Dungeons and Dalliances Ch. 001-016

She rubbed her face, then looked back at her other three choices. The ones she had expected, and wanted. Sure, they were boring, if she were being honest—and, inexplicably, the smallest bit a disappointment—but a person's class didn't need to be the most amazing thing in the world. Natalie could make great use of a [Berserker]'s skills, or an [Adept]'s. She already had a spot in Tenet, conditional on receiving an adventuring class.

Which startled her with the reminder. "Will it at least be a combat class? It needs to be." She couldn't risk it otherwise. Even if the class was powerful, Natalie had a path in life she intended to walk, no exceptions. She wouldn't risk not being able to attend Tenet with Jordan.

The Bestower tilted her head, and Natalie was, oddly, struck by the impression she was conferring with someone. Did gods—or eldritch creatures—have parties? She didn't see why not, odd as it was to think about.

"It will be a class with... combat applications," The Bestower finally said. "That's the most that will be provided."

Despite saying earlier Natalie wouldn't get a hint, the automaton had answered her. Did that mean... she wanted Natalie to accept? Or that someone did?

And again, Natalie noted The Bestower's phrasing. Not, 'I will provide', but, 'will be provided'. It implied something... even if Natalie couldn't place exactly what.

But the answer had the tension draining from Natalie's shoulders. A combat class. Or something with combat applications, whatever that meant. Why had the automaton put it that way?

Honestly, the clarification would fit a variety of classes. Mages, to name one. Some mages didn't become adventurers, instead progressing through study and practice, locking up in collegiums and inventing spell formulae. The Bestower might have phrased it in that way to be specific; the class could be fully combat functional, but with other uses, too.

Either way, it served her purpose for getting into Tenet. Past that, did it matter? An unheard-of chance for a powerful class... it was something most people couldn't dream of. How could Natalie turn the offer down? However strange, or ill-fitting, it might be.

And Natalie had always had an adventurous spirit. She didn't take the road more traveled whenever possible. The opposite. Something as crazy as this? She felt compelled to accept, regardless the risk. Her only hard criteria had been a combat class, so she could follow Jordan to Tenet as had been their dream since they were kids. Beyond that... did it matter?

But gods, what would it be?

"I have time to think, right?"

"As much as you need."

That part of her unlocking, then, wasn't any different. She'd been told many times she would have plenty of time to consider her options. There was no need to rush into anything. Even Natalie, typically reckless, wouldn't pick her class based on how she was feeling in the moment.

So. Time to think.

"Okay. Just... give me a second."

Natalie sat down cross-legged, closed her eyes to focus, and thought.

1.04 - Decision

In the end, she couldn't turn the offer down. But coming to that conclusion took a while of just sitting there, running her brain in circles. The Bestower, at least, waited patiently. She didn't speak a word as the minutes ticked by. Natalie supposed it made sense a deity—or pseudo-deity, or whatever the automaton was—would be endlessly patient.

And honestly, Natalie didn't think she spent more time deliberating than most, so it wasn't like The Bestower had to be overly long-suffering. Natalie would never call herself a meticulous person. It was only because of the monumental circumstances—her unlocking—that she gave the decision the consideration it deserved. Most situations, she'd go with her gut. Jump in with much less forethought than appropriate. The Architect knew Jordan had complained about Natalie's brashness more than once, through their adolescent adventures across the Entwining Forest.

Natalie sighed, then stood.

"Okay," she said. "I accept."

An unsurprised nod. Had she known Natalie would agree before even she had? Though, the lack of surprise might just be from a stoic nature. Or disinterest. Natalie might be reading into things.

Certainly, the decision Natalie had made wouldn't be a given for all people. Despite the class being guaranteed to be powerful, not everyone would take it. Not knowing the class you were picking... there was serious risk, there. Even three choices weren't enough options to make people comfortable.

The plinths holding Natalie's classes sank into the glass-like water. Natalie's heart jumped, seeing her potential future vanish, for everything to become so suddenly unknown. She vibrated with nerves.

"So," Natalie said. "What is it?"

"Goodbye, Natalie," The Bestower said, turning away.

Natalie blinked, not expecting the response. She opened her mouth to call out—

***

And her eyes shot open.

The empty, moonlit church greeted her.

For a moment, she sat there in silence, perched atop the cushion Elder Britt had placed down for her.

