All Comments on 'Double or Nothing Pt. 05'

Sorry to see The End, that's all folks

Oitstanding ! Please keep writing, you're very good at it.

Don't start this series if you don't want to be held to every moment . It is compelling, dramatic, and exciting

O2O1, my compliments on a nicely done story with an interesting plot. While your length is greater than typical on Lit, it was a great step in your expanding skill level. Each story from you has shown great improvement. This last submission is also the best of your list regarding editing, grammar and proofing.

However, you have some opportunities to continue the journey as an author -

+ This could have been improved with additional editing to more efficiently tell the story (make it shorter).

+ Please run spellcheck one more time - simple spelling errors are often easy to catch.

+ Please review the use of myself/herself/yourself. Your use is almost universally wrong.

+ Do an internet search on "lay versus lie." Incorrect use of lie/lay/lying vs. lay/laid/laying is seriously distracting when you know what is correct.

+ This is the first story in your library which did not universally misuse "your versus you're". The simple test substitution of "you are" where "your" is used will show which form is correct.

Thank you again for your submission. I hope you implement these corrections which make reading your stories easier, less confusing, and reduce the re-reads of a paragraph just to understand the action.

Keep 'em comin'.

great. followed to the end. enjoyed immensely

Harmony and Melody did not need to get severely injured. It was way over the top.

Certainly one of the best written stories on Lit.

It moved along at a good pace. There was plenty of character development creating in depth characters, even if some of them were too good to be true. Plenty of twists and turns in the plot.

Perhaps just a slight overuse of coincidental meetings, particularly the one in the epilogue.

I guess Maitland or Bathurst are not particularly big places, so bumping into people is quite likely. Not that the hospital location is revealed in the story.

I cannot accept that Dickhead would have been out on a pre release work scheme after such short time into his 30 year sentence.

But a great easily read story.

Spellbinding. This old canadian has read thru a couple of times and enjoyed it immensly. Thank you

I have really enjoyed this story, in fact I have enjoyed each of your stories. I would very much want for you to add a chapter to this outstanding story detailing what you alluded to in the epilogue. PLEASE!!!

5 stars for me, such a good story. I thought it got a bit far fetched at times, and it was a bit rough at first becauseof the grammar but unlike 90% of people on here who struggle with grammar you went out of your way to fix it and that's a huge bonus in my book, but I loved the main characters a ton. I think you could have toned down the confrontations just a tad, to me it got a bit exhausting that the wife and daughter just couldn't get it through their heads. I also think the epilogue was a bit meh. Way too much happened with 0 explanation, I dont think Mel and Harmony needed to be hurt or shot or whatever, especially with no explanation. Im also curious how the good doctor got out in order to assault anyone. However with that being said, Mac getting a happy ending made me really happy. From someone with a manipulative parent growing up, her situation hit very close to home. I would have been sad if she died, and I would have been absolutely heartbroken if you went through with the whole Pretending to give her bone marrow and then saying "Psyche!" ending. I will be following for future stories. Thank you for an amazing last few hours of reading.

Excellent series! I gave all 5 stories % BIG STARS each. Thank you!

Whew! WOW! What a first effort, you have set your future writings’ bar very, very high. Congrats, and keep up the great work.

Excellent series of this story. I was hooked from the beginning to the end. Couldn't put it down. I love how you built your characters making them more real. Because of this your story came to life and enjoyed immensely. Thanks for a great story.

This was a very entertaining story, but I have some issues with it.

#1. A rich doctor, would never attack someone with syringes in the hospital. Everything is filmed, and he was sure to lose his license, and go to jail, regardless of whether he was successful.

#2. A convicted attempted murderer, who used his knowledge and access to drugs, would never have been allowed on work release, to be in a hospital. In fact, I highly doubt anyone in prison, would be allowed to work in a hospital.

#3. How did a felon in jail get a gun? Even if ex- wifey brought it to him, how did it make it thru hospital security?

Rich, arrogant, Narcissist assholes believe their money gives them a form of entitlement. I can believe he stole wifey away, but why adopt the daughter? I am sure at some point, he would have just dumped the two of them. Getting wifey to rape husband in the divorce, and get primary custody of the daughter, should have been enough for “ dickless”. Going after the husband and trying to kill him, didn’t make any sense. And wifey was screwing the tub of lard for 18 months, so how was his small dick a surprise? I gave it a 4. Liked the story line, but didn’t believe the facts.

