E-Mails From The Rim

I pulled up to the restaurant a little before 7:00pm, let the valet park my car, and went into the bar looking for the girls. They weren’t there yet. I ordered up a Perrier and began looking around—hey, force of habit. Who knows? I might see something really interesting and blow the girls off. Imagine having to deal with three of them at once and one of them is my sister! Who was I kidding? Getting a chance to meet Lydia was worth it.

Nothing going on at all! I checked with the “maitre d’ “ who told me that our reservation was for 7:30 and just then they rolled in.

I recognized Erika first—of course. My little sister looked like your quintessential high school cheerleader, blonde, bouncy, big smile, twittering away a mile a minute about—well about just everything.

I spotted Lania on Erika’s right. I had remembered Lania as being good looking but in a subdued sense—quiet, almost shy. Then again I hadn’t seen her when she was all dressed up and out on the town. She had that Sandra Bullock look—tallish, slender, very smooth, very tan--very nice!

But there was Lydia! Ooooh! Ten megawatt Lydia! She was shorter than her sister and, a little rounder, with short hair (a page-boy cut, I guess), and those flashing eyes, and that incandescent smile and that talent for getting people to focus on her—something that served her well in the courtroom, I am sure. She was something!

We wound up sitting in one of those private booths. I got stuck in the corner, directly across from Erika, with Lania sitting next to me across from her sister. I would have liked to be sitting across from Lydia so I could make my moves without having to talk across a conversation between Lania and Erika. Oh Well! Life is like that.

The girls were in good form. I don’t know if they got a head start on the evening or if there was some female synchronicity but they were all chatty and funny and vivacious—even the supposedly subdued Lania. They each had a drink before dinner while I finished off my Perrier. And they got a little sillier. Erika snuggled up to Lydia and told her she’d light her cigarette for her if only the restaurant allowed smoking. Lydia laughed and blushed—honest to god blushed. Lania chimed in, “Light her cigarette? Light her fire? You sure don’t want to leave that to your brother?” They all collapsed into a pool of near-tears laughter.

I didn’t know what was so funny. It is terrible being triple teamed by three women who are in the know. I was beginning to feel like the odd man out, which was exactly why I didn’t think this arrangement was such a good one to begin with.

I tried to make some conversation with Lania while Erika and Lydia tried to exorcise their giggling demons. Funny, I hadn’t really thought about Lydia as a giggler--rather out of character for a counselor at law. Anyway, I started asking Lania about her and Dirk.

This girl was in love! I could tell it the moment I mentioned Dirk’s name. She absolutely glowed when she talked about him. Dirk this and Dirk that; Dirk did this and Dirk said that. Man! She had it bad. I was sincere in my questions but Erika and Lydia sat across the table fawning and mugging at each other in an exaggerated imitation of how they thought Lania was behaving about Dirk. I felt a little bad for Lania.

We ordered dinner and wine with dinner. The girls joked that, since I wasn’t drinking, there would be an extra glass for each of them. I ordered a lobster tail and a filet mignon. If they were going to subject me to this ordeal, I was going to get my money’s worth.

Things calmed down a little when the meal came. I think the wine mellowed the ladies out somewhat. And, of course, the food was excellent well worth the devotion of some solemn attention. Lydia ordered scampi and Erika ordered a lemon and garlic chicken dish. Lydia sampled some of Erika’s dish and Erika sampled some of Lydia’s. To be precise, Lydia fed Erika bits of her scampi and Erika fed Lydia some of her chicken while they cooed about the chef’s wonderful technique.

Lania just ordered a salad, a chicken Caesar salad but with out he creamy Caesar dressing. She said she preferred the lighter raspberry vinaigrette. She picked away at her food while the rest of us ate lustily. I asked her if she was feeling O.K. and she said she was all right it was just that she would have liked to have Dirk at dinner with her.

The topic of conversation turned to Gary. All three of the girls knew him. It seems that Gary was an organizer of a splinter group of the Gay Rights movement. Lydia had represented him in the case that wound him up in prison, Lania knew him through Lydia and Dirk, and Erika had met him through Lydia, too. They all thought very highly of him as being a man of principle. There was much that Lydia couldn’t say because she had represented him—attorney/client privilege, you know. Erika said that Gary’s probation file was lodged in her office but she couldn’t handle it personally because of her association with Lydia. I wasn’t quite clear as to why that might be.

The ladies each had a couple of cognac’s after dinner and they regained their jocularity along with it. They ceremoniously paid the bill--a large one--dividing the charges among their three credit cards, as only women are wont to do. I am sure they split things down to the mil, too.

We had taken a long time with dinner. It was almost 11:00 when we walked out of the restaurant. As we stood waiting for the valet to deliver our cars, we tried to decide about where to go next. Things were beginning to wear on me; I was ready to go home. The thought of nightclubbing with these three didn’t seem like a great prospect. I suggested we just go to my place schmooze. Maybe I would have a better chance at cornering Lydia there rather than trying to compete with loud music in the clubs and two other women.

