Emails Between Exes

From: Hugh@____________; Wednesday, January 16, 9:58 am

Subject: Happy (early) Birthday!

Greetings from out of the blue. I was on the metro this morning and it smelled like London. I eventually realized that someone was wearing the perfume I got you for your birthday that you must have worn when we went to London.

Google shows me you're back in upstate New York. Hope you're doing well and are going to have a great birthday.

Cheers,

Hugh

From: Lynne@___________; Thursday, January 17, 7:00 am

Subject: RE: Happy (early) Birthday

Thanks for the early birthday wishes. It's nice to hear from you, out of the blue. I'm guessing by now you're a big time partner and live in a giant house in Potomac?

From: Hugh@____________;Thursday, January 17, 7:39 am

Subject: RE: re: Happy (early) Birthday

LOL, more the opposite. I was finally able to leave that miserable law firm a year ago and joined a much happier law firm. But the bigger event was that I got really into biking at the end of last summer and I've been spending weekends and holidays taking long bicycle rides. Completely changing my life and my focus.

When Dinston opened a D.C. office I thought that meant you'd be moving back to D.C..; then I saw you're up in Rochester. Sounds like you're still defying gravity; how did this all come about?

From: Lynne@___________; Thursday, January 17, 6:16 pm

Good for you. It sounds like you're doing really well, both personally and professionally. Are you doing the same type of work at the new firm?

As for how I ended up in Rochester, it's a bit of a long story. I decided I wasn't really interested in moving back to DC. And I'd had enough of Morgantown. I also decided that I couldn't stay at Dinston (DC or elsewhere) if I ever wanted to do anything outside of mine safety practice. Long story short, I've always liked Rochester, and when this opportunity presented itself, I took it. And I'm very glad I did.

Sent from my iPad

From: Hugh@____________; Thursday, January 17, 7:35 pm

I was surprised that you left mining; when you were considering West Virginia I was so envious. It seemed like such a cool opportunity, like a neat little niche. I always liked visiting out there, even the highway was like this undiscovered Great Scenic Route. And the industry was like full of poetry; it was easy to fill a CD with songs about WV and mining--I still listen to some of those songs! You would talk about different mining terms and I thought that was so cool; I even envied your mine tours.

Plus they all voted for McCain out there so I knew you'd feel at home ;)

So what was it really like? How'd you like working in a law firm? And Morgantown? You did live across from that cool lesbian couple--I figured boom! instant Henna and Pipps surrogates :)

D.C. is pretty much the same except moreso. I'm out of doors a lot more. Did I use to love driving and hate all the cyclists on the road? It's like I don't even know that guy. Work's a lot better, too. The new place mostly represents the real estate and construction industries so knowing about mortgages and title issues was pretty helpful. Adulthood. It has its moments.

From: Lynne@___________; Sunday, January 20 at 7:19 pm

Living in Morgantown was ok, but I never intended to stay there forever. And I wanted out of the mining world. It was fun for awhile, and I got to see and do some cool stuff, but it's a very small niche and I wanted to do more. Also, the mining industry is changing, and that kind of work is drying up. But my time at Dinston was fun for the most part. Working in such a small office didn't always feel like I was working for a large law firm, and the people were great. And I obviously didn't mind working for a firm, since I'm still working for one. My current firm is very different from Dinston, and the work is very different, and I like it a lot. It's only been six months, though, so that could change.

Speaking of Henrietta and Pippa, they moved to Venice, Los Angeles and have twins.

Sent from my iPad

From: Hugh@____________; Thursday, January 24, 3:04 pm

And you got to go back to your first love, labor/employment law! Bonus! That's one of the areas of law that sounds interesting--lots of human drama and learning about how businesses really operate on the personal level.

That's cool about H&P; did Henny carry them? Who was the donor?

From: Lynne@___________; Monday, January 28, 11:28 am

I do enjoy the labor and employment work. It's a lot of what you described, which keeps it interesting. But I've also gotten into some deal work, which mostly entails reviewing and advising on labor and employment policies and procedures and stuff as part of the due diligence before a large transaction. We do a lot of work with international companies, so it means a lot of conference calls really early in the morning. But I enjoy listening to the accents.

Re: Henrietta and Pippa, Pippa actually carried the twins. They used a donor from a sperm bank, and they bought some extra in case they want to have more children down the road. They're almost nine months old, a boy and a girl, and they're doing well. And Henny and Pips are both looking for work in the Santa Monica area.