I found some of the relationship between Terry and the twins to be too sugary sweet (and in fact calling the girls Melody and Harmony was just too 'cutesie' for me) but I've just finished reading all the way to the end - for the second time. So, overall, I thought it was a fine story with just the right resolution between Terry and Mackenzie. I also thought you were right to allude to the events that happened after the end of the story rather than spelling out every detail. Too many LW readers seem to feel a story isn't complete until they are spoon fed every last act. Sometimes it's good to finish the story when the author feels he has said all he/she wants to. So, despite my criticisms above, an outstanding story, well told. Good on yer, mate.

Excellent story! Couldn't put it down... Yes, some parts were a little sappy, and some a little overcooked, but I enjoyed it very much and gave it a solid 5 stars!

Having, finally, read all 5 parts togrther, I will give the story 4 stars, for the following reasons.

1). In Part 1, Mackenzie is spelt in several different ways.

2). In the court room divorce scene, Terry Other becomes John (his father) in fact the judge allowes the divorce between John Other and Carol Other, which means the divorce is not legal as the wrong man is listed. Also Carol becomes a Ms and Mackenzie a Mrs, then in the next sentence revert to their correct titles.

3). Delotiz is spelt several different ways.

5). In Part three, Mackenzie gives her full name as Mackenzie Rossie Oth... Morrison, yet in Part 5 Carol calls her Mackenzie Grace, Is she Mackenzie Rossie or Mackenzie Grace. In addition in Part 5 Martha becomes Mattha.

6). All in all it was a good story, unfortunately the author seemed to like using five or six words where he could use two. The dialogue appeared stilted and he still has not got the difference between you're/your, lay/lie etc.

7). Now a constructive suggestion, when you write a story with multiple people, have a small note book and on each page give the full name of the person, their age, physical characteristics, likes and dislike and as much information about them as you can and update it as you go along. There is nothing worse then a writer who describes a person as bolnde in one part then brunette later on, or who calles a person Mackenzie Rossie at the begining and Mackenzie Grace at the end. This to me is the result of a sloppy mind, who thinks he can remember everything he has written.

8). No I do not have a Literotica profile, I write Non-Fiction articles under various by-lines and names and find that as I am used to getting over information clearly and quickly, due to having a word count to stick to, I find the dialoge I write does not sound normal and I tend to use as few words as possible in dialogue and descriptions.

Good luck though to all those that can write interesting stories.

Someone complaining that they liked the storyline but didn’t like the facts. It’s fiction, get over it.

it was a bit of a stretch in some places and downright silly and absurd in others but overall, a pretty decent story.

Although, I think I would end it here and not write that Part 6 of the untold story from the letter. A violent offender would never have been let out on work release especially so soon after being sentenced and at a hospital around narcotics.

I would just put this story to bed as it is, improve the weak points and highlight the high points for future stories.

This was a good BTB story only the the B did it to herself! As for the very long comment by the anon, eh! So what. Of course some of the situations and reactions by the protagonists may seem a bit over the top but then again if you look around a lot of people in real life do exhibit some or all of the characteristics shown by over the top doctor and his cheating mistress. A good ending with our wronged husband being a good guy and coming out with a life that anyone could be jealous of. Good story.

A good story. A bit drawn out, but well written nonetheless. Glad to see Terry and Mackenzie reconnect.

I like the previous anonymous, write the occasional non-fiction article. As such I spot spelling mistakes and typos quickly, because I have to ensure 100% accuracy in what I write. If I get things wrong, first of all work will dry up as who wants to print error prone articles and secondly, I could leave myself open to legal action. While writers of Literotica don't have these problems, there is nothing worse than seeing someones name spelt differently throughout the story. My suggestion, when you have decided on a name and it is not in your spell checker, right click on it and click Add To Dictionary. That way every time you enter the name you will be informed if you spelling is wrong.

thanks for writing all this. I read it all, emotional story.

