All Comments on 'Dream Girl'

Moved a little too quickly.

An okay read. If you keep it up I'm sure you can pump out something else that's pretty good. Only thing I didn't like was the spelling of the name Mackenzie. Just kept getting in the way of the entire story. You can choose any spelling you want but it bothered me.

that's how her name is spelled in reality , so no use changing it.

but thanks for reading my story......

Loved it particularly the last few paragraphs. I love a bit of fun with my sex. I also want to know what happens after dinner. Great fun. Some readers are so picky.

I really liked the story, the end surprises, and I think that your depiction of the scene was fantastic. Congrats for such a great job and thanks for publishing!

thanks, guys I appreciate your time thanks for reading my story.