Enlivened Dreams Pt. 01

I looked around the room that has been my entire life for the last 18 years. The smell of fresh paint wafted through the air. I spent years drawing all over those walls. Since my parents were going to rent out the room once I left, it needed to start anew; like me. I started transitioning around the time I started high school and I had only gotten better at passing since then. I started hormones my sophomore year, so my body had developed quite a bit over the years. I was a little chunky, but the hormones helped in filling and feminizing my frame. One of my best features has always been my hair; I have always been proud of it. It had been growing since my eighth-grade year and by the time I was leaving for college it was a long, wavy mane of thick black hair. I had certainly developed passing privilege since I started hormones. Though I was pretty, I had not had much luck with guys. I only had one boyfriend around the time I started hormones. He eventually broke up with me because he thought he could date a trans girl, but then decided he couldn't. Ever since then, I had definitely put dating on the back burner and focused on my art. That definitely paid off since I got some amazing scholarships to a private arts college a couple of hours outside of town. I was glad that it wasn't too far away because my parents had been a huge source of support for me and I didn't want to be too far away from them. Many things were going through my mind while I stood in this empty room. Suddenly, my mom entered.

"Hey, sweetheart! Are you ready?" She stood there with tears in her eyes.

"Yeah. What's wrong, mom?" I walked to her and gave her a hug.

"It's just... my baby is leaving me. I know this is a great opportunity that you've wanted for so long but... I just need time to deal with this. But, I'm so proud of you." We separated.

"I'm only a couple of hours away. You can come see me like every other weekend or something. You know you're my best friend." She started crying.

"I'm... I'm sorry. Yeah, you're right. Are these the last of your bags?" She grabbed one of the three suitcases on the floor while I grabbed the other two.

"Yeah. Is dad in the car?" We started heading out.

"Yeah. Are you sure you've got everything?" I stood there for a second looking around.

"Yeah, I've got everything. I'm ready to go." We got into the car and took off.

After about a three-and-a-half-hour drive, we finally arrived at the college. My parents and I had already been through the orientation and the college tour. We all thought the place was gorgeous. I got a chance to look at the first-year dorm that I would be staying at for the, quite obvious, first year. We pulled up to the building and saw a huge group of returning students helping arriving students get moved into their rooms. We got out of the car and were greeted by a young girl with long, blonde hair. She was holding a clipboard and asked me my name.

"Hey! Welcome! Welcome! Can I get a name?" She pressed her pen to the paper and listened intently.

"It's Isabel...Clark. Isabel Clark. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be on the second floor." I helped my parents get my bags out of the car.

"Ah! Yes! You're right! You'll be in room 215 with... Cecile. So, is this all your stuff?" Some of the student helpers grabbed the bags from my parents and the rest of my stuff from the car and started for the building.

"Wow! I like this school for you already, Izzy." My father chuckled, quite impressed by the helping hands.

"Yeah, we are all volunteers. We just wanna make it easier for the new students to move in and get started for their next four years here. If you'll follow me." She started leading the way to my room.

We entered the huge, glass lobby that had a bunch of big, green, comfy looking, faux leather chairs grouped in threes around small, brown coffee tables. To the immediate left, was a large community kitchen with modern, stainless steel appliances and several long tables with chairs in every available spot. To the right, were four elevators side by side, and only accessible via student I.D. card. My mom started talking to the girl leading us, as we entered the elevators.

"I'm sorry. What was your name again?" The girl covered her mouth and looked embarrassed.

"Oh, my gosh! I'm so sorry! I'm Melissa. I'm heading the volunteer group for floors one and two; I'm also the RA and a third-year in modern dance." She and my parents shook hands.

"Well, it's wonderful to meet you. I'm glad to see that my daughter will have someone to go to if she is having any problems." My mom seemed to be a little more at ease.

"Oh, of course! Isabel, if you have any problems, just come to my room and we'll get it worked out. Or, if you just wanna talk or anything. I'm in room 220." We shook hands as the elevator doors opened.

We made our way down a long hallway; it seemed to go on forever.

"Okay, guys! We're almost there! Sorry. I get a little excited helping the students move into their dorms. Okay, here we are! Okay, so you have your student I.D., right?" She waited as I took it out of my wallet.

