Echo 01

Echo 01

Well, hello there, I'm Earl Chowders, or Echo for short and I have the absolute luxury of being kept in the loop and accepted by a handful of people, even when one of my claims of fame is to keep my nose in everybody else's business. But more by listening and observing than just being a Chatty Catty. And that's not just because Chatty Catty scares me, but because there seems to be a rule about how many Chatty Catty's each city can claim.

So, I wish I was a tad, tad, tad thinner for my height, but I'm not too bad, it's how thin my hair is that bothers me, but on the reverse of that, I can sprout a tight, tight, tight ponytail and often do that.

Anyways, my story starts today with a recent weekend event that I weaseled my way into as a supporter and I want all of you to know that I pull my fair when invited to join in with all that fun. I am not a free riding weekend loafer and I have no problem of being the eyes and ears to ground or whatever the needs are.

With limits, of course because there's always that one apple in the basket that firmly believes that when a Boi wears lip gloss, then that must mean that he-she is willing to pull his weight while side seat riding to the resort, right? You know that rotten apple, right? He's nice enough and fairly harmless, but he just keeps digging into his memory scrapbook full of bad apple seed stories in the hopes that one of his bad memory stories will get his weight pulled during the hour drive to the amateur track meet trials and that's not going to happen. And yeah, yeah, yeah, I know darn well that Frank wants me to pull his weight the other way, but I just can't let that vision into my mental memory scrapbook! I mean, maybe with somebody someday, but not with Frank.

"Yeah, but, Echo, I mean, but Echo, what about that time when I took you fishing with me and guys as our cheerleader supporter, huh?"

"Oh, Frank, you mean the time you and the guys hung me by the back of my shorts on hook that was on the back of the cabin bedroom door for the entire Saturday afternoon, I mean, that time, hmm?"

"Oh, yeah, that's a bad example, Echo, so, I mean, oh, what about that time when I gave you 100% credit for figuring out how to drain the ice melt water out of the cooler's drain tube thingy after Jill's sprinter race thingy, huh, what about that time, Echo?"

"Frank, you mean the time you took my new cork wedge shoes and propped up the cooler up at an angle to let the water drain run out of the tube thingy because as I remember it, the cooler smashed the straps on my new wedged shoes and deformed the cork heels!"

"Oh, that may also be a bad example, but hey, Echo, what about that time when you helped me win a scout badge in knot tying, oh, tee he, that's a really bad example, um..."

Tee he, a really, really bad example, folks, but what a photo! And a highlight moment in my memory scrapbook! But, I mean, ahem.

"I mean, Frank, you're scrambling with your poor memory tricks again, so, um, did you forget about that time we met up at the mall that one time since you're grasping for straws, hmm?"

"Ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah, Echo, that one time when we ran into to each other at the mall and then you said "Frank, these are nice jeans, right" and then I said "yeah" and then you said "will you watch the dressing room door for me while I try them on" and then I said "yeah" and then you mumbled "wiggle, shimmy, wiggle, shimmy, wiggle, shimmy" and then I said "what" and then you said "I need a little help with the button, Frank" and then I said "oh, Miss, a little help please" and then you said "you're an idiot, Frank" and then I said "yeah" and then the worker Miss lady said as she exited the dressing room "huh, I thought all guys liked dressing room blow jobs" and then I said "what" and then she said "you're an idiot" and then I said "yeah" and then, hey, wait a minute!"

I mean, I've heard that dressing room blow jobs are the best blow jobs because of the half in public thing. And that's just a "I've heard", folks and not from personal experience and as previously stated, that wouldn't have happened because it was Frank, but I can tease it up pretty good sometimes.

[Jill, the amateur sprinter runner, intervenes]

"Are you two through reminiscing about the good old days that never were, hmm? We have a show and then there's a road and we need to put those two things together, so, get a move on!"

[Echo has one clap back before the show hits the road to the Broken Oaks Resort]

"Tee he, hey, Frank, do you remember that time when you were driving me up to the resort and then I fell asleep in your truck and then my head plopped down on your lap in just the right place and angle, hmm?"

"Wait, what Echo, when was that time because I need to remember that time because that's my dream, Echo, so? And you had a tight ponytail that time, am I right, Echo?"

"Oops, my bad, Frank because that time is in future yet and oddly enough, I'm riding to the resort cabins with Pete today and everybody knows that I get a little sleepy head on long drives, so, that time is yet to come and since I'm riding to the resort with Pete, I mean, I don't know, tee he."

