Dying Heartache

For three weeks at a push, I was able to get around, go out for lunch with friends who called and took me. After that I remained in the hospice. I didn't sleep a lot but liked to be taken to the gardens at sunrise and sunset. Some were spectacular.

I did speak with Peter. The Police had called looking for me (via Cheryl) regarding an assault on Thompson. I'd no knowledge and the staff said I wasn't well enough to leave the building or my room without assistance. The fact I was becoming increasingly yellow as it had spread from my pancreas to my liver and beyond meant they believed me.

Peter denied any knowledge either. I suppose time changes how one feels but I told Peter that despite what I'd said before he wasn't to verbally assault Amanda. Just do what he had to do as executor. I wasn't going to waste the little time I had left on anger at Bentley either.

Four days later Peter had called in after his work. We were watching the sunset when to both our surprises my parents came to me.

Dad said, "Charlie, why didn't you tell us? We were visiting our neighbour and she said you were in the not for long in this world wing. The staff said you were out here."

I looked at them especially my mother who coloured, "You chose Amanda over me. Why would I tell you? My arrangements are made. I won't be such a disappointment to you for much longer."

Dad tried but I just said, "Leave. You don't get to salve your guilt." I turned away from them as they walked away. I saw their reflections in the glass as they looked at me for the last time. They made their choice.

Maybe I did still harbour some anger!

Two nights later, Peter and I were in the gardens watching a spectacular sunset. It was a warm evening. There had been a Saharan storm and the prevailing wind brought so much sand north, high in the atmosphere, the colours in the sky were amazing. We were pointing out different cloud formations.

Peter said, "You're shivering, I'll get another blanket."

As he walked away, I watched what appeared to be a firestorm in the sky. My eyes closed.

Epilogue.

Peter:

I returned with the blanket to find Charlie had died. He was smiling. He found so much joy in that sunset I was happy for him as his suffering was over. He tried to keep it from his friends but he did suffer though the hospice staff were amazing.

As directed his body went for medical research. Hopefully, they'll find the evidence he talked about to help others. There was no funeral though we did hold a session in his pub where his friends told stories about him. Some he'd have been embarrassed to hear. Skinny dipping with a set of twins. Letting out one of the biggest ever farts at a quiet point in school assembly. How he was always there to help others.

No one mentioned Amanda or his parents.

I registered his death and asked for four death certificates for his work, insurances to prove his death. I began collating all his stuff for the Sheriff Court as per his will. I didn't have much to do as he had it all almost complete on the computer he made me take when he entered the hospice.

It was with a very heavy heart I approached his old home, the one he shared with Amanda. I had to give her a death certificate to claim on their insurance. It was survivor only. It would pay off the mortgage unfortunately. She could always put a red bulb over the front door even if it didn't.

Amanda answered the door. She looked fairly sad yet angry, "If Charlie has asked you to ask if he can come back, he can fuck off. He had his chance."

I said calmly, "It's not why I'm here. Can I come in and I'll explain?" Her words changed what I was going to say. Sorry Charlie!

I sat across from her. She was the one woman we all desired but knew we'd never get to hold. How jealous we were of Charlie when he managed to persuade her to go out with him. Now no one would ever touch her again from our crowd. Her beauty was skin deep only.

I spoke calmly, firmly, maybe some element of anger which her eyes showed she picked up on. "When Charlie and you got together, none of us believed what we were seeing. Such a beautiful woman with him. As we got to know you we felt he was so lucky. You were intelligent, caring, not above yourself, had a sense of fun, joined in with everything we all did. Latterly when out with the group, you showed him so little attention, no love just belittled everything he did. You enjoyed the effect of your cruel words had on him but you had to go further to demean him.

"We saw he was so unhappy. When he started to cry out in pain, you accused him of being a drama queen. "He was pitiful" you said. Had you done the loving thing and told him to see his doctor things might not be as they are. (Okay, Charlie said even if he'd gone at the first sign it was probably touch and go if he survived but the whore didn't need to know that.)

"The day you so casually threw your marriage away telling him you were going to fuck your boss, Charlie had just come from the hospital where a loving wife would have been with him, to hold him." My voice was definitely angry, "As he was told he was terminally ill."

Her eyes opened wide as her jaw dropped. Tears began forming but I wasn't in the mood to sugar coat anything.

"He was going to tell you that evening but you put your selfish need to abuse him over him as had become the norm. He decided you didn't need to know. We've supported him, been with him throughout. I was with him as he died, where his loving wife should have been but the selfish whore she is was with her boss no doubt!

"Now, I have to do as he requested in his will. This is the death certificate you'll need to claim for the insurance on your mortgage. His work death in benefits he replaced you with the Pancreatic Cancer Charity. He didn't like your work in benefits. His share of the house is willed to his two nephews. I'll let his brother know. You can decide how to proceed between you. I'll wait three weeks before I have the solicitor change the title deeds so you can advise me.

"He never put in the divorce papers as he wouldn't live long enough to see it happen. We had a good party as he spent that money wisely.

"We all agree we were so wrong about you. Charlie should have had a loving wife to tend him, care for him, love him. You lost a really good man for a worthless bastard."

Amanda looked at me tears streaming down her face. I walked away my disgust for her clear.

Later I spoke with a few friends of Charlie's including Norman who works at Amanda's work. He told us that Bentley's wife was just as bad, if not worse than him. Bentley was trying to get Amanda to leave as she wasn't fun anymore. No one had seen her smile since Charlie left her. Some of the more devious ones amongst us suggested a plan to fuck the Bentley's. We'd need to do some research. I saw some smiles go between a few who had been late to a party the night Thompson was assaulted. Not that anyone told the Police that.

Three days later, I was outside Bentley's home. I wasn't sure what reception I'd get if any. When she answered the door, I introduced myself and asked if she knew her husband had been fucking his secretary?

She laughed, "He fucks all his secretaries. Who the fuck cares about them?"

I said softly, "Don't you care in the slightest that her husband was told she was going to be your husband's whore on the day he'd been told he had terminal cancer? Your husband destroyed his marriage for a pitiful fuck."

She fucking laughed, "Who cares about the little people. She's a whore and he's a loser. We'll enjoy our life." She slammed the door.

"Not for long," I thought. I called Norman and told him, "Plan B!"