Thank you for writing a wonderful heart warming story

I was hoping for a recon between father and daughter. Maybe a little too much with marrying twins and normally I dont expect surgeons to act that way. I feel bad for Carol, but she got what she deserved

First of All!!!

Congrats on a GREAT series. I am really not a fan of LW stories, and I came upon this story as a suggestion from a non-LW story but with mild LW leanings. Coercion, deceit, cheating, and the like are pet-peeves of mine, so I usually avoid stories that contain those themes. But for some reason this story caught my attention and I gave it a try when you said you wanted to a LW in a little bit different way. Well... In my Humble Opinion it worked and worked marvelously. I was enthralled from the beginning and while I Can't say I bawled like a baby at some points, I won't Lie and say it wasn't a near thing and as Kim said the pollen was affecting my allergies. I want to thank you for your story and sharing it with on here on Lit and hope those that find this series will give it a try like I did and enjoy it just as much. (I don't think it could be more).

An excellent read!

Thank you

Very good.

I seldom comment on stories. Having said that, Excellent story!

Lived the story, well done. One problem ... A master plumber is in the top 10 percent of incomes in Australia. (Just googled it). Doctors do well everywhere but tradesman do just as well and often better. They do not have 12 years of school debt. And the massive expenses of being a high status professional. Readcthe book millionaire next door to understand wealth better. Good work l hope you keep producing more works

Reading this story was with joy and sadness, and definitely some tears. 5 all the way. You have a unique ability to grasp the reader and continue to hold the attention to the end.

I liked this story very much. Carol was a royal bitch. The daughter wasn't much better, yes she was lied to. However with a good father like Terry, turning her back on Terry and going for the gold, made her betrayijust as bad.

As a firm believer in being with only one woman at one time, the relationship with the twins gave me a little problem. However their status as identical twins made me think of them both as two halves of one whole. They both together made Terry one hell of a wife.

I like a happy ending, but would have been more powerful if Carol hadn't been made out to be such a joke. She's so devoid of any positive attribute that she becomes a combination of a clown and a cardboard villain. Can't really enjoy her comeuppance when she comes across as mentally challenged most of the time. Mackenzie feels a little more well-rounded here (even though she was pretty one-note in the earlier chapters), and the reconciliation is handled well, but constantly distracted by Carol's antics, which don't add much to the story at this point.

Also, the constant fawning over Terry's sexual prowess gets a little gratuitous for me. We get it, he landed on his feet, got married to two smoking hot twins, and his ex-wife's new marriage blew up because she kept fantasizing aloud about him in her sleep. Ticks off all the boxes in the fantasy redemption arc. After all that, continuing to rave about his huge schlong and how his new wives orgasm so hard that they squirt onto the ceiling makes it sound comical. Almost like the protagonist is writing the story himself and compensating for something.

Overall, there's definitely good writing here. But I think the stories could be a lot better if you didn't puff up your protagonist so much and trash the offending parties to the point of hilarity. Less black and white could significantly help a grounded treatment. Or keep the ridiculousness, but dial it up all across the board so it's clear that it's just a wacky story. The combination of cartoon characters and a serious story is always a tough task to pull off. Good luck with upcoming projects.

Well kinda long annd the ending made no sense as a whole chapter was missing.

As for the two wives and his big dick that was also dumb and a male fantasy.

Yes he is rich and successful but only because his wives parents were rich.

As fo Carol she obviously still loved him but he never fought for he during the divorce. After they reconnected she was miserable and new she had screw up but couldn’t admit it. After she chewed him out at the birthday party he should have ripped of her dress put her over his lap and spanked her until she couldn’t sit down. Then I think she would have realized and apologized. At least if I wrote the story that’s what would have happened.

As for the daughter no matter what a daughter is his flesh and blood and you do whatever is necessary to be there for her no matter the past.

With some changes I would give it a five but as is it’s a three,

Tra, how is it rude that brooks thinks that his stories are a good read? He SHOULD think so! It would be rude if he DIDN'T think so.

