Dungeons and Dicks Ch. 04

Tess just sat back, folded her arms under her boobs, and smiled in anticipation of the games finally beginning.

Penny looked at us. "The swiftly closing iris will shut before more than one of you can make it through."

"Initiative," called out Craig, whose The Flame was our speediest character and should have a bonus in situations like this. He reached for his dice.

"Yeah... no," Penny drawled. She looked at me with a smile. "Jarhead makes it through, just before the iris snaps shut. Indeed, for you guys outside, you are not even sure if he does make it through, or if his trailing foot is pulverized by the mighty alien steel."

"Whew," I said, drowned out by howls of protest and rules-lawyering.

Penny just shook her head. "No, no initiative rolls. John spoke first, clearly reacting first..."

"But..." interrupted Craig, before Penny rolled right over him.

"And more importantly, John told me what Jarhead was doing. You guys all spoke in the first person. I'm told that means a penalty."

"Fuck," grumbled Mark, speaking for all of them. No first person was one of The Rules. It was the only one we tended to break in the excitement, but we enforced it when it mattered. And it mattered here because Penny wanted to thank me for my earlier advice, I guessed. I looked at Geri and Anne. This was some princely thanks.

*

The cosplay was back in full force this week, and even we guys were apparently no longer immune.

My phone dinged on Thursday afternoon. It was the Emergency Bears text thread with me, Mark, and Craig. I saw Martin had been just added.

CRAIG: I'm doomed. Anne just showed me what she cooked up for my 'costume'. I get speedos with flames silk-screened on them and a stretch mesh teeshirt with a The Flame logo she created on its front. That's all!!! I look like six year-old in his underwear, pretending to be Superman.

There was a pause as we all took in the magnitude of this disaster.

MARK: I have been issued the leather pants I wore for Halloween two years ago and a trench coat. I am required to create a prop glove for myself by Saturday, on pain of being left at home.

MARTIN: Why am I in a text group entitled 'Emergency Bears'?

CRAIG: Welcome. We share memes sometimes, and talk about what our women are plotting against us. Mostly we talk about what a disaster the Bears are.

MARTIN: I'll stay... if I can talk about what a disaster the Rams are

MARK: You can keep your Dodgers. You are hopeless about them, but come on. Forget the Rams. Adopt ONE local team!

ME: [GIF of Darth Vader Holding Out His Hand to Luke] Come to the Dark Side, Martin. We have BRATWURST!

MARTIN: Maybe. Bratwurst is good

MARTIN: That said, I have been given a whole-body, blue, stretch lycra body suit WITH HOOD.

ME: Told you someone was going to end up in a gimp suit.

MARK: And your fate, oh no longer immune EX-dungeon master?

ME: Army surplus camo pants and leather crossing bandoliers for equipment. No shirt.

MARTIN: Ouch.

MARK: Told you that you needed to be hitting the gym more.

ME: Unfortunately, I now have only the time to hit it LESS

MARTIN: Penny is just wearing tight black, so she can be anything. Geri going with the bikini?

MARK: Natch.

CRAIG: No spoilers about Anne.

Now THAT was interesting.

When the evening began, Craig and Anne were last to arrive at our place. Various texts from them about how they had burnt the food they were bringing seemed dubious. Anne never made a mistake in the kitchen.

Tess had walked in to a few raised eyebrows with her cosplay, which was just a sexy business suit with a short skirt and a high collared jacket. Some people seemed a touch disappointed. Heh.

When Craig finally pushed through our front door with his arms full of good-smelling stuff, it was obvious that what most of us had suspected was true: They were just deliberately late so Anne could make an Entrance.

She had never gotten over being third and, in her opinion, worst in the original cosplay getups. She had always thought her see-through 'ringmail' and much less concealing than before tabard had not been up to snuff in the authenticity department with Geri and Tess. Not one guy would have had a bad word to say about her in that get-up, but that was the way she was.

She was not going to be upstaged this time around.

She walked in behind Craig, empty-handed. Woos, whistles, and an outright catcall from Penny greeted the Martienne. The alien babe wore matching purple yoga pants from Lululemon, and a homemade vest with a high collar and profoundly low neckline, which hugged her high-performance curves like a Ferrari hugged a turn.

And every square inch of her skin was a deep, emerald green. No one had any doubts that the color extended everywhere beneath the clothes as well. Her hair was a shade darker purple than her clothes.

Tess spoke first. "Isn't it going to rub off on, um, people?" she asked softly.

