by 46204_zipper
Hot and we'll done! I look forward to more of your writing.
This story should have been told in one submission, about two pages worth. No way it should have been three separate installments. If you have another story banging around in your head, try to tell the whole thing in one go. Oh, and PROOFREAD. You are not the worst writer here on Lit, but there are quite a few annoying grammar and construction mistakes. A well told story is also well written and readable.