Eniari IRL Pt. 10 - Gone Fishin'

Hey y'all, sorry this has been so long coming, real life has a habit of interrupting my flow.

Gone Fishin'

I woke up first, wonder of wonders. Dressed only in a long tee-shirt, I shuffled out into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. Some habits from my life as a middle-aged man clung to me like a bad smell. Shuffling as I walked first thing in the morning was one of them. I caught myself and made a conscious decision to break that particular habit. It didn't fit the aesthetic.

Pauli came into the kitchen, following his nose to the coffee pot.

"Ah Hooker" he mumbled, rubbing his eyes, "you are an absolute angel!"

"Coffee's not quite ready yet, Brother" I replied, "and I doubt angels deepthroat."

He chuckled "If there is a Heaven in my future, the angels there will."

When both of us had a cup o' coffee, he started throwing together breakfast: spam and eggs for the win. I felt like maybe he'd been out on the Islands for too long, he was using spam in a lot of his cooking. But when the food was ready, I could not argue with the results. It was more than just edible, he'd done something with a jar of spices and a bottle of hot-sauce that really worked with the protein heavy meal.

"It always amazes me that you can make spam good" I said, toasting him with my coffee mug.

"Spam is good" he replied, "most people just don't know how to cook it.

"Fair enough" I replied, and finished my breakfast.

Again, I took care of the breakfast dishes while he got himself ready for work. We seemed to be falling into a pattern, at least as far as working mornings went. The kitchen was cleaned up and Pauli was dressed for work. He had some time before he had to leave, so we sat out at the picnic table in the yard and enjoyed another cup o' coffee each.

"So, what are you doing today, Hooker?" he asked.

"I don't really know" I responded, "I suppose I'll use the herbs I harvested yesterday and mix up some healing potions to replace the ones I've used."

"You wanna go fishing?" he asked, "Maybe do a beach side cook-out after?"

"Sounds like fun" I said, "will you have time for all that after work?"

"I'mma take off early today" he said, "I'll meet you at the dock around noon."

"See you there" I said.

With that, he finished his coffee, hopped in his car and departed for work. I took the mugs back into the house and, with nothing better to do, started mixing heal pots.

Time flies when you're focused on doing a good job. The bright red potions were bottled up, and the stoppers sealed with wax when I noticed the time. I left the pots to cool on the counter and hurried out of the house. Door locked behind me, I whistled for my Hippogrif. Part horse, part eagle, the creature appeared from the sky and landed nimbly in the yard. I mounted up and took to the heavens, covering the distance between the Pauli's place and the dock in seconds.

I spotted Pauli's car and landed behind it.

"Bout time you showed up" he chided, "another five minutes and I was gonna go looking for you."

"Sorry I'm late, I lost track of time" I responded, "So, fishing today?" I asked, to change the subject.

"Yep, "he replied, "Got the Captain all ready to take us out whenever yer ready to go."

"Sweet, another boat ride!" I said happily.

We walked down the pier to the Island Girl's slip where the Captain was waiting for us.

"Lubbers" scoffed the Captain, "you be lucky to catch anything going out this late!"

He had been paid in advance though, and so was happy to take us out to where he thought there might be some decent fishing. About an hour out from the dock he furled the sail and broke out a couple of deep-sea rigs.

"I gotta admit," I said, "the only ocean fishing I've ever done was off the pier at Ocean Beach" and off the piers at Darkshore, Teldrassil, Darkmoon Island, Stormwind Docks...but I didn't say that.

"That's fine, Tits" said the Captain, "you can bait the hooks, I hear yer a master baiter."

"Goddess Pauli," I exclaimed, "is there no privacy on this island??"

"Not when you're as loud as you are" he replied, smirking.

The Captain was kidding, of course. He had a few deep-sea rigs set up and ready for us, and was kind enough to show me how to use the big, open reel. It was a nice rig, and I'm sure both the Captain and Pauli thought I was insane when I whipped out my Nat Pagle Extreme Angler FC-5000, popped a Shiny Bauble on it and threw a line over the side. Within 20 seconds I had a bite; that's how the magic works I guess. I pulled up a nice sized Ahi, which we popped into the boat's live well. I knew I could pull 'em in all day like that, but I decided to use the Captains rig and actually enjoy the act of fishing.

