Dormant Desires Pt. 01

Remember before when I mentioned concocting a plan? Well, it's pretty pathetic, but this is my master plan. I'm pretending to be looking for a dorm room, but it's for a dorm on the opposite side of campus. Brilliant huh? I know it's ridiculous.

Chris (looking confused): "2620? Are you sure you're in the right dorm?"

I then proceed to give him the name of that other dorm. In my defense, the two names kind of sound similar? Like maybe a little? In all honesty, they really don't, but they do start with the same letter at least, so I'm sticking with that as my explanation for supposedly getting them confused.

Chris (now realizing I'm in the wrong building): "Ahhh... That's actually nowhere near here. We don't even have rooms with 4 digit numbers in this dorm."

Me (pretending to be annoyed): "Ah fuck. I'm an idiot."

Chris: "Oh stop. Don't sweat it. So who lives there anyway that you're trying to find?"

Me: "It's my son's room. He's a freshman here."

Chris (reacting very strongly): "Get the fuck out!"

Me: "Woah."

Chris (now looking apologetic): "Sorry, strong reaction. But I'm sorry, there's just no way you could have a kid in college!"

This instantly brings a big smile to my face, and honestly, this right here is it. That comment is exactly what I came here looking to find. Keep it coming, young man.

Chris (acting as if he's genuinely confused and not just like he's trying to charm me): "I mean it must be your stepson, right? Or is your son some sort of super genius who went to college at 12 years old? Or did you have him when you were 8?!? I'm not a math major or anything, but I'm pretty sure looking at you, the math just doesn't work."

Me (feeling so good on the inside right now but trying my best not to show it): "Ha. No, my son is definitely not a super genius. And he actually is really my son. You certainly do know how to flatter a 39-year-old woman, though."

Chris: "Well trust me, you don't look a day over 30. But I gotta ask, how is it possible that you don't know where your son's dorm room is?"

Me: "Ughhh. Long story, but his father and I are recently separated, and I travel a lot for work, so I wasn't here to drop him off last month, and so I thought I'd come surprise him tonight and finally see his room and maybe take him out to dinner. But I'm already realizing this might not have been the best idea."

Chris (with a little chuckle): "Because you don't know how to use Google Maps?"

Me (with a mocking laugh): "Ha ha very funny. No, because I texted him a heads up an hour ago asking if he was around and he hasn't texted back. So I don't even know if he's in his room right now or not!"

Chris (making a pained wincing face): "Eh, yeah no offense, but a parent showing up unexpected on a Friday night isn't really a good look."

Just then, another student pops out of the room across the hall from where Chris and I have been standing and chatting. This student is wearing flip flops, athletic shorts, and a t-shirt that simply says "BALLS DEEP" in plain text with nothing else. He appears to be of Indian descent, but with no accent.

Indian Kid (to Chris): "Hey any word back from that Fucker?"

Chris: "Nada. Radio silence."

Indian Kid: "Fuck. How long ago did you text him?"

Chris (turning his head back to me to include me in the conversation): "Speaking of waiting to hear back on a text..."

Chris (turning back to his friend): "I texted him initially at like two. And then again like an hour ago."

Indian Kid: "Okay, well we probably need to start thinking about a backup plan then. And who's this? Is this your older sister you had talked about?!?"

Chris: "Ha no. Definitely not my sister. This is Becca. And Becca is trying to find her son, but her son lives all the way over on North Campus."

Indian Kid (looking very perplexed, before sticking out his hand): "Okay. Very weird... but anyway, I'm Raj. Nice to meet you."

Me (while shaking Raj's hand): "Nice to meet you too, Raj."

Raj (after tapping Chris on the shoulder before walking back into his room): "Ok well let me know if you hear anything."

Chris: "Will do."

Me (to Chris with genuine curiosity): "So who is this 'Fucker' you're trying to track down?"

Chris: "Eh, it's this guy who lives down the hall. We're trying to find someone to buy for us this weekend."

Me (after moving in closer to Chris and lowering my voice to a barely audible whisper): "Drugs? You're trying to find someone to buy drugs for you?"

Chris (breaking out into laughter): "Ha. No. Booze. We're trying to figure out who can buy alcohol for us."

Me (realizing I'm so lame): "Ahhhhh... gotcha. That makes more sense."

