Dreams of Her

"The night continued in the warm water, we'd occasionally feel some vibration, some faint hint that She was enjoying our worship. Even the slightest clue was orgasmic to us. A sign from our deity that we were good. We were Her good things. She pulled Her body forward through the water, and let my head come loose from Her thighs. She pulled me up again to Her breast, and as the sun rose outside the shrine I woke up wishing that I could return."

The Agent's voice was coarse now as he said, "End Note H," and stopped the recording. He popped the tape out, scribbled down "Case JT Notes A-H" on the label. He stood up and stretched his arms to touch the ceiling. The fluorescent light tickled the tips of his fingers, and he yawned. The blinds on his window were raised, giving him a clear view of the cafeteria outside his office. It wasn't late into the evening, but he preferred work at night. As such, there were only a couple of folks sitting at the tables. He knew them all, he'd been here long enough to know what they were eating on a day like this. "Cosco taquitos again." He pointed at a large man on the other side of the room. He squinted but couldn't confirm his guess.

He sat back in his chair, taking a moment to rehydrate. He took a long breath and put another cassette into the recorder. Not to play it yet, but to have it ready. A few minutes passed with only the hum of conversation outside and the clock to keep him occupied. It was enough, and he continued his work.

He pressed record and spoke:

"Recordings I through K were found in at the easternmost point of the Eagle Mountains, along with the canteen noted in the original description of the unidentified person. Canteen was noted to be internally lined with a pale residue; laboratory analysis ongoing."

The agent coughed. His glass was empty, and he swiveled around to pull a bottle out from the minifridge behind him. He cracked it open and drank until his throat felt better.

"The following is a recording of Note I."

"I went to Joshua Tree - I packed my bags and prepared for a long journey. I didn't know how long I'd be staying here, or how many nights I'd have to dream. I thought I was crazy for doing this. I thought, frankly, that if I went out here - tried all this - that I'd starve or get lost out in the middle of the desert. Or that nothing would happen. But it's so close to home, I figured I should try it. I know I've been out here for five days now, patiently waiting to fall asleep every night. Every night I'm blessed by that same image. I've been able to please Her every night when I dream. She's told me to do so much, but I have never heard Her speak since the second time we met. She will bind me with a look, the chains wrapped around my wrists and legs and make me bow like all the others. There are no words that need to be shared, because I know what I need to do for Her. The feeling of the reddest, smoothest skin, or pert and plush flesh, or caressing hands - that reinforces it. Plays with my mind like it's clay to be molded.

"I know it's clay, and She is the most beautiful artist I could imagine. I want Her to reshape me.

"I used to wonder what this all was, if it was just a dream, or perhaps something real. I woke up this morning, and I know now the truth. It is real. All across my body, my skin was imprinted, marked by bites and ropes and chains. My lips were wet with a fluid which I knew was Hers. It was in my mouth, on my tongue - sweeter than cereal milk.

"I - this will seem strange to anyone. I knew then that the wandering, the dreaming, Her - all this - it was real. It is real. It is potent, it nurtures me, fulfills me, I am full, and I can wander forever looking for Her. Somewhere out here She is waiting."

"End Note I. The following is a recording of note J."

"This morning I got my leg caught between two rocks. I was so tired, but I got so much sleep, so much rest. Someone saw me, but they couldn't reach me. I couldn't do much more than to yell for help. I don't know why I thought that She wouldn't save me.

"I remember passing out, and I was there again. At her feet. She wouldn't look at me. She wouldn't let me do anything but wait. It was punishment. I had doubted. For an instant I doubted. So for an eternity I would wait, patiently. I would do anything, just to get one step closer. But I couldn't do that - She would not let me

"I could've defied Her, taken one tiny inch forward - try her boundary. And I did. I pushed past the line I'd already crossed. She turned and looked at me. Where before She looked at me for seconds only, now Her eyes burned through my soul. The pleasure was unrecountable. Every organ I had was lit on fire with joy. Past the point of orgasm, past the point of burning, past the point of blanking out from overstimulation. I was clay in her hands, and she melted me down and massaged every atom of my being into a state of impossible bliss.

