All Comments on 'Enforcing The Pre-Nup'

eh i felt he should have been smarter than to get involved with rich political white family. also hard to feel for him he made the wrong choice out of stupidity

Like anonymous below me I loved it and couldn't stop until I finished it. I too loved the Lazy Lemon Sun series, as I thought the author did a great job on it too. It's a very touching series, and I can see some of the parallels to this in it. I really did enjoy this though, but I think I've read it before (a couple of years ago).

I couldn’t stop reading if I had wanted to. This was intriguing and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out things like this had and are still happening. We all know that with the coverups, the fake news(damn I hate that phrase even though it fits like a proverbial glove), the rushed headlines of an overblown story that was only pushed to the forefront so it could take the focus off some seriously illegal and or dangerously stupid and most likely real situation and other such underhanded crap. The characters were spot on and worked incredibly well in their rolls throughout the story. Thanks for everything you did to make this such a fine and memorable story.

Well Done.

I really enjoyed the first half, but then it totally went off the rails. Really felt like you were going to incredible lengths to justify him taking her back in the end, when really, she was drugged and abused was plenty. She lied, yes, but jfc, given her childhood, it'd be awful to blame her.

Then the part about how "she never actually cheated on him because she never sucked his dick" made me feel sick. Given how far you had to stretch the premise to make that point, it came across as a meta way of saying this things needs to be true or else it's all her fault.

The dude was a massive selfish asshole for all he was praised as the everyman hero. It's one of those cases where, it's not that he's that great. It's that the antagonist is so bad that he looks great by comparison.

Superb story and truth and goodness prevailed for once. Well worth a 5.

Wow do we in the US need this one chance party

It killed me Sir. I had it in my mind ,she was gonna mess it up . I hate politics want nothing to do with it. I've removed TV, radio newspaper from my life . I started reading and dam kook I enjoyed /nuagra falls. I'm happy to read a story with such a ending. I'm personalizing but but a committed relationship is what makes life . Your story showed this. I say we'll done Sir I look to look into your talent. Be well thanks for sharing . Brian wolfe usmc ret

Too much hurt done by the xxxxx Stan, and too few pain for him... I would have preferedf BTStan A LOT MORE...

Can someone please explain the opening to me?

When did this happen in the main story?

Second read for me too, and I like it even more than the first time. You describe very skillfully the life of a man with genuine integrity.

This is my second read of this story. It was excellent. Thank you. 5 stars.

Reread. Fine story very well told. Thank you, you have provided countless hours of entertainment.

Wonderful story! Thank you for writing and sharing it here.

Like others, I'm confused about the chronological order of events here based on the introduction of the story. Other than that, with a few minor quibbles, it was an excellent story. I had this feeling of dread about Eve the entire time because, well, this is a "Loving Wives" story, but Eve turned out to be an actual loving wife (and mother). I was actually getting really angry at Tommy when he was being an idiot and refusing to understand that his wife was being sexually abused by her own father and raped by his supporters.

Its a good one. I did felt it was a bit over the top with all the people and institutions involved. I have almost zero faith in politicians and that is still probably too much. I think keeping them institutionalized and sedated was a bit extra. But that didn't stopped me from enjoying the story. Im glad he came back to his senses about Eve after it was clear she was abused and drugged. The opening part of the story, just didnt seem to make it into the plot. Still 5 stars bc i had a good time reading it. Thanks!

Wow, lots of comments. Good story with a few plot holes. Most have been pointed out by other readers. Four stars. Thanks for writing.

Great story, my only negative comment is the lead in to the story. When did it happen? When you get to the point that he sees the video of the wife "cheating" he then is in the hospital and then secluded until the father in law is arrested. So it doesn't seem to fit what happened at that point in the story.

5 Stars on a good story . I wish we had a third party to run against the 2 parties we have now . I mean we have people in their 80's and 90's in the house . Talk about life time politicians . They should have no more then 3 times in office . Twice as president at most

Great story KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK (JAYBEE186)

Yes eve didn't tell him about the abuse and drug involved and blackmail of her father to him, he felt betrayed and heartbroken any man would. But after he learned the story, he still didn't visit her knowing she was slowly dying PREGNANT with his child. If she died or something happen to the baby it would clearly be on his head. He didn't want to see her okay but he should regardless go for the sake of his baby, the mc didn't even care about that. If it wasn't because of eve mother begging (a woman who was used and abused) on her knees for him to go he probably never would, how pathetic is that. Apart from that, overall good read

I have to agree with some of the other comments. You took what began as a beautiful love story and demolished it. You turned your main character into a prick against his wife even knowing she had been coerced. And you did this all for the sake of ticking the cheating wife check box on your author resume. Your attempt to correct this error fell flat. Congratulations. You ruined a good story.

