Eleanor Meets Tommy and Martin Pt. 04

Tommy reappeared the following week for his Dad's recital in the Aula. It was a fantastic performance. David's voice had not deteriorated with age. He sang songs by Schubert, Mozart, Purcell, Britten, and Vivaldi whose operas he had just discovered. He got his usual enthusiastic applause. "I wish my brother-in-law Tom were here," Tommy said. I envied him for having such a gifted father.

After the concert, we all went to Octavia Avenue, where Prosecco was served. David took me on one side and asked me about my intentions towards the two boys. "It's none of my business, so of course you can tell me to get lost, but I would hate for you to be hurt if you cherish hopes of marrying one of them. It's not going to happen."

"I don't want to marry either of them! I want a ménage à trois, in which they can sleep with one another and also take turns sleeping with me. I want them both, and I can't promise lifelong fidelity to either separately, but I want to be mother to their children. I have been deliberately vague with them about my long-term intentions, and in any case I want a career before I start breeding! So please only talk to Jon about me, not to either of the boys. I don't want to break up their relationship, and I have told them that. If they told me to go away and leave them alone, I would do so, but they seem to like my company." (I could have added that they seemed to like my cunt as well, but for obvious reasons I did not!).

Chapter Thirty-seven

Eleanor's last Easter vacation

I decided to invite both boys to spend the Easter weekend with me at Winksey. My parents were keen to meet them, although they did not know my long-term intentions. My mother was curious to meet a gay couple who were not in the closet. My father just wanted to see what sort of men they were. I warned Martin in advance that there would be a lot of churchgoing, but he would not be obliged to join in. Easter was late that year and Martin went home for a week, because he had not seen his father and stepmother for some time, and Tommy's school had not yet broken up for Easter.

My end of term Progress Test had gone well and I was urged to work steadily through the vacation. So I had two full weeks at home deep in theology before the two boys arrived by car from Camford, driven by Tommy. What I liked about both boys was that they were not awkward or tongue-tied, and without being noisy or pushy could carry on a conversation with strangers. In this respect, Martin told me, Tommy had improved enormously from when he came up to Camford, when he was quiet and reserved to the extent that some people thought he might be autistic.

The Easter festival demands from the faithful church attendance on each of the Great Three Days: Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Day. Tommy came with us to each service. My father asked him to be one of the candidates who had their feet washed at the service on Maundy Thursday evening. I was one of the servers assisting my father to do the washing. Nowadays of course, those being washed come with clean feet. But it was not always so. At the Royal Maundy service, the washing of feet by the sovereign was discontinued 300 years ago, but sweet-smelling flowers and herbs are still carried in procession to cover the smell of sweaty feet!

The Good Friday service is always very quiet, with the reading of the Passion of John. At Winksey, the Reproaches were always said, not sung.

We attended the Dawn mass of Easter, which began at 6 am with lighting of the New Fire in the churchyard in semi-darkness, and followed by the other vigil ceremonies. Tommy told me that his brother Luke had been baptized at the Dawn mass in Loxton many years before. After the mass, all the attenders gathered for breakfast in the church hall, where we were joined by Martin, to Tommy's great delight. Martin was not an atheist, just a non-practising Anglican. Easter Day was fine and sunny and the three of us went for a long walk, involving a visit to a rural pub for a pre-booked lunch. My mother was always too busy to cook lunch at Easter. On Easter Monday, all five of us went for a walk, and again ate out. On the Tuesday, the boys returned to Camford. After they had left, I asked my mother what she thought about my two boyfriends.

"They seemed very wrapped up in one another," she said, "it surprises me that they have time for you."

"I think that they do prefer my company one-at-a-time rather than as a threesome," I replied. "In fact, I often wonder if they just regard me as company when the other is away."

"They are both very polite and well-mannered, and bought me flowers when they left," she said, "but they did seem to be a bit all over one another!"

"They don't see one another, even weekly, since Tommy got his teaching job. I don't usually see them on weekends when he comes to Camford," I replied. I did not of course mention that on the weekends when Tommy did not come, Martin and I spent Saturday afternoon fucking! "Which of them did you like best?"

"That's hard to say," she replied, "Martin has a lot of charm, but Tommy is sweeter. Actually, I liked them both. Which of them do you fancy?"

"I too find it hard to decide," I replied. "They are both very nice. Tommy's problem is that he lacks drive and ambition. Even though he's a teacher, he's not very academic, whereas Martin is. I think that they should probably go and live in Italy. Tommy has an adoptive brother in Trabizona. Tommy's parents are two gay men, and their eldest son works in the opera house in Trabizona. He's gay as well!"

"I can't help wondering if Tommy is doubtful about his sexuality."

"Oh, no. He freely admits that he's bisexual," I replied.

