All Comments on 'Drink Me'

.

That was crazy..........good!!!!! And I didn't get any "non-consent" vibe: Though I was a bit worried when "Alice" was in the clutches of "The Red Queen". I would say that this deserves a sequel, but I'm not sure how you would follow-up on this over the top lierary impressionistic masterpiece. (Maybe go completely the other way and have the ladies get totally "real"?) Regardless; I give this story a five star "RAVE" review. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Sorry you lost me when she took an E and started tripping.

Enjoyed that, very well written with lots of lovely sex, what's not to like.

Dubious consent — not between Shayne and Alice; that was a wonderfully erotic night with a touch of the romantic. Suspect this piece is a “one and done” but so much potential for more fun as the two young women hopefully get to know one another outside the festival. Just saying. In any case, thanks for continuing to share “me writing sex” — love the characters you create in your stories as much as the sex they enjoy. 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

So great to hear from youbagain. This is a wonderful addition ❤. Love the descriptions and details you give. A real talent. Thank you

Fiona x

AiW might be my only true fetish. Great story.

i liked it to you got good reviews you are talented the sex was good but i liked the ending more be happy well and safe a fan shayne

Love it, hope to read more of them

As always, your craft is near perfect. But I found the story to be totally meaningless. Especially the drugged up sex; a waste of good words. No part of this story was worth reading ... as a story.

The crazy imagery was moderately good, but ONLY to those who've experienced something like it. Those without that real life experience cannot even begin to understand it. Ultimately, being drugged out is psychotic, and describing psychotic behavior is a losing battle no matter how good you are as a writer. It's the main reason that serial killer stories are boring, or a fantasy where magic has no rules. It gives the writer free reign to pull as many rabbits out of their hats as they wish (pun maybe intended) preventing the audience from engaging; it turns them in to stumps, only able to wash and unable to think because the story is chaotic, without rules, and ultimately unpredictable ... like Alice's drug trip.

But, craft-wise, this story perhaps failed in one important way that MIGHT have made it palatable. As presented, it violated the usual implied objectivity of the 3rd person observer. As presented, in 3rd person, it didn't fly because a 3rd person could not have "gotten into" the head of a drugged out moron like this little girl. However, presented 1st person, it would have been Alice telling her own story from her own perspective and therefore could not be a violation of the implied contract between writer and reader to be honest in the story presentation. Unreliable narrator stories can be presented in 3rd person but ONLY when the 3rd person is made to be a part of the story (such as a participant telling a story in purposely distorted flashback fashion). And, of course, a 1st person story *always* contains a bit of unreliable narrator.

But, as presented, I actually wanted this stupid little girl to end up dead in a ditch just like her sister warned her. She was in no way endearing, as stupidity rarely is.

Well, that's thoroughly messed up in a wonderful sort of way! I am glad she escaped the evil queen and king and found Shayna and I'd like to read more of them together post festival and see if the "magic" lasts beyond that pill. Having never taken pills before, this was a good reminder to not change that any time IMO, but each to their own. I appreciate your talent and wonderful writing/storytelling ability, so as always thanks so much for sharing!

I want more of Alice and Shayne, the next night, the next week if there is one....

This has so much potential to be a bigger story!

Thank you