Drummer Boy - Back Into Hell Ch. 03

"Oh, I'm sure she did," Leanne said. "Look, I respect Garanetta. She's knowledgeable and wise and allathat. But between you and me, she's got more sexual hangups than a Mormon field trip to Fire Island."

"A what to what?" Jason said, and then shook his head. "No, but ... what about the ghosts? Those were real!"

"Y'think so?" Leanne said. "I guess in the sense that they were real memories, yeah. Could they hurt you? Not a chance, and deep down, Garanetta probably knew it."

"So, what..." Jason said, "Granny was just making up excuses to get some D?"

"Hell, I doubt she even knew she was doing it," Leanne said. "But like I said, she was already starting to go off the rails. Y'all show up in a place full of charged up memories. Garanetta lets her guard down and whoosh, they go swooping in. She gets caught up and, 'cause of all your own mental screwing around, you get roped in for the ride."

"So she mind-controlled me," Jason said. "That's dirty pool."

Leanne shrugged. "Memories in a place like that can be pretty powerful," she said. "My guess is, she was already pretty drained, and just got overwhelmed."

"And took me with her!" Jason said. "That's fucking evil."

Leanne narrowed her eyes at him. "Look, ya knucklehead," she said, "to demonkind, you are a resource! You aren't intelligent, you don't have feelings, your opinions don't mean nothin' more than a smile on a dog. Ya don't matter."

"But-"

"But nothin'!" Leanne said. "Oh ya think just cause a few of our kind haven't outright killed you yet, you know something? Took me a whole lotta years on Earth to get to the point where I started taking y'all folks seriously. You think a horde of thousand-year-old ghosts care about one stray human?"

Chastened, Jason had to concede that Leanne might be right. "I guess not," he said. "But I don't like it."

Leanne simply raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, well, I liked it," Jason admitted, "but that's not the point."

The eyebrow lowered. "I get it, and I'm pretty sure Garanetta does too. Hell, the fact that she didn't just kill ya to bury the shame says a lot for how far she's come, vis-a-vis human-demon relations."

"Wow," Jason said sullenly, "she's a real social justice warrior."

"Hey dummy," Leanne said. "Demons. Soul of the world. It takes a lot of work for our kind to not be evil."

"I guess," Jason said, and paused. "Those memories, they were the real deal, weren't they?"

"Oh, yeah," Leanne said.

"Leanne, um..." Jason said cautiously, "When we came here before, Granny called you 'Anali'."

"Aye," Leanne said.

"You really loved her a lot, huh?" Jason said. "This Zuli?"

Leanne pressed her lips together tightly, forming a wan smile.

"You never forget your first," Leanne said. "Losing Zuli ... damn near broke me. When you really love someone, ain't no hurt in the world worse than losing 'em. Even went looking for a way to die myself. Thought I'd never love again."

"But you did," Jason said.

"Sometimes, love has a way of finding its way in, whether you want it to or not." Leanne shrugged. "Look, I been on this world hundreds of years. Lived a lot of lives, outlived a lot of loves. You'd think I'd be done with the whole game. But you know what? When it's real, it gets ya every time."

"Most of us humans only get one chance at it, though," Jason said. "Two if we're lucky."

"I guess you're right," Leanne said. "I get ta live for a good, long time, though, an' that means I gotta lotta love ta give. An' I still love Zuli, now more than ever, 'cause it was her that taught me how to love in the first place. An' each lover I've had since, from Arnie all the way back to Adelbard, they share in that. I like to think that I brought that love to this world, and that makes it one of the best blessings she ever gave ta me."

Jason studied Leanne then, seeing her as if for the first time. This brash, squat, salt-and-pepper-haired woman with the fancy glasses. A several thousand-year-old demon sure, but light-years beyond any of the other demons he'd met so far.

"Anyway," Leanne said. "I think Zuli woulda been proud. An' it makes me glad ta know that there's still a piece of that love hangin' around back home."

"It sure as hell is," Jason said. "Got me right in the feels."

"Maybe we demonfolk ain't hopeless after all," Leanne said. "But that's enough mushy stuff for now. I need ta know what happened after that."

"Right," Jason said. "So, obviously, we had to clean up-"

"You can skip that bit, sunshine," Leanne said.

"Fine," Jason said.

* * *

Jason slept as best he could, on the opposite side of the room from where Granny kept watch, and she was kind enough not to molest him any further. After a couple hours, Granny, already dressed and ready, woke him. She showed him an alcove that, conveniently, contained a hollowed out bathtub for washing. The water that came from the stone spout was surprisingly warm-

("I said skip it!" Leanne said. "Okay! God!" Jason replied.)

"Jason!" Granny said, spying him in the cistern. "Why do you malinger so?"

