Elegy for a Star Ch. 071-081

Hello every, Elegist here! Just to give you a heads up, this set of chapters is pretty low on the smut side. To fix that, I've included an extra chapter, Chapter 81, which has a lovely sex scene. For those of you who want to skip the story and go straight to the sex, check Chapter 81. Otherwise, enjoy them all!

-----

Chapter 71 - The Week of Conflict

Mairaela had been sleeping over every night for the last week, and as promised, she'd been giving Tess head before they went to sleep every night. Then there were the mornings. The afternoons. The after-dinner desserts. Any time that Tess brought up that Mairaela's promise was paid, the Fey would insist that she couldn't remember the other times. Tess had just learned to go along with it. It seemed to make Mairaela happy and it definitely made Tess happy.

Oddly enough, except for the times that they were having sex, Mairaela was rather aloof and off in her own thoughts. They still had dinner together. Well, sometimes. But the Fey spent more and more time by herself, only coming to Tess when she was in need.

Tess didn't feel particularly used. If this was her only experience with Mairaela she might feel disrespected, but she knew that there were some feelings involved, at least from their time in the Void. She knew that Mairaela just needed a distraction from whatever was bothering her, and Tess was happy enough to give it.

Still, with Joyona either off at Oar's Rest or studying to make up for what she missed of class, and with Gwendolyn not talking to her and not coming back to the dormitory, Tess didn't have much to do. Well, besides training. Her sorcery class was still in the theory stage, and most of it was about what Gwen had already taught her.

So Tess had been spending a lot of time with Ylla lately. Well, Ylla and Miri, but when it came to the latter she didn't really have a choice. Not that she minded. She had grown to quite like Miri, even more than she may have before.

In any case, Ylla had become something of a friend. She still called Tess little mouse, but that wasn't much of a big deal to her. Tess considered herself rather mousy, and compared to the tall Ylla, she was little, so she supposed it was a fair nickname to be called. She'd learned that Ylla was from a city known as Isyenalin, but was born in the capital of the Winter Court: Syln Caelora. Hearing about how harsh the conditions are there, she had newfound respect for Fey of the Winter Court. Ylla especially, who grew up an orphan.

In any regard, the two of them began to get along, and it became a common thing for them to be seen together. She just hoped that Mairaela hadn't noticed yet. She wondered how the Summer Fey would react if she knew that Tess was willingly--eagerly, even--spending her time with a Winter Fey. She wondered what Ylla would think if she knew about Tess' regular bedroom shenanigans with Mairaela. At the thought, Tess felt a little bit pulled in two directions.

"When's your match?" Ylla asked, nudging Tess on the arm, "Mine's tomorrow."

"So is mine," Tess responded.

This week was the week of conflict, a week of student-on-student combative matches ending in a combat festival that's different each year. That day is called Lady Morro's Day, named after the late Goddess of Conflict, who was defeated by the Black Sun only after killing three hundred Old Gods. She was an icon among warriors, the Valkyries of the Empire especially. The Valkenlord, now ruler of the Empire, has vowed to bring Lady Morro back to life, but no one expects him to.

No deity has ever been brought back from the dead, and there are a good few that have died, including Vitr, the brother of the God of Light, Uthr. Vitr was the God of Life. He was the first to approach the Black Sun, greeting it with his herald's horn as one would for a king's arrival. For it, he received a spear down his throat and out his belly. He was the first, our God of Life, and ever since his defeat, magic has been unable to bring the dead back to life. Tess wondered what they lost when Morro died, because they still had plenty of conflict. Perhaps it was resolution that she took with her.

"Who is your fight against?" Ylla asked her, watching as the stage was set for the first matches. They were in the middle of the crowd, upon a bit of slanted ground that gave them the ability to see over the heads of those in front of them. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but it was loud enough that her and Ylla's conversation would get lost in the chaos.

"Oh," Tess said, looking upward for some divine intervention, "I... don't know. Am I supposed to know?"

"I swear..." Ylla groaned, "You're hopeless, Tess. How do you remember to breathe?"

Tess rolled her eyes, "Well, fine, but who are you up against?"

"Duk."

"Duck?"

"Duk."

"Is that a person or are you fighting a small animal?" Tess asked.

Ylla chuckled, "Hopeless. Guy's name is Duk Dun Mar. He's been up for a commission to officer for years now and keeps turning it down. Fucker likes fighting in the Void too much." Ylla let out a sigh, "It's addictive, I'll give him that."

