All Comments on 'Don't Start Something'

all for a hostile takeover, dumping a mate, cutting off your own nose and still cant win, TK U MLJ LV NV

Nice complete story very enjoyable, Thanks for sharing.

Good Read 5 *s

:)

...but Emma and Eliza worked diligently to shaft Ewan, both personally and professionally. That oh-so-civilized conversation at the end was totally unbelievable for me. Good work, thanks for sharing.

you get five because you had the brains to finish the story in one chapter. Its seems we got a lot of Jason and Freddy writers that think they need to repeat over and over for 20 chapters . Good story thanks for a finsh

This character has no balls at all. Every character in this storoy is as sexless as a maniquin. No BTB story can exist without lawyers and computers and wire taps doing all the work, but this don't even make it as soap opera. Their is a army of us got our nuts cut off by a cheating wife and we depend on you guys to keep us sane. Now this crap.

Decent enough plot, but overly rushed. I don't want to go back and calculate exactly how much time passed, but it wasn't much, and was made to seem like even less. You had plenty of time to spend more developing the characters, but didn't. As such, I didn't care about them nearly as much as I would like to have. For example, Peta seemed to be thrown into the story as a reward for our hero, with a couple of turns as a plot device, rather than a full character. Ewan is described as having gotten to know her, but we readers never did.

WONDERFUL GREATLY ENJOYED IT LOOK FORWARD TO THE NEXT ONE

Needs some serious editing. Very hard to keep track of changes in dialogue (who was speaking, change in scenes, etc.)

So many different ways for it to go wrong and they all did. Just like the assessment given of Company and Trusts law, it was too complicated to understand. Needlessly so. If the author had just picked one scenario and stuck with it it could have been a good read. First it was Mother and Daughter, then the corporate raider, then a murder plot, followed by the CEO and the company lawyer(s), and then . . . . darn.

Even considering it was written for an erotic story, I think this entry has the potential to be in an mainline magazine as an enjoyable piece of fiction about the corporate world. Might be closer to the truth. A good read and excellent writing. Will look forward to more from this five star author. Thanks!

Quite a few twists and turns here. I am glad that the author did not feel obliged to tell us about how Ewan ran the company, if he did, nor tell us how many children he had with Petra.

The twists and turns made this story. But a Citroen SM! Are there any still running?

12 months for a divorce? No mention of the lawsuit for the shit wifey and her mom pulled on the guy? Why did hubby give a flying what happened to the company considering the shit he was put through? Good start but weak ending.

The dryest, least emotional story of a romance ever posted here!

Comments were more exciting. This read was like a math textbook. That's 35 minutes lost forever,lol.

AMerryMan

overall a very interesting story. I enjoyed it.

An excellent story held my interest from beginning from beginning to end.Excellent balance of; intrigue, changing relationships, and power shift.

Which was abbreviated at best, non-existent at worst. As I said, pretty good story. A little confusing in parts as I wasn't sure who was speaking. But that worked itself out, it simply could have been clearer. The ending was a disaster. What happens? Do the women retain control or do they go to jail. The camera in his apartment was a criminal act. Their dismissal of him was certainly "wrongful termination" and he could have been awarded damages. Why a year for the divorce? What happened to Martin and his attorney girlfriend? Do Ewan and Petra get married? SOOOOO many questions that go unanswered.

but try and get even first, TK U MLJ LV NV

I am a fan of your writing but this one was very difficult to read. You change scenes without warning, it was difficult to tell who was speaking.

I finally scanned most of it.

Nice first draft.

Too bad we'll never see it written up right.

ttom

because tad complicated and at least 2 pages short. but continue on, keep up

the good fight

if unusually scripted without the typical..." I am going to kill everyone, make millions and find a half my age huge boobed nympho who loves me more" inclusions.

Yep, it was about financial wrongdoings, and it wasnt the type of stuff that simpletons would pick up..but it was interesting, different to the norm, Well done .

the plot of the tale changed from as to who was doing what. most of the truth

came out as to who was doing what. the ending was not final and all the

lies were not answered . good tale

Some of the commentators seem to be confused by events, so here is my explanation.

At some point Martin, Morgan and Grant formed a conspiracy )as defined by the RICO Act) to dispossess Eliza and Emma of their inheritance.

Probably Martin was in some sort of personal financial trouble while in an affair with Morgan.

Was Grant already involved in financial manipulations with Martin? Maybe Grant was also in an affair with Morgan? And shady characters like Grant are always overextended and desperate for the next gamble to pay off before the loan sharks come calling.

Maybe Morgan instigated the both of the men into her scheme? Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

During this part of the plot, Grant was feeding Eliza's paranoia and through her, Emma's with lies about Ewan's acts of adultery.

As the ex-wife helped procure the apartment for her ex-husband, she had legal access to the domicile and the right to monitor her property. (A reverse Stang06 here.)

She will claim that once it was no longer hers, she was attempting to remover the no longer permissible offending camera.

Goes to show just how stupid the spelunking BTB lynchmob trolls really are that they would whine about the story ending.

That the author avoided that ending most dreaded of perpetual adolescents the "Reconciliation" between husband and wife.

was Emma having an affair with Grant? other wise why dump Ewan, it was said that Grant had convince Emma that Ewan was having an affair but no info was given or evidence presented, about Emma and Grant?

The last set of twists putting martin in with Grant was very nicely done and a fairly reasonable idea too - not the typical murder mystery where the culprit was a long lost cousin you never heard of lol.

A fun rad too - Peta was a good character for him to have there.

So often people complain about how the story ends too suddenly,or that it doesn't end at all.Well,like real life, the stories don't end there,but they do have to stop in the telling at some point.There are a lot of stories here that I'd like to see continue on,to see where it goes to.But we don't always get what we want. Also realize that the writers may not know exactly how they would want the story to go past a certain point in the telling.I will at times fault something a writer does sometimes,but some of the things that so many find fault with are so bad that it borders on stupidity.

A pretty complete story that stopped at a logical point.

A great short mystery! Very well written that completely captured and held my

attention. Thank you for the effort and I will be sure to check out your other works.

jntiques

but remember Never ask or Start something you cant answer of finish. TK U MLJ LV NV

you did not finish it....what happened to them...did they get prosecuted...did mother and daughter get off scot free...too many loose ends again and left us in the dark as to what happened...or are we supposed to make up our own ending....pitiful...

It was a good story until it just stopped.

After having read this story for the second time I have come to agree with others that it could use a second chapter, as there are too many loose ends left in this story.

would really like to see a second chapter to this work of art

This author never seems finish a story, good stories but never a finale chapter.

now the coverts come into court jurisdiction. TK U MLJ LV NV

A really good story but it needs a better ending. AAAAA++++

1 star -

Half way down the first page, I immediately went directly to the last page and comments - talk about loose ends? Every other sentence is a loose end.

What kind of an idiot would consider moving into an apartment that his ex-wife gave to him? Yeah RIGHT!!!!

Talk about entrapment - video/audio devices throughout, following the MC and PA in all their planning. hahaha

Part 2 or another 1 or 2 pages to solve the Company/Shares mystery and allow Ewan and Petra to wed and be happy? Like the 2 dogs taking action.

The ending was aJ OKE!!

WHERE OR WHERE is your completion?

Or are U planning a part two which by the way you have not eluded to.

WHAT has happened to your writing?

You write a good, detailed story and then botch it at the end.

Go back to writing like you did in your initial stories.