This wonderfully written story was full of drama and emotion. The storyline from start to finish was excellent and I as a reader found it very entertaining and emotional. Terry in the storyline was a strong character that survived the worst betrayal of his life, yet he rose above it all and in the end he had two wonderful wives with their 4 children plus Mackenzie that gave him everything he wanted from a family. The additional bonus for Terry was the reconciliation between him and his daughter Mackenzie when he had saved her from dying from cancer. In the end the two villains in the story Carol and Dr. Dickhead both got their just dues, Carol got to live the rest of her live being the outcast and shunned from the whole family and Dr. Dickhead dying was true karma. Well done other2other1 with the completion of this great story. 5++ stars

Not knowing how Terry and the girls were assaulted by Carol and dickhead ruins the ending.

Loved it and I seldom comment on anything on here, keep up the good work

5 star story end to end. Only real complaint was just how cartoonishly evil the ex-wife was but a minor complaint at best, some people are complete self centered narcissists. Half expected there would be some plan revealed by her that her attempts to destroy her ex-husband was to hold onto him, make him reliant on her so she gets her cake and eats it too, has the new rich high status to give her the life she deserves and the low status stud to rock her world. Kinda liked the bit towards the end with the letter detailing a story we never saw, don't need to see it to see the impact it had on the characters we've grown to know. Great story.

Your protagonist is good man with kind heart who fits into the whole 'nice guy label' and he needed to reconnect with Mackenzie, she screwed up but she was a child and he would always have an emptiness inside him without her. Carol was a crappy person but there are people like that out there, both male and female and there more common then most people realize. Terry's sexual prowess got old but the story was so interesting it was easy to overlook. Coupling with both twins was a bit much but they were good characters as was the sister. Overall great story - 5 stars

A very powerful,emontial story. A real cracker jack of a yarn. Looking forward to more like this!

Thank you for a great story, With an ending that fit very well. (Something that doesn't happen all the time here). Looking forward to the others you mentioned in your final note.

Thanks again.

Phew! it was a tad long it was a struggle to keep reading, I didn't feel it was quite as 'dynamic' as many other stories I've read on Literotica.

I just had to come back to this story after so long. It was an incredible journey on how to appreciate what you have instead of what you want, and that giving love is more important than what you receive. I’m so glad that I came back to read

An epic story! I enjoyed it!

A story has not gripped my attention this much in a long while....throughly enjoyed it

WONDERFUL SERIES! 10 STARS IS NOT QUITE ENOUGH. With Carol being an entitled bitch, maybe you could write another chapter where she finally becomes a real loving person, to her grandson and even Terry's kids. Please write more stories, you have a rare gift!

I enjoyed it immensely! Thank you!!!! Take care

I really enjoyed this story except for your quick finish at the end. You should have either finished it after the birthday party or written another chapter for what happened after that. The ending was too rushed and jumbled but all the rest was very very good and many man's fantasy. Like most of your work, well done

Truly an amazing story. Well done, I really enjoyed it.

Good series. Lots of twist and turns. Excited to see what else you have written. Keep it up.

I really enjoyed your story. The editors could have done a better job. It didn’t take long to figure out you are an Aussie. That makes thing clear since Englist isn’t the 1st language down-under. Really though, I wish you’d have told us about the attack. On our hero’s. Good job

Totally enjoyed reading all the stories the ups and downs emotions so real and raw. Literally had to stop as crying to much to see the writing lol. Awesome fantastic read can’t wait for more🤟

5* +++outstanding

I loved this story but didn't love the letter at the end. Without part 6, it was out of place. Why the dickhead was allowed to do work release at a hospital, I couldn't fathom. He committed his crime in a hospital. He should have been given duty in a landfill.

Great story well written good ending could not put down

I just finished this story, and it has been in my favorites for a long time. 6 stars, The Bear definitely approved. I loved it. I am sorry it took so long to finish reading. I'm only sorry that there was not more bloodshed on the dickhead. I asked Mrs. Bear if I could have had two stunning wives. She said no, I would just hurt myself. Also, she's Italian and has several 'connected' relatives. Enough said. Looking forward to more from you.