Having read Lazy Lemon Sun (both parts) I thought I felt a resemblance or hint of it's flavor in this. I too enjoyed that story, and read the 2 other parts of it as well. This was very good though, and I really liked it, like 5 stars liked it. I tried not to put too much into the political aspect of it, and just concentrated on the story itself. I prefer to do that, as it allows me to enjoy a good well written story that much better. After all someone went thru a lot of time putting words to paper (okay punched a bunch of keys) to make a story for me and others to read, so I just wanted to read the story. Needless to say I'd read an O2O1 story not that long ago, and l had some of his points in mind. Thank You for sharing it with us. I liked it.

This story's portrayal of the political system was almost as accurate as a Godzilla movie is true. The problem isn't term limits; the problem is integrity. Too many politicians realize they can get elected by promising to give certain groups money that comes from others. The National government was intended to have limited power over individuals and to have limited authority and responsibility. It was to provide for a common defense and foreign policy, establish a common currency, and prevent States from violating the Bill of Rights. Almost every issue debated at the national level is something that could and should be left to individual States and localities to decide. Most of the hot issue items that are decided by today's Congress and President are really attempts by one group of people to impose their will on the people of other States. Helping the homeless or poor, aiding education, providing medical insurance, etc. are all things that can be done by States instead of the Federal government - and be done more efficiently by the States. Check out the Constitution Party. It exists.

Note that my screen name is a complete name. I laugh every time someone with a random acronym or a screen name like "TallSam", "Lumberjack", "CuteSue", or "BigCity" declares that those posting anonymous critiques are cowards, and their opinions about a story should be ignored. My gosh, the authors on Literotica don't use their real names so are anonymous as well.

The story lost its way on pages 5 and 6. The way the story was written it was very obvious that Eve and Greta were not willingly doing sexual favors to help Stan's campaign. Tommy hD just been badly beaten so he should have understood coercion. Eve was saying "no" on the video and he saw her being forced to her knees. Yet instead of being enraged at the people abusing his wife, Tommy chose to feel betrayed by Eve. It was a stupid reaction by him and totally out of character for a man who for most of the story was portrayed as a Saint.

sorry not a 5 lost its way a bit from the first few paragraphs

Sorry, I will never understand why people criticize the silliest things about a story that was freely offered to them to read. I haven't written a title let alone a story, I'm guessing that the last person commenting would have to say the same. I will make sure to thank Q for a great read though! 5 stars

somewhere east of Omaha

The name of the story is “Enforcing the Pre-Nup”. What happened?? Couldn’t be a worse name. The rest of the story was pretty good but the whole idea in the title was list. You probably should delete that whole opening conversation and rename the story.

Another read through and this is still as awesome of a story as the first time I read it. I do find that depending on my moods, the feelings change about different characters at times but it seems my original thoughts are pretty much holding up over all just like this story does. People who comment on the MC and how he acted at times just like how he broke down when the shrink came to see him at his house. It’s easy to sit back and judge him as being thoughtless or whiny but you need to take into account his mind set after all he has been through which would undoubtedly skew anyone’s and thoughts. When it really counted, that’s when he came through with flying colours and they built up their lives from that point on. Thanks again for this five star piece of writing.

My respect for the MC really dropped when he saw what was happening with all the coercion and instead of realizing she was trying to be true and was effectively being sexually assaulted, blackmailed, abused and raped, he gets all self righteous and loses his compassion. He finally gets it back but initially he just acts as if she is a willing party. Really disturbing. How you act during a crisis is what defines you and the MC failed. Meanwhile, while I sympathize for her mom (Greta), she let the asshole predator get away with too much for too long. Most women would have murdered such a husband a long time ago. They would not let their husband pimp out their daughter for political favors and be abused by lecherous old men. Gross. I k oe Greta gets a happy ending but that seemed trite. Like her daughter she would have PTSD but in her case massive guilt. Without therapy she would probably commit suicide once the public knew what her husband did to their daughter. Still 5 stars because so well written (ignoring some of the political fantasy, which got cumbersome after a while), but could have been even better.