"You'll get him," Tess nodded, having never seen Ylla fight.

Ylla gave a little laugh, "I appreciate that, but I'm gonna get my ass handed to me."

Tess raised an eyebrow, "You are? But you're so..."

"Confident?""

"Right," Tess nodded.

"Part of being confident is knowing your limits," Ylla advised, "And Duk is far beyond my limits. Maybe in the Void I could put up a fight, but not out here."

"Because of your gift?"

"Yep."

"What is your gift, by the way?" Tess asked.

Ylla's eyes widened, "Excuse me, little mouse, do you know how rude that is?"

Tess was taken aback. Had she offended her?

"That's like asking someone's dick size," Ylla shrugged, "Personal information, you know?"

"Sorry," Tess responded, looking back toward the stage. For a moment, she wondered if Ylla knew. Was she hinting at something?

"What about your friends' matches?"

"Um.. Joyona's is today. Mairaela's too. Gwen's is on the third day," Tess replied without much hesitation.

"Oh, so you can remember their match dates but not your own opponent?" Ylla groaned, "Hopeless little mouse."

"I just hope..." Tess paused, taking a deep breath, "I hope Dame Gwendolyn wins hers."

"Yeah, we'll see," Ylla replied, "You think she's here somewhere?"

Tess shook her head, "No, she's probably going to be completely absent until her match. It's going to be real important to her; I know it."

They stood in silence for a moment. Well, relative silence; The crowd was pretty loud. Ylla eventually spoke up and asked, "She's important to you, huh?"

"Yeah," Tess replied, wiping at her eye, "Really important."

Chapter 72 - Worthy Causes

Gwen gripped the wooden sword in her hands, watching the rotating training dummy with its limp arms of a sword and shield. Each strike would spin it around, lifting the arms to try and connect against the trainee. Gwen had seen novices defeated by training dummies. She always felt bad, but right now it was the last thing on her mind. Right now, the upcoming match was all that she could think about. "Admaris Miraj," Gwendolyn repeated the name in her head, "Admaris Miraj."

She was the only one in the training yard that day, so she had all the time in the world to focus on her foe. She'd made sure to get a good look at him before she went to train, imagining him as the training dummy in front of her. Her strikes connected with the head, the neck, the bicep, anything to get a knockout or to disable him. As the dummy swung around, she dodged back a step and then lunged forward for a thrust into the chest.

She knew that Admaris was around Joyona's height; an Evigkin. It didn't matter. Gwendolyn would've beaten Joyona in their fight if she hadn't had to worry about Mairaela too. Joyona was easy. Joyona was weak. Gwendolyn was better. She was better. Better than Joyona. Better than Admaris. Better than she'd been when she got that letter from her father. She's getting better. She's doing better.

She danced around from leg to leg, bouncing up and down and shaking out her arms.

She gripped her wooden sword in both hands and charged toward the dummy once more. "Fuck you, Admaris," she thought with a cuffing to the side of the head, "Die, you stupid fuck!"

She parried the swinging blade and slid inside the minimum reach of the longsword, but her own edge pressed up to the dummy's neck. That's how she was going to do it. That's how she was going to win. Admaris wasn't going to see it coming. He thought she was going to be on the backfoot. That she was afraid. That she was weak.

She was going to show him. She was going to fucking show him. She had cut a slash down the torso, slipping beneath the sword arm and slicing where the hamstring would be. "Fuck you," she thought, "I'm better. I'm better than you. I am a knight. You're just trash."

Gwendolyn started to feel sick. Why was she thinking this way? This wasn't her! It wasn't! She was kind. She was dutiful, yes, but kind. She was determined and strong, yes, but she was a servant to the people, not a tyrant. What had her doing this?

No distractions. No distractions. She wasn't going to think that way during the fight. She was going to hate her opponent. She wasn't going to show mercy. He was an enemy. He was evil. He was going to die and Gwen was going to be the one to put him down.

He was the one that was standing in Gwen's way to greatness. She was going to win her fight. She was going to win all of her fights. She was going to be the one to ascend to the prestige of the champion of Lady Morro's Day. She was going to tell her father. He was going to write back, proud. She was going to make him proud. She was going to prove that she was a knight. That she was the best. That she was more disciplined, committed and virtuous than any other. She had to. She had to do better. She hadn't been doing enough. She had been lazy; distracted.