The BEAR

Agree with many other comments. Haven’t read all of them, however. I realize this story took a lot of time and effort and it was generally a good read. But the end letter was out of fairy land. How did a convict on work detail get to work in a hospital since he was no longer a physician and nearly murdered Terry in a hospital? How did he know who would be in that hospital, his ex wife? How did he get a gun? In Australia it’s impossible to get a handgun permit. Of course, criminals can get guns but even for them, it’s not easy. What about the corrections officers — wouldn’t they have been able to stop dickhead? Also, if Carol set up an attempted murder, she should have been charged. And speaking of guns, Terry’s birthday present does not ring true. Even a hunting rifle permit is nearly impossible to get in Australia, and certainly, Harmony and Melody would not have been able to buy Terry a rifle for his birthday. Australia has no second amendment. Terry is too good a person. After all the bullshit he had to swallow from Carol, again and again, it is inconceivable he would have taken further grief again and again as in your story. I realize it’s just a story and it can go however the author wishes, but it should be at least somewhat believable. Thanks for writing.

I still love this story. I have read it many times. I found a continuity error of you will. When Terry asked his daughter what her name was, she eventually said Makenzie Rossie Morrison. When her Mother got mad at her she yelled Makenzie Grace Brown. Last name change is explained middle name is not.

Very long read for Literotica LW, but well worth it. It brought out an emotional response several times through the 5 part series which is the goal of any artist, whether it is thru words, photos, paintings, etc. Good Job. I anticipate many more quality stories from this author.

Loved the whole story!

John! I think your epic would be called a "crackin' good yarn". I actually was married to someone who unfortunately was a lot like Carol; and it brought back some bad memories that I now can laugh at as I am now a good place and happily married for 16 years.

Be well and happy!

Paul

My second time reading this very long story. I can identify with our man Terry. My first marriage was ok or so I thought. She was 19 with a 2 year old daughter. I was inexperienced ex GI at 25 six years her senior. Somehow she pregnant, (dummy me) married her. We had another girl. The marriage lasted 13 years she wanted to go out and look around left the girls with me. I remarried a good woman with 4 kids, loved them all. The ex had to break that up and took my daughters. Haven't talked to them in 40 years. To late know but it still hurts. The four my second wife brought are all grown and great kids. As read before the only steps in this house are to ones to second floor. As soon as married them the kids became mine, period. good story and my kudos to the author and editors....................

4* Two things I didn't like with this story:

1. How did Stephen give his interview with the police after the murder attempt? He had a broken jaw that was wired shut, bit off part of his tongue, etc. There's no way, even with a written interview, that it would have sounded so much like a natural conversation.

2. The Epilogue was just contrived. Again, the ex does something horrible, and she doesn't really pay for it. Yes, her life is miserable, but considering that you killed off the ex-doctor after apparently really injuring the wives, she deserves something far worse. That entire mentioned assault is just stupid, especially when our hero says "maybe I'll write you again when I'm not angry". She tried to KILL THEM, and he's playing nice? Ugh.

Absolutely love it Mr Other BUT please write about the almost killing of Terry Mackenzie and the wives I have read over 1200 stories of loving wives (all of saddletramps and a few "others"lol" )Keep up the good work

I loved the story right up until the end. I think you need part 6 to explain what happened. An accident and shooting?

I truly enjoyed your story. Looking forward to reading the others

one of the best loving wives tales that I have read in the past year. This story had everything from betrayal and pain, to reconciliation and regret.

I get what you mean about leaving the tale there, and I get you're writing other stories now, but I would love to see part 6 from you. Or has any other authors approached you to write as you hinted?

Great story hope you write the stories that you mentioned soon. You are a good writer keep writing your stories.

Well,that was quite a journey!

First off, anyone with brains would have ensured that Dickhead would be killed in prison by one of the lifers! Cigarette cartons go along way in prison. Secondly, Mackenzie should never have been let back into his family. When Mackenzie agreed to be adopted by Dickhead, she ceased to be an Other! Mackenzie wanted Dickheads money.

5*

Because I am sucker for happy endings and reconciliation but also well written and kept entertained throughout.

I find the love of two women and the acceptance of their parents a bit unbelievable but hey it's a story and we are are allowed to suspend disbelief.

Also good to have Australian authors set in Australia.

Great story, with lovable and hated characters both.

Seem to have lost my login details hence anonymous post.

Thoroughly enjoyed all 5 chapters. Loved the polygamy parts, funny and entertaining.

Don't think the epilogue was necessary, as it left too many unanswered questions.