As the sun rose higher in the ultra-blue tropical sky, the day grew warmer. I used some sun-block on my exposed skin to keep from getting burnt and turning purple. The breeze across the water was enough to keep it comfortable while we fished and drank and told sea-stories.

"...and that was how I finally got away from her" said the Captain, "but I never forgot her, and named my boat in honor of the crazy bitch!"

Pauli and I laughed, the dirty old sailor could have a hundred stories about as many "island girls" and any of them would fit the name of his boat.

"What about you, Tits" he said, "surely you've got some tales to tell."

I nodded, "What kind do you want to hear" I asked, "In-Game or Out?"

"Out" he said, "I want history, not fantasy!"

"Very well" I said, and thought for a moment.

"Have you ever sailed on the Indian Ocean?" I asked.

"No" he replied, "this is as far West as I've dared to venture."

"Well then" I started, "You should know that the IO is not like other oceans..." I launched into a sea-story from my days in the Navy:

During my first WestPac deployment (1993/94) our ARG was diverted from a Liberty call in Australia to an international incident in Mogadishu, Somalia. Ever seen the movie Blackhawk Down, yeah we responded to the events in that movie with a full Amphibious Ready Group and all of our embarked Marines and their equipment.

One of the major features on the coast of Mogadishu, is a camel abattoir; and, it being a developing nation, they didn't really have any EPA to get in the way of them dumping all the waste from the slaughterhouse directly into the coastal waters. The sharks off the coast of Somalia are well fed and huge. Once, while I was off watch, I was spending a little time up on the foc'sle taking in some sunshine. One of the gunners up there hollered and pointed into the water. There, easily visible on both sides of the bow of the ship was the most enormous hammerhead shark I'd ever seen. It was easily 20 ft. long.

We spent 4 months either anchored or floating back and forth along that coastline. It came to be known as Groundhog Station because we got up and did the same thing every day. When we were finally relieved of our watch there, we began the long trip back to the states. I want you to consider traveling halfway around the world...at a top speed of 20 knots (about 23 mph).

One night, as we were crossing the IO, the entire ocean was lit up by bio-luminescence (we thought). The night sky was dark except for the brilliant star-light and there was no moon. The ocean shone brighter than the sky. I was on watch with my section in CIC when the aft lookout called up a light contact on the horizon. We had nothing on the scope at first, but as the light grew dimmer we began to pick up a very distinct contact. Whatever it was it was moving faster than we were (no surprise) and coming right at us. Eventually, the lookout lost sight of the contact altogether, but we had a strong trace on the scope, and the bridge was starting to get nervous about a possible collision. We lost the contact in the sea return around the ship as we all braced for an impact that never came. Eventually we picked up a strong track on the opposite bearing, headed away from us. We tracked it out to the edge of our scopes and then the forward lookouts spotted a light on the horizon.

"And that" I concluded, "was the time I tracked the Flying Dutchman."

"Bullshit!" said the Captain.

"We all agreed it was a ghost track, but the lights that the lookouts saw were not a failure in the electronics" I said, "and of course the Bridge crew would have none of the superstitions, they explained it as a low flying aircraft (with no lights and making no noise) or a submarine, but the only subs in the area would have been Indian Kilo's, and those old diesel/electric boats don't have the kind of speed we saw that night."

The Captain thought about it for a moment and then started in on a tale of the northern waters of the inland passageway.

The afternoon passed pleasantly, and when the live-well was full and the cooler was empty we headed for home.

Almost as soon as we tied up, there were a couple of big islanders waiting to help up unload our catch. The Captain spoke with them, and consulted with Pauli. The big Hawaiians quickly emptied the live well and preceded us up on to the pier, as we said our good-byes to the Captain. Once on the pier, one of the big guys handed Pauli a heavy bundle of butcher paper and said "Mahalo!" before joining his partner at what appeared to be a fish-cleaning station.

Pauli nodded and smiled as we headed up the pier to the parking lot.

"I'm guessing that's dinner" I said.

"Yep, filleted and packaged for us." He replied.

"That was quick!" I said.

"Those guys don't fuck around!" he said, "They get to keep most of the catch, which they will sell to others, or take home for the family."

When we got to the car, dinner was loaded and we drove down to the beach.

Pauli set up for grilling the fish and made a couple of phone calls.

"There's no way we're eating all of this," he said, "so I've invited some friends to bring sides and beer."