Her unlocking had ended, and she didn't even know what class she'd received?

She scrambled to her feet. Adrenaline doused her, and she tried to fight through the panic and shock, to wrestle some sort of clear-mindedness back. It took effort. Natalie had never had great control over her emotions. At least the dead-silent church provided no distractions.

Okay.

So.

The Bestower hadn't told her what class she'd got, but there was a way to determine one's class and skills. Obviously. Unlockings were a one time event. How would people know their level and skills as they progressed, without something of the sort?

Looking inward, Natalie quested out. It was something she'd never done before, but everyone with a class—so, everyone over the age of eighteen—was given a basic skill, [Inspect].

***

Natalie / Level 1

Paladin of Lust

Stats

Furor: F

Tenacity: F+

Prowess: F-

Gear

Weapon Slot 1: <Unused>

Weapon Slot 2: <Unused>

Equipment Slot 1: <Unused>

Equipment Slot 2: <Unused>

Equipment Slot 3: <Unused>

Equipment Slot 4: <Unused>

***

Natalie's brain locked up.

'Paladin of Lust'?

Huh?

That was her class name?

The oddity of having the information placed in her head—at experiencing the [Inspect] skill for the first time—went ignored over the much more shocking item of interest.

Paladin of Lust?

What in the world?

What kind of class was that?

'Paladin'. That was the easier part to digest. Paladins were, to Natalie's knowledge, rare, but not unheard-of. They held to a specific god, which their powers were derived from. Or, 'held' in a loose sense. Natalie didn't know if it required actual worship. But paladins revolved around an aspect—a theme—which were tied to a specific god or goddess.

So, 'Lust'? Who was the god of lust? Truth told, there were too many to keep track of, and Natalie had never paid attention to Elder Britt's lectures. She knew the Upper Pantheon, of course, because everyone did. But only the most common of the Lower: Setrus, The Trickster, or Thorne, God of the Forge, and so on.

But it didn't matter who her patron was. What mattered was... what it meant. Implied.

And weren't Paladins half-mages? A fighter-mage hybrid was the most accurate way to put it, but paladins were definitely spellcasters, as a whole.

Natalie, a mage? Even as a hybrid, the idea was laughable. Proficiency with magic was so... antithetical to her... that Natalie felt like she ought to laugh.

It was what she'd been worried over, accepting an unknown class. Getting something unsuited to her. Natalie didn't know how to cast spells. Classes only amplified, not created from nothing. Even someone without a mage class could cast a spell, just never to the level of a real mage. It was how places like Tenet sorted for candidates before they reached their unlocking. Aptitude was proven before a class was obtained. And Natalie had aptitude in fighting... but definitely not casting.

What had she expected? She'd known it would be a mystery what she received. Honestly, at least a Paladin was half a fighter. She fit somewhat with the class.

But Natalie was shying away from the actual problem.

The whole... 'lust' part.

What the hell did it mean? Or entail?

Surely not...?

What other interpretations were there?

Natalie didn't get to stew in silence for long. Adrenaline and shock had masked something obvious from her, but as she came down—slowly, and certainly not all the way—something attention-grabbing forced her focus away from her class's name, and all the implications.

Something... somehow even more shocking.

Her body.

Something had changed.

Something between her legs. Something was there, that hadn't been, before.

What?

For the second time, Natalie's brain blanked out.

She pulled on her waistband and looked down. The fabric to her pants didn't yield much, only letting Natalie pull a few inches out, and it was dark inside the moonlit church, but it was enough to identify the problem. To... discern the invader.

The piece of biology that had definitely not been there before.

She had a cock.

A dick. Tucked into her underwear. It sat there, soft and wrinkly and... dick-like.

Natalie went dizzy. She let her waistband snap back. Now that she'd noticed the invader, the sensation couldn't be ignored. She felt it. She felt her pants pressing against it. Maybe someone who'd had one their whole life would be able to ignore the pressure, having grown used to it, but Natalie had never had something pressed against her cock.

"What the fuck," Natalie said.

Natalie didn't have a habit of talking to herself, but considering the circumstances? She felt she could be excused. The words escaped her mouth without her input.

She had a cock.

Her class had given it to her. Her 'Paladin of Lust' class, the impossible fourth option.

The gods had given her a cock. As if things hadn't been strange enough.