Ending was a little rushed/ compressed, but still 5.

Great story, I really enjoyed Mackenzie's redemption. The epilogue didn't need the whole escaped prisoner thing. Just the letter and pictures, with Carla knowing that she had lost all family connection and realizing its all her own fault would have been a cleaner ending.

To: John Other

Subject: You're an asshole!!

I caught one of your other stories and liked the writing style so I checked out your library. There was this 5 part series, but the first was 3 pages. So I figured about a doze pages for the story, no big deal? WRONG!! Holy crap! I started reading and the story quickly got drawn in. Then each section got even bigger. I seriously underestimated the time commitment to go through this series. Took a couple of days of my reading time to make it through the entire story. I probably would not have started the series if I had realized how massive it was. It was one hell of ride. Thoroughly enjoyed this series and will be one of my favorites on this site.

I keep rereading this and finding more to comment on.

My one slight dislike is the polygamy. However, I was able to look pst it by thinking of them as two women out of one egg. Their names Harmony and Melody are compliments to each other. In music, melody and harmony make the whole better.

Mackenzie also made a statement that her dad has so much love that he needs two wives so some of his love didn't escape.

Terryific

Well it's over. Substantially better than average writing skills. The openning Chapter, several of the courtroom scenes, the accident when Terry meets the twins, were suspenseful but they were too few and far between the tedious, repetitive, unimaginative, fairytale storyline. An over abundance of trivial dialogue. The same characters behaving the same way over and over. Was I the only one that got tired of, then utterly bored with Carol's rants, Stephen's self obsessed stupidity, the cutesy twins and their inane dialogue, Saint Terry of the Endless Patience and Prodigious Penis, etc?

This was a fantastic book; a read I simply could not put down!

You seem a humble and kind man and you worked so hard to bring us this story.

Moreover, against the background of some of the painful events in your life, you had the courage to shre that, though your story,

With us, your readers.

I have no words to express my gratitude for the gift of this story.

I am in the process of trying to write a book of a story that has been in my mind for 5 yes. Many parts include real, and VERY, painful events from my life as well as others. The story is fiction but the factual elements are a critical part of the stories fabric.

This is a first effort at writing and am finding it a daunting task! The more so in that I have, likely, less than 3 years to live.

I'll do the best I can but, in all likelihood, will have to give it to another and trust them to see it through.

I gave an account and a,tag, Highcountryrider, but LE computer won't recognize it. Why, I don't know.

Smittyred2@yahoo.com

Overly long, too sweet, mind numbing repetition but with all that said, I enjoyed it.

No criticism. I loved the story and to those who say it’s too long, I prefer the long ones. I like that you could develop the characters and work the plot lines. Great job.

That was a very long and boring story.

I don't comment often, usually just give stars. I read Literotica mostly for those stories that catch you and pull you in. Most the time the readers have to wade through a bit of muck to find a story that grabs them. You did a very good job of developing the characters and relationships. I kinda wanted to quit when you made the Mackenzie Morrison character evil, that's my beautiful daughters name, but you brought it around. There's only a few series that get me to read the whole thing in two days. L. Morrison.

dr fuckwit was in prison and not likely to get out for decades , yet in the prologue he was out and tries to kill the happy throuple ?

some steps seem to be missing and inconsistent .

Loved the story

Yes, it took two days to read, but I ' couldn't put it down', as they say. You do realize it would make a great movie. Now, most of your good Austraian actors, male and female are here in America, you could probably get by with a a mixed cast, but regardless, it's where the money comes from, right? Anyway, You have done yourself proud. It's a powerful piece, sexy, nasty, tender, loving, and dozens of OTHER adjectives describing a well thought out series of events that keeps your reader on the edge of their seat thru most of the read. Well done. Keep writing..

XYZ

Funny & sad, well written even with the few errors. 5* read well done. To the detractors, if it's long and boring why read it. My only thought was you spoilt the storyline with the final letter, should have left well enough alone, but that aside from your mind to these pages, nice.

Just finished reading the entire story the second time, after about a week or so. I left some earlier comments about the typos and grammar, so no need to repeat that here.