"Sounds good" I said, halfheartedly. I didn't know these people and I wasn't looking forward to explaining myself to new strangers.

The first couple to show up were Caucasian, but had obviously been on the islands for most of their lives. Deeply tanned, old surfer types with an enormous cooler full of beer.

Pauli introduced me as Eniari and left it at that. They were cool, taking in my appearance without missing a beat and handing me a beer. We talked about fishing and surfing and beer until the next few people showed up. The cute little firecracker from my first morning here and her kids. She brought a couple of tubs of sliced fruit and something called Poi.

She greeted me warmly and then hollered at her kids not to go too far away.

When the fish hit the grill it was covered in aluminum foil with seasonings inside; I was assured that this was how it was done. I happily drank my beer and socialized there on the beach with a group of friends I never knew I had.

When the fish was ready, we ate. Paper plates, plastic flatware, aluminum cans...grilled Ahi never had such good company. The fish itself was amazing; Pauli and his friends certainly knew how to eat. The smell of the food attracted others, and since there was more here than could be finished by our group, we welcomed them to join us: A touristy looking couple of teens, an older looking gentleman that was probably homeless, and a familiar little gnome.

"Pica!" I shouted, when I saw her.

"Eni!" she shouted back, grinning.

I knelt down to put myself at eye level for her and we chatted about the food, beer, Blizzard, and monsters.

"...so I figured out pretty quickly that CPR plus potions and bandages will work on a mundane that's been killed by a monster." I finished up my tale.

"Wow" she said, "I had heard about stuff slipping through, but I hadn't seen any of it yet."

"I'm sure you will" I said, "according to the forums, it seems that if we stay in one place long enough, that place begins to look like home."

"This is home, Eni" she said sadly.

"I know, but you know what I mean" I said, "Darnassus for me, Ironforge for you, I get spiders and forest spirits, you get wolves and pigs..." I thought about it for a minute, "which are naturally occurring animals anyway."

"No wonder I haven't seen anything really out of the ordinary" she chuckled.

"I wonder about the Lobstrocity I killed" I said.

"They have those everywhere including Darkshore, right?" she asked.

"Yeah, and they feature pretty heavily in Black Fathom Deeps" I replied.

"Well that's all Night Elf themed" she replied.

"Nelf, Naga, and Satyr with a dash of cultist thrown in just for fun!" I joked.

"Let's be honest" she said, "Naga and Satyr are just corrupted Nelfs."

We laughed and drank our beers. It was a great afternoon that quickly lead into a great evening. We had a little fire there on the beach, someone set up a couple of tiki torches, and someone else was softly strumming a Ukulele. After all the food was gone, and all the beer had been consumed, the party started to drift apart. The firecracker and her kids left, then the touristy couple, Pauli's buddies and the old guy left shortly after that.

Soon it was down to Pauli, Pica and me alone on the beach.

"Hey Eni" Pica whispered, "watch this!"

"So, big guy" she addressed Pauli, "ever been worked over by a Gnome?"

He looked startled and started to stammer out a reply.

She casually strolled over to where he sat on the sand, looked him dead in the eye, and said "I would break you!"

Pauli had no idea what to say, he just sat there looking confused for a second as she leaned forward and kissed him on the tip of the nose.

"Don't worry, hun" she said, "I won't break you tonight."

I couldn't help but laugh at the little Gnome's antics. "Oh my Goddess" I said, "you are such a troll!"

She grinned at me, gave Pauli a big hug around his neck and said "Thanks for Dinner, y'all!" before teleporting away.

"What the fuck was that?!" Pauli exclaimed.

"Just a Gnome yankin' yer chain, Brother" I replied, chuckling.

"Geezus I wasn't sure if she was gonna rape me or beat me to death" he said.

I pulled my best Austin Powers "Did that make you randy, baby, did it?"

"Shut up, Dude!" he said.

"Ha! I'll let her know you want a li'l sumpin' sumpin' next time she's around" I teased.

"Don't" he warned.

"Dude!" I said excitedly, "Can you even imagine how huge your dick would look in her hand?"

"Oh-my-fuckin-god, Dude, shut-up!" he was laughing now though.

"And you know that pussy is tight!" I continued.

He was rollin' with laughter.

"Just admit it, dude" I said, "you like your lovers Fun-Sized!"