"It's barely been five minutes!" Jason protested.

"That is more than ample time to effect your cleanliness," Granny said.

"What can I say? I like my tubbies," Jason said.

(Leanne sighed.)

"But fine, you're right, gotta go."

Jason got out of the tub, and removed the stopper to let the water out. Watching the water go down the drain, he remarked sadly to Granny, "You really know how to hurt a guy," he said.

"Which I shall demonstrate, lest you hasten!" Granny said.

"New from TarterCo," Jason muttered to himself. "It's Sex with Granny. Side effects may include post-coital grouchiness and elevated possibility of dismemberment."

"Spare me your attempts at humor," Granny said. "I will leave this chamber shortly. You may either join me, or try your luck in finding your way back out."

Remembering the madness room, Jason dressed quick fast in a hurry, and followed Granny back up the stairs. When they reached the top, Jason was almost thankful to be greeted by the endless umber waste of Tarterus' surface.

"Now, hold still," Granny said. "I must place some spells upon you before we depart."

"Whoa, whoa, Granny!" Jason said. "Slow down. At least ask before you put your voodoo on me."

Clearly annoyed, Granny said, "These are merely beneficial spells, to ease our further travels."

"Like some anti-ghost-possession magic?" Jason said. "That coulda come in handy before."

Granny grimaced, looking embarrassed. "I doubt that will be an issue going forward," she said.

"Okay," Jason said. "So, what're we talking about here?"

"A spell of sleep," Granny said. "There are several hours yet before we reach the antipode, after which we shall no doubt be very busy. Best you take what repose you can, while you can."

"But if I'm sleeping, then how do I keep from-?"

"A spell of attachment," Granny said. "Strong enough to bind you to me as I attain my greatest velocity, but not so strong as to need a counterspell when we arrive."

"Pretty neat, but won't I freeze my ass off if you're-?"

"That requires no magic," Granny said. "You shall be my ... what is your phrase? ... 'heat sink'. I daresay my efforts will generate enough thermic energy for the both of us." Granny paused. "Further questions?"

"Just one," Jason said. "Why the hell didn't you do this before?!"

"I have been conserving my magical energies," Granny said, "and did not wish to waste them on frivolities."

"Like me dying, or anything like that," Jason said.

"Exactly so," said Granny. "However, due to the surplus of magical energies recently made available to me, it seems most efficacious to grant you these small amenities."

By which Granny was making the most oblique reference possible to her getting a good old-fashioned drenching of Jason's homemade magical man-sauce.

Jason shook his head. "You're all heart, Granny," he said. "And that's all?"

"There are some other, very minor, contingency spells, which might aid in your survival during an emergency," Granny said. "All very benign. May I proceed?"

Jason shrugged. "I guess so," he said. "May as well get it over with."

"Excellent," Granny said. Then she folded her wings tightly behind her back, her eyes began sparking their yellow flames, and she started chanting. After a few seconds, the energy poured out of her eyes, and began to form into a roiling ball of energy a few inches in front of her face.

Still chanting, Granny used her hands to gently mold the hovering ball, refining its shape, smoothing out the edges, and gradually changing the color of it from a lightning yellow to a rather soothing violet-blue. Meanwhile, her chanting continued, now with extra reverb.

Then Granny stopped chanting, her eyes powered down, and the spell seemed to be complete. The multihued ball of energy hung independently in the air.

"Now," Granny said, "step into the spell, please."

In for a penny, in for a pound, Jason thought. He walked forward, and the ball of light surrounded his head. The light grew and changed its shape, gradually coming to cover his entire body. It didn't feel like anything at all, but once it had totally covered him, there was a bright pulse, and then it vanished completely.

"Intriguing," Granny said. "No adverse reactions at all."

"Adverse?" Jason said. "I thought you said it was safe?"

"Nominally," Granny said, smirking. "But as I said before, assume nothing in Tarterus. Nevertheless, you would have made an excellent test subject. It seems to have worked perfectly."

Still, Jason gave himself a once-over over, just in case. Satisfied that there was nothing weird or out of place going on he said, "I guess I'm good. So how does this work?"

"You shall see," Granny said, bending to one knee and spreading her wings, "once you mount me."

"Didn't you wanna grab one of those flight skirts?" Jason said. "You know, for the road?"

"Sadly, there are none here," Granny said. "The penitents must make their pilgrimages to Bright Lady's Brow on foot." She scowled. "The fools."

"Can't argue there," Jason said.

Jason approached Granny from behind and wrapped his arms and legs around her. Once he had, he found himself instantly sort of glommed onto her. He tested the stickiness out, and discovered that he could pull free, but he really had to try. Then he noticed that the heat from Granny's body began to spread out evenly all over him. Even now on the ground, he felt good all over. Comforted.