Chris: "Yeah this guy on our hall has a perfect fake ID. Well, actually it's a real ID of a different person, but it looks just like him so it's pretty much guaranteed to work. And so he bought for us last weekend and we were hoping he would be able to do it again tonight. And as I'm saying this, I'm realizing how weird it is that I'm explaining all of this to someone else's Mom. Ha."

Me (laughing): "Oh your secret is definitely safe with me. I'm actually flattered that you trust me enough to share!"

Chris: "Ha. No problem. I'm sure it's because you don't seem like a mom. But anyway, his ID doesn't do us any good if he never texts us back."

As he says this, he lifts his phone in the air to make a point that he needs to get this text, and right as he does, his phone vibrates. Chris perks up excitedly at the notification, but as he reads it I can see the expression on his face start to drop.

Chris (yelling across the hall into Raj's room): "It's a no go! He's already gone for the weekend! Fuck."

Me (sensing their disappointment but trying to make light of the situation with a smile): "That Fucker."

Chris (smiling with a laugh): "Exactly. That Fucker."

Me (now it's my turn to hold my phone up to make a point): "Well, at least he texted you back. Unlike my son that is."

Chris: "Ha. Exactly. How can he not text his own mom back?!? On second thought, I'm terrible about texting my parents back so I probably shouldn't talk."

At this point, I realize what I have to do. In all honesty, for as ridiculous as this plan was to just randomly wander through a dorm, it could not possibly be going any better than it is so far. Chris is fantastic, extremely cute, and doesn't seem to be judging me at all for striking up this conversation. In fact if anything, I'm pretty confident he's actually flirting with me. And now, I've been given a golden opportunity to keep this interaction going, so there's no way I'm going to pass it up.

Me (with a very mischievous smile): "You know... I also happen to have a real ID that looks just like me."

Chris (with his eyes instantly becoming as big as saucers): "No fucking way! You would do that for us?"

Me: "Honestly? What else do I have to do right now? I feel like a fool for trying to surprise visit my son, so hopefully there can be something good to come from all of this."

Chris (with full-blown appreciation and excitement): "Oh my god. That would be so amazing. You have no idea. Here! Come with me."

Chris then leads me into what I assume is his room, and as I walk in, I can see someone who appears to be his roommate sitting at a desk playing some sort of a computer game. The kid has gigantic headphones on and seems to be totally immersed as he's frantically moving his mouse and pressing buttons on his keyboard.

Chris (yelling and trying to get the attention of this kid): "Ethan. Ethan!!"

Kid whose name is apparently Ethan (while pushing his headphones down around his neck): "What?"

Chris: "How much money do you have on you?"

Ethan (looking kind of annoyed): "What? You mean like cash?"

Chris: "Yeah. It's for alcohol for tonight."

Ethan: "I don't know. Not much probably. Can't we just Venmo Tristen again?"

Chris: "That Fucker isn't here, unfortunately. He left for the weekend."

Ethan (looking less annoyed): "Oh. Who's buying then?"

Chris then gestures towards me as I'm standing just inside the doorway to their room. Apparently, Ethan hadn't noticed me until this point, because when he turns and sees me, he acts very surprised.

Ethan: "Oh wow. Who's that?"

Me (giving a friendly wave to Ethan who's still sitting in his chair): "Hello there, I'm Becca. I'm a friend of Chris's."

I then turn and look back at Chris, and he has this wry smile that's making his eyes squint up in the cutest way. I'm guessing he's reacting to the part where I said I was a 'friend' of his?

Chris (after a brief moment of direct eye contact with me): "Hey, can we pay you with Venmo or Zelle or something? I'm worried we don't have much cash on hand."

Me (wanting to make this as easy as possible on them but knowing there's no way I can give them any actual personal info): "Ooof... I wish you could, but just with the fact that I'm buying some underage kids some alcohol, I really don't think I want any sort of way to trace that to me? Is that okay? Or is that lame?

Chris: "Oh of course. That's not lame at all. I totally, totally, get it."

Ethan (holding a few bills that look to be mostly ones): "Here, this is all I got."

Chris (grabbing his roommates money): "Cool. Lemme see if Raj has any cash. Be right back."

As Chris darts out of the room, I see Ethan turn back to his computer, but not to resume playing, but rather to close his game altogether. He takes off his headphones and stands up.

Ethan (sticking his hand out): "Hi, I'm Ethan."

Me (shaking his hand while smiling): "Nice to meet you, Ethan."