Anne grinned. "Nope! See?" she added, rubbing the back of her hand against Craig's cheek, leaving no mark. "I got some three years ago at WonderCon. It is basically a fake tan skin bronzer, but with a green tinting. My new, unexpired tube arrived by FedEx yesterday. Thank God the makers are still in business."

"Yeah, I'm going to need that company's name," said Penny, breathlessly.

"Yes, she is," Martin added slowly. "I'm finally going to get my Orion slave girl..."

"It lasts as long a bronzer?" Mark asked incredulously. "Don't you have to go into work Monday?"

"I did the hair two days ago and worked with purple hair last night," Tess laughed. "It got a good reaction. If I went in like this I think my tips would be epic," laughed Anne. "But no, I am not working with green skin. It comes off with alcohol. Craig gets to rub me down all over tonight... or maybe tomorrow if he is a good boy... with vodka."

"To be clear, I will use gin," Craig grinned an excrement-eating grin. "It is higher proof than vodka... and I prefer the taste of gin."

I said nothing because... holy fuck, green skin. On Anne. I eventually ripped my eyes from her and stole a glance at Geri.

Yep. She was already in turmoil at being bested in the cosplay arena. I could only imagine how she was going to up her game in response to this.

It was good to be alive.

*

Jarhead recovered from a brief moment of unconsciousness (he hoped it had been brief) to find himself alone in what appeared to be a space ship's refuse filter or bin. Small rocks, human litter, and other, unidentifiable material was spread out throughout the space, doubtless sucked in by the evacuation ray.

I stood up from my chair and turned to Penny. "Jarhead quickly looks around for Korda and Martienne."

Penny looked at Geri and Anne and pointed at the floor. "It is not hard to spy the two other heroes, lying splayed out atop each other on the floor, still unconscious, among the other refuse."

My two friends both raised eyebrows at Penny, but walked over to the middle of the room. Anne lay down on her back, splayed out with her limbs in all directions. Geri shrugged and lay face down atop her, sideways, ass pushed up in the air as she draped over Anne's midsection. Both giggled, then lay still.

Holy shit, were the two of them going to encourage me to play with both of them? This was great. I heard Tess chuckle behind me.

"Jarhead keeps his head on a swivel, seeking any sign that the aliens are nearby or coming for them," I said quickly.

"Oh sure, now you get all dungeon-careful," said Penny snidely. "You didn't think to check if the ship might have breathable air?"

"I didn't need to," I replied sweetly. "They didn't use breathing apparatuses, so if they can breath our air easily, we should be able to breath theirs."

"Don't poke the Dungeon Master, dear," warned Tess.

Penny shrugged, not wanting to get into it with me right then. She did shush Tess. "You hear or see no signs of a general alarm. They may well not have even realized that any of you got on board. A certain amount of debris seems likely to always get sucked on board, and you are sitting in the filter. To give extra credence to that idea, you realize that almost everything in here, including Korda and Martienne, has been immobilized with an almost invisible net of webbing, probably to secure any large masses from shifting in flight."

"Shit! Are we flying?" I asked Penny.

"You can't tell. The whole ship seems to shudder slightly every once in a while for no discernible reason."

"But I can move," I asked. "Why?"

Penny shrugged.

"Maybe because you came in under your own power, and we didn't?" Geri put in.

"Shush, we are unconscious," Anne scolded.

"No, it's okay," Penny said. "Let's say that Korda and Martienne have awoken and discovered that they are quite effectively immobilized."

"Against Martienne's Angry Strength™?" Anne growled, um, angrily.

"Looks like it. Or at least it is strong enough to resist as much strength as you dare without pushing Korda through the web like garlic through a press."

"Hey, let's not try that," Geri put in hastily.

I walked over and bent down over the extravagantly sexy pile of womanhood. "He's going to risk touching the webbing, carefully."

"It seems to adhere to them, but not to Jarhead's fingers," Penny said.

"Easy girls, I'll get you free somehow," Jarhead said, taking his time to drink in the sights.

"Thanks, Marine Man. It good to know we can count on team!!!" Korda said in earnest, silver-age comic dialog melded with primitive speech. Lots of exclamation points were the order of the day.

"Yeah," added Martienne, who was lying on her back and could see Jarhead's roving eyes. "But maybe a little less looking, and a little more figuring?"

"He tugs at the webbing a little," I said absently to Penny, eyes still downward, as Jarhead ran his hand over Korda's upthrust ass, pretending to pick a little at the webbing covering it.