Even through her paralyzing confusion, she had one question wrestle to the forefront of her mind:

But why?

1.05 - Congratulations

Being given a cock presumably meant Natalie was expected to use it. Why else would it be there? And combined with her class name, Paladin of Lust, it seemed an obvious assumption.

But what kind of class expected... that?

Somehow, Natalie steadied her swimming thoughts. There was no reason to invent creative ideas behind her situation; she could find out directly. In the same way as she had inspected her name, class, and stats, a person could inspect their skills.

So. That was what she did. She needed answers.

And... something to distract her from the fleshy, sensitive protrusion tucked between her legs.

Natalie looked inward, then [Inspected] her skills.

***

[Carnal Harvest] - PASSIVE. PROGRESSION 1. Extract carnal energy through {kissing} an aroused target. Harvested energy can be expended through [Empower] and [Advance].

[Empower] - ACTIVE. PROGRESSION 1. Amplify the potency of any ACTIVE or AURA skill by {1.5x}. Expend Carnal Energy equal to mana cost.

[Advance] - ACTIVE. PROGRESSION 1. MAXED. Expend Carnal Energy to progress skills.

[Illusion] - ACTIVE. PROGRESSION 1. Conjure a {mildly} powerful audiovisual mirage to distract or confuse an opponent.

[Heavy Weaponry] - PASSIVE. PROGRESSION 1. Class-bearer is granted a {6-inch} weapon to satisfy and harvest Carnal Energy from chosen targets.

***

If Natalie had thought she'd been stunned before, having her skills inserted into her head redefined the word. She stood there, frozen in surprise.

Where to even start?

Well. The obvious. Once her brain stopped failing to understand the skills detailed to her, it honed in on one in particular. The culprit behind the changes to her biology.

[Heavy Weaponry].

Did it need to have such a humorous name?

The skill that had given her a cock was called 'heavy weaponry'?

Really?

And... Natalie was far from an expert on this sort of thing, but the things between her legs didn't seem like 'heavy weaponry'. It was still soft, so she couldn't know for sure, but it didn't seem that big. The skill spelled it out: six inches. Six was about average, Natalie thought. She preferred girls, so she didn't have any first-hand experience, but still.

Though... Natalie patched two-and-two together. There was an emphasis on the six inches. As in, {6}, the skill had said. Combined with how she had an [Advance] skill, the emphasis must imply that the number would change as she moved the skill to higher 'progressions'.

Her cock would get bigger as she progressed the skill?

Uh. She wasn't sure what to think about that.

More practically (and yes, she was shying away from the previous revelation) was how she had a skill that improved other skills. That wasn't standard. To Natalie's knowledge, a skill was a skill. It didn't change as a person leveled up, and certainly couldn't be progressed separately from a person's level and stats.

Yet it seemed Natalie herself could, through this... 'Carnal Energy'.

'Unique, and potent', The Bestower had said.

Certainly both of those, from what she'd seen.

Though Natalie's recently-bestowed cock was, of course, on the forefront of her mind, she tried to focus on the other aspects of her class. The skills detailed to her that weren't as... prevalently noticeable.

She went in order.

[Carnal Harvest]. As Natalie suspected, sexual activities were, it seemed, to be a staple in her life. The class title of 'Paladin of Lust' had made that clear enough, much as she'd been dreading the proof.

Though, only kissing? [Carnal Harvest] specified 'kissing' an aroused target would provide her this... 'Carnal Energy'.

Likely, that was temporary. Kissing had the same emphasis as '6' had had. So as she advanced the skill, she would be able to harvest energy in more... lewd... manners. Intuition told her that she'd receive more energy the more intimate the act was.

Huh.

What would that progression look like? What was a 'step up' from kissing? Fondling? Then what? Penetration? Natalie shook her head to clear it. She needed to focus; speculation could come later.

So, sure. She received Carnal Energy by making out with other girls. Whatever.

[Empower] was next. She could increase the potency of her 'regular skills' using the energy she gathered?

Though she only had one apparent 'normal skill' to do so on, [Illusion]. That would presumably be changing as she leveled up and received more skills. But still. Empowering basic skills through the use of sexual energy. That had the potential of being... strong. Right?

Probably. As she'd been promised, accepting this class. Her skills were strong—that was a given.

Just...

So weird.

