All Comments on 'Elizabeth 339 Ch. 03 - Deconstruction'

Read chapters 1 & 2. If you are only looking for quick and mindless masturbation fodder, skip this completely.

I find the use of pov,along with the mix of present with the past, to be very effective. You are telegraphing future plot development rather strongly, but even that is done in a way that adds.

The only thing that is a hiccup for me is pairing arousal and whatever negative emotion Elizabeth G was experiencing during the viewing. I generally dislike that in any scene. I don't want a legitimate negative to be bound to sexuality. That is different from a situation of not having tried something, having tried something that once went bad or not really being into something and having the experience reconfigured. True negatives exist for reasons. There needs more understanding of them before they are tinkered with. We are given more of that backing with Joe's tinkering scene. With Elizabeth G, I was left feeling pulling back, not being drawn in.

I steongly hope this will be continued, and soon. Rollingbones, you have me very invested in Joe.

More!!

Some very strong clues are left on the table...hopefully the Muse will call again, and soon. I woud like to see if Joe is as smart as he seems.

Rollinbones, do you intend writing any more chapters to this story?

i do... I have been very busy with life for the past year. Many personal ups and downs that have put quite a cramp on any creative endeavours. I have a fourth and final chapter mapped out but am not happy with how it feels just yet. Sorry for the lengthy delay. I'm afraid to force it.

Look forward to more of this story. Very interesting.

Yet again a winner for me,

Rollinbones you wrote "I have been very busy with life for the past year. Many personal ups and downs that have put quite a cramp on any creative endeavours. I have a fourth and final chapter mapped out but am not happy with how it feels just yet. Sorry for the lengthy delay. I'm afraid to force it."

Life is such a bugger as your story points out.....

hope things go better with you and that we get to see the results of at least another chapter soon, but if not thanks for what you have written.

WoW - Fabulous writing, but what really stands out for me is the creativity of the plot. Where will it go next? There are so many possible paths that could be explored. So many potentual genres to explore, to tempt and torment the characters of this unpredictable tale. Please don't keep us waiting too long!

Hi Rollinbones, it's been a while now. Is there even a remote chance of you finishing this gripping tale. I'm sure that a lot of other readers, myself included would love to know the conclusion to this story that you have so cleverly crafted.

Reminds me very much in general direction and tone of a classic … “The Enormous Bed” by Henry Jones (John Coleman). Well written, thoughtful, tantalizingly kinky. Certainly warrants a resolution of Joe Smith’s journey.

outstanding journey into the soul of Joe as he discovers his true self. I am sure that his third sponsor is Lisa and look forward to the continuation of this story.