With the I.D. in hand, I awaited further instruction, "Okay, great! So, what you want to do is hold the card up against the keypad. Then, once you hear the beep, you'll type in your four-digit passcode."

I punched in my code and opened the door to a decently sized room. It was suite-style with a door separating my roommate's room from mine. Melissa started looking at the clipboard.

"Let's see. It looks like your room is...215-A... this one! Your roommate hasn't gotten here yet but she should be here by five p.m. on Sunday at the latest. Okay, so do you guys have any questions?" She said with a smile on her face.

"No, I think we're okay. Thanks!" I started looking around the room, planning where I was going to put my furniture.

"Okay, well I'll let you guys get situated. If you have any questions, I'll be down stairs." And with that, she left us.

"So, you guys gonna help me put my stuff away and get some housing necessities from the store." I smiled at them and we got to work.

After a few hours of setting up my room and getting stuff from Target, my parents and I said our goodbyes.

"Bye, guys! I'll miss you so much!" I hugged my parents.

"I'm gonna miss you so much, sweetheart!" My mom hugged me again.

"Okay, sweetheart. Let's get heading home and leave her to get situated and familiar with the campus. I love you, sweetie" My Dad gave me another hug and a kiss on the forehead.

They hopped in the car and pulled off. I decided to get my purse and walk around campus to find my classrooms so I wouldn't get lost when the semester started. I slowly made my way around campus and found the rooms sooner than expected, so I decided to look at some of the flyers that were hanging on a large corkboard outside one of the buildings. One of them had mentioned a party happening at some mansion not far from campus. I'm not a huge party person but I decided to take a picture of it on my phone anyway, just in case I wanted to go. With that, I decided to head back to my room. I pulled out my drawing materials and started creating. After a couple of hours, my friend, Nichelle, called.

"Hey, girl! So, have you gotten moved in yet?" I asked her.

"Yeah. What about you? Why did you decide to go to a school so close?" I could hear her opening closets and drawers and assumed she was putting stuff away.

"I got the scholarships, remember? The school is pretty much paying me to go here. So, you gonna party tonight?" I laughed out loud. I know her all too well.

"Bitch, you know it! That's half the fun of coming here! Fuck!" She kept cussing over the phone.

"What's wrong? What happened?" I stopped drawing at that point.

"Nothing major. I just forgot my phone charger at home. Now, I have to go to the store and get another one. God damn!" She kept putting her stuff away.

"Damn, bitch! You had me thinking you found a dead body or some shit." I started drawing again.

"So, you partying tonight? That college you going to... I heard they always have some wild parties happening down there!" She chuckled.

"Now, girl! You know I'm not the partying type. Too many people, too many dumbasses and too much... everything!" I decided to put aside my drawings.

"Bitch! You were always like that in high school! It's your time to have some real fun!" I could hear her snapping her fingers and doing the little corny ass dance she does when talking about partying. Then, out of breath, she decided to sit down.

"Damn! I need to sit down a minute. So damn tired from movin'." I could hear her breathing a little heavy.

"Yeah, I guess. I did see a flyer about a mansion party near-by. You think I should go?" I heard Nichelle suck her teeth.

"Yes! Girl, you look good and you need to have some fun! Girl, I need to lose weight." She said the latter part as she struggled to get up.

"Where did that come from?" I laughed.

"I sat on this floor and about died trying to get back up!" She started unpacking again.

"Girl, you look good! Stop it!" I got my purse and headed out of my door to go get something to eat.

"Bitch! I didn't say I don't look good! I just said I needed to lose some weight." I heard her door open and then close.

"Girl, did you just leave? You going to eat, bitch?!" I laughed.

"Hell yeah! I'm hungry." She chuckled.

"Girl, so am I! We got a fat bitch psychic connection!" We both started laughing.

"Now you know, yo' ass ain't fat. What are you, One-eighty?" I sucked my teeth and made a face as if she could have seen me.

"Girl, I'm 190. But thank you!" I walked into one of the only open restaurants on campus.

"Where you at?" She asked.

I decided to sit at a table because I hate people who stay on the phone when they order and I didn't want to be one of those people.

"Five guys. You?" I looked over the menu.

"I don't know. I found some noodle place near the school. I'm in the mood for some ramen." I decided what I wanted to order and got off of the phone.

