End of Innocence Ch. 17

Chapter XVII, Redemption

Miraculously, my sweet sister with her incredible drive and determination to not let the harshness of the calamities that had fallen upon our lives made the incredible push to complete all that needed to be done in California. The house sold and vacated, the purchase of a small colonial accenting natural wood overlooking the lake in Ithaca, the movement of the personal property that was selected to accompany us, the 3,000 mile drive from one coast to the other, and acquiring what necessities that we deemed essential in our new location was accomplished before the start of orientation in August at the university. Ashley still suffered the stiffness and aches from a person healing from harrowing injuries but her ability to cope with adversity was something that can only be described as inspiring. Her life's plan was unfolding according to her inconceivable will and nothing that destiny had thrown at her had deterred her from her goals. She made the adjustments that reality had demanded but on her terms in her own way. Despite all that she had suffered, she remained upbeat, happy, with the positive attitude of a person deeply in love and holding to a conviction that only she understood.

As we settled into our lives in Ithaca, receiving the mandatory inoculations against rabies that are required of all veterinary students, we found a certain peace had descended upon us. So much weight that pressed into our lives was removed with the knowledge that this home was our home and that we now lived for all practical purposes, in an area considered rural to the average Californian. Ashley volunteered at an animal rescue clinic just minutes from our home and the exposure to all the furry creatures that needed love and help brought my lovely sister into a joyous happiness that I had feared was lost forever. I bought a small rowboat with an outboard and we both would putt around the lake fishing or just taking in the sights of the rolling hills and green spaces of the area. School at Cornell was intense but rewarding and we were quickly making new friends amongst our classmates. We looked forward to each new foundation course and the clinical rotation that was part of the instruction.

When the occasion arose where we had some spare time, Ashley and I would travel throughout the Finger Lakes Region exploring the wine country of New York. We remarked how similar yet different that the respective areas are between the two largest states of grape producers. The wineries in New York tended to be smaller and more spread out but the product produced was as every bit as good as the renowned establishments of Napa and Sonoma Valleys. There was less rush and from a visual perception, all this was so new to us that we were lost in the nature of the adventure. We embarked on hiking escapades exploring out the landscape and remarking between ourselves how this area had so many small lakes.

Often, we found ourselves making love in an unhurried fashion under the canopy of trees that seemed to sprout from every corner of the state and cover the land as if in grass. The rolling hills of the Southern Tier were something that we became especially fond of. In summers, we scheduled trips to the Adirondacks, Thousand Islands, and Canada. The stresses of our previous existence had started to fade into a distant memory that could never be completely erased but the evilness of it all quietly reduced in strength. Occasionally, we were rewarded with a surprise visit from our closest friends from California, even Aunt Kimberly had come out, and the chance to renew and revisit better times from a previous existence were relived with newer memories being created in a differing geographical location.

We were maturing as adults and I came to look upon Ashley as my true soul mate and wife. I tended to no longer consider her just my sister alone and that I happened to love but someone that was much more preeminent and significant to me. She was still my sweet sister and the memories developed between the two of us carried a veneration in itself, but she had become so much more. I could not begin to fathom a life without her. The trials and tribulations that we had faced created and molded a unique pair that could only operate at its peak by being together. We were our own optimal solution to life's challenges, and we faced them as we have always had but with so much more richness of character brought through aging, education, experimentation, immense tragedy, and ultimately, redemption. Redemption in not only ourselves but those who surrounded us for as much blackness that had occurred in our lives, there were many shining examples of mercy and compassion displayed as well.

The four years spent at Cornell University were spectacular. The challenges and friendships made between faculty, staff, and peers would ultimately prove to be lifelong. I was now twenty-six and Ashley twenty-four. We had spent the final year discussing our futures together. What we wanted most was peace to live our lives as we decided without the potential interference of governmental agents still stuck in the dark ages. With some regret, we opted to open a small clinic focusing on not only the ubiquitous pets displayed across the households of America, but farm animals in rural Rhode Island. The state had proved in countless manners that it was progressive in thought, deed, and action. There were no laws barring the interactions of brother and sister there and we could live life like any other couple. It would also bring us nearer to another ocean on the far side of the country, this time the Atlantic, and for native Californians, something of home as well.

We sold the small house in Ithaca and purchased a twenty-acre parcel with a log cabin and an outbuilding that was quickly converted into our practice. We were accepted into the tight-knit community immediately and began our lives treating dogs, cats, chickens, goats, cows, horses, and the occasional ostrich. We had fought, clawed, and struggled for happiness and if were not for my sister's plans, the ones she had built and forced into existence by her sheer tenacity, perhaps that all-encompassing form of life that worshipped love would have been fleeting for us as it was for many others. We had not run from friendship, romance, or love but directly into it with its whirlwinds, tornados, and hurricanes that life's Spirit had forced upon us. Each of us honed together where we existed as an odd but remarkable entity capable of so much love and compassion for not only ourselves but all of the inhabitants of the planet.

