Eleanor

She turned to me with tears in her eyes. "I lost both of them fourteen months ago. They were there and then they were gone, never to return. I walk to forget, to immerse myself in the moment and just put it all down. I'm having a very difficult time letting go and moving on. I'm not yet ready to do that."

I was shocked and stunned by her story. Outwardly she seemed so upbeat and positive. I was so sorry to hear of so much sorrow within.

"It's only recently that I could drag myself out of the house and begin walking. I was enjoying a rare moment without a constant reminder of them when you asked me what I was seeing and why it brought me joy. You really helped me finally get beyond those memories from time to time with our walks. My other friends reached out to me for a while but a lot of them have moved on with their lives. We don't share as much anymore. They have their families and other priorities. I've got a few really good friends, a good therapist and a walking buddy. How could I ask for more?" she said with a faint smile.

"Oh, Eleanor, I had no idea. What a terrible thing. What a terrible shock. What a terrible loss."

It was awkward sitting in a car and having this conversation. I wanted to give her a big hug but you can't do that in a car. It occurred to me that she had never physically touched me. As much as we had shared there was a barrier between us. I was being told the ground rules of our relationship. I could get this close and no further.

We talked for a few more minutes then I started the car and drove her to hers parked along the Embarcadero. We parted there with an agreement to check in from time to time.

I had found an interesting woman that I wanted to know more. I had met a woman who was not ready for more.

We saw each other from time to time. I enjoyed the walks with her as she seemed to enjoy them as well. But it was clear there was nothing beyond that enjoyment, at least not at this moment in time.

I received an unexpected call later that winter, a call from a TV producer who had read my books and thought there was a possible TV series about walking. The idea of going places, meeting people, sharing those moments with a much larger audience was intriguing. They asked if I was at all interested. I of course said yes. We talked about how it would work. They would do the first six shows as a preview to air over the summer, just to see if there was any interest. I went back my notes and lists of who I had seen and where we had gone. I selected ten possible walks and shared those with them. They in turn contacted the people to see if they would be willing to participate. Seven agreed and we decided to do all seven. The locations were scouted, a plan on how we would meet, be introduced and guided on a walk. I had picked places I had found very special. One was a state park on the Big Sur coast of California, to a beach where a waterfall fell into the sea. It was just a spectacular place and Joel was a great guide who knew the area and was so easy to talk with. After the first one there was a lot of excitement. The visuals were great, the story was compelling and it was a place almost no one knew about. We moved on, traveling as inexpensively as we could, setting up, filming, then hitting the road again. We did this through the spring and then wrapped up just before summer. The first seven shows were to be shown in July and August. Normally this is dead time in television but this had a chance to be different.

I used my web site to push the show and asked my followers to do the same. I was able to show brief clips from the episodes online to get people interested. It was fun and compelling.

I was pleased to see that the growth of the number of people who watched. It started slowly but built with each week until the final show in August was very successful. The network asked to do another full summer of twelve weeks. They could package the two summers' work together and have a complete season to show at another time. It was exciting. I had never envisioned walking could be a TV story. In reality it wasn't the walking as much as it was the people, the interactions we had as we walked and talked, and the visuals. Some of these places were just incredible.

I put the word out that we had been successful in our production and would do more. I asked for submissions of possible places for the next filming. I was stunned by the response, as my web log filled up with replies. I quickly needed some organization and hired a woman to work with who could create a web-based submission log with video and visual capture. We were deep into reviewing what people sent in. It was just an exciting time.

Eleanor called one day, after we had been out of touch for quite a while. "I was watching television over the summer and suddenly I was watching you! How exciting! I loved the stories and the gorgeous scenery.

What's next?" she asked.

"They want twelve stories for next summer. We just started working on those."

"It's fascinating. I didn't really think there would be a big enough audience to justify this."

"I'm not sure there is enough to sustain it. It was different, a change of pace. I just don't know if there are enough compelling places out there that people want to see."

"I see this as being something that works well on the Internet."

"There's also the question of format. The place may be wonderful but we're dealing with people who have never been in front of a camera. Walking with me is very different than walking with a camera man, a sound man, maybe some guys with lights or shades."

She laughed. "That's got to be funny to see. I can visualize this line of people walking backwards in front of you. I think you need to ditch the amateurs, as nice as they are, and just call it the Walking Man Chronicles. It's your walk, coached by someone local. We see what you see. We hear what you hear."

"Well, you've given me something to think about."

"Good. Let me know how it's going."

