All Comments on 'Doesn't Like to Read'

One of the best.

You took a cliche situation, livened it up with great dialogue and appealingly bad jokes, and topped it off with a wonderfully sexy anal scene.

More please!

Well written, and enjoyable story!

Incredible writing, sophisticated, extremely sensual and sexual all at once. Amazing.

Fantastic anal fucking

Very good read. Hoping for more.

Sweet

Nice story, very sexy! I hope you will post more.

Thanks to everyone who commented. I know it's much easier not to bother. Would love to hear more about how the story works or doesn't from anyone else inclined to take the time.

"'Sarah,' the sound of my roommate Tanya's voice snapped me out of my reverie, 'you took half an hour in the shower, and now you've been standing wrapped in that towel for 5 minutes looking into your underwear drawer. "

"Sarah? or !" (capital T))he sound of my roommate Tanya's voice snapped me out of my reverie(period). "(capital Y)ou took a half- hour shower(no comma) and now you've been standing wrapped in that towel for (five) minutes, looking into your underwear drawer."

So many mistakes of basic writing in the first paragraph made me quit right there.

I saw this in the forum where the author was looking for more detailed feedback.

I'm surprised at the author seeking more validation as the score is very healthy with a nice glut of positive comments. That in itself is even more surprising as the writing is ordinary. Slightly below average, in my view.

The main issue is the dialogue. The conversation isn't grounded in any kind of realism and comes across as lazy. You feel the author rushing past the core of the conversation to get to the parts that he/she much prefers.

As it's an erotic piece, you could halfway forgive the author's haste but the sex scene has absolutely no heat, whatsoever. There's nothing seductive or erotic about the perfunctory description of sexual acts with unrealistic dialogue.

I think the author can write, but my advice would be to focus more on the characters. Who are they and how do their personalities impact the way in which they communicate with one another?

Ordinarily, I'd have no interest in reading anything further from an author who produced this kind of bland work. But it would be an interesting experiment for this author to write a new story with multiple prominent characters, each with their own personality and style.

I'd like you to know I am no expert nor am I educated in the ways of storytelling, my methodology for making a story is purely spontaneous. Now with that out of the way and my conscious clear, I shall critique it in my opinion.

Firstly, the spelling and grammar had a bit left to be desired, rereading the same story several times with the same eyes can make you blind to the errors, a second set of eyes might help. Also, taking a break for a week or two and then coming back to it can help. But it wasn't bad enough to justify me making a big complaint. It happens, I understand.

Secondly, my biggest gripe is the lack of passion throughout the entire story. It felt almost as if it was all being executed with a medical precision. Intercourse is a dance, a ritual, even a proclamation of rebellion, it isn't purely for satisfaction, it can be a message of power, a show of force, or a shameful experience! Imagine a time when you had butterflies talking to someone, that anxiety of their idea of who you are and what they think of you whilst you talk to them, then mix that with the adrenaline one gains while doing something wrong and shameful. If you've ever taking a candy bar or any ol' item from a store, remember that spike in emotion of getting caught, the thrill of prying eyes, the harrowing thought of being caught in the act, this is the raw emotion missing in this story. Exclamatory sentences I feel are a must in erotic literature, purely because in my personal experiences the most memorable and lewd scenarios with my S.O. were barbaric and wild! Passion doesn't need to be painful or vulgar, but it does help, what it needs to be is a swelling feeling of desire. Doing something wrong is nearly the focal point of this story yet it felt underwhelming, as if both parties had no concerns for the aftermath. Even so it was stated repeatedly what the potential dangers were afterwards it wasn't a driving force to the latent carnal desires. This professor is seemingly acting against his moral compass and his own beliefs (at least from the description of him as a whole this is what I gathered) yet he slides right into this lewd dance of satisfaction without the back and forth one suffers while contemplating the ideas of betraying their core beliefs for that little piece of heaven.

Thirdly, the characters didn't have enough substance to justify the length of the story to me. I've seen short stories perfectly summarize the ideals, fears, and dreams of a character in 250 words while putting in a compelling story. Kessel makes a statement about Crane "The deals Crane made were despicable, and he deserved to be fired.", from this you can gather a sense of disapproval of the actions Crane did. He later states in the same sentence "On the other hand, I don't know if I could as heartily condemn a man who gave in to a proposal like the one you just made to me.", from this you can tell he's only reluctant not completely against the possibility, but these two quotes clash! This causes a sense of duality that wasn't expressed properly later on.

Lastly, I actually thought it was good, Kessel was caring for Sarah and all in all it was wholesome. I appreciate the effort you put into making the story and honestly would like to see where you can evolve and expand on future stories. Please don't get discouraged, I definitely see potential in your works! Take care and keep on writing!

Thanks for the detailed comments responding to my request for feedback in the forum. It would seem my first task is to go back and do some copy-editing on this story. I knew I had been a bit uneven on the quotation marks and such. I guess I thought since that sort of error never throws me as a reader, it wouldn't throw others either. I should have realised it is idiosyncratic: certain misspellings will cause me to close a story and read no further. It seems that other readers are bothered by different types of errors. Best to get it all right so no reader has cause to complain. The most recent comment suggested a second set of eyes, but since this was my first story, I was reluctant to ask someone on the site to copy-edit something that might prove to have no appeal to anyone anyway. Perhaps I'll wait another week, and try to edit it myself to remove any distracting errors. As to the more substantive comments about style and characters, I don't think I'll try to fix them in the current story. It is what it is. But I'll certainly take those suggestions into account in any future writing.

This was nearly an excellent story. Which in some ways makes the drawbacks more annoying!

Like some others, I nearly stopped reading because of all the punctuation errors in the first few paragraphs. Find a proofreader or beta reader on the Lit editor list or just ask nicely in the Authors Hangout or Editors Forum (mention the length, category, and general theme).

I liked the characterisation of the prof, slowly being tempted, and both their dialogue was pretty good. Definitely a few notches above many student-seduces-prof stories. Her character was a bit odd - it didn't ring true that someone suddenly so up for anal had never had vaginal sex, and being a virgin didn't seem necessary for the story. The bit about condoms was a bit muddled - I wasn't clear whether he was just making a point that he really didn't generally sleep around, or they were going for anal to avoid pregnancy, or what. The gleeful dismissal of them seemed a bit odd for both of them, but then I'm from the AIDS generation.

Good first story, please keep writing. You weren't boring - it's way way harder to fix boring!

Great story. see your forum for this story for details.

I thoroughly enjoyed it. Unlike a earlier comment, I thought it had plenty of passion and heat. During my senior year of college I had a sexual encounter with a professor. I had already had an A in his class, so no quid pro quo. 😁. Your story brought back some very pleasant memories.

Nice story. Lots of real skill in all that ass play! I was intrigued by the back-and-forth between intellectual and sexual fuckery. Much as I love both, I don't believe I could keep both up at the same time the way they do!

I thoroughly enjoyed it. Sure, learn from the feedback. However, your instincts for character development and good storytelling are very good! I was hoping for more chapters so that’s the best compliment possible.