The imagined image of Admaris' face upon the dummy began to fade. Instead, all she could see was Tess' face. Gwendolyn teared up, her hands shaking. She'd already requested a change in lodging. In the meantime, she was sleeping in the back of the library. Tess would be okay. She had friends. Gwen brought her to safety and brought her to a purpose. She didn't need to do anything else. So what if Gwendolyn may have been responsible for her predicament? That's how the world worked. It was shit. It was unfair, and to survive it you had to be strong. Tess needed to be strong.

"Let me train," she thought, staring at the face of Tess upon the dummy, "I need to focus, and you take that away."

"This isn't you," The dummy of Tess whispered back, "This isn't right. This isn't knightly."

"Go away," Gwen hissed, "Go away or you'll just be my target instead."

The dummy of Tess began to tear up, "Gwen, I miss you."

"My name-..." Gwendolyn raised the training sword into the air, "Is Dame-...!" The blade crashed down into the neck of the dummy, splitting some of its stitching and revealing the stuffing and hay beneath, "Fucking-...!" The sword slammed into the neck once more, splitting it wider and exposing the post that held the dummy in place, "Gwendolyn!" The blade struck the post this time, breaking in half. The top part of the sword clattered to the ground, splintered at its end.

Gwendolyn looked down at the long edges of wood sticking out from where the sword broke. She looked up at the dummy and screamed in absolute rage, plunging the broken blade into the dummy's gut again. Again. Again. Gwendolyn's other arm was wrapped around the dummy's neck, forcing it close while she disemboweled it. Eventually, leaning on it so hard, the post lifted the ground and collapsed. Gwendolyn went down with it, falling forward onto the dummy.

Her body was shaking. She must have scraped her forehead, because blood was dripping onto the ground, running down her brow and into one eye. She got up to her knees, bent over, hands shaking, screaming and sobbing, "I don't want this. I don't want this."

Her body was wracked with shakes by the force in which she shed her tears. She reached into her shirt, pulling out her holy symbol and placing it into her shaking hands. Blood dripped into her palms, soaking the metal circle that housed a small diamond. A symbol of Aros, god of perseverance, self-sacrifice, zeal and worthy causes. She had always felt a greater attachment to Aros than any other goddess.

What was the better cause in this situation? Should she abide by her father's wishes? Was he right? Does she need to be more honorable? More prideful? She brought a demon into the Corps. Knowingly! If Sir Strand knew, she would be stripped of her knighthood.

What was sacrificing more? Gods, she was sacrificing so much by following her father's insistence and pressures. Wasn't staying with Tess the easier path? This was hard. Hate was hard. Loneliness was hard.

Gwendolyn squeezed the symbol in her palm, replacing it upon her neck and rising to her feet. "That settles it," she thought, "This is the right path, even if it's far more difficult. This was the sacrifice that she needed to make to be proper. To be strong. To defeat the Black Sun.

No friendships. No love. No distractions.

She twisted at the hips and looked back over her shoulder as boots signaled someone's approach. It was one of the festival's volunteers. "Dame," he said, "Your match is coming up."

Gwendolyn dropped the half of the training sword she carried.

Amaris was going to fucking regret this.

Chapter 73 - Regret

Gwendolyn stepped into the festival yard, looking around for the staging area. Before she found it, she heard a shouting, "Dame!" It was difficult to tell exactly who it was over the din of the crowd, but when she turned, she saw Tess, Mairaela and Joyona approaching. They squeezed through the others and made their way to Gwen. She watched them, but said nothing in return.

"Hey," Mairaela said. She had a cut on her temple and a bruise on her cheek. Gwen hadn't seen the fight, but she heard Mairaela lost it. Any thought about that was stuffed down. "We wanted to wish you luck in your match; You're gonna kick his ass," the Fey said with a fist pump into the air.

"We're going to be cheering your name!" Tess explained, clapping her hands together once, "You'll probably hear us from the crowd. We'll make sure to say the whole name too."

Gods, was she cute.

Gwen pinched her lips together, "Okay." She nodded, "Thank you for the support." She needed to leave. It was too difficult to stand here and not appreciate them. To not be friendly.

No, she was going to do it. Perseverance. Determination. Zeal.

"Admaris is strong, but-..." Joyona started.

Gwendolyn interrupted, "Don't. I am fine."

Joyona stopped, nodding her head. The other two looked uncomfortable now.