"Okay, girl. I'm gonna go eat. And I guess I'll go to this party." I started walking to the counter.

"Good! Tell me how it goes tonight when you get home, girl!" We hung up the phone and I proceeded to order.

I ordered a cheeseburger with Cajun style fries and a vanilla milkshake with cherry mix-ins. Once I got back to my room, I destroyed that food. I felt so full and gross. At that point it was nine o'clock and the party started at 11. I decided to get ready. After about 45 minutes, I finally decided on a black tank top with black, distressed short shorts and my black Demonia bravo-23 boots. I sprayed on my favorite perfume, obsession; sure, it came out in the 80's but I like it. I usually kept my hair in a messy bun, but I let my black waves flow free that night. I took the chance of getting lost and rode the bus. As I got off, and walked closer to the mansion, I noticed there was someone standing at the door. I pulled out my phone to check the picture that I had taken to make sure that I was in the right place. While perusing the picture, I noticed that it said it was a 21+ party. Of course! One of the only times I decided to go to a party, and I couldn't get in. As I stood there contemplating how I could get past the guy at the door, I heard someone from behind me.

"You need help getting in?" I jumped and turned around to look at the guy.

He was some white dude with near shoulder length light brown hair, aviator eyeglasses and looked to be in his mid-20s. He had on a black Iron Maiden t-shirt with a hooded leather jacket, black skinny jeans and black combat boots.

"Uhhh... how do you know I need your help?" I said it with a little attitude.

"Oh, please. You reek of freshman." He laughed.

"Oh. Well, would you really help me?" I turned back to the house to watch others easily making their way inside.

"Of course! Come on, let's go. I'm Michael, by the way" He put his arm around me as we started walking toward the house.

"I'm Isabel." As I introduced myself, his cologne punched me in the face... in a good way! He smelled amazing.

Michael and the guy at the front door seemed to know each other. The guy at the door looked at him, then me, then back at him before letting us in. As we made our way inside, I thanked him.

"Well, thanks for helping me! I'll see ya'!" Just as I started to walk away, he jumped in front of me.

"Wait a minute! Let me get you a drink. Come on! It's not like you know anyone else here." He seemed nice, so I accepted.

"So, you're a first year but do you know what you want to do?" He tried, unsuccessfully, to hide the fact that he was looking at my body.

"Yes, actually. I wanna focus on animation. I'd really like to work for an animation studio or something like that." He just nodded his head.

"That's awesome! I'm a second-year grad student. I'm also a TA for an interactive media class in the drama department" Just as I thought he'd never stopped staring at my chest, he finally looked into my eyes.

"That's awesome! Maybe we'll see each other around campus." He got a little closer to me as I spoke.

"Oh, I'm sure we will. So, where are you from?" He said with a grin on his face.

"I'm from a little town a couple of hours north of here. What about you?" I got another drink and quickly finished it.

"I'm from upstate New York." I felt so awkward being around so many older people.

"Cool. Everyone is so much older than me. I feel so self-conscious." We chuckled.

"Don't be. Almost everyone here is a grad student, so we're not too much older. You're good! Pretty cute, too." I blushed and he got just a bit closer.

"Oh! So, I'm just cute?" Suddenly, he was the one blushing.

"Naw, naw! You're actually really sexy." He got so close that I could feel the heat emanating from his body.

"Well, thank you!" He started rubbing my forearm. Odd place to put his hand. I had never had someone rub my forearm as a flirt.

"No problem. So, do you have a boyfriend back home. Anyone I'd have to worry about?" He chuckled.

"Well, I'm not seeing anyone. But I'm also not looking to see anyone either. I'm trying to focus on my classes and do well, at least for my first semester." There was a noticeable shift in his mood.

"Oh, okay. Well, I think I just saw my friend come in. I just remembered I need to talk to him about...something. I'll catch you later." And with that he took off, leaving me standing there shocked.

I spoke out loud, "What the fuck?! What an asshole!" I was grabbing another drink when two women approached me.

"Hey! This is Stacey, I'm Amber and we just saw what happened. That guy was an asshole. You okay?" I was glad I wasn't the only one who thought the guy was a dick.

"I know, right! Yeah, I'm good. Thanks!" They said that I could hang with them and so I did.