"I could only cry and gasp - I could only try to gasp. My throat wasn't mine; it was Hers. She didn't want me to gasp until she was done with me. I don't remember how long it felt.

"As it ended, She smiled down at me, holding me, cradling me. Her eyes still locked in mine. I tensed and spasmed in her arms. She still held me tightly, close to Her breast and face. Without words I knew what she said to me - I had learned my lesson. I was Her thing, and She decided what was done with me. I didn't need to doubt Her, because She would always be there for me."

"I couldn't do anything but smile in bliss. I had done it, I survived, and now I got to spend every dreaming moment pleasuring Her. I loved knowing that I was a possession of Hers, that I was broken and remade into Hers. That I got to spend eternity serving Her."

The agent stretched his arm, clicked pause, flipped the page, and un-paused the recorder,

"End Note J. The following is a recording of note K."

"When I woke up again, I looked down and the rock that I was snagged in was gone. The person who'd come to help me - they were gone, I think they ran to their car. Maybe they're running for help. I thought I saw them, but maybe they didn't see me. It didn't matter.

"I ran from them. They probably thought I'd seem crazy. I decided to leave these notes. You know I sound crazy. If you find me I'll come back and do this again. But I know you'll look for me."

The agent continued, pausing the recorder, setting the papers down, picking up the next, and pressing play,

"End Note K. Notes L through N were found at the site of the Class A. The following is a reading of Note L."

"As I fell asleep last night, I looked up at the desert stars. I wondered what world She was from. As I fell asleep and inhaled Her scent, I knew for certain that the pleasures I felt were beyond any I could know. Someone like me needed to be trained. Like a dog, or a puppy. Her dog, Her puppy.

"I was at Her breast again, Her nipple hard against my tongue as I rolled around it, flicking up and down and suckling. I rubbed the smooth underside of my muscle across the bud. I could occasionally feel some slight vibration from Her. I wondered how many places She was at once - how many dreams She lived in.

"My mind tried to put together the thought - the pleasure that I, and all the others serving Her could give. It wouldn't equal in a day what She could wreak upon me in an instant. It didn't equal anything of the joy, the ecstasy that I got from worshipping Her. It was a red, pulsing joy. She wrapped Her arm around my body. I didn't know which arm it was, but that didn't matter. Every arm in this place was ultimately Hers.

"Looking at the breast in my mouth, I tried to open my lips wider, take more of it in, submit further, let it gag me. I didn't want to think anymore, I was to obey, to suck - that was the command - suck. Time passed. She moved me, it was no longer my turn. My mouth was still held wide, my lips were still plush and moist. But someone else needed to work there. She put my face on Her back and told me to kiss Her up and down.

"She was relaxing in a bath of kisses from me - from all of us - I didn't stop kissing, just going up and down until She moved me to Her ass. She stretched Her body forward, laying down on the pool, with a pillow to hold Her head up. The pillow was held up by a couple below the water. They were pleasing each other while they elevated Her. I could feel their pleasure - so could She. It was all Her pleasure, and I loved any pleasure She had.

"My duty was to kiss, to massage, and put my face against her ass. Just the cushion, there was another whose face was buried deeper. They did nothing but moan and lick and push. They must have been altered by their time serving Her. For when their turn was done, their tongue stretched out, just as I had seen many nights before. It was smooth, long - perfectly designed to please another.

"Massaging her, all of my body was in bliss, servile bliss. I looked out the door to the shrine, but I couldn't stay here forever. I looked up and I knew that she would miss me. Even though the pleasure I offered Her was nothing compared to what she had from the others, I was Hers now - I needed to go back to her."

"I woke up, and I knew that the shrine was real. I know where it is, I know it is real.

"End Note L."

He paused the recording, flipped the page,

"The following is a recording of Note M."