Are you still living in the same place? On one of my last visits to see H&P before the move, I grabbed some crab rangoon from that place in Cleveland Park. So good.

From: Hugh@____________; Monday, January 28, 12:39 pm

Thanks for filling me in on these details. I've often wondered about what adventures befell you since we parted ways. I'm still in CP and Spices is still great asian-fusion. I had to drive through Silver Spring yesterday, everything is much the same. Even that little Italian restaurant from our second date is still there.

I hadn't heard from you since just before Shannon's wedding, so I've often fantasized about what I expect was a wild reception, especially for a bridesmaid. And about your other escapades. For example, do you still smoke?

And now happy (belated) birthday :)

From: Lynne@___________; Tuesday, February 5, 9:52 am

Well, I don't know if I can adequately convey Shannon's wedding in an email. It was an experience. When I got home, I slept for an entire day. And there were many tequila sunrises, so parts are fuzzy. For example, I quite honestly don't remember what I told the wedding videographer when he asked me what I wanted to say to the happy couple. But my favorite part was the night before, when Shannon said that she knew that Bryan would never cheat on her, but she couldn't really say the same thing. Less than twenty-four hours before the wedding. But, it seems to be working out, and she's doing well. She came to visit a few months ago.

I haven't been back to Silver Spring in a few years. I think I moved away too soon, because I understand that there's a Nando's there now? I often miss my apartment and that great balcony. I really like where I'm living now -- it's a loft and it's much bigger than the one in Silver Spring -- but it doesn't have that great balcony.

I haven't smoked in awhile. How about you?

From: Hugh@____________; Tuesday, February 5, 10:59 am

I haven't smoked in awhile, either. Not since the superbowl. (Pun unintended). Grass and biking are the two forces that have changed/are still changing my life for the better.

That is a perfect Shannonism. Shannon's wedding has been one of my favorite fantasies about you over the years; I've thought about all the different permutations and combinations so much that it's a little surreal to be in my office on a dreary February morning telling you about it. Sometimes you were inspired by all the coke etc. that I imagine fueled the reception; sometimes Shannon had arranged a special surprise (or two) for you; sometimes (in a nod to your love for Tyler Perry) you did bad all by yourself ;)

It was the side of you that your red sheer-back panties always represented for me; though obviously in my fantasy they weren't necessarily on too long ;)

Fuck. I've got to get to a meeting.

From: Lynne@___________; Tuesday, February 5th, 6:42 pm

Now, there's the Hugh that I remember. All this talk about changing and growing, but you sound like the same guy I used to know, still smoking weed and talking about my panties (or lack thereof).

It's flattering to hear that my experience at Shannon's wedding has brought you some good times over the past few years. I don't think I'll tell you any more about it, because while some of my stories might be even better than you've imagined, I don't want to disturb your long-standing fantasies.

From: Hugh@____________; Tuesday, February 5th, 6:45 pm

Tease!

Two of my best qualities then are still two of my best qualities now ;)

"while some of my stories might be even better than you've imagined"

You haven't lost your touch either.

From: Lynne@___________; Thursday, February 7, 5:12 am

I don't kiss and tell, especially to someone I haven't had any contact with in over two years. And on that note, out of curiosity, what did prompt you to contact me out of the blue?

Sent from my iPhone

From: Hugh@____________; Thursday, February 7, 7:36 am

I smelled your perfume on the metro one morning. Proustian.

From: Lynne@___________; Friday, February 8, 7:04 am

Well, I'm glad you did. It's been fun to catch up.

From: Hugh@____________; Friday, February 8, 7:09 am

Has it? Sounds like it's been stressful on your end.

From: Lynne@___________; Friday, February 8, 8:53 am

Work has been stressful, and my time on gmail has been more limited because of it. But emailing with you hasn't been stressful.

From: Hugh@____________; Friday, February 8, 9:44 am

Even when you find out that your ex-boyfriend occasionally likes to imagine you as the star of a coke-fueled orgy? :)

From: Lynne@___________; Friday, February 8, 3:00 pm

Apparently so. Things are a little different from back in my mining days. But as I said, I am definitely flattered. As I recall, you have a pretty robust porn appetite and a healthy imagination, so for a fantasy of me to get your juices flowing is high praise!