What happened to this story? Eve in the beginning has a totally different personality that the one forced by the father. Sorry but this poor storytelling and not even worth one star. She was a confident woman then suddenly becomes an insecure submissive who was abused for years? Get a clue people don't act like this if they are being abused. Adding in the husband going after politics while running a business by himself? Pure garbage he wouldn't have the time. If he sold his business maybe. To many unbelievable situations in this story ruined it. Even if it was set in a fantasy world you still have to some believable elements in your story. All the people who say this is a good story are simpletons no real editor would allow this mess to be printed ever.

Second time reading. Good story and well written. My question is why are there so many LW stories in which the MC gets slapped, sometimes multiple times, by his wife/significant other/female family member. If a man did the same thing, it would be domestic abuse or assault. I don't get it.

Excellent story.

The start of the story has no relation to the rest of it. We don't intersect on it..instead it feels like the author hit a different plot and decided to go easy on the wife as the way she was written the author realised she wouldn't betray. So we got the beating instead. I think there should have been a segue where they spoke, rather than the being sedated and imprisoned (as that was never going to be a long term solution)

I think there's 2 stories here. What we got was good, but the one introduced at the start should also be written - it should be similar to this perhaps but more focus and a circle back to that establishing intro.

The prenup and the begining seemed a little redundant. But I do wonder if stories promoting prenups are encouraged, as there seems to be so many of them. Also he seemed perversely cruel and bipolar in his attitude towards his wife. He knew almost from the start that she was under duress and he was also well aware of the depths that Stan would go, so his blaming her then sudden switch just didn't feel right. The pacing was wrong and the emotions were off.

There was also a little too much unnecessary detail about tangential subjects, maybe the author has a connection to scarlet fever? It's a serious disease that if left untreated can be disastrous, but seriously this doesn't seem like the right forum for such an exposé. Likewise the polemical attack on career politicians was just unnecessary.... and Trump has managed to prove all by himself that it's actually just shitty people that want to get into power regardless of cost or greater social benefit that are the real problem. I did wonder if Stan was loosely based off of Trump aside from the career politician part.

Was the first scene about the prenup and editor's mistake and pasted on from some other story? I thought for a second or two the story would resolve itself when there was a second mention about the antagonist not liking being addressed as Stan but that fizzled out. Good story, great efforth, wonderful effort. 4 stars + ! It's just that the opening scene reminds me of one of those click bait vids on FaceBook where you never do see what you click on to see in the first place. (The Whoo)

5 stars for the writing/story. 10 stars for the look into political corruption. Maybe not quite as bad as you illustrated, but I would not doubt many dirty dealings past present and future. I live on Long Island in New York State, which is one of the most corrupt in the nation, if not the world.

Enjoyed this one. Keep it up!

Great story, very well-written and thoroughly enjoyable! Thanks!

Loved the story as I do with all of yours that I've read. I'm looking forward to reading many more.

Great story. The only really bad part was when the asshole decided to condemn his wife for what she was forced to do under drugs and bullying. Her father was a wicked man and she was true to her husband throughout it all. It seems most of the ass holes in these stories refuse to talk about their false assumptions and always make matters worse.

I want to say that your outside the box thinking on this one was outstanding. The delivery was top notch stat to finish. Can't wait to read more.

Damn but that was an emotional rollercoaster ride and at times dark and deeply depressing. I don’t know what to make of Greta, on the one hand she was a smart loving person and yet she allowed her daughter to be dragged into this mess which I tried to understand or figure out and got nowhere. I understand how Stan could be the egomaniacal sociopath with delusions of grandeur. That’s pretty common when you constantly get away with doing things that are illegal so you continually escalate the crimes and even start to flaunt what you are doing. You get to the point of believing that you are smarter than everybody else and some even believe they are blessed by God and they are doing the lord’s work which is usually the point they take it to far which is exactly what Stan did. How he thought he would get away with assaulting, kidnapping, getting involved in kiddie porn even if it used to plant on someone else’s computer, blackmail and that’s just the tip of a very fucked up iceberg. Still 5⭐️!

A little long winded in parts, talking about the political nonsense here. But other than that it was enjoyable and a good read.

Dark but excellent. It held my attention all the way. I reminded me of how much I dislike politicians!