[Advance] she'd already pondered. She moved to the next: [Illusion].

A mage-type skill. Natalie had a mage-fighter hybrid class, and so she would need to learn how to use the skill to its fullest potential. That was... sure to be a struggle. Natalie might be a good brawler—enough to qualify for Tenet Delving Academy, no easy task—but her casting abilities were, without a doubt, lacking.

Ignoring that, though, the ability to distract a target by conjuring an illusion? Only an idiot wouldn't see the tactical use of something like that. And it could 'level up'. Become stronger, by funneling Carnal Energy to the skill, making the illusion more powerful, more attention-grabbing.

So, that was everything. All five of her first-level skills. At a centimeter-deep level, at least. There was so much to think over, for each ability. But... she didn't have time.

Her friends and acquaintances—Tinford's residents—were waiting for her. Natalie was given time to deliberate over her granted class, but they were expecting Natalie to stride out, having received a class fitting to the life she'd lived. A normal class. Some kind of fighter. Which was... kind of right.

Oh, gods. How did she explain?

She wouldn't. That was her instinctive reaction. She would lie. Or, omit the relevant details. Then, later, if necessary, she would explain herself. But she couldn't walk out and describe what she'd actually got. Even saying she'd received a mage-type class, she wasn't up for.

She needed time to digest.

Honestly?

She needed time to talk to Jordan.

Jordan had always been Natalie's voice of reason.

She could help Natalie figure this out, right?

1.06 - Reveal

Natalie was, at least, good at bluster. She strode from the church, her unlocking completed, with a grin on her face, as if nothing had happened—as if she'd received a class she'd been expecting.

As if she didn't have a cock between her legs.

Her friends—and a decent portion of Tinford—were there, waiting for her. The cheers came out, and Natalie was pressed in by a sea of congratulating bodies. The mood was infectious, piercing even through the strangeness of what she'd been through. For a second, Natalie pretended the farce wasn't a farce; she let her unlocking be celebrated, as if nothing was amiss.

And really, it deserved celebration, didn't it? Weird her circumstances might be, but she'd received a powerful class. One even The Bestower had said would be potent, and unique. Natalie didn't know what to make of it all... but it deserved celebration.

The following minutes passed in a blur. As the ultimate event of the night—and unlockings occurring at midnight, well past when decent folk had gone to bed—the festivities petered off.

It wasn't more than a half-hour before Natalie had, rather than following her parents home, ended up with Jordan, in her bedroom. That didn't draw any odd looks, from either her, Natalie's parents, or anyone else. The two of them had been inseparable since they could string words together. Of course Natalie had ended up in Jordan's room after her unlocking. Jordan had ended up in Natalie's room, back when it'd been hers.

"So," Jordan said, closing her door, and spinning on Natalie. "What happened? What is it?"

Natalie's plastered-on facade melted. She stared, distraught, at her dark-haired best friend, not having a clue how to even broach the subject. Of course Jordan had seen through her. That, at least, Natalie had expected. She'd been getting odd looks from Jordan since she'd walked through the church's double doors. Jordan had always been able to see right through her.

"I got a weird class."

How else would she phrase it?

Jordan wasn't surprised by the announcement. Because, obviously she'd known something was up, and what else, arriving from the church post-unlocking?

"Spill it."

Natalie laughed, then rubbed her face.

"I don't even know how."

"Start anywhere. What, not a fighter type?"

"It's, uh. A fighter type." Then, broaching the least-strange part of her situation, she said, "Fighter-mage mix, looks like."

Jordan's eyebrows shot up. "Ah." Then they furrowed back down. "That isn't it?"

"Not remotely."

"I'm waiting."

"I seriously don't know where to start."

Jordan pulled Natalie to the bed, and they sat down. She gave Natalie a serious look. "Start anywhere. We'll figure it out together. Promise."

It was hard to explain, really, how the words struck Natalie. She couldn't articulate why, but they hit her like a thunderbolt. Natalie had to force her gaze away from Jordan's green eyes. Her heart slammed in her chest, all of a sudden, and it wasn't even from the imminent conversation—and all the awkwardness, and strangeness, it would entail.

Natalie cleared her throat.

"It's uh. It's a sex class."

The lack of grace was intentional. She'd grasped for a way to stop Jordan from staring at her with those intense, concerned eyes, and landed on the absurd sentence.