Sent from my iPad

From: Hugh@____________; Friday, February 8, 3:05 pm

I don't think I'm following when you say:

"Things are a little different from back in my mining days."

?

From: Lynne@___________; Sunday, February 10, 5:50 pm

I think I misread your email. I thought we were still talking about work and checking and responding to emails (which I was better at when I worked in mining law and had more time on my hands), but you were talking about something else. Sorry for the confusion.

I can't tell if you're trying to evoke a particular response from me but, no, I'm not stressed by your emails, even when you talk about your occasional fantasies about me. It is a bit surprising, and as I said before, I'm certainly flattered to hear it. But that's it. And while I've really enjoyed hearing from you and catching up, I don't necessarily think we need to talk about sex with the same level of familiarity that we may have had when we were dating.

From: Hugh@____________; Sunday, February 10, 8:12 pm

No need to talk at all. Pictures are worth a thousand words.

[Hugh attached two pictures. The first showed Lynne posed fetchingly from during the first trip Hugh took her on, to the Virgin Islands. Lynne is close to the camera, looking like old Hollywood glamour for Hugh's camera in floppy hat, sunglasses and black, halter-top one-piece bathing suit. Her cleavage is bared, her breasts look large and shapely and touchably luscious; her hand rests gently on the side of her face, her smile is sly.

The second photo was from later that year, when Hugh took Lynne to Paris. Her back is to the camera as she lays on her side in their bed at the Grand Hotel, the same hotel where Harrison Ford lost his wife in Roman Polanski's Frantic. The sheet has been pulled down to expose Lynne's back and enough of her bottom to demonstrate its shape and reveal that it is as bare as her back. Lynne looks over her shoulder at the camera, smiling slyly].

From: Lynne@___________; Sunday, February 17, 11:58 pm

Subject:

Why did you do that?

From: Hugh@____________; Monday, February 18, 5:55 pm

Do what?

From: Lynne@___________; Tuesday, February 19, 12:12 am

Send those to me.

From: Hugh@____________; Tuesday, February 19, 8:12 am

Because they're timeless.

From: Lynne@___________; Tuesday, February 19, 10:15 pm

It hurts to see them,

From: Hugh@____________; Wednesday, February 20, 7:07 am

Why?

From: Lynne@___________; Friday, February 22, 3:27 am

Because I don't look like that anymore... and I don't think I ever will again.

From: Hugh@____________; Friday, February 22, 8:08 am

????????????????

From: Lynne@___________; Saturday, February 23, 6:51 pm

Let's just say, two years in West Virginia, it wasn't the freshman fifteen but the freshman one-fifty. :(((((

From: Hugh@____________; Monday, February 25, 10:10 am

And now upstate New York?

From: Lynne@___________; Monday, February 25, 11:15 am

It's better. But not much.

From: Hugh@____________; Monday, February 25, 11:59 am

You were so sensitive about your body then. And all I wanted to do was take photographs of you because I loved how you looked.

From: Lynne@___________; Monday, February 25, 9:19 pm

That's true. It's so Alanis Morissette. I hated how I looked then and now I wish I could be even that size again.

From: Hugh@____________; Tuesday, February 26, 8:00 am

You made big improvements in your fitness once before, you told me. That boot camp program those summers during law school, sometime before we met, per my memory.

From: Lynne@___________; Tuesday, February 26, 9:05 am

Good memory! I did, but I am not twenty-five any more and with twenty-five year old hips and ass.

From: Hugh@____________; Tuesday, February 26, 9:10 am

Road biking is really changing my life. I wish I was into it when you were here and we were together. You'd look great in spandex.

From: Lynne@___________; Tuesday, February 26, 10:23 am

It's hard for me to hear you talk to me about my body.

From: Hugh@____________; Tuesday, February 26, 10:29 am

It was impossible for me to stay with you because you could not handle how I saw your body. How I needed you to feel about your body. Your beauty.

From: Lynne@___________; Wednesday, February 27, 11:10 pm

I'm sorry.

From: Hugh@____________; Wednesday, February 27, 11:25 pm

You just need to find another boot camp trainer like that one you had those summers ;)

From: Lynne@___________; Thursday, February 28, 12:02 am

How did you know about that?

From: Hugh@____________; Thursday, February 28, 12:05 am

You told me.

From: Lynne@___________; Thursday, February 28, 12:21 am

Not about... that.