I hadn't noticed it until he stood up, but Ethan is surprisingly tall. He's well over 6 feet, but he's also very skinny. He's not as good looking as Chris is, at least not in a traditional way, but after the way he just stopped doing what he was doing to introduce himself to me, he's giving off a vibe of being an extremely nice and polite kid. In fact all of these kids seem so polite, and despite this post-covid world we live in, I think I've managed to shake all three of their hands! It's quite refreshing, and not to be overly hyperbolic, but a pretty good sign for this upcoming generation.

But anyway, Ethan is wearing a pair of khaki shorts with a bunch of pockets, which to be honest aren't really in style these days, and he has on kind of a nerdy short-sleeved collared shirt with a checkered pattern. He does have a very distinguished jawline with some cute dimples, as well as a pronounced Adam's Apple, and a very deep voice that seems to fit his tall frame.

Ethan: "So how do you and Chris know each other?"

Me: "Ha. I actually was joking about Chris and me being friends just now. We only met a few moments ago. I was wandering down your hall completely lost and Chris was trying to help me out. I know it's so weird, but he was just so nice, and then I overheard that you guys were trying to find someone old enough to buy you booze, so I figured I would return the favor of his kindness."

Ethan (nodding and smiling): "Ah okay. That's awesome. And so who or what were you trying to find that had you so lost?"

Me (with a grimaced and sheepishly embarrassed expression on my face): "Eh... my son?"

Ethan (totally surprised): "Oh wow. Really?"

Me: "Yeah, believe it or not I have a son who's a freshman."

Ethan: "Holy fuck that's crazy. And your son lives in our dorm?!?"

Me: "Ha. You'd think that, but no. That was problem number one. Apparently, I'm not even on the right side of campus."

Like that other Raj kid a few moments ago, Ethan seems a little weirded out by my story, which probably isn't surprising since I'm completely full of shit. But thankfully, his attention is momentarily redirected when Chris comes hurriedly back into their room, holding a large number of dollar bills. Raj is right behind him.

Chris (handing me the money): "Okay, we got 52 dollars. Should be enough, but sorry for all the small bills."

Me (accepting the wad of cash): "Okay great. So where's the closest liquor store and what do you want me to get for you?"

Chris (pointing out the window): "It's like a half mile right down this street. You can't miss it on the corner where the traffic light is."

Me: "Sure. Got it."

Chris: "So do you know what a handle is? Like the really large bottles of alcohol?"

Me (having no idea what he means): "Handle?"

Chris (demonstrating with his hands): "So you have like the normal sized bottles of liquor, like a fifth. And then you have the big ones, those are handles. Handles will have 1.75 liters in it, so if you're not sure just check the quantity on the bottle. 1.75 is what you want."

Me: "Sure. Got it. So what kind of liquor do you want? What brand?"

Chris (after a very brief discussion with Raj): "Can you get three handles? One vodka, one whiskey, and one rum. Just get the cheapest brand they have. But make sure it's a full handle."

Me (doing a little mental math): "Is this really enough money for three huge bottles?"

Chris (looking apologetic): "I hope so? That's all the cash we were able to round up right now, but if it's short, would you mind still getting the three bottles and we'll make up the difference as soon as you get back?"

Me (not caring at all about a few dollars): "Oh it's totally fine. I was just curious, but yeah I'll get three of the big bottles for you no matter what."

Chris (very affectionately): "Oh my god. You are the best. But definitely let us know if you had to overpay for any of it and we'll get you back for every penny. I swear."

Me (kind of excited about my little shopping trip for the boys): "Okay, I'll be back with your booze in a little bit!"

Raj (looking not nearly as excited as Chris is right now): "Can I just go on the record and say something? Am I the only one who thinks there's like a 50% chance that we're all getting conned here? Ethan? Back me up."

Chris (giving his friend the total stink face): "Dude?!?"

Raj (turning to me): "No offense, of course."

Chris (looking quite pissed at his friend): "Do you seriously think this woman came in here with this elaborate story just to scam us for 52 fucking dollars?!?"

Ethan (looking at me): "Yeah, Raj, I'm with Chris here. If this is a scam, then please, by all means, enjoy our 52 dollars. But maybe I don't care because I only put in 7? Ha."

Me (trying to alleviate his fears): "Raj, Raj... I promise you I really do have an 18-year-old son, and I really will come back with your alcohol. But how about this... when I do come back, you're gonna do two shots right off the bat. Just as an apology for doubting me, okay?"

Raj (now smiling): "Okay, okay. Fine. If, and that's a big if. If you come back, then I'll happily do a double shot of whiskey. But what do I get if you don't come back?"

