All Comments on 'Elevator Fun Pt. 01'

The idea of the story is good, I really liked it.

But... English is obviously not your native language. I guess that you originally wrote it in your own language and then translated it. Which is where things went wrong. You really need an editor, someone who helps you structuring the story, remove parts that are not needed, improve parts that are weak, and who can translate your "sortoffenglish" into real English.

Please keep writing, as mentioned, I really liked the story!

Yes yes yes. Get an editor. Good idea for a story but got lost in the translation

I see some comments from others. I barely noticed any errors because the story was intense and compelling. It sounded like something that could actually happen in real life. Up to the point of the engineers offering money to compensate for the trouble. Most of the time, people would have to sue to get anything out of a company like that. But still, it was an overall excellent read. Cudos and keep writing!

Completely agree with previous comment by OneSevenOne. The story premise was good but the English wasn't. You definitely need an editor.

Don't be put off from writing more though. Maybe consider re-publishing this story once it's cleaned up by an editor.

Like OneSevenOne said, some grammatical errors that an editor could fix up. Otherwise loved it. Great build up to an exciting finish. Bring on the story of Hawaii

learn english

Liked the story, even as it was clear from the beginning what would happen.

Can’t blame your English as I am no native speaker, too.

Dad knows what happened, doesn’t he?

Great story and good build up. I can understand the bad wording but please get an editor. So many people on this site willing to help just to cheat and read the good stories earlier. You have great talent please keep it up. I cant wait for your next story

It was a fun story, but it could use a little smoothing out around the edges. There were quite a lot of grammar mistakes. I assume you're not a native English speaker, so I can excuse them; although, I'd recommend getting an editor to help with that for the future.

Other than that, I wasn't super crazy about the pushiness of the brother, especially in the middle of the story. I'd have preferred a more mutual type of thing the way it started out and the way it ended. Hope there will be less pushiness in future entries.

Fun story. Can't wait for the vacation story.

I loved this! The brother’s kink of using his cell phone’s vibrations against her pussy and his dick were scorchingly hot and super sexy. It was insanely hot to read how much they couldn’t control nor contain themselves. You should include more scenes like this in the next part!! Please come back real soon and give us a part 2! This is one of the hottest stories I’ve ever read on this site. I’m really looking forward to this vacation.

Vera level ya. I am so impressed. I want to read part 2 now itself. Send me the link

I loved this story and couldn’t care less about grammar. Love to read about the trip to Hawaii!

Was this originally in another language, then translated to something else again before English? Because it reads really, REALLY badly.

I loved this story ...

Reads nicely great hot story.

Maybe someone already thought of this. SPOILER ALERT - WHEN THE ELEVATOR DOORS FINALLY OPENED, THE BUILDING ENGINEERS OFFERED THEM A COPY OF THE HIGH DEF CCTV FOOTAGE FROM INSIDE THE ELEVATOR.