Much to my surprise they all agreed! O.K.!! “Let’s go.” I said as the valet drove my car up. I opened the passenger door and motioned for Lydia to get in. “Hey, Lania! Why don’t you ride with the guest of honor?” Lydia chimed in, “I’ll ride over with Erika.” Lania agreed—and I couldn’t get Lydia or Erika to agree otherwise.

On the way over to my place Lania again seemed to be a little subdued.

“You O.K.?” I asked her.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” As she responded, her lip was almost quivering. “I mean, I feel like I can talk to you.”

I waited and she began.

“I am worried about Dirk. We have been going together for almost a year now. Two months ago he moved in and then things seemed to change. I really think that, since he figured he had me secured, he is out gallivanting around again. You’re a guy. What do you think?”

“I really don’t know. I don’t know him at all other than having met him the other day. He seems like a good sort.” I lied on that one. He was unmistakably a rounder but who was I to spring that on his girlfriend. “I am sure it is just getting used to living with someone. That takes a lot of accommodation and time. I’d take it easy and not jump to conclusions right away.”

She didn’t seem consoled and we drove the rest of the way to my place in silence. It was almost midnight when we arrived. Lania and I got there first. I walked up the steps and opened the apartment door. I tried to be quiet because I didn’t know if Gary might be there sleeping and I didn’t want to disturb him.

I went inside and Lania followed me. I switched on the living room light. That turned out to be a bad move. There, sitting on the couch, was Gary stark naked with his legs apart and his head leaned back in rapture. And between his legs with his back to us, also as naked as naked could be, with his head bobbing up and down on Gary’s prodigious cock was—Dirk!!

Lania let out a shriek, “DIRK!!! What is this?”

Dirk jumped up and turned around to face us, his tumid but rapidly deflating phallus wagging in front of him. “What are you guys doing here?” he gasped, genuinely shocked. Old Mr. Smoothie was crumbling before my very eyes.

At about this time, the door opened behind us and in walked Erika and Lydia. It took them about five seconds to size up the situation and then the both broke down laughing hysterically. Lania was distraught and started to run out the door. I grabbed her by the arm. “Wait a minute, Lania. Let’s see what IS going on here.”

In an attempt at modesty, Dirk had grabbed his jockey shorts and slipped them on over his softening prick. Gary just sat there on the couch with his legs crossed and his genitals hanging out savoring the wicked humor of the situation.

Lydia managed to blurt out between her peals of laughter, “Gary! You devil! You scored another one!” Gary just smiled.

Erika was hanging on Lydia with her arm around Lydia’s neck, with her face buried against Lydia’s shoulder laughing so hard that she was crying.

“This calls for a drink!” announced Lydia.

“Sorry, Lyd. No booze in this house.” I responded.

“I know, I know. Erika told me.” She smirked, “That’s why we stopped and bought this!” She produced a bottle of very, very old cognac and headed toward the kitchen to find some glasses.

I still had hold of Lania’s arm so I led her over to the chair and sat her down. “Hang on sweetie.” I said, “I think we are going to get some explanations.”

Dirk had retrieved his shirt and slacks and was in the process of putting them on as he addressed his remarks to the group. Old silver tongue Dirk was a good bit more than a little tongue-tied.

Lydia had just come back from the kitchen carrying a tray with four coffee mugs on it.

“Coffee anyone?” she cooed. “Oh, sorry. No coffee yet-- it’s still brewing. But there’s some cognac in each one of these for anyone who wants it.”

“Lydia, you know the story. In fact, you started the whole thing.” Dirk sputtered.

“Me?” Lydia shot back, “I was just doing the best for my client, Dirky baby!”

“C’mon Lyd. You gotta help me out here.” Dirk pleaded.

Lydia set the tray down, and picked up a mug; Erika followed suit and so did Lania. Dirk eyed the fourth mug but decided against it. Lydia tossed down the contents with one swallow; Erika started to nurse hers; and Lania took a couple of sips and then put the mug back on the tray.

“O.K., Dirk.” Lydia said affirmatively, “I’ll tell these folks what I know. But the rest is up to you.”

“You see, “ She addressed the group, “Gary was one of my friends as well as one of my clients. We knew each other from the activist days at the Gay & Lesbian Center. So, when he screwed up that protest march with the traffic signal snafu, I did the best I could for him in court. He still got three years in prison but I told him I’d make sure he’d get the best chance he could once he got out.

“Now, Dirk here is the best in his business. He gets folks into halfway houses and living situations that no one else could swing. He has got political connections coming out his ears, not to mention political aspirations, but all with the straight community. I tried to sweet talk him into working with Gary but he was reluctant because of the notoriety of Gary’s screw up. And it didn’t help that one of the people hurt in Gary’s fiasco was the wife of a city councilman. Gary didn’t want to jeopardize that connection. I tried to explain to Dirk that having pull with the Gay and Lesbian community couldn’t hurt him one little bit politically

“And, you know? I couldn’t give Dirk a sexual come on because Dirk knows I am gay.”