Nope, not with Peter either because that's a friendship thing only, but Peter and I are close enough that I can use him as an excuse from time to time.

[Pardon the interruption from Pete]

"Echo, is this throw pillow big enough for our drive to resort cabins because I remember that time when you told me that you get sleepy head on long drives, so, I did good, right, Echo?"

See, folks? These are the times to be remembered. And if your memory scrapbook is digital, you'll love my voice and if you don't, then I'm probably not for you or your type.

And other than that, nothing happened because I was actually riding in the back seat while Pete's lovely girlfriend, Jill, rode up front with him. And by riding in rear club cab, I mean, poking my head in between the seats and poking into everything, but my own business!

[Packing up the quite large club cab truck for the trip to the resort]

"Echo, what were you chit chatting with my Auntie Lillian about earlier, hmm?"

"Oh, I mean, Jill, I said to your auntie that I couldn't wait to see your resort running sprinter uniform and then she said back to me "Echo, we need your help to get that girl's head in the game this weekend because she hasn't broken the 200 in under 25 seconds yet" and then I said back, back to your auntie "that it's probably Pete's fault because he doesn't rub your legs down enough with olive oil afterwards" and then your auntie said back, back, back to me "Echo, that's way TMI" with an exclamation point and then I said back, back, back, back to your auntie "oops, my bad Auntie Lillian" and then she secretly slipped a brown paper bag to me with a bottle of extra, extra virgin olive oil in it and then she said "ahem, and remind Pete to keep his head out of the game until Jill breaks 25 seconds in the 200" with another exclamation point and then we both giggled, tee he, so?"

Oh, Jill's Auntie Lillian is a bit of a free spirit and a modern woman, so. Oh, and Peter was giggling his ass off the whole time!

"Echo, new rule, no more chit chatting with my naughty Auntie! Exclamation point! But make sure the entire bottle of olive oil ends up in our cabin."

"Exclamation point, Jill?"

"Well, exclamation point minus one application for your little legs just before my meets start tomorrow so you can catch somebody's eye with the shine, Echo, but then exclamation point. Oh, but not an application by my Pete! Who also needs to stop giggling! Especially if he wants to get his head in the game ever again! Exclamation point!"

[Pete is caught with embarrassment]

"Oh, ahem, grumble, gruff, ahem, oh, I mean, um, tee he, I think we're ready to hit it and strip it, I mean, get with it, so, are we ready to vroom?"

"I'm ready, honey."

"I'm ready too. And your Auntie Lillian had a second bottle of olive oil for herself, Jill, so?"

"OMFG, Echo!!!!!! Well, did she let a name slip out? Not that I'm a busy body like you, so?"

LOL, six exclamation points, right? I mean, nobody is a busy body, but they all want to know what you know, right?

[Frank gives it one more shot because he really wants to remember that time when Echo caved in]

"(Beep, beep) it looks pretty crowded in there with three people in a truck designed to carry six people comfortably, so, how about it, Echo, huh?"

[Pete is good at intervening]

"(Psst, what do you want to do, Echo?)"

"(Psst, I want to sleep in Jill's practice running uniform as my nighty night jammies tonight.)"

"(Psst, OMFG, Echo, I meant, psst, do you want to ride with Frank or what?)"

"(Oh, psst, my bad, NO! Vroom away, Peter!)"

[Pete's vroom aways are pretty gentle]

"See you on the road, Frank (honk, honk.)"

[Vroom, vroom, vroom down the highway with the hopes of breaking 25 in the 200]

Huh, but not one other word about my jammies thoughts then, so, huh.

[In the Broken Oaks Resort lobby parking area]

"I mean, what you looking at ground keeper, hmm? Haven't you ever saw a resort guest pretend to struggle with a roller luggage bag before, hmm?"

[Flicks his flower watering hose sideways for a quick spray]

"Oh, is that how you start your resort guest flirting then, hmm? With a sideways spray?"

[Oh, the ground keeper raises his watering hose and makes a hoop loop in the air like a resort archway]

"Oh, I'll find everything about you [sticks tongue out] as the weekend passes because that's what I do!"

So, listen, folks, that wasn't my best move because I've tried a few of those "tongue out" selfies before that doesn't seem to be my thing, unless my thing is selfie failures.

[Inside of the resort lobby at the front desk, I mean, finally, inside of the resort lobby at the front desk]

"Sir, I can help you next, so?"

"Oh, me?"

"Yes, sir, you, the "sir" who brought a spare woman with him to the resort, which I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I can change your cabin reservations from two queen size beds to one California King size bed, so?"

