All Comments on 'Dream Becomes Reality Ch. 01'

Is English your first language? After reading this story, I'd have to say no. There were way too many awkward phrases ( " ....I saw a very familiar person having the meal". "I was tired after visiting to some apartments". etc) I actually laughed out loud when the teenage character said the word "spectacles" . Who is he, Ben Franklin? Please consider getting an editor for future chapters.

Give him a break...the author was motivated in math by a hot teacher...not English.

Ignore the nay sayer and keep going with this story. Sort interesred to see if he rights the ship

Looking forward to more, a good length for a story is about six pages per chapter,some go more,some less. Practice, will help you improve.

NorthPacific

English is my first language and I did not find the story lacking in any way. The change of tack at the end seemed slightly out of character but otherwise interesting. I would like to see where it goes from here.

You know what they say: You snooze, you loose.

It is very good, please don't leave us in the dark and keep it going. Want to find out what happens

I keep on checking hoping you’ve posted a second chapter, that’s how good you got me. Thanks for the work!

Good start to your story.

I agree with Sex4lf57, but even more so. A lot of the grammar irregularities. Definitely seems like English is your second language (or maybe third). Get an editor. That said, the story itself is excellent except that the narrator, a courteous and caring gentleman suddenly becomes an asshole to the woman he loves. Not totally unrealistic, but itis a reversal for the character. A little explanation might be in order.