Korda cleared her throat at the touch, but also wiggled her ass.

"You find that if you rub carefully enough, you can massage it free of them, about a centimeter at a time. Once you get it free, it seems to stop adhering," Penny said softly.

I finally looked up to give her an appreciative glance. A deeply appreciative glance.

"All right girls, I think I can free you. Just be patient," Jarhead said. "I hope this won't be too uncomfortable for you."

"Just... be gentle Jarhead," Korda said softly, afraid.

"Can you believe this shit? I wonder if it was the writer or the pencil artist who draped the two of this out like this," Martienne said, lifting her head and talking to the players not involved in the scene. Korda and Jarhead did not hear, or course.

Jarhead began with Korda's bare feet, rubbing one, then massaging his way upward smoothly and gently, slowing as he reached her upper thighs. He paused as his fingers reached close to her tasty bits, and I asked Penny, "How much of their bodies are covered by this stuff? And is it between them?"

"Every square inch," Penny said gleefully. "Oh, and they are adhered together, too, come to think of it."

"Terrible," Jarhead murmured, as he massaged between Korda's legs very thoroughly. She sighed happily. I had a thought as Jarhead undid the snaps closing the crotch of the bikini. "Penny? If I undo her clothes, does the webbing come away with the clothes, or stick to their bodies?"

"Uhhh," Penny mused, caught off guard. She decided to follow my lead. "It is much easier to remove the clothes than the webbing itself, and the webbing comes away if you loosen or remove the garments."

Well. Isn't that convenient?

The crotch of her chainmail bikini opened, I took another moment to caress her utterly bald lips. Korda hissed happily, but stayed in character. "Oh my! That's... swell. But didn't sticky stuff go away with armor?"

Jarhead chuckled. "I'm just checking for any stray strands that worked their way underneath. I'd hate for you to feel an unfortunate... tug," he reassured Korda, before moving to work his hands up her other leg. They were such powerful, shapely legs... When he got back up to her tight, powerful ass once more, he massaged every exposed centimeter free of the netting, then unbuckled the side of the chainmail bottom.

Both women chuckled at this.

He worked the mail garment free of Korda's hips and from between them both, leaving her body naked from the ribcage down. At least Geri had not insisted on claiming Korda was bushy down there, so we all did not have to imagine that she wasn't shaven, like we did with Frenoria.

Jarhead could not resist leaning down to kiss gently at her lower back. Korda could move her legs now and they wriggled with pleasure, and then wiggled harder once he was unable to resist gently licking up the base of her spine.

"Well, would you look at that," Penny said. "Seems like human saliva is a solvent for the webbing. It practically melts away under a tongue."

All three of us looked over at her. She smiled. We were welcome.

Martienne looked up at the group again. "See what I mean? I hope the barbarian comes before he licks her completely free, or I'm going to have to lie here, alone and still glued to the floor while they fuck themselves silly."

I snorted at that. Not likely I'm leaving you out of this, Anne.

Jarhead did, however, lick his way around the outlines of Korda's bikini top, then gently worked it free as well. I was honestly not sure if naked Geri bent over atop Anne was actually an improvement over chainmail bikini-wearing Geri bent over atop Anne.

Bullshit, but I hope you get my point.

"I slowly get free," thundered Korda enthusiastically. "Lick faster, Marine Man!"

"That's what she said," laughed Craig, to general merriment.

I'll admit that Jarhead didn't quite lick every square inch of Korda's sleek barbarian form, but he gave it a good try. He even made sure that all the parts covered by the bikini were free of any stray adhesive that might have worked its way underneath. Korda wanted me to check between her legs once more, but Jarhead really wanted to get to freeing Anne as well. She had quite good-naturedly lay there while Jarhead molested Korda, and I wanted to... well, Jarhead wanted to molest Martienne too.

He began to run his tongue down under Korda and between her and Martienne, staring with her hips and ass, naturally. It was a lot of fun licking into the tightly pressed together flesh of Korda's breasts and Martienne's flat stomach.

"Don't come home tonight with a green tongue," Tess caroled with laughter.

"Don't worry," Craig chuckled, and I looked up in time to see him drape that long tongue of his out for inspection. It was normal colored. "See? It doesn't transfer."

The audience may have been laughing, but Jarhead was getting back to work.