From: Hugh@____________; Thursday, February 28, 12:35 am

Ah. You said once, when I was asking you in the early days of our dating, getting to know about your past, because we were silly twenty-somethings, and you mentioned that you had hooked up with a black guy once, between college and us dating, and you said you blew him but didn't fuck him, but you really did not want to go into any detail, and so... it's obvious. It was obvious then and it's still obvious now. You hooked up with your boot camp fitness instructor. You got on your knees at some point and gave him a blowjob but didn't fuck him.

From: Lynne@___________; Thursday, February 28, 1:00 am

Of all the boyfriends I have ever had, of all the hookups, you are definitely the smartest. You should not be a lawyer, you should be a detective or something.

From: Hugh@____________; Thursday, February 28, 1:05 am

That's very sweet of you to say.

From: Lynne@___________; Thursday, February 28, 1:15 am

It's true. On both accounts. You are the smartest and I did get down on my knees and blow him.

From: Hugh@____________; Thursday, February 28, 1:17 am

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From: Lynne@___________; Thursday, February 28, 1:35 am

He was a really good trainer. Those classes were dope. They got me really healthy again after all that pot and pizza senior year of college. All that beer first year of law school. Hope you don't mind hearing about it. I know you don't.

From: Hugh@____________; Thursday, February 28, 1:46 am

You are so sexy, Lynne. The most sexy when you're the most uninhibited. Like when we were driving home from that dinner and a movie and you took your clothes off in the car.

From: Lynne@___________; Thursday, February 28, 2:01 am

I remember that. I don't know what came over me that night. Did I have drinks at dinner? I think I did.

From: Hugh@____________; Thursday, February 28, 2:08 am

We should have drank more and smoked just a little less.

From: Lynne@___________; Thursday, February 28, 2:15 am

You're incapable of smoking less. That's one reason why I was willing to move hundreds of miles away from you.

From: Hugh@____________; Thursday, February 28, 2:20 am

Lol. It's easier to hear about you blowing your trainer. ;)

From: Lynne@___________; Thursday, February 28, 3:01 am

Would you rather think about me doing that? He was so cute. Perfect body, dark like Idris Elba. It was at the end of the summer, and I just had to thank him, it felt like his boot camp was changing my life.

But I certainly didn't want to admit I did it to you later because I was technically dating that stupid Mark all through law school, and we were not really on a break that summer, Mark had come to visit me in D.C. that summer during my internship, a couple of times, so when we, you and I, those years later, were coming clean about our pasts and hookups I couldn't be specific about this one because I didn't want you to think I was a cheater or anything.

But you know how things were with Mark and I was always kind of ambivalent at best about it/him/us--meaning, him and me, us, those ages ago. Ugh. Gross to even think about it now. So it was just--it was just a special thank you, one time only kind of thing. Even if Mark knew about it, he couldn't have gotten too mad about it.

So I lingered after a boot camp class one day, late late late, as late as I could, until all the other girls--the class was all women, I'm sure at least a half a dozen of the other students found a moment to blow him, too, at some point; I'm sure every class he taught especially every summer when girls were in the city for summer jobs and stuff. All us lonely, chubby, overweight and undersecure striver women. Girlbosses in training, back during that half-sliver of time that term wasn't gross. I'm sure he always found a few fans like me who wanted to show their appreciation.

So I blew him right there, in the back, in the changing room for men, which was only ever him. He was sweaty but I did not care. He was thick but he did not take long. His cum did not taste as good as yours, if that makes you feel anything.

I gave him my number but he never called, I think he had a girlfriend probably anyway, and then a few more class sessions of the summer boot camp for working women was over and I had to go back to law school.

So now you know.

From: Hugh@____________; Thursday, February 28, 3:06 am

Sizzling.

From: Lynne@___________; Thursday, February 28, 3:33 am

Thanks.

From: Hugh@____________; Thursday, February 28, 3:39 am

Oh, truly, it is I who thanks you.

From: Lynne@___________; Thursday, February 28, 3:43 am

You figured it out, anyway, so you deserve all the details. He got his from me without even a date. Heck, I paid him. How many dates until I gave you a blowjob for the first time?

From: Hugh@____________; Thursday, February 28, 4:04 am

Four. We did not make out until our third date, when you came over to hang out on Columbus Day. You brought a coffee with you, a Starbucks or a Caribou or something, as you always did. You came over to hang out and smoke grass, which I was just getting in to. We smoked on my couch and kissed for hours.