As we settled deeply into our new lives, Ashley began to wake up in the morning nauseous. At first, we had thought that she contracted a virus but when these episodes were beginning to grow in frequency and duration, I became worried and insisted that we see a doctor. We arrived at the office in a grey sort of dismal day where it is not quite raining but misting with a chill that follows in mid-autumn. Ashley described her symptomatology as only another doctor; a healing practitioner was able to do. The doctor listened carefully and escorted my dearest into the examining room while beckoning me to stay in the waiting room. After some time, my sister came out with a look of confusion on her face. The examining doctor reassured the two of us that he believed that it was nothing to be concerned about, but he had run some tests and the results should be known by the next day. Ashley said little but she seemed more relaxed after the visit than before, so I held hope that it was nothing more than a little queasiness from exposure to a pathogen that was probably hitching a ride on one of our patients.

The next morning, Ashley again burst into the bathroom unable to settle the contents of her stomach. I was becoming extremely concerned but Ashley looked up and smiled. I was muddled at her reaction to an obviously distressing situation. She weakly reassured me that it was nothing, just the end of adjustments that her body was making, and that in all probability she would improve as time progressed. Anxiety began to overtake my thoughts and forcefully, I convinced her to take the day to herself and rest. I would handle anything in the clinic that day and if there was a site visit, I would do that as well. The day proved to be routine, various vaccinations and health checks; the house phone rang the extension in our little animal hospital once but was quickly silenced. Naturally, I had assumed Ashley must be near and picked it up in the cabin. If it had any degree of importance, she would have notified me promptly.

Later that evening, my sister seemed to be in excellent spirits and looked well. Perhaps, she was correct and that her health was improving as her body fought off whatever invader had taken up residency, however provisionally, in her bowels. I opened a bottle of one of her favorite wines from New York, but she declined saying that she wanted to be on the safe side while recuperating. Through the night, she glanced at me smiling. We made love that night and as we finished, she mentioned that we had an appointment to see her ob-gyn the next afternoon. It was nothing more than a follow-up and not to be stressed or concerned. Our family doctor had called earlier and wanted the tests verified by another medical professional.

I suffered throughout the day in apprehension about the next appointment. Ashley seemed to be in good spirits and had awoken feeling much better than she had over the previous couple of weeks. We closed our clinic for the consultation with my sister's doctor, started our 4-Runner, and I picked up Ashley as she was closing the front door to our home. We drove in silence with her holding my hand smiling and humming softly to herself. As we arrived, Ashley waited impatiently for me to get out of the vehicle, grabbed my hand, and literally pulled me in her wake. The nurse checked us in and after no more than a few minutes wait, Ashley was ushered into the doctor's office. After what seemed an insurmountable time, both Ashley and the doctor who sported conspiratorial grins glowing on their faces motioned me into the office. I sat down and when the doctor was convinced that I was as relaxed as I was going to be began, "Well, I think congratulations are in order. In about seven months, you are going to be a father not once but twice." I became completely numb; I was convinced that my senses had left me and what I was hearing was some form of cruel hallucination.

Ashley beamed a smile that reminded me so much of her as a child running wild with abandon said with so much joy in her voice, "It's true my dearest, we are going to have twins!"

"How can this be, I mean I am ecstatic, but how?"

"My God young man, you are a doctor yourself, in the usual way," laughed the ob-gyn.

"I mean, no that was not what I meant, we were told that it was impossible."

The doctor still possessed by mirth, "Sometimes, for all our education and experience, miracles are the only explanation that can provide the answers. Take it for what it is worth, your love is pregnant, healthy, the fetuses are vibrant, and the two of you are on the way to becoming parents. Just accept what is and celebrate the gift that you have been granted."

I thanked the doctor over and over again while she wrote out a prescription for supplements for my what, mother-to-be, and settled on the next appointment for a routine checkup. I floated on clouds, fighting back tears that ultimately would not be defeated, and held my precious love tightly with no immediate desire to ever release her from my embrace again. Drenching Ashley's shoulder in elations of my own, I hugged her doctor and together, the three of us, make that the five us, walked to the door, out into the mystical drizzle, and drove home. For the first time in my life, that night, I fell to my knees and prayed. I gave thanks to a Mercy that I believed did not exist. I opened my soul to Ashley's God, a God that my sister never lost faith in, and thanked what Providence that was present in the minds and souls of us lesser mortals, that no matter what evil that had befallen us, the goodness in our lives existed on a much higher plane.

...

Our children are now six months old. We had a boy and girl, fraternal twins. The doctor said that we might never have anymore, but we have them, they are healthy, and we are grateful behind any measure of words. Ashley is standing by my side holding my hand. It is night and we look at our angels sleeping so peacefully taking in all the incredible feelings overtaking not only us as new parents that are deeply in love, but ones granted the rarest of life's reprieves. A golden retriever, Holly, that we rescued stands sentinel over their small lives protecting and guarding these innocents. I am strangely captured by an impulse; something looks exceedingly familiar to me. I leave the room and walk to the den looking for an old shoe box.

Finding it, I move the contents from one side to another until I locate the objects of my search and return to Ashley holding the results in my hand. I glance at the items and feel a strange tingling rise through my body. A sensation of awareness flows through me as I hand them over to the mother of our children, my sweet wife and sister, and she smiles and nods her head with affirmation. It is uncanny what we are seeing; the similarities are beyond anything that can be grasped or begun to be understood; only taken as a proof, as faith. Ashley motions for me to follow, turns on the monitoring device, and we retreat to our room while she leaves the two old snapshots, instamatics from decades ago, on the babies' dresser. Ancient color photographs of our mother and father from the time when they both were as young.

The End