Really well written. Wish this sort of thing could happen, the One Chance party thing. Unfortunately political parties are big business now and like all big businesses they won't allow competition to succeed if they can help it. But one can hope. Writing, characterisation, entertainment are all brilliant 👏 thank you for this. BardnotBard

John D MacDonald has always been one of my favorites as well, and overtones of his work are present here. Not copied or even derived, but like all good writers the people you read remain present in your mind lending strength to already great talent. This was, as usual, a very well written piece that stays with readers. Of course it gets 5* plus for plot, structure, and quality of writing. This kind of story, and main characters make me a bit queasy so I can't mark it high on that axis. Never mind, on a bad day Q is better than most of the writers on this forum.

So many flaws, but a well written story.

Very well written, and absorbing showing how dark the other side of politics could be.

Most of the public certainly would feel sympathy for Greta. Maybe half would have compassion for her. Perhaps one in ten would have true empathy for her. No one, however, who was themselves cognitively and emotionally well would want to marry her before she had completed years of therapy and had a long track record of stability. The idea an experienced LEO like Jerry, who repeatedly would have seen the tragic and lasting adverse effects suffered by those have endured chronic abuse, would quickly marry Greta after her rescue from Stan and his minions was a ridiculous addition to the story that needlessly robbed it of credibility. Under the best of circumstances, she would nonetheless have been a severely damaged soul.

Quite the read. The baddest bad guys make for the best stories. They seem more satisfying.

Quite the read. The baddest bad guys make for the best stories. They seem more satisfying.

We need term limits for bureaucrats. The politicians are empty suits. The life long bureaucrats run the government.

Term limits have been tried. They work as well as anything else. As long as men are not angels governance will be messy.

Lovely story. Thank you.

Very moving, well done

Just wow. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Loved this story and so well written. Very cleverly done could. Not have predicted the turn and ending. Man's inhumanity to man. Triumph of the human spirit. Please write more!

I got to give it a 5, great story⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

If there were 10 stars, I would have marked all ten. Great story, couldn't put it aside!

The last two pages drove me to 5 stars. Well done, well read.

A mostv excellent tale.

Enjoyed nice read

I'm on the fence. On one hand, she never apologized for HER lies (by omission or direct) causing his pain, physical and emotional. On the other hand, the author keep trying to tell us she supposedly loves him. I gave it 5 stars because it's really well written and she did suffer enough, and the actual bad people were punished.

"I know he's a bit much when you first meet him, but he really is a good man."

-

I can see her saying that in some instances but it makes no sense to say it to him. It's not like she has to worry about their conversation getting back to her husband. And she *knows* her husband is NOT a good man.

way to political for me.

Hi,sorry about only giving three stars, this is more of a reflection one an Englishman's view of the American political system and my (admittedly limited) knowledge of it.

That being said the story was I think over long and (sorry but) boring.

This doesn't reflect on your otherwise very high standard of output.

Please keep writing,

Terry

It seemed to me that you devoted a lot if thought and effort into your story. Besides being a love story it also speaks on your thoughts about politics. It gives us all something to reflect on. Thanks for sharing. 5*s.

Nit pick, nit pick, niity picky, pick, pick….

Loved it, oh great grand story teller O

A bit darker than your normal prose, but satisfying non the less.

Another ten on the five scale.

Generally speaking, putting some random section from later in the story at the beginning is a bad idea. It's an even worse idea when the scene couldn't have actually happened at any point in the story. I'm guessing that the story line changed as you were writing it and, since that scene was out of sequence, it got missed in the update. So, once again, it's a bad way to start a story.

Unfortunately, the way you ended the story wasn't much better. Trying to turn it into a feel good political story just caused it to drag, killing what little momentum you still had after the reconciliation.

It's still a mostly enjoyable story, but has the potential to be much more with a good editor.

They say power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolultely, I have known powerful people and they are more wary but most are aware of powers corrupting effects and use it in a moral manner. If you replace the the word power with the word money then I have to say, corruption is guaranteed. Good story, enjoyed a lot.

Okay so this is the top of his states political machine, a supposed Machiavellian level puppet master....and his only deterrent to get his son in law not to spill the beans on his abduction and torture was he would tell everyone he's a cuck? Not to mention that he would be smeared by that same brush as she was his daughter, that's a level of stupidity that I'm not comfortable with.

Minor point, I'm surprised Stan ended up in a medium security prison...

Seems he'd be guilty of almost every crime imaginable except actual murder.

Numerous sexual crimes, blackmail and various similar crimes, probably bribery, assault and battery, kidnapping, unlawful restraint, etc, etc, etc...