"Cool," Jason said.

"The spell of slumber will engage once we are in flight," Granny said. "Satisfied?"

"Yes, ma'am," Jason said. "First class, minus the in-flight meal. Can I say 'giddyap' this time?"

"I would prefer you did not," Granny said.

"Too bad," Jason said. "Gid-"

Granny launched into the air, cutting Jason off mid-sentence.

They ascended, Granny beating her wings mightily to achieve maximum speed and altitude, and, as advertised, Jason began to feel Granny's sleep spell taking hold. In the few moments before he lost consciousness, he wondered about Granny's plan.

The big question that had been floating around his mind was what if this Electra refused to help them? Ending the war seemed like a gimme, but Granny had entertained the possibility that she might say no.

Jason took it as a given that there was a shitload of stuff Granny wasn't telling him. Hell, stuff he didn't even know to ask, really. Plus, she was already playing it kinda fast and loose, having adjusted the plan quite a bit already. Had she adjusted her goals too, without telling him?

Earlier, he'd told Thumper to trust Granny. Now he was beginning to wonder if that was really the best move.

The sleeping spell was really getting down to business. It felt like his body and mind were being compressed by something. Something insistent and irresistible, but comfortable. As if he were being swaddled by a big, friendly blanket made of pure sleep. His muscles relaxed, and his thoughts grew ever smaller.

Haunted castles, mystery ethnic food, and a ghost orgy with a thousand-year-old demon, Jason thought. Gonna be hard to top that.

He felt the urge to yawn, realized he couldn't, and then the urge itself faded away. Jason fell asleep, but, fortunately, not to his death.

* * *

"Awaken, human," Granny said.

Jason woke up. He'd forgotten exactly where he was, and stretched his arms. When they didn't move, Jason started, and opened his eyes. The aerial view from atop Granny's back refreshed his memory.

"Oh, that's right. Alien hellscape," Jason muttered. "Are we there yet?"

Granny didn't answer. They had come to a stop in mid-air, with Granny upright and beating her wings slowly to hover. She stared intently into the distance, which gave Jason a chance to have a look around for himself.

The landscape remained disappointingly familiar, but a few things had changed. Where the sky had been decidedly pink before, it was now more of a mauve color. Aubergine, if he was gonna be fancy about it. In addition, the flat, orange expanse had become less flat. Below them, he could see hills spaced out at irregular intervals, sometimes even clustering together.

"Talk to me, Granny," Jason said. "Why'd we stop?"

"As you can see," Granny said, "the outpost yonder is in dire need of assistance."

Squinting, Jason looked around, and saw nothing. "Sorry, G," Jason said. "I haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about."

"Of course not," Granny said, and then sighed theatrically. "The many deficiencies of humans had momentarily slipped my mind."

"That's the Granny I know," Jason said.

"Merely a statement of fact," Granny said. "Before us lies Pinnacle's Peak, and it is currently under attack by a large force of Spines."

"It is? How?" Jason said. "You said they weren't allowed up this far or something?"

"It appears that my child's rampage has triggered a response," Granny said. "The situation has evolved rapidly."

"So can't we just kinda scoot around 'em," Jason said. "We got a date with your boss, remember?"

"It is the duty of all Wings to aid their sisters," Granny said, "even moreso for one of my station."

"Well, crap," Jason said. "Hey, is this gonna be another Bright Lady's Brow type thing?" Jason said. "Cause I don't wanna go out like that."

"Nay, beast," Granny said. "This will be far more to my liking! We are away!"

Granny went horizontal, flying off at top speed towards a spot on the horizon. After a minute, Jason saw flashes of light zipping around in the distance. A minute more, and he could make out little dots moving around in the air, like swarms of busy gnats darting around. Similar swarms raced along the ground.

All the activity was centered around what looked like a giant, tiered wedding cake, but made of rock. From some of these tiers, fire shot downward, licking the ground with bright orange flame. It was very dramatic, and extremely unsettling to Jason.

Hey, Granny, Jason sent to her, before you get all mixed up in whatever the hell that mess is, I'd really appreciate it if you could, y'know, drop me off somewhere.

It is as if you have read my mind, Granny sent back to him.

Jason felt the force binding him to Granny disappear. He very quickly wrapped his arms and legs super tight around her body again.

"Granny!" Jason said. "What's the big id-WHOOOAH!"

Granny had grabbed him by the waistband of his jeans, and plucked him off of her back. She pulled him around so that they were face to face.

"Stay out of the way," Granny said. "I shall come and find you."

Then Granny started demon-chanting again, yet before she had even finished, she had already darted off, her demon wings carrying her away at top speed.

Dishearteningly, Jason immediately began to fall.

To Be Continued