[SOB! Echo has been dying to achieve that shade of cheeks red and Peter gets it for free!]

[SOB!]

"What? No, no, no, no, no! Um, I'm Pete Peterson and girlfriend guest, sprinter Jill Julian, the end. Well, my spare woman is Echo and should have a reservation under Earl Chowders, so, um, ooh, did I just say spare women out loud, tee he?"

"Ahem! You did, honey! Get your head in the game, Pete!"

"Oh, tee he, I guess I did, um, we're here for the amateur sprint track meets, but Echo is always up to meeting nice people, um, tee he, am I still talking?"

"Ahem! Get the cabin keycard, honey!"

"Well, which of your women is the sprinter then, hmm, sir? Because there is a reception for the track people starting in 30 minutes in the community center hut, so, which of your women runs circles around you and which woman runs the bedroom, hmm?"

Well, Pete passed out. But at least he stopped talking.

"I mean, hi, I'm the runner woman and the only woman, so, where were things left off then before my boyfriend passed out, hmm?"

"[Ding, ding, ding] Eugene, please waddle walk the runner's passed out boyfriend to the lobby couch, thank you. So, runner woman with a runner's body, what was your name again, hmm?"

"Oh, I'm Jill..."

"Hold please [ding, ding, ding] Eugene, that's a stagger walk and I said to waddle walk the passed-out boyfriend to the lobby couch [ding, ding, ding!] Sorry, you were saying, Miss, hmm?"

"I mean, before you made my boyfriend pass out and then have him waddle walked to the lobby couch and then pointing out that I'm the only woman, I mean, hi, I'm Jill Julian and..."

"Hold please, Jill Julian [search, search, ahh, there it is] oh, you received a couple "good luck" greetings in advance of your arrival from your auntie, but I've only had a couple of boyfriends, so, I can't read them out loud, so [ding, ding, ding] Taylor, would you please golf cart Miss Jill and her luggage to her cabin and make sure that she gets back to the reception in the community center on time, please? Oh, and do you have any sprinter uniforms that need cleaning or anything, Miss Jill, hmm?"

"(Psst! Yes!)"

"(Psst, shut it, Echo!) I mean, maybe tomorrow after a good night's sleep or something, I mean, I don't know, I mean, no. Anyways, please take good care of the other woman in my life and um, do you have a cabin with a moat around it for Echo because his booty has a following and some side fags are following us down here to the resort for my amateur track meet, so?"

"[Ding, ding, ding] Lester, can you dig a moat around cabin #11 and build a draw bridge in 30 minutes, hmm?"

"(I can't even pull up porn on my phone in 30 minutes!) Kendra, that would be against the resorts policy of digging dirt (without the dirt if that Boi booty will be strutting around all weekend), so?"

"Sorry, ma'am and missy ma'am, no protective moat, so?"

"Oh, oh well, I tried, so, my golf cart driver's name is Taylor then, you say, hmm?"

[Resort golf carts have weak ass sounding horns]

"(Chirp, chirp) your luggage is loaded up, ma'am."

[Whirl, whirl, whirl, away because the reception clock is ticking]

"Hi, I'm Echo and I must be next, so?"

"And you're not a runner then, Echo, hmm? You're just here as a supporter then, hmm?"

"Oh, I run plenty from sexual situations, but that's about it, so?"

"Oh, I used to run from sexual situations too until my first boyfriend showed me a signed affidavit from every man on the planet that certified that they will die without sex, so, I stopped running so much. Well, my first boyfriend, Billy told me about the worldwide signed affidavit since the original document was destroyed by blue fire, so?"

"OMG, are you saying that the fag advances that I reject like all the time have put some peoples lives in jeopardy, hmm?"

"Well (giggles), we woman folk carry a lot of responsibility (giggles) to keep men alive, Echo, so?"

"Well, did the ground keeper guy just outside watering flowers sign the affidavit too because when I was struggling with my roller luggage bag, he smirked at me and waved his water hose spray at me sideways and then I stuck my tongue out at him like a child and then he flicked his water hose stream up in the air like a walk under loop hoop and then he kept his eye me as I rolled my roller bag under the hoop of water, so?"

"Oh, that's the grounds keeper, Todd and I just texted Todd and told him to take his flowering water hose to your cabin #11 and make a wet circle all the way around it like the makings of a sexual advance safety moat, so?"