"Um," Tess started, pausing for a moment as she seemed to choose her words very carefully, "You'll do great."

Gwendolyn turned and stepped away. She could practically hear their stares at one another. Their judgments. Their concern.

They'll get used to it. It wasn't her problem anymore. She was going to be better. No distractions. No distractions.

When she arrived at the staging area, she was given an option of armor and weapons. All of them were training weapons, of course. They wouldn't risk the death of one of their Corpsmen. The fight only went until there was a killing blow, upon which time a bell would sound to declare the end of the match.

Gwen elected to wear no armor and no shield. Admaris was Evigkin. A blow from him, regardless of armor, would be crushing. It was better to be mobile; to be faster. To be better. She was going to be.

Gwendolyn picked up a new training sword, testing its weight before deciding to go with another that had a better balance to it. "They're all the same," the arena master said to her. Gwendolyn shook her head.

She thought, "No. This one is better."

She flipped the sword in her hand, hopping up and down and shaking out her limbs. She needed to warm up. She should've done that already, but Tess and the others slowed her down. She shouldn't have even stopped for them. What was she thinking?! Again, she fell for distractions. She wouldn't make that mistake again.

When the gate opened into the arena, Gwendolyn hurried out, jogging to her position. The arena was toughened dirt, though Gwendolyn could see chunks dug up from weapons, or little bits of blood from a strike that connected too hard. It didn't bother her. She was going to make Admaris bleed, too. He was the enemy. He was evil. She was going to make him regret this.

There were two stone circles level with the dirt to signal where each fighter would stand. They were about twenty feet apart. At first, Admaris didn't show up, it seemed. Gwen stood upon her stone and looked around. Joyona was too tall to miss, and her eyes landed on her party. They were cheering, clapping, standing and waving their hands.

Gwendolyn redirected her sight, shaking the thought from her mind, the growing smile from her face. Fuck this. Fuck them. Fuck Admaris. No friendship. No love. No distractions.

At that point, the crowd began to cheer as Admaris took to the stage. He was tall. A little taller than Joyona, carrying a hefty wooden warhammer. "That thing could break bones," Gwen thought, "And a blow to the head could kill me." That's why she wasn't going to get hit, she told herself. It was too slow. She was fast. She was better.

Admaris was wearing leathers, with a few gaps around some of the joints and flanks. It was meant for front-facing attacks, nothing from the back. Gwen took note of that.

"Get inside his reach," she told herself, "Sword to the throat before he can grab you. That'll be a win." Her opponent inclined his head toward Gwendolyn, and before the Dame knew it, the bell sounded for the fight to begin.

Immediately, muscle memory took over and Gwendolyn lunged off of her stone circle and charged Admaris' position. The giant swung his hammer horizontally, timing it with Gwendolyn's charge. "He's fast," was the first thought that came to Gwen's mind. She had to end her charge--lest she suffer the killing blow--her boots skidding on the ground and kicking up dirt as she tried to slow herself. She could feel the wind off of that swing across her torso. He didn't go for the head, though.

Admaris thrust the head of the hammer forward. He was exposed! She pressed in, within his reach. She was going to win! At least, she hoped, until Admaris struck her in the side with the haft of his weapon.

Gwen had the breath knocked out of her, falling to the ground. Admaris brought the hammer up for a killing shot, but as he brought it down, Gwendolyn noticed that he was bringing it to the side so that it wouldn't actually hurt Gwen. She took advantage of this and rolled in the opposite direction, and the judges must have determined that as a dodge.

Gwendolyn came up to her feet, but the pain in her ribs caused her to stumble, and Admaris took advantage, bringing his hammer up and to the side to catch Gwendolyn as she rounded him. Gwendolyn was off-balance and couldn't dodge the attack, so she brought up her blade to parry at the haft of the hammer. The force of it crushed her against her blade, causing her to slide backward upon her feet until she managed to press off of him. She could hear her training sword straining and flexing. Her arms were shaking. Her legs were shaking. Her body was jelly.

"Stop fucking around," Gwen told herself, "You're a knight. He's nothing. He doesn't deserve to win. He hasn't trained as hard as you have."

Before she knew it, another hammer was swinging toward her side. She pressed in, hopping over the haft and swinging her blade toward the giant's throat. Admaris brought up his hand and Gwen's sword only connected with his leather bracer. That wouldn't count, she knew. For a moment she thought she had it. Admaris took one hand off of the hammer. He couldn't swing it while that was the case.