Me (giving him a smirk): "In that case, you'll have to take two shots of water, because you won't have any liquor."

Ethan: "Ha! That's pretty funny."

Chris (also laughing): "Becca, thank you. You. Are. A. Godsend. And don't worry about Raj, he's just a paranoid dude."

And with that I exit their room and make my way out of the dorm and towards my car. As I'm walking, I can't help but take a little skip step of excitement that would be more appropriate for an elementary school girl than a woman pushing 40. But fuck it, I'm excited, and just as I was so desperately hoping for, I feel completely alive. In fact, while I've felt many positive emotions at various points over my adult life, from the pride of seeing our son graduate as his class's salutatorian, to the elation of watching him find out he got accepted to his first choice of college, to the tremendous honor of walking my little sister down the aisle when she got married. All of those have felt great. But I've never felt as excited and downright giddy as I do right now. At least not as an adult. I know it's pathetic, and I know it's silly, but I don't care, because it feels amazing.

But anyway, I need to focus on the task at hand! I get in my car and head in the direction Chris had pointed, and sure enough there's a small store with a huge LIQUOR sign on it. As I walk in, the first section I see is vodka, and the bottles appear to be loosely organized by price. There are a number of extremely cheap options, none of which I've ever heard of before. There's a giant bottle of something called McCormick for $14.89, but then I find one even cheaper called Popov for $12.89. It's basically a giant plastic jug that I confirm is exactly 1.75 liters, but just thinking about drinking this paint thinner gives me a shudder. I am by no means a food and drink snob, but is this really what these boys enjoy drinking?

At this point, I get an idea. I'm not actually going to buy these kids this bottom of the barrel rubbing alcohol, but rather I'm going to treat them to something decent. So instead of that $12 jug that looks like it's leftover from the Soviet Union, I grab a 1.75 liter bottle of Tito's vodka instead. I move to the whiskey section and grab a giant bottle of Jack Daniel's, and then I pick up a big glass bottle of Bacardi as well. I mean after all, while I'm not planning on getting super drunk tonight in this dorm room, I obviously plan on having at least a few drinks with these boys, so I'd much prefer having something halfway-decent available. And better yet, maybe they'll appreciate the free upgrade on their liquor and I'll get a few brownie points as well! If nothing else, it'll make Raj look like a fool for doubting me.

So I check out at the counter and the three bottles cost me roughly double the amount of cash they'd given me. Money well spent in my opinion. I head back to the dorm, find the exact same parking spot I was in before, and grab the two bags of booze from my trunk.

As I start walking towards the main entrance of the dorm, I see Chris is standing outside waiting for me. How sweet! As soon as he sees me, he starts a light jog to come meet me.

Chris (in a soft yell because he's still a few yards away): "Becca, you are amazing! Here, let me grab those. You don't have to carry 'em."

Me (handing off the three clinking bottles to Chris): "Why thank you. You didn't have to come meet me!"

Chris (looking as charming and cute as ever and oh my god I really want to fuck this kid tonight): "Oh of course I did. It'd be rude not to... and wait a sec. Are these glass bottles? What did you get?!?"

Me (slightly embarrassed that I spent my own money on them): "Oh that's a little surprise. I saw what you meant by the cheapest liquor in the store and I just couldn't. It looked too gross. So I upgraded you guys. My treat."

Chris (looking into the bags stunned): "Oh my fucking god. Tito's? Jack?!?"

Me: "Sorry, sorry. That was weird of me."

Chris (looking back up and directly at me): "You are just the nicest, most perfect... mom... goddess... fuck I don't even know how to describe you."

Me (helpless to not blush at his complements): "It really was not a big deal."

Chris (looking like a begging puppy dog): "Will you please, please come up and join us for a drink? Did you ever hear back from your son?"

Me (continuing with my fake backstory): "Yeah he finally did text. It's safe to say you were right about the surprise Friday night visit not being the best idea. He asked to reschedule for tomorrow and I said that was fine."

Chris (perking up): "Oh perfect, then you should absolutely come up and have a drink with us!"

Me (trying damn hard to hide just how excited I am at the offer): "Oh I don't know... If I don't have any reason to be here tonight, I should probably just head home."

Chris (downright despondent): "No, no, no, you can't go. Please just join us for one drink. Just one."

Me: "I'll tell you what, I don't think I need a drink, but I'll at least come up for a minute to prove to Raj that I didn't steal your money."