All Comments on 'Dream Girl'

I did not get it till the end, I can't wait for the next part

This story is very well written. Dream Girl is some of the best short story lesbian erotica I have read recently. Great characters that I was invested in. Ending is a bit of a downer, not something that I really want in my erotic fantasies. Vegetable use in sex not really a kink of mine, but this was well written and thankfully short. I would like to read more about Des and Paige's earlier years, especially the development of their relationship and how they went from BFFs to lovers.

I figured out what was happening quite close to the beginning, but it still surprised/shocked me when I got to the bit where it became clear. It’s a sad piece, but extremely well written for what it is. I absolutely adore your writing style, and the story is a good one.

I’m confused on whether or not I like the story. I think the fact that I was stil shocked even though I knew what was going on, shows how encaptivate your words and writing are. But the sadness of it throws me off a bit. All in all, a good piece. Thanks for sharing it.

but still it hurts. if there's part two of this as you state on hurdling the obstacles. please give us a sweet and happy ending.thank you AwkwardMD(cinder).

And I don't think there's more to say.

Thank you.

I kind of had that sinking feeling in my gut that that was going to be the surprise ending. Very poignant and heartbreaking. 😭

To all,

Dream Girl definitely tries to tell the reader thar something is wrong, and that Des is in denial. I tried to skirt the line as close as possible between having Des pretending nothing was wrong withing makong it appear like nothing was actually wrong.

I wanted that dissonance. I wanted that nagging discomfort even while Des and Paige were in the throes of it.

Wrenching and very sensual. The characters come alive quickly and distinctly. The sex is perfectly judged and deliciously hot. There are some nice turns of phrase and descriptions. I really liked this one.

Beautiful. Erotic. Wonderfully hot.

But most importantly: a heart breaking tale that even got this old cynic feeling loss at the end. Thanks for this.

""Hey," she typed into her phone. "I know you won't be able to respond to this, but I just got done with a woman whose ass looks JUST LIKE YOURS. Hers was not so firm as yours, but it still took all of my formidable will to not spread her legs right there on my table and lick her..."

"...lick her ass for the full hour. Every time I looked at her, all I could see was you. I think she could smell how turned on I was."

You must be of the generation that needs to memorialize every thought and action in texts or on social media. No intelligent, mature person would write such things for posterity. Ever hear the saying, "Say it, forget it - write it, regret it"? Does it never occur to people like you who do this that it might come back to bite them in the ass one day? If there's anything you don't want to world ( your employers, co-workers, family) to know about you, keep it fucking private! Even someone in a relationship with you might one day wish to embarass you, get even with you, or wreck a new relationship. Sorry, I can't identify with this type of juvenile recklessness. And licking the asses of strangers? Yeah, cuz fecal matter is hot. Eww.

First of all, I'm not of that generation. I'm a Gen X'er, but it makes me feel good knowing that I wrote a millennial well enough that you assumed I had to be one.

Second of all, not all relationships thrive on hiding our desires from our significant others. Some of us can share private thoughts with those we trust without fearing it being thrown back in our faces, and this particular story has a catch-all twist that nullifies any actual consequences. Way to miss the boat.

Third of all, I do not expect every reader to share my links, but I am actually sorry that you were unable to enjoy Dream Girl for that reason. That being said, you should probably never read anything of mine again because a little theoretical timing is the least of the kinks I explore.

Theoretical rimming*

For me your portrait of a shattered mind was done with intimacy. It was strangely done with compassion and love, it was beautiful. Thank you

The way the picture you paint slowly comes into focus is exquisite torture. I wish I could read your published, works if any. Gotta dry my eyes now.

This story is written so well, I didn't realize until the end that Paige had died and only after re reading the story I could see the sadness behind Des' memories. You have an excellent gift of carving and weaving emotions into your narrations. Great job!

Affects everyone differently, but the emotions here and in Derelict 006 rang true for me. I lost my partner 10 years ago. We had 16 incredible and intense years together,and I know what the pain of losing her did to me. Grief is a form of insanity when your brain is caught between reality and your hearts desire for a different reality. Whichever of your stories I read next, I hope like hell it has a different theme. You're a talented and interesting writer but that's also why I hurt so much right now

At first I was like “well this is nice”

Then I was like “oh this is really nice”

Then I was like “oh no no no no no no”

And now my heart is broken.

ouch. i knew ths one is coming but i kept on readng til d end nd it hurts.

A fabulous story.

At first I tought this was a short feel-good story and that there were different timelines. Then I got to were Des tried to actively fall asleep and was like 'oh no, please don't be dead'. Then I noticed my display being wet. Emotions aside I love reading stories that can be read in a completely different way when you get more input down the line, like 'wait a minute, this wasn't real all along?'. Thanks for sharing.

Just for the success for being someone for being a number one and there must be somebody older, a trainer a coach or else, to organise all this soping bullshit and then a young being, girl or boy, is have to carry this bullshit in her or his soul ...... Just to be some kind of winner , but what about the future and the burnt souls ....... This is sad truth ...... Thank you AwkwardMD touching such delicate stuff 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖🍀

It’s that dread and shock all over again. It’s reading Odd Thomas and discovering Stormy is actually dead. What an excellent, beautiful read. Thanks for the tug at my heartstrings and tears down my face. Superb.

I should hate the author for tearing my heart out but the characters are stunning.

I hate you, but also I don't. This is beautiful, and I know part of reason this is so good is that its short and a one off, I cant help hoping for a sequel because the characters are just amazing.

Das Ende ist scheiße, ja!

-

Hallo AwkwardMD!

-

Keine Frage, Sie sind ein sehr guter Autor! ...Allerdings kann ich nicht viel über die Wahl des Endes sagen. ... Wie auch immer, vielen Dank und noch 5 Sterne!

-

Die Black Queen 👩🏿 und Gay Kat 👩🏼‍!

💋 💋 💋

Read again; did not comment first time. Troubling, painfully poignant piece with heartfelt closing moment that Paige would love. Beyond tearful with a smile. Know this comment comes late but compelled to share. You are a creative writer.

Absolutely fucking heartbreaking