The rest of freeing Korda did not take long, since no one was interested in me lingering over the less exciting bits like her arms. At last, Jarhead tugged her remaining hand free, and Korda sat up languidly.

"Freedom feel good. Getting freed felt better," she uttered in her primitive dialect. Then she wrapped her arms around Jarhead and kissed him in enthusiastic thanks.

When her hand slid down his bare chest and found its way into and under the waistband of his camo pants, he broke off the kiss and put a hand on her wrist. She did not let go of his cock.

"Uh, Korda? We still need to free Martienne," Jarhead said, though not with much conviction.

Korda looked down at the fuming green alien. "Her? She comfortable. We free her later," she said, hand still moving inside Jarhead's pants.

"Horny bitch," Martienne said to the crowd. "Now that I don't have to worry about killing her accidentally, I rip my way free of the webbing with all my Anger Strength™, so I can kill her intentionally," she added, turning her head toward Penny.

"You struggle mightily, but even your strength is not enough," Penny says. "It's good tech."

"See?" Jarhead said to Korda. "Martienne is not comfortable. I like your ideas, but maybe I should free her first?" Korda reluctantly removed her hand from his pants.

I exchanged a quick grin with Anne as Jarhead looked down at Martienne, trying to work out how to have the most fun freeing the alien. Because Jarhead meant to have as much fun with it as he could manage. Did alien's have green tanlines?

Then the ex-marine paused. He looked down at the alien, then back at the barbarian warrior, and smiled. "So, Korda," he drawled in his rural accent, "how's about you help me lick our teammate free?"

Both women looked at me wide-eyed.

We had dabbled here and there with two of one sex and one of another, but it had always been where the two had not really interacted with each other much, except for Penny and Anne's first experience with me. And that had just been a kiss.

I was suggesting a major escalation. I'll be honest here, I had wanted to see something like this for a while. I sensed that maybe this had been part of Penny's plan, since I was pretty damned sure she'd have been down for it had she been there on the floor with me. And I was happy to find a time to push it where it was both not my responsibility, and my wife was not one involved, since I still had absolutely no read on her opinions on the subject.

I did wait for an answer, as I wanted to avoid anything uncomfortable. They could easily still laugh it off. For my part, Jarhead was tugging off Maritenne's shoes and then kissing his way up her exposed flesh to the hem of the yoga pants at mid-calf.

Korda and Martienne looked at each other, and everyone, including me, kept a close eye on them. Suddenly a smile flashed between them. Uncertain, but a smile.

With a shrug, Korda said, "Sound fun. I help. Hope you no taste too good, alien girl, or Korda eat you!"

That brought gales of laughter for most everyone, except Geri, who had not really meant to say what she had.

Martienne looked up one last time. "I don't know whether to be turned on or terrified."

Whether that was Martienne breaking the Fourth Wall that time or just Anne talking, I neither knew nor cared. I started to run my hands up the silky, tight fabric of her purple yoga pants, but then decided to leave them for later (and maybe for Korda?)

Instead, Jarhead moved up to lean over Martienne's incredibly green face. He looked down on her and said simply, "Sorry it took so long. Working together, we will have you free in short order."

The alien looked back up at him. "Not too short an order, I hope," she said softly.

Jarhead decided to start with Martienne's mouth and face. He even checked carefully inside her mouth with his tongue. A Marine learns to be thorough, you know.

He suddenly felt Korda's face next to his, and her lips pushing him gently aside to kiss Martienne's lips in turn. It was delicate at first, but was hotter than hell in seconds. Jarhead just grinned and worked his lips and tongue down to the base of the green throat, tonguing the hollow there carefully.

Only I could hear the two of them whispering to each other, under cover of making out.

"What now?" hissed Geri.

"Up to you," replied a much more confident-sounding Anne. "If I taste good enough, you could carry through on your promise..."

Geri snorted, then looked incredulously at Anne. "Are you serious?!?" she hissed.

Anne kissed her again. I saw lots of tongue... from both of them. "It wouldn't be for the first time for me, either way."

Geri giggled, then goggled. "Ohmigod, Mark would die!"

"Craig will die too," Anne replied, and I noticed that she did not employ the conditional. "If you do it right, I'll sort of die as well!"

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Wow.

Korda just kept staring at Martienne's bland expression and very flushed face. Jarhead just moved lower, knowing his input was neither welcome, nor wise. Besides, he was eager to bury his face in all that green alien cleavage and work the front of Martienne's vest over with his hands in anticipation of peeling it open and free.