We were both laughing loudly now, the fire was almost dead, and our last beers were in-hand. A gibbous moon was rising from the dark expanse of the Pacific ocean, it looked huge from here for some reason.

"Arright Hooker" he said, rising from the sand, "we need to be getting home I think."

"I agree" I said, dusting the sand off my long legs.

We buried the last embers of the dying fire and walked to the road to begin the leisurely stroll back to his house, neither one of us sober enough to drive.

"No monsters tonight" he said.

"Dammit dude, don't say anything" I exclaimed, "you'll put a hex on the whole deal!" I knocked on a wooden fence-post as we passed, just for comfort.

The walk back to the house was blessedly uneventful, and I was more than a little relieved when we got inside and locked the door behind us.

"Dude, what you so nervous about?" he asked, "I've seen you work with those blades, and I'm not worried."

"That's the thing, you have no reason to be worried" I said, "so I gotta be worried for both of us."

"Aw, that's sweet" he teased, "you worry about me."

He chuckled and reached under the couch cushion, pulling out his nickel plated.357, "Don't worry about me when we're here dude, I got this."

I actually felt a little better when I saw the pistol. "Okay Brother, I'll just keep my guard up when we're outside."

Impatience

The day dawned beautiful, as they do on the Islands. Pauli and I followed what had become the morning routine of coffee and breakfast, with me cleaning up the kitchen while he got ready for work.

"Plans today?" he asked.

"Electrical Work" I replied.

He raised an eyebrow "Got tools?"

"I'll get what I need" I said.

And out the door he went, off to another day working his 9-5. It was almost Friday though, and I was really looking forward to seeing the Bartender again. Partly because I enjoyed her company, but mostly because I was pretty sure she and Pauli were gonna make me a sammich.

I left the house shortly after Pauli, flying downtown to find a hardware store. I picked up a smart switch for his front porch light, and some basic electrical tools so that I'd have something to complete the installation.

When I returned to the house, it was as I had left it. I found the breaker box and switched off the circuit. I installed the smart switch, re-energized the circuit and set the operational parameters. When the work was done, I walked back to the diner where Pauli had first introduced me to the Bartender. As luck would have it, she had not yet quit to pursue real estate full time.

"Heya Eni" she called as I stepped through the door.

I greeted her and took a seat at the bar. "What's good today?" I asked.

"It's all good" she said, "but if you're looking for lunch, I like the pulled pork sliders with mac salad."

"Sounds good" I said, "and please bring me some ice water with lemon, I feel like I've been living on alcohol since I got here!"

She chuckled and put my order in. "So what brings you back here?" she asked.

"I've been thinking about your offer" I blurted.

She smiled knowingly "I figured you were warming up to the idea."

"I stuffed myself with the...uh...toy" at this point I looked around to see if there was anyone else listening, "and I kinda liked it. Is the real thing much different?"

She giggled and blushed a little, "It's way better" she said, "I kinda thought you and Pauli would fool around and find out what worked for you."

"Yeah, not so much" I said, "I think we're both more comfortable when you are the center of attention."

"Aww, that's sweet" she cooed, "but y'all can, and probably should, make sure your both okay with actual sexual contact."

"I mean, I've blown him" I replied, weakly.

"Yeah, with me right there practically holding your hand" she chided.

I couldn't argue with her. Most all of my masturbatory fantasies had involved both the Bartender and Pauli.

"Anyway" she continued, "I know where Pauli and I stand, and I'm confident enough to give you permission to 'use' him even if I'm not there." She looked at me seriously for a moment before continuing, "But I want to hear all about it afterward, and it'd be nice if one of you could send me pictures while it's happening. That'd be kinda hot."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, "Does this make us a polycule?" I asked.

"If you have to put a name on it, I'd call us all Friends with Benefits" she replied, "at least for as long as you're here."

My order was up, and I devoured the sliders and mac salad. The diner started getting busy with its lunch rush, so the Bartender and I were unable to continue our previous conversation.

"See you tomorrow night?" I asked as I settled the bill.

"Definitely!" she replied, grinning.

I left her to her work and took a leisurely stroll back to Pauli's place. My path was not direct, but the little bungalow was my ultimate destination. Down to the beach, over to the marina, through the little neighborhoods around my home-away-from-home, I was burning time and thinking about how I would seduce my best friend.