All Comments on 'Employee Number One'

Fuuuck it what a good story!

I loved the story and gave it five stars and a favorite point. As a quick suggestion, you might want to get an editor or a proofreader. There were a number of spelling errors that Spell Check wouldn't pick up. For example, you had the mom call him "sweaty" instead of "sweety". Just a thought.

Decent story. I gave it 3 stars because the writer just put out whatever. The first couple of paragraphs he used torcher when it should have been torture. And figure when it should have been finger. This guy does need an editor badly.

The aunt needs to come back and see that her sister is pregnant and become even more jealous as she wants a kid of her own and so his Harem starts to grow!

Great story. What about Aunt Vicky? Will she be a part of any future storylines?

I love the story but hate the writing. Get an editor/proofreader, someone that knows what words mean and knows how to spell.

Awesome story... Definitely needs continuation!!

Slut Moms are not turn ons.

Echoing Sex4If57 regarding an editor, with errors such as disgusted instead of discussed, & torcher instead of torture, pleaser instead of pleasure, etc. but also watch your character ages.

You have MC leaving home at 18 & returning at 24, & his mum being 40 on his return, meaning she'd have likely only been 15 at conception. While certainly not impossible, it does feel a little less credible for a typical happy 2 + 2 family.

Damn good story. You earned the five stars I gave you. It inspired me to sign up so I can post a recent writing I did. Great work, keep it up. Definitely have to favorite this and favorite you as an author!!

Great read hoping for a sequel. Would love for the aunt to get in on the action.

awful ending, as she transitions from mom, to flirtatious mom, to lifelong cum dumpster of a mom. And you don't fuck in a hot tub, especially if he was really hung, without the hot water washing all her natural lubrication. Some incel who's never been laid, or tried sex in a hot tub even without a cum dumpster involved, wrote this drivel.

If I'm Carson, I'd find a way to back out of this deal. It's gonna bite him in the ass, and not in a good way.

Great story hope to read more soon keep up the good work.

Next chapter

You need a editor. Your minor spelling errors did not detract from the story, they were little errors.

5 stars but get an editor.

I think, unless you really know the business you are writing about, it is best to be vague about numbers. You could have said, he's loaded. You could have had his parents react to how much he was worth. You could have established he got a good deal or a bad deal on a home. All of this you can do without actually quoting specific amounts. I found your numbers distracting and I had doubts about their plausibility. If this guy is supposed to be a great businessman, just let us know without creating a possible contradiction by quoting doubtful numbers.

I really enjoyed your story. Your setup was a bit long but manageable! You need to do a better job of proofreading. You had some grammatical errors and spelling errors. I can’t wait to read additional chapters! Please don’t make us wait.

Damn.

great thanks

I gave 5 stars. Please continue and maybe involve auntie and sister.

Ended ... just as it was getting really, really good.

Would love to read more about these characters!

Please keep dad away from sister, but looking forward to more chapters!

Shame about the rotten spelling!

I agree with tinfoihat. Good, hot story. But it is in bad need of editing.

Pt2

This story is very good & I'd like to see it continue. I was a bit concerned about the level of detail you were writing, but 3 to 4 page stories are readable & keep my attention. As someone else said, you need a proofreader, & those type of mistakes just knock me out of the the story.

You've made a few suggestions about continuing plot points. A best friend, who is in California, Carson's Aunt Vicky is coming there in a month, the trip to Wyoming & his sister April. Further chapters of this should continue to construct this world a) The Wyoming trip & little details since these 2 became lovers b) How did Carson's mom come to think this way? Was she taught & by whom or is this her own world view? Does Aunt Vicky share this view? Does Carson's dad know of her sleeping with others? Is this relationship to be kept secret from him? The small details that can become tedious sometimes build the story you started today.

Can't wait for 2nd part to this! Need to continue this fast! Got a good start to a story.

I hope this story line continues and brings the aunt into the arrangement as well.

I gave it a 4.5

Of all the incest stories the mother/son relationships seem to be the hottest of them all. And when you couple that with each of the partners wanting to make a baby or babies it gets hotter.

My most intense orgasms were when my lover told me that she wanted my baby. Couldn't imagine making love to a beautiful woman and that beautiful was also my mother and she is telling me that she wants my babies. I would dump jet after jet after jet after jet of my baby batter deep in her womb.

i would love to see a part two.. especially with Vicky involved too.

Awesome premise, exciting potential, please continue, love it

Well written and well formulated for a mother and son story.

This is an incredible story and I enjoyed it very much, but it needs to continue. Is he going to impregnate, how is old dad going to be involved. This needs a chapter 2 and possibly a chapter 3.

The Proofreading Police need to give him a break. If you write in secret, you may not have a proofreader. It's easy to miss things when you have read a story you've written over and over. I guess Mom and Dad will be pretending they are making and caring for Carson's and his Mom's children like they are their own. His Dad will love that when he's not getting any pussy himself. Maybe he can get Vicky or April to give it up without letting the cat out of the bag. At 40, Sasha has missed her childbearing years and it becomes riskier each year for birth defects. C cup breasts are the perfect size for me, and they must be so firm with implants making them stick out proudly. If Sasha rides Carson, she needs to lean forward so he can play with her tits and suck on her nipples. I'm a breast man myself. 5 Stars

Sequel please - the spark generated by this story will then have a logical advancement

One word decribes her mind best…Mercenary.

Employee Number 2...

Aunt Vicky...

HI, really enjoyed the sotory, I look forward to a follow up on this with mom and the Aunt etc..

This is a fantastic story. Hope you keep it going , I would love to read more. Thank you.

Awesome Story and so much potential for more sequels and incestuous romps - 5 Stars

It was good until you mentioned the mom's whoring herself for her dad and DIL.

So I loved it , son stepped up and took care of his family enough said

It felt very transactional. She'll just be with whoever can provide her, family or not. Aside from that odd aspect, it's a decent story but I felt like it was lacking any real love sadly. If there ever was a part 2, that needs to be remedied otherwise it feels cold and empty.

Employee number two is his hot aunt employee number three is his sister. Now write the next part I already outlined it for you.

Fun story hope you continue as you add other whores, like his aunt, and maybe sister. How about a side story of how mom got her father and father in law to start fucking her for money.

Ok, loved the story, well done.

Not too sure about his mother and the pay-to-play system, that conveyed a coldness in his mother to her son; not the loving passion as mother and son. And her latter comment with him being the provider for the rest of HER life, not precisely something you would expect to hear from a loving mother caring for her child.