All Comments on 'El Paso Faleena'

by Cagivagurl

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  • 26 Comments
Boyd PercyBoyd Percyover 1 year ago

Good story! However, see El Paso stories written by Jake Rivers and others written 15 years.

5

SilvermireSilvermireover 1 year ago

Well now I'm depressed, well written though.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Very enjoyable read. You combined a western with a list of translations and some poetry. That has to be unique. 5*

blackrandl1958blackrandl1958over 1 year ago

Great presentation of the song, and a likely accurate depiction of the life of a woman in the old West. Full marks from me. Randi.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Liked the story but what you translated to mean fuck yourself mean fuck your mother.

drycreeksdrycreeksover 1 year ago

It was hood liked it but wish it would have meshed better with randis.

stev2244stev2244over 1 year ago

I knew how it would end, but it was too well written to not feel sad for them. Great job.

BuzzCzarBuzzCzarover 1 year ago

Great backstory to the lyrics. Translations need some help "Viete a la mierda" is Fuck yourself, "Chinga Tu Madre is Fuck your mother. Trivia, yes I realize. 5* for the story. Poetry doesn't often resonate with me, so that didn't add nor subtract.

Smiffy69Smiffy69over 1 year ago

Not sure what all that was after “caring sweetheart”. Didn’t add anything.

miket0422miket0422over 1 year ago

Enjoyable story. Reading this one immediately after the first chapter the differences between Sinclair's version and Felerna's version at the start of their relationship and the end of the story we're just very jarring. Would have liked them to match up much more re closely.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Story sometimes at odds with first part, and Mexicana's name not even consistent between the title and body of this story.

lujon2019lujon2019over 1 year ago

Interesting, I didnt think Cagivagurl was capable of writing a female character who didnt delight in fucking over the man she claims to love

HarddaysknightHarddaysknightover 1 year ago

I really enjoyed this chapter of the story. Great work from all three of you. This trilogy will stand the test of time. Thanks for the hard work for us readers.

LenardSpencerLenardSpencerover 1 year ago

I thought you had mentioned in the story that Sinclair had taught Feleena how to shoot? If so, why didn't she pull out that gun and, at least, shoot that arsehole "old man" Clinton first, before shooting herself? One must learn how to prioritise.

bhojobhojoover 1 year ago

Chinga Tu Madre - Fuck your mother I believe!.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

"with a hunger so fierce it ate away at me until I could bare it became unbearable." - LOL, I think you got a little mixed up there. "I could bare (bare?)" shouldn't be there.

~~~

"The only problem was his infernal jealousy. - Would she like it if he flirted with the other girls?

~~~

She could sing, even in Rosa's, just cut out the flirting.

~~~

"Chinga Tu Madre. Go fuck yourself" - Actually, "Go fuck your mother!"

~~~

What's with all that stuff after the translations? It seems like you were trying out phrases,never used them, then forgot to delete them.

~~~

@miket0422, the stories were never meant to be the same story, just individual interpretation of each song.

~~~

@LenardSpencer, I was thinking the same thing, that she should have shot him.

MattblackUKMattblackUKover 1 year ago

That was moving and romantic. They loved each other in life and in death. 5* story. First rate.

Heybuddy65Heybuddy65over 1 year ago

I have to say I have the Marty Robbins song “Big Iron” in my playlist and all the double entendres that would go with that fact. Someone more talented than me would have to write that story (hint, hint). As for the rest, since we have a music motif going, take some advice from Taylor Swift.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Similar to the sister in "For a Few Dollars More."

BaggyUKBaggyUKover 1 year ago

That's really cool! Thanks Cg, looks like you're the excellent filling in a very fine sandwich😁. You built her formative character well, not easy when she wasn't originally yours, impressed as always.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Okay, I’m not really sure that we needed this version along with Randi’s…nor why there was a particular order. And I’m not at all sure that the stuff at the end was any help at all…so long after the fact. The story was written well, as one would expect of CG, so I would have rated it higher had I not just read Randi’s version. The song itself was much more powerful the first time I heard it…but less moving with each exposure.

blackrandl1958blackrandl1958over 1 year ago

Umm... anonymous, there are three songs, released in the same order as the stories, and we were covering the songs.

SorchakSorchakover 1 year ago

Neither your or Randi's links work.

SouthernCrossfireSouthernCrossfireover 1 year ago

Faleena didn’t get nearly as much airplay back in the day, though I’m not sure if it was how it was released, that it was long, or that it was so darn sad! We see here how Faleena has come from such a difficult background, how she has her own hopes and dreams, and, unfortunately, how she was trapped in a rough and tumble world where the men had the power and the women rarely had a say. In the end, Faleena shows that she does have a say, but it has that sad ring of finality as in the song.

.

I liked that, seeing the story with Sinclair from Faleena’s perspective, we see more depth to the situation, particularly with respect to Sinclair’s jealousy and his temper, which were mostly glossed over in his telling. The tack-on notes at the end could have been separated better to show it wasn’t part of the story.

.

In summary, very good adaption, both alone and as part of the trilogy/event. Thanks for writing and sharing it.

AnonymousAnonymous5 months ago

FYI, if you look up the lyrics, its FELINA.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Thank you C'gurl, your tale added well to Randi's. 5 stars

somewhere east of Omaha

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Please do not ask for permission to rewrite any of my stories. The answer is no. The stories and characters within, are mine. I created them, they are mine and mine alone. Save yourself the time and don't ask. If I do not respond to your attempts at contact. It is because I do...