All Comments on 'Donate Sperm'

Don't know about this one. The story was a bit unrealistic ( I know it's fiction)but the launguage errors were way too many. You really need an editor. But thanks for the write. Jim

far too many spelling errors and grammar was bad. story was only slightly believable

but I wasn't going to read 3 pages with the obvious typos through out the first couple of paragraphs.

Is English your first language? Do you trust Microsoft to auto-correct everything for you? BIG mistake if you do!!

Could have been a good story line but completely wrecked by the spelling and grammatical errors.

English does not appear to be your first language however. The frustration for the reader is determining what word you had intended to use. Your ideas and story are fine....just proofread before you submit or have someone else correct the errors.

I fully agree with the others that a great deal of editing is in order. Also, I doubt liquid hydrogen is used since it would be a little dangerous to say the least. Try liquid nitrogen

As soon as I read that and got hit by the first 6 grammatical/spelling errors I stopped reading it........

and from reading the other comments it seems I did the right thing

know - not

necked - naked

taking - talking

arraignment - arrangement

lip - limp

limb - limp

hydrogen - should be nitrogen

dyeing - dieing

fell- feel

when - went

hear - here

then I stopped reading.

I liked the story. Let's get that out of the way. Up until now, I never complained about spelling and grammar. But all the errors in one story? That tells me you only used a computer spell-checker. I suggest for your next story (and you should continue to write), you should get an editor. It'll improve your story and raise your readership by leaps and bounds.

Does your (or your editor's) computer have a spelling checker?

I tried to read but there were so many errors in the spelling and syntax that I gave up on it. Try editing the story and have someone proof read it and re-submit PLEASE

All of the words in the comment title are spelled correctly and make sense grammatically, unlike those of your "story." As an avid Literotica fan for over 15 years, this piece of crap is the worst submission to date. Hey, Literotica editors, how in the hell did this story get past you???

I stopped reading after the first paragraph.

It is sad that in the writer that the ambition to write is in inverse proportion to his ability

the old indian

Your story is full of homonyms (here, hear) that aren't caught by a spell checker. They made this a very difficult read. I can't be sure, but the story line should be good once the story is edited.

I couldn't even get through the first page, my brain hurt too much trying to edit on the fly. Really needs some cleanup!

Have you ever tried using spellcheck? The story is good, but your spelling detracts from it.

I stopped reading after this: I'm not well built but know skinny either. What don't show ...

Get an editor!

Best thing I've read in ages.

I read the last paragraph three times it was so good.

I was in tears.

Genius.

If you are reading this comment in the feedback portal I urge you to read this story through to the end. It will make your day.

This has a good story line and could be extended; a couple of things however, you need a spell check badly. You are also sadly lacking in your syntax. Your story is very difficult to read. Make some changes.

...which is what it is when an adult is gawking at under-age penises. What the fuck Lit, PEDOPHILIA?

To the idiots that sent comments. Spell check won't work. The words are spelt correctly they are the wrong words. please get an editor

You should get an editor to correct your English, your grammar and also to remove the inconsistencies in the story.

CANT EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH PROPERLY

your spelling errors really ruined it. They were simple spelling errors and were the same words throughout the story. You need to have someone read and correct those spelling errors before you release your story.

Decent story, but way too many grammatical errors

I gave up halfway through the second page, dear gods get an editor, or go take an English class

I didn't make it through the first page before giving up because of the grammar. It may have been a good story but most of us will never know.

The frequent grammatical and spelling errors make this an unreadable story and as erotic as unwashed dishes. Get an editor and try again; the idea was strong.

I think this was a good story and I hope to read more of your stories, but I agree with other comments that editing (a proofreader) would improve your stories. Good luck.

hope there a continuation of this story

WORK ON YOUR SPELLING!

I appreciate that we should write like we talk but that statement also includes making sure your grammar and spelling are accurate. Even if you speak from a deeply engrained colloquial dialect, English has editing conventions that allow you to write IN that dialect, conveying all the rich and unique flavor that constitutes the speech of your region or country.

I quit reading at "11 inch cock.'' Bring something real, then maybe I will read it.

I couldn't read through the story due to the ineptitude of your spelling...

Yes, spelling and grammar are vital to ensure people don't think you're a pre-teen/retard.

Everything's fine..but a lot of gramatical mistakes...story is awesome...next time please correct these mistakes.You are a great author.

Interesting. Good ideas for a plot line. Uses dialog. So gave it 5 stars.

Maybe my language ability (including 8 years education after high school) helped my understanding even with the extensive writing problems.

Summary: great storytelling; putting into proper writing, not so much.

Still, an enjoyable read.

Paul in Oklahoma

Many spelling errors, incorrect words and poor punctuation spoiled what could have been a wonderful experience. So much so I couldn’t read more than a page and a half.

...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

NO, you really don't have an 11" dick

Do you though? If you did you'd not brag about it.

"What don't show is I have an eleven-inch cock that is fairly thick."

Oh give it a fucking rest.

Try using Spell-Check.

This was terrible. I think this was written by a 18yr old illiterate moron who will never get pussy