I also had a similar conversation with my father, who had rather different views. "Martin is a shrewd and academically minded boy. I am quite sure that he will prove a very successful tutor a well as a research scholar, and I can see him as a college fellow within a few years.

"Tommy is much more problematic. He obviously has not yet found his ideal career, and until he does, he will flounder. He needs to realize that he is not using his one outstanding skill: his ability to speak Italian. I think to make a successful career, he will have to go to Italy."

The rest of the vacation left me intensively swatting, and it was something of a relief to get back to Camford for the summer term.

Chapter Thirty-eight

Eleanor's last Pentecost term

I will not go into details about my last term as an undergraduate. It was mostly academic work, with two nights off per week, one to go to a film or concert with Martin, one for the chapel choir practice. Coffee breaks after dinner were short, before returning to my room to swat. Sometimes instead of the cinema, Martin and I would go to see a Shakespeare play in in the garden of one of the colleges. We only managed one trip on the river, and did not go near the river during the boat races.

My exams were in the last week of term and the first week of the summer vac. I had eight papers in all, spread over the 14 days. After my last exam, Martin turned up on the steps of the exam hall with the by now traditional bottle of Prosecco and carried me off in subfusc for an early dinner at the Venezia, with a bottle of Soave between us. The waiter asked me where Tommy was, and I explained that he was now working away from Camford.

My exam results would not be published until mid-August, so I went home, unable to think about where I might live in Camford until I knew my fate.

Chapter Thirty-nine

Eleanor's exam results and the summer following

I worked for three weeks at the care home before my exam results arrived by E-mail. I had got a first, to my parents' great delight. I paid a visit to Camford to see Dr Smith, who said that he would write me a reference for an M.Theol., once I had decided on my research topic. I told him that I did not want to work on Old Testament stuff, including Hebrew, but was interested in researching the iconoclastic controversy of the eighth century and the Second Council of Nicaea. He arranged for me to see the Professor of Ecclesiastical History, the Rev Dr James Saunders, who happened to be an authority on the Eastern churches. Prof Saunders asked me about funding, and I said that I would pay my own fees, and my father would pay my living costs, including accommodation in Boni's graduate annex, at least for my first year. "As you have a first," he said, "and also excellent reverences, I will be happy to become your supervisor. Please arrange with your college to start work on October 1, and we will meet at that time to plan your project in detail."

It seemed to me that if I could get enough research work done during a calendar year, including a three-week residence at Gladstone's Library at Hawarden, I would be in a position to start writing up my work part-time in conjunction with a job, perhaps as a part-time library assistant.

My parents and Martin were delighted about my proposal, and there was just enough time before Tommy's autumn term began for the three of us to fit in two weeks in Italy. We decided that this should be a proper holiday, with no work- or study-activities. We selected an hotel in Malcesine, a beautiful little town on Lake Garda. After much discussion we had booked two separate rooms: a double for the boys, and a single room for me. Malcesine had everything that made a good holiday for the three of us. There was an open-air market, smart shops, open-air concerts in a ruined castle, trips on the lake, walks in the hills above the lake. The hotel had an excellent open-air pool, and there were many good restaurants. There was no English church, so I went with Tommy to a beautiful little baroque church near the hotel. I managed to follow the Italian liturgy with the aid of a service sheet, magically conjured up by Tommy.

Unfortunately my period coincided with our stay, so I did not get as much sex as I would have liked. It kept me out of the pool for several days, which was a nuisance. I did manage to get a blood-free night with each of the boys, but the remaining nights they were shagging each other silly. I have always been lucky: I have never suffered from premenstrual symptoms, and the period itself is usually short and trouble-free. To my amazement, both the men were very nice to me during that time and never got impatient, as most men would. Of course they always had each other to satisfy their sex drive!

During our stay, we did of course discuss our future together. By now, they had accepted that I was going to share their lives, even after they had reached their goal of civil partnership together. We agreed that after the boys were united officially, our lives would be spent together, either in Camford or in Italy. Tommy confessed that although he liked teaching at the Wyverne School, separation from Martin could not go on for ever, and he was seriously considering English language teaching in Italy.

With this, I conclude the account of my period as an undergraduate in Camford. I had had a wonderful time during those three years. I had learnt study skills, self-discipline, a huge factual knowledge of Judaism, early Christianity and church history. I had come to realize that I was temperamentally (and probably spiritually as well) unsuited for the priesthood. I had developed a taste for sex and alcohol and learnt to moderate them to achieve an optimal work/life balance. Perhaps most important of all, I had discovered the world of men. I had formed lots of fairly superficial female friendships, but Tommy and Martin had become major figures in my life, and I was glad that I also figured in their plans for their future together. As soon as we returned from Italy, I joined an adult education class to learn Italian. If a move to Italy was on the cards, I wanted to be ready.

THE END