After a fun rest of the night, I decided to head home. The girls drove me back to my room and I completely crashed. I'm not usually a drinker but I got a little crazy that night. I woke up, still clothed, makeup on and spread out all over the bed. I had a severe hangover and six missed calls from my Mom. I called her back and assured her that I just crashed after looking around the campus. After I relieved her of her fears that I had been murdered, I decided to go to an event that the school was holding. It was a more detailed, student oriented, tour by some of the older undergrads. They showed us all of the hangout spots and clubs that allowed 18 and older. I broke off from the group and went into a Starbucks nearby. I ordered a caramel frap, sat at a table and started surfing on my MacBook. I mostly watched drawing videos on YouTube or watch 80s B-horror movies. I was watching, and following along with, a video of someone drawing Disney cartoons on YouTube. I like studying classic cartoons. Suddenly, I heard some guy from behind me speak,

"That looks really good! Do you go to the art school?" I only had one headphone in so I couldn't pretend not to hear him.

"Thanks! Yeah, I do." Mind you, this man looks about 40 years old.

"Awesome! So, are you a freshman?" He asked with a pervy grin on his face.

"Yeah. How did you know?" I tried to seem busy but he just kept talking.

"I'd have remembered seeing you in here before. I'd remember someone as beautiful as you." So, I was right about him being pervy.

"Oh...thanks. Well, I'm kinda doing work soooo..." I turned back around.

He spoke under his breath as he turned away, "Fucking bitch."

I immediately turned around, "Excuse me?! What did you just call me?"

"Nothing. I was talking to myself." He wouldn't look me in the face.

"No, I think you just called me a bitch because I didn't want to talk to you." I started packing up my shit at that point.

Now, my street started coming out, "Imma tell you what. You lucky I'm new here and I ain't tryna' catch a case, you old bastard." I grabbed my now packed book bag, threw the rest of my drink in his face and walked out the door.

I realized that I may have just done something really bad, so I just started running. I heard someone shout for me to stop but I just ran even faster. I found an alley and hid inside to catch my breath. Someone ran up behind me and grabbed my arm to keep me from running again. I struggled for a minute before I realized it was Michael, the dick from the party.

"Hey! Stop running! Jesus, you're fast." He doubled over breathing hard and wheezing before taking out an inhaler.

"What are you chasing me for?!" I was about to throw hands.

"I saw what you did back there and I thought it was awesome. I'm sure he deserved what he got. Look...I know that I was an asshole at that party last night-." I interjected.

"Ya' think? You blew me off because...why? Because I didn't wanna fuck? You're almost as bad as that guy back there!" I started turning away.

"Now, that's not fair! I never said anything rude, I just...Can we start over? Please. You seem like a really nice girl and I was just...I'd really like to get to know you." I felt a little empathetic, but he was still pretty douchey.

"That's no excuse for how you acted last night." Looking disappointed, he turned and started walking away.

"Okay, fine! Do you want to go out tomorrow night?" He started walking back.

"Yes! I promise you won't regret this." He looked so excited.

"Okay, calm down. You're starting to look a little desperate." We both laughed.

"Naw, I just... I think you are beautiful and I'm really glad that I have a chance to get to know you better." We just stand there, not sure what to say to each other.

"Want me to walk you to your room?" He had a little grin on his face.

"Yeah, I guess. Thanks, Michael." He looked a little shocked.

"Hey! You remembered my name!" I laughed out loud.

"Yeah, I thought you were nice... at first." He sucked his teeth.

Before I knew it, we were at my building. We set up the specifics of our date for the next night and said our goodbyes. Michael is actually a pretty sweet guy when he isn't acting dick'ish. I went upstairs and told Nichelle about everything.

"Oh! All those smart, artistic brothers there and you still going for those white boys." She laughed but I was a little annoyed.

"Nichelle, you know I'm half white, right?" She huffed loudly over the phone.

"Girl, I was playin'! At least tell me he ain't a dork like that one and only boyfriend you had." I hesitated to answer.

"Oh my God, girl! Why?!" She seemed annoyed but I pleaded my case.

"It depends on your definition of a dork. Yeah, my last...guy... friend was a dork but this guy is nice. He isn't awkward like him." I thought that this was a good enough reason to give him a chance.

"Alright, girl! If he is going to make you happy, then that's all that matters. Is he cute?" I smiled.