"Oh, okay, I mean, can Todd the ground keeper, make the swim across the moat later and show me how the propane fireplace inside of my holiday weekend cabin works a little later because I'm pretty sure it has a knob or something that might need to be twisted or something, so?"

"Oh, Echo, I mean, I just texted Todd and reminded him that the first knob notch is blue fire and the second knob notch is yellow and blue fire and that the third knob notch is blue, yellow and red fire, you know, the most romantic for a holiday weekend at the resort during a sprinter challenge, so?"

"Well, what else did you text to this Todd guy then, hmm?"

"Oh, Echo, I just texted it all and told Todd that your normal is probably to peck kiss on the cheeks and that your tongue has probably never broken the seal of your Cupid's Bow pouty lips, so, he might have to quick turn his head sideways during a "thank you" cheek peck and dig for the gold by surprise, so?"

"Well, I mean, what did that Todd guy text you back for that then, hmm?"

"Oh, Todd texted me back and said it's a good thing that you're not a sprinter for this weekend's trials because your hips area may not be in running shape by the morning!"

"(Gulp) I mean, did you just now text that water hooping and looping guy, Todd and tell him that I just gulped out loud while on a hidden resort holiday, hmm?"

"I mean, I just texted Todd a thumbs up emoji and shadow box emoji that clearly implies a blow job when the phone is held upside down, so, is that the same thing, hmm?"

"(Gulp) well, I mean, this might be a disappointing weekend then for that Todd guy because I already said that I run from sexual situations, so, um, are you going to "ding, ding, ding" a golf cart driver for me or do I have to roll my roller bag right past that Todd guy and his spray hose, hmm?"

Well, when the front desk clerk doesn't use her hand on the bell and make it go all "ding, ding, ding", then that's the answer, I guess.

[Roll, roll, roll, roll the luggage bag, roll, roll, roll, right past the water hose guy]

"I mean, hi, Todd and I already know all of your holiday weekend at the resort tricks, so? And I'm Echo and it doesn't matter that I'm Echo the unattached because I have been promised a cabin with the makings of a moat, so, keep your tricks in check, Todd."

"Oh, if you know all of my resort hustling tricks, Echo, then that just cuts our timeline in half and leaves more time for other things, so, if you scream tonight, Echo, will your petite voice echo through the trees so that the owls know that I struck gold, huh?"

"Oh, I don't even know that yet, Todd because I run first and scream second, but I like owls and now all I can think about is sitting out back and watching the owls dive for a drink of water from my cabin's moat and by the way, I think that's my best return flirting ever, so?"

"Oh, so, Echo, I'm winning then as I just heard it, so?"

"Todd, OMG, you're not winning because I only mentioned owls and I didn't say one word about your water hose! And (whew), I need to get a move on because it feels like I'm digging myself into a hole and that guy inside, Lester, just said that dirt digging is against resort policies, so, um, finish squirting your water hose and maybe, and only maybe, we'll run into each other later, so, um, bye."

"Oh, my water hose will be squirting later alright, Echo!"

Oh, there were visions in my head of that alright about his squirting hose! But then it got worse because those visions were in cartoon fashion and not in modern anime style! It was more like some old timey flower farmer chasing someone who was sprinting away while wearing daisy dukes.

"Well, damn it, Todd, which water hose because I'm actually a fraud of a partner and I'm getting all confused right now since the only garden hose I've ever saw is in my side yard and I'm getting the feeling that your water hose squirts a different way and I don't even know where I'm going with this right now, Todd!"

Yeah, I was a bit confused and maybe half seduced, so, I grabbed my roller bag luggage and strolled towards my secluded cabin in my daisy duke shorts.

[Weep, an incoming text]

"Echo, I'm headed to sprinters reception. Also, you're on holiday!"

Oh, I had no idea what Jill meant with that exclamation point, but I did realize that a community center full of sprinters, tee he, increased my odds of trading something for someone's practice sprinter's uniform for my sleeping jammies because I knew Jill would never give me hers. And by the way, that's not weird! Strange, maybe, but not weird, especially when what was weird was how that Todd guy was just outside of my cabin when I flung open the door to waddle walk to the community center.

And by another way, since it was a sprinter's weekend at the resort, it was totally legit of me to change out of my highway driving Denim shorts and into two pairs of Lycra activewear shorts. Totally legit.

[Seemingly spraying water as if to start creating a moat, but not all that organized]

"Oh, that's the booty shape that I like then, Echo, so, you're coming around then, right?"

"Todd, all the coming around I'm doing is for your phone number so I can keep rejecting your advances via text, so?"