Emma Ch. 01

I never knew my father. He ran off with his secretary shortly after I was born. My mother never remarried, so she raised my big brother and I on her own.

My older brother, Kevin, is something of a nerd. He's 24, but still lives at home with my mother and me. Always awkward. Not stupid, but not desperately smart either. He had 4 close friends in school. All 4 have the same lack of intellectual and social prowess. It's probably the main thing they have in common. But they formed a tight bond. When their time at school came to an end, they all got jobs shuffling paperwork at the same big insurance company. Like him, they are all 24 now, still doing the same jobs for the same company.

I'm 18, in my final year of St Margaret's girls school. I criticise my brother for being socially inept, but in truth I'm not much better. I've got a handful of friends, I'm painfully shy and have never had a boyfriend. In fact the only boys I know at all are my Brother's nerdy friends.

It all started one evening after school. I get home an hour before Kevin. I normally have a shower as soon as I get home. I'll take a change of clothes into the bathroom with me. So I can get dressed again in regular clothes in the safety of the locked bathroom.

That day was like any other. I got home, and went directly to the bathroom. I was in the shower maybe a little longer than normal. Maybe 15 minutes rather than 10.

I finally shut off the water and started my post shower ritual. I use the hair drier. Brush my long dark hair. Dry myself off with my towel then put on the change of clothes and go to my bedroom. But I quickly realised I had left my clothes in my bedroom.

I considered putting my school uniform back on. But it seemed silly for the short walk down the hall, in an empty house, to my bedroom. Instead, I wrapped the towel around my body, under my arm pits. I'm a small girl; just an inch over five foot. But the towel wasn't very big either, so it only covered 3 inches of thigh.

I was a little nervous as I unlocked the bathroom door. I knew that was silly. The house was empty. I had a towel. I was only walking down the corridor.

I poked my head around the corner of the door. My heart was thumping in my chest. Silly, silly girl. The house is empty, and I'm wrapped in a towel!

Into the corridor. Bear feet on cold wood. The house is still, silent. I breathe deeply. stand for a moment. Calm my racing pulse.

Suddenly the calm is broken. The front door crashes open. Stomping feet enter the house. Loud male voices. My brother Kevin and his friend Justin.

The voices get closer. The rhythm of the footsteps changes as they hit the stairs. Rising, climbing towards me.

I'm at the point of no return. Halfway to my bedroom. Halfway from the bathroom. I panic. Indecision engulfs me. Back to the bathroom? On to the bedroom? I freeze for a valuable second then start to run. Naked feet slapping softly on hard wood. My bedroom door in focus, but so far away. One hand clutched across my chest, clinging to the scant cover of the too small towel. The other fisted around my now useless school uniform.

The heavy feet and booming voices are close now. Near the top of the stairs. Thanks to my fearful dash, my bedroom door is also close. But the same frantic scamper which had bought to my bedroom's threshold had also loosened the binding on my too small towel. It shifts, slides. I grab for it with my one hand not encumbered with my uniform. A useless gesture.

The towel unravels and drops. I let it fall softly around my feet and lunge for the door handle.

The voices are near the top of the stairs now. I have half a second and they'll see me. All of me!

In my nervous agitation I can't twist the door knob. The same door knob I've turned countless time, daily, for most of my life, has become a Gordian knot.

I'm out of time. I turn to look back over my naked shoulder as the two boys come into view.

They turn away from me towards my brother's bedroom at the other end of the corridor. I watch their backs and they start to move away from the stairs. They don't see my nakedness. Don't even notice my presents.

At last the door knob twists. The door swings open. I slip through, leaving the towel abandoned on the threshold.

The door shuts behind me. I fall back against it. By heart thumping in my chest. My breath coming fast and ragged.

They hadn't seen me. It had all happened so fast, but they hadn't seen me. As my heart slowed and my breathing returned to normal, relief washed over me. But as the adrenaline subsided, so did the relief. They hadn't seen me. But was I relieved, or was I disappointed?