"When I returned, I had more of Her attention. I could hold on while She looked at me. The others too were waiting for me. They had been told to wait. She had said to them that I needed to be tested again. Those words, unspoken, were the sound of a finger gliding against a wine glass, reverberating, humming. It was a sound that said, 'come closer. Drink. Become drunk with Me. Become drunk on Me.'

"I stepped forward into the pool. Each step made me feel smaller and smaller, as the task of servicing Her grew closer and grew larger. There were no introductions - I felt something in my hands as they massaged Her breasts. I could feel the others in the room, our bodies were united as tools She used to please Herself. My chest was pressed against the edge of the pool. All that was underwater was unnecessary right now. The three parts outside served her. My hands and my face. Her legs were strong, they wrapped around my head and pulled me tight.

"I didn't need to breathe anymore, just needed to lick and kiss and massage. My face was slick with Her, my tongue saturated with Her, my lips gliding against Her lips. It was sweet and wide and ready. My tongue pushed in and lapped, while my lips continued to slide in tandem. I wish I had two tongues or three or four, or as many as it took to make Her feel better, to be a better thing for Her.

"My hands didn't need to think about where they moved, She guided them. I was no longer just me, I was all of the others too, we all worked her at once. We pushed and kissed, there were ten or twelve sets of hands and mouths and bodies all working in their own ways. Some grinding, some sliding, some licking or sucking or kissing. Each serving their purpose to service Her in the exact way She wanted.

"Every second was Hers, every second was more. My hands went from holding to massaging to grabbing to pinching to rubbing to scratching desperately to massaging.

"She was our communion. She was our divinity. She is our divinity.

"The cacophony of moans and the slick sounds of lips sliding on skin reached a crescendo as its most potent instrument joined. She groaned slowly, a gentle release, but one which told all of us that we were doing so good for Her.

"It was mind-shattering, deafening. If I heard no other sound in my life, I would have been in bliss to have reflected on that one forever.

"She looked down at me and smiled while She groaned louder. Her eyes locked with mine as the sound of her orgasm broke my mind to little melty pieces. The others collapsed like dolls strewn aside, spasming with joy. I could feel Her holding me like a doll. She was so powerful, I didn't need any control over myself, She was my control. She hefted me above the pool, pulled me closer, and grabbed me, and kissed me on the lips.

"She loved her own taste, she loved tasting it on my lips, she nodded before shoving me under the water, back to lap at Her more. The others greedily returned to their joy of pleasing Her. The sounds She made while we worked - the groans and the moans of bliss, the words, just re-emanations of "good" or "baby" or "doll" or "thing." The precise names didn't matter, we all knew they meant the same thing - we were Her good little things. Her skin shook, the world came closer and closer to breaking.

"I continued there, eyes lidded, I didn't need any pleasure, I had everything just by pleasing her. All I could feel is a hand changing between positions on me. Sometimes inside, sometimes outside. She laid me on my back at the edge of the pool.

"She fucked me there. I don't remember what organs I had. They didn't matter, just that She held me in complete dominion, that every muscle I had tensed to shatter the world while I came, that She smiled and bent over me while my mind was numbed to nothing. She kissed my forehead, put Her hand in my hair and told me I was good.

"I blinked, trying to remember what She felt like inside me, but there was no need for memory anymore. I lived forever in one moment as She wrapped her form around me, just as we did years ago when I met Her. I was gone. The world was gone. All that was left was Hers."

"End Note M."

He was nearly complete, he pulled the last page to his eyes,

"The following is a recording of Note N."

"I woke up and I looked forward. I was in our world again. Here, at Eagle Rock. I see the shrine. We're here forever now."

The recorder clicked twice, and the agent set the last, thin sheet of paper down.

"End Note N."

The agent stopped the recording, pulled the tape out of the recorder, wrote down a few words on top of the thing, and set it with the other two.

There was more here, pictures, reports from the field agents, drawings left behind amidst the notes. There were lab reports, detailed forensic analysis, his own notes on the case. But for now, the agent felt he had done enough. His voice was hoarse, and the report was well on its way to completion.