With that I hung up and sat down to think. There was another way to do this, one I hadn't thought of or about before. You could do this with just a couple of people, using iPads and iPhones to record video, then make it into something that could be posted to the web.

I called her back in a few days with a proposal. "Let's walk together and just talk about what we see, hear, and feel. I think having a companion to bounce things off of and react to would make this more interesting."

"Benjamin, I think it's a great idea but I'm not the right person to do this with"

"Actually, I think you are the perfect person. You're interesting, photogenic, conversation between us just flows. Please try it with me. If you hate it then that's that."

It took multiple calls beseeching her to try before she said yes. I admit I was a little obsessed about this. I had a good idea but I needed something more. The two of us together would make this a better idea. From my past acquaintances I had two people to film and edit, another to build and maintain a website. But, ultimately, my reason for obsessing was that I wanted to be close to Eleanor again.

Together, we researched, scouted, planned and filmed our first project. Eleanor was a natural, a joy to share with. I was beyond pleased. It just felt right. The feedback I got from my loose confederation of amateur critics was fabulous. Eleanor was excited and pleased. On our next walk, she did something she had never done before; she touched me. It was fleeting, but watching the video of the moment, it seemed deliberate. Could we have finally broke through the barrier between us?

We shared the joy of walking, and as we posted snippets to the Web and guided people to pay a small amount to watch each episode, the feedback we received was joyous and surprising. The primary surprise was the number of people who were watching not just for the walk but to watch the two of us together. People assumed we were a couple, based on our interactions.

Eleanor was as surprised as I was. "Do we really look like that?

We filmed, edited and posted eleven episodes. Every new episode posted higher numbers than those before it. A fan sent us a screen shot of a web page entitled "When will Eleanor and Benjamin tie the knot?

Eleanor and I were at dinner after filming yet another episode.

"Benjamin, I have a secret to tell you.

We've known each other for quite a while and you've always respected my boundaries, that wall I erected. That wall between us is gone, I've moved on from the tragedy of my life. You and nature have erased so much of the barrier I erected. I've loved our time together. I'm finally ready to move on into a closer relationship with you."

"I'm blown away! I've wanted more with you for a long time. I just hope it goes well."

After dinner, I walked with her back to our hotel. She took my arm and held it with her hand. It was the most intimate we had ever been. As we approached the hotel, I stopped, turned toward her and hugged her. I could feel her crying softly on my shoulder. I held her until her crying ceased. I leaned in and kissed her on the neck, then her lips. On the third kiss she responded by kissing me back. I held her hand and we walked to her room.

"I want you to come in. I want you, period!"

She had a small suite and we walked to the bedroom. I began to slowly undress her, kissing each part of her body as it was revealed. Under the shapeless clothes she usually wore was a beautiful woman: slim and perfectly proportioned. I removed her bra and kissed her breasts but avoided her nipples as I kissed all around each breast. She had moaned with each intimate kiss and now she sighed when I finally licked and kissed her nipples. I knelt in front of her, kissed her thighs and putting one hand on each side of her, I removed her last article of clothing. Her vaginal area was largely bare with just the barest of short pubic hair in a line above her pussy. I knelt, leaned in and kissed her mound, eliciting another sigh, then she grabbed my head and pulled me to her. I kissed and licked as her moans increased. I rose, and taking her hand, guided her onto the bed. She lay on her back watching me as I disrobed and knelt between her thighs. I kissed and softly touched her inner thighs, kissing all the way to her vaginal lips. I kissed and licked up one side and down the other. I used my tongue to lick her clit, eliciting a gasp and then loud moans. I used my tongue as a mini-penis and thrust into her pussy. I went back to licking and kissing her pussy lips. As I did so she used her hands on my head to pull me deeper into her pussy. She was gasping as she slowly suffocated me. I licked and sucked as long as I could. Just as I was ready to pull away to breathe she trembled and jerked as a massive orgasm tore through her. I moved to lay beside her. She looked at me, smiled, and licked her juices from my face. She glowed in the aftermath of the orgasm.

"That was incredible. It's been a long time since I've felt anything like that."

Later, after much cuddling and kissing, she brought me to orgasm, one of the most fulfilling of my life.

I loved this dear woman and wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her. I was going to do whatever I could to make that a reality.

Six months later, after some ups and downs, we wed. It was the most joyous day of my life. We had chosen a summer's day to stand together in front of friends at one of our favorite places from our now many walks together. As the sun set behind us, we exchanged vows, vows I hoped I would never break. To have and to hold until death do us part is real, magical and wonderful. Just believe.