(Lydia was GAY?!!! Oh Jesus, NO!! How did I miss that one!!)

“I knew that Dirk was a cocksman extraordinaire but I suspected that he might also have some bi-sexual tendencies which could work in my favor. You see, I knew Gary and I knew he could charm the jock off of just about any guy, so I arranged for Dirk to visit Gary in prison just before Gary was to be paroled.

“It worked! Dirk became infatuated with the “Gary Project” hoping that he might somehow straddle the political fence by establishing ties with the Gay and Lesbian community and that might offset the potential rancor of the city council.

“Dirk turned himself inside out to get Gary into the right halfway house, arranged for him to interview with some not notch small companies, and worked on getting Gary references so Gary could rent an apartment.

“I didn’t think it would happen exactly this way. I thought Dirk would just be enamored of the cause but, in truth, Dirk became infatuated with Gary himself. I don’t know exactly when Dirk and Gary got down with each other but I am guessing it was a month or so ago—unfortunately after Dirk had moved in with my sister. I hated to see Lania’s happiness jeopardized like that but Gary’s situation was that important.”

I glanced over at Lania who was looking pale and shaky. I handed her back her mug of cognac and motioned for her to take a swig. She did and looked a little better for it.

“So, there you have it. One thing led to another. Now here we were to witness the blossoming of a beautiful friendship—I give you Gary and Dirk!!” She laughed a little and flounced down on the far end of the couch with more than a little dramatic flourish.

While all this was happening, Gary just stood there barefoot in his slacks and unbuttoned dress shirt with his arms folded and his mouth open. It dawned on him that he’d been set up—big time!

“So, you bitch, “ he spat at Lydia, “You figured that somehow I’d be worried about getting ‘outed’ by Gary and that would help your cause? You thought you’d have that cinch around my nuts and would twist it so I would do what ever you wanted to help your agenda?

“Well let me tell you something, my little dyke, “ he used ‘dyke’ like a jab, “You can take yourself and your blonde bimbo girlfriend over there and lick each other’s clits until they fall off before that happens!”

(Blonde bimbo girlfriend? Who? Oh, Shit! He wasn’t talking about Erika, was he? My sister a lesbian? How come I didn’t see THAT ONE coming either? I though back to the scene at the restaurant: Erika and Lydia all huggy, and feely, and feeding each other—Of course!! How could I have missed that one?)

While all this was taking place, Gary just sat on the couch—stark naked and smiling. Now I noticed that his hand had moved to his lap and that he was beginning to play with his cock. Man! That takes balls—literally. And you know what? He was starting to get a hard-on!!

“Well, I am here to tell you, sweetie pie, “ Dirk continued, “No one is going to threaten to ‘out’ me. And no one is going to be ‘outing’ me either.”

Dirk turned to look at Gary. “I am here to tell you that I love that man there. No one is going to ‘out’ anyone. I am going to ‘out’ myself. And my little dyke baby,“ he looked back at Lydia again, “You are going to have your hands full trying to keep my agenda from swamping yours.”

“C’mon, lover.” He said to Gary eyeing Gary’s tumescent penis, “Let’s go to bed!”

Gary got up from the couch, put his arm around Dirk’s waist, and gave Dirk a kiss on the neck. They moved like a couple dancing toward the hallway and down to the spare bedroom. They closed the door behind them. One can only imagine what happened thereafter.

Lydia laughed, got up from the couch and strode into the kitchen. I looked at Lania who was sitting in the chair with her head in her hands and walked over and put my hand on her shoulder. Erika just looked around seeming to be totally befuddled by the situation. It was one of the few times that I ever saw her speechless

Lydia swept back into the room carrying the half full bottle of cognac. She popped off the cork and tossed it onto the coffee table then sloshed some more liquor into the coffee mugs.

She downed hers in one swallow, looked at Erika and said, “Baby, drink up! We aren’t driving anywhere tonight. Let’s go to bed.” She looked at me, “I am sure after all this, that your brother will let us use his bedroom.”

Erika stood up and took Lydia’s hand and gave her a tender kiss on the neck. With that, Lydia took Erika, my sweet little sister, by the hand and led her down the hallway to my bedroom and closed the door behind them. Again, one can only imagine what happened thereafter.

I sat down on the couch where Lydia had been and looked over at Lania. She looked up at me and I could see tear stained embarrassment and grief on her face. I patted the couch beside me, motioning her to come over and sit with me.

She came over and sat down next to me. She leaned over and put her cheek against my chest. She was still crying and I could feel her tears moistening my shirt as I stroked her dark and shiny hair.

“I like that Sandra Bullock look!” I said to myself as we sat there. “I could really get used to it!”

Mom, I think you are going to like her, too!!!