Third time of reading, and I still don't understand Anonymous with all the nit-picking. It's a story, fiction, a tale, a collection of words put together by an intelligent human being for the enjoyment of others. It is irrelevant if some of the facts do not tally with history, it's the author's right to write as seems fit. I enjoyed the tale and that's all that matters to me

Stopped reading after MC went off the handle. Love lays down their life for others. Selfishness has no place only compassion.

ALMOST ONE OF THE BEST (jaybee186)

Yeah....i am also trying to figure out where the opening intro figured into the story. I don't ever complain or belittle the authors. I would just like some clarity if possible. Other that that great story and it elicited a visceral response from me. Thanks!

Downgrade …

The prenupt section at the start of the story could NOT have happened anytime after Hubby tried to get Sweetie and Vivian2 back home. The shit hitting the fan with unrealistic pressure guaranteed that Hubby and FiL would not be in contact. Further downgrade when Hubby violated his established clear-thinking and rejected any contact with Sweetie, based on shaky evidence that Hubby knew was heavily coerced. That segment added a lot of drama but at the risk of violating the MC integrity.

Another well written and engaging story. A pleasure to read a tale which is not just a beat up for walkers.

Second read if this...

...it is as good as it was the first time.

"5" of course.

My only query is when did Stan call him about the prenup at the start? Because it goes from him being beaten to then surprising stan at the rally.

So no chance for that to happen, if stan thought he was secured.

Other than that plot hole, a really fun tale.

Great story

Husband is a giant cowardly snowflake for the way he abandoned his wife after discovering her history.

Now this story is what I would call a perfect example of what I consider the Loving Wives category should be like. Great job, q.

When accolades come to a humble author, he is surprised and thankful. Such is the case with qhml1

[09.12.22]

Top Notch Tale!

11/10!!!!!

Was gonna whine about the length but got too busy getting invested in the characters. If this is indicative of how you write, don't stop.

It's good to see that you wrote with pride and from your heart.

A lot to digest here as a husband I'm not sure how I could have handled it all.

Well done!

Oh and to all those that pick on "Anonymous posts" get a life do you think all those stupid meme we names are real and transparent.

They are just as anonymous.

Sign me up for the One Chance Party. A great political story with an appropriate amount of political sex scandal. Loved it.

Ed

Loved the story as I have with all of Q's submissions, but I found the beginning a little off with the rest of the story. I don't see the connection with the million dollar conversation at the beginning of the story.

It is such a shame that the One Chance Party will never be successful. Pretty tough to get it passed by the same people it wants to put out of office. What I wouldn't give to see that become a reality.

On several literotica stories I’ve seen references to state politicians and their wealth and power, while they have some influence, the states pay very little to them. I’m very much a nobody, but three state representatives, the speaker of the house have all been to my house, I’ve been to several of theirs. I have their personal phone numbers, both of our US senators know me by sight. And as I’ve said I’m a nobody, if you get involved even at a local level and pay attention these folks WANT to know you. If Stan was a US Senator his power and wealth would fit this story. But it was still a great story.

My third reading of this story. You certainly have quite a knack for creating characters we intensely hate and building them up to the highest levels of shame and hatred. I wonder if we will ever read here a story containing avenging ghosts that discover and punish torturers, killers, children abusers and anybody else who really deserves the full treatment and then evaporate, without a trace, since they are ghosts. Care to follow up on this story with one on avenging ghosts?

5*

BJ

5*. I really wish something like that in the epilogue could happen. And written in a gripping way, exellent.

I have enjoyed this (and most all) Q tale more times than I can count. That is why one comment caught me by surprise.

'anon : I gave up on page 3 . . . boring and stiffly written'(from a month ago). Of all the words that I've seen describing Q stories, those are two that I've never seen. My favorite writer- thank you.

somewhere east of Omaha

"If you were both working for your parties, who was working for the American people?"

Substitute "American" for just about any country I guess?

The laws of probability suggest that honest politicians and lawyers do exist, but I am yet to be convinced.

"'Watch' I said, as I flushed her birth control down the toilet."

Disposing of medicines such as birth control pills, antibiotics, or mood-altering chemicals by flushing them is not advised, as traces of pharmaceuticals have been found in both water supplies and wildlife.

Very well done & moving.

And with a good complete ending.

Bill S.

Good story...

I like qhml1's writing. He tells a good story, even when it's a little dark, or maybe a lot dark. I hope he continues writing for a very long time.

Neither major party wants third party voices heard.

Interesting story, thank you. Good characters.

Aside: we have term limits - at the polls.

Nothing will change til we change.

They should have gone libertarian :)