Overall a compelling and emotional story, if a little over the top with Carol and Dickhead being moustache-twirling villains pretty much all of the time, even to their own obvious detriment. I guess it would have made the story a whole lot more complicated and certainly much longer had you made them more nuanced.

In my opinion (and I might well be alone in this), I could have done without the Epilogue. If you do decide to go back and flesh out that part of the story, I'll certainly want to read it, but again, it takes it further into the unlikely and fantastical, that they would AGAIN somehow run into Dickhead, and he would have the means and opportunity to attack everyone again.

My main gripe with it, though, is that probably the largest aspect to this story is about Mackenzie's redemption. Redemption stories are usually good reads, especially when they are so well-written, but in this case it seems that (FINALLY!!) Carol has come to realize and accept that the whole disaster her life became was her own doing and she appears to be genuinely remorseful at the very end. This being the case, it might have been nice to see her get a tiny sliver of a reconnection with her daughter and have something of a relationship with her grandchild. I suppose that still might be possible a few more years down the line, but you left it pretty cut and dried that no at all one cared about her. Maybe it's just my interpretation, but that seemed to be too much of a sad and depressing way to end the story, especially after the positive note it ended on prior to the Epilogue.

Anyway, just my 2 cents, as they say. I'd love to hear your thoughts as to why you decided to take that turn with the ending.

Looking forward to reading some more of your work!

-T-

Thank you..really enjoyed the story and the characters. Really would have liked more information about what happened at the hospital in the epilogue..

I love a lot of things about this story, but really feel that the TWINS! angle is entirely unnecessary, distracting to the plot, and as a result the series is not as strong as it otherwise could have been.

I think the same emotional impact and story arc could have been achieved had the twins been replaced with a mother and daughter who he rescued from the car and then developed a loving husband/ dutiful stepfather relationship with. In fact, I think that would have had the potential for even more emotional impact, as the juxtaposition of the thriving relationship with his step-daughter and his strained relationship with his estranged daughter would be a source of additional drama to fuel the story.

Ultimately, it is your story to tell, and I get that there is a lovely prurient thrill of including a TWINS! love angle. But unless it actually feeds the story narratively and/or emotionally, it's not worth it imho.

Unpopular opinion but his daughter got off way too easily. Spare me the "being a minor" shit. She was old enough to have reasoning and common sense, she chose to for go them. Live with the consequences of your actions

This was an incredible story! I just finished reading it in just a few hours because I was so hooked.

I am personally glad that Mackenzie reconciled with her father, I have a dear friend who's dying from cancer, and just hearing Mackenzie surviving it, fills me with joy.

Whilst I have to say that Carol's fate is entirely deserved, I can't help but feel pity for her. And it does seems she shows remorse towards the end.

However I am bit more curious as to why Carol turned out the way she did. As student of psychology I try to understand how other people think and what shapes them.

But I do suspect it is because Carol became a mother and wife at such a young age, and she seemed to be more of the wild, outgoing, opinionated type to begin with. Someone who focuses only on image and status, how wants to have fun.

And so because she became pregnant at the age of 18, I think she feels that family robbed her of the freedom and the life she could've had. When you're 18 you're finally an adult, you have so much hope and opportunity for the future.

But with Carol, she lost a lot of opportunity, because when you become a mother and wife, it really limits your world to your family. I think Carol would have been happier if she had not gotten married so young and just gotten out to see the world for herself and not become so dependant on others fro her own happiness.

It is a shame to see life wasted in such a way.

I feel a little sorry for Carol at the end. Not that she didn't get what she deserved, but you still can't help but pity her for loosing everything, especially when she is sorry at the end.

Thanks.

Good story, labored through it. Grammar: even in Australia “myself” requires a reflexive verb; “I” is a noun and so it requires a verb, etc.

I enjoyed this story but found it hard to believe the ménage a trois that Terry ended up in. I just cant see the three of them being happy and not constantly arguing. Otherwise a good story

Awesome, yes it made me cry.

I loved the entire story but you should have either written a chapter on n the glossing over of the hospital and the Dr dying or left it out. It messed up the ending of the story and left it in an unfinished state. I do however seem to reading this story a while back and seem to remember an entire story line on how the wives were hurt in the hospital and Dr. Died. I don't remember exactly all of the events but you should write it to give a good story a great finish