All Comments on 'Earning a Name'

This was an extremely well done story, with lots of variation and nuance in the character development. That said, for me at least, the whole Cupid aspect really didn't add much other than a touch of schmaltz, and it was more distracting than compelling. I particularly liked the parallel of cancer with the MC and Fredo, and it helped portray a truly realistic bonding process.

This was lovely. Thank you.

Pretty well done story overall, and I have to tip my hat to you for riding 14 lit pages.

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It was interesting to read perspective on cancer from both a little boy and a grown man; you certainly drew Alfredo and Wade together pretty well- - and in addition to way tutoring him in math--there was no way the two would ever be separated. Additionally, you parallel developing both Dia's and Wade's character equally from what I could tell. It was interesting that from the time Wade first tried to approach her until the time the store is resumed that 12 years passed; it doesn't hurt any at all that she runs a popular restaurant with absolutely delicious food. It certainly didn't hurt that you had a Cupid and assistants nursing this attraction/relationship along: why that's important is because in the 16th century, the wide belief was gods blindly and capriciously either blessed or cursed people for no apparent reason; you spin this as an active enterprise, trying to make sure they both give each other a fair chance, and that certain circumstances don't present more of a stumbling block than they should. I don't fault any or much about how story developed their relationship, since most of it was very plausible and very believable. Additionally, you wrap up how the one Cupid finally got his name, which was quite appropriate as much as it was cute and well considered. You also invested a fair effort in making Dia more authentic- - certainly by showing her Boricuan Pride through the huge flag on the side of the restaurant--as well as carrying on the tradition of her mother's and fathers restaurant. Furthermore, you kind of included enough of an explanation to justify why she did not speak Spanish, as you listed the dad spoke perfect english; this told me or at least implied to me that the dad somewhere down the line did not emphasize to her that speaking Spanish would be useful for her. While it is true that in the island of Puerto Rico that they speak both Spanish and English, it's actually Spanish that's far more spoken than English.. and usually English is not spoken well there. I certainly appreciate you pushing Wade to learn Spanish, if only to try to get in better with her parents, as certainly it kind of follows he should because he loves the mofongo so much.. and consequently if he is going to really enjoy her as much as he already is, he's going to learn the language and appreciate the experience.

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I'll tell you up front that I rated the story a five, although there are a few things that structurally from what the story used, that does lower the rating a shade in a few areas. First of all, the subtitle specifies the cupid department if you will is trying to basically get Wade and Dia together- - and to ensure that they stay together - - aside from all the ups and downs that they're going to experience. Applying that structural limitation led me to expect that basically after Wade beat his cancer and Alfredo beat his, that effectively it was going to be a happy ever after. So more or less it seems to me the story could have been shortened 2 pages and had the same punch if you will. I really didn't see the necessity of ensuring Alfredo and Clem married down the line, although it was a cute touch; how you structure your story though implied that, and cutting it off sooner could have certainly given readers enough evidence to assume Alfredo and Clementine would indeed marry and also be happy. It seemed for whatever reason that basically Wade and Dia had to marry in order to produce the girl, which I also maintain that once the girl was born that she was going to achieve whatever she was going to achieve. While yes the dad might have been a little upset with Dia being pregnant first before she was married.. it was obvious it was Dia's mistake that caused it, and the irony is that Wade was always trying to take precautions. For him to be upset with Wade and not his daughter- - even assuming a very traditional background for the parents - - doesn't add up; this is especially explained by the fact that new way to since high school, and she would have been talking to her parents regularly- - meaning they perfectly knew about Wade, how he thought, and what he was doing for Dia. Therefore there really shouldn't have been any rage at all against Wade. Finally, I noticed there was some type of situation past their initial big hurdle that really seemed completely unnecessary for Wade and Dia to have to overcome, and I'm not talking about Martin running into the catering truck and destroying her parents restaurant. I always caution people, because there was a movement started back in 1996 for soap operas to needlessly torture main characters two and three times past the initial main conflict that was meant to humble them and make them more sympathetic if you will.. and that happens in the story. However, mentioning the former conflict the story resolves, it resolves it plausibly and amicably: I love how you involve the city in pitching in to reconstruct things; I also love to tell you provided for the restaurant to have a larger space for the kitchen and dining area- - and you explained it well to boot. 4.6

I really enjoyed this story and it held my attention right to the end. The three main characters are well drawn and the dialogue and interactions between them is credible. In part, there is a great deal of emotion - anxiety, fear, love, etc. - sometimes the reader feels as if they are going through the wringer along with the characters. But, you manage to lighten things up for them (and for us).

The device of using Cupid initially confused me - it took me a while to pick up the parallel nature of the two story lines. I agree with some of the comments that Cupid is unnecessary for the story. However, the device allows reflections on the nature of love, its unlikeliness between any two people, serendipity, timing, etc. By the end, I found myself appreciating 542 and Angela's contribution to the overall story.

Very well done and thank you

No words. Perfect.

Many writers would have descended into maudlin, trivial tear jerking prose. You didn't, you kept the understandable stress level high enough to warrant our serious concern for the characters. All in all one of the most enjoyable, stressful, lovable stories I've read in quite a while. A well earned 5 stars!

Spectacular story. Cupid 542 is a cool story line.

Fantastic. Simply fantastic.

Contrary to my comment on Something Better, I thought Cupid and Angela was the best part of this story. For all that Cupid protested that the path was perilous, Wade and Dia were always going to work out.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