Esther and Star Ch. 02

I had two text messages, both from Star.

The first read, "Going to call again at 9:30. Pls answer!"

The latest one read, "Calling again at 9:45. Answer! Pls!"

As I read, another text from her came in. "Answer at 10, brother mine. Esther doesn't know you were here. Answer, and I release you from your J&J promise. Love, S."

The time on my phone read 9:54.

I did not expect this at all. How could Esther not know? "Love, S?" What the hell had happened after I left? It almost seemed like nothing, nothing at all.

The fucking whopper was the end of her note. I knew she was serious, then. Releasing me from my promise meant that I could ask her, finally, why she had me beat the fuck out of Jericho and Jackamanie. I wanted to know; I had wanted it for years. I needed closure on that shitty part of my life.

I answered her call at 10:00 sharp, forgetting completely the plan I had been formulating to kill myself.

"Hey, Star."

"Oh, my gosh. Thank you for answering. Thank you!" I opened my mouth to talk, and Star said, "Now, please listen to what I need to say."

Here it comes.

"First, you fucking asshole, you ripped my favorite poster! Do you know how long I've had that?"

I burst into laughter, not at her loss, but at her sincerity and at the way she never quit surprising me. It was full of relief, my laughter.

Star never laughed once, but I could tell from her voice that she was just as relieved as I was.

"You think it's funny? I loved that poster. You owe me, brother mine. Okay, next, that really hurt, and you need to say sorry."

"I'm sorry, Star."

"On second thought, sorry isn't good enough. You need to tell me that you love me, and then say sorry."

"I'm sorry. I love you, Star."

"That was the wrong order, but I guess that's okay. Third, I need to say sorry to you." She paused for a moment and then began, "I couldn't stop myself. Esther is so gentle and beautiful, and I knew she was starting to be afraid of sex, and I wanted her to feel how wonderful and amazing it can be. I never should have done that. I told you I wouldn't. I convinced myself that, being a guy, you'd end up thinking it was sexy, seeing us that way. I was wrong. Brother mine, I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?"

"Yes. I do. I just got jealous, Star. I lost control."

"I did, too, don't you see?"

"Yes, fuck it, yes. I'm sorry. I forgive you. You forgive me?

"Yes! That's what I've been saying, dumbass."

I chuckled again.

"You need to come home before Esther gets worried about you."

"Okay."

"You'll come home? We'll see you soon?"

"Yes."

I hung up and texted Esther. "Movie's done. On my way home."

I glanced at the big Citgo sign by Fenway Park. I closed my eyes, took a huge gulp of air, and blew it out. I looked up at the night sky and whispered, "Thank you."

Then, I ran back to the apartment.

Star was watching television with Esther. I grabbed a bite to eat and showered, still astounded by how things had worked out. Esther came in the room when I got out. She asked about the movie. I told her I barely even watched it. She began getting ready for bed.

"Hey, Esther, are you okay?"

She thought about her answer. "I think so. Everything is just different now."

"Was the book a mistake?"

"No!" she blurted, and then she cleared her throat. "No. I'm glad that I read it. My eyes are open."

"Are you going to tell your family—I don't know—give them a copy of the book?"

She shook her head, sadly. "I've thought about that. I don't think I will, sweets. I mean, they've lived over 50 years as Witnesses. I don't see how I can deliberately set out to sabotage that and make them realize they've wasted so much of their lives, you know?"

"Yeah." Then, I asked, "Is there any way to get them back? Your family?"

"So long as they are Witnesses, and I'm disfellowshipped, no."

"Then, is it worth a try? The book?"

She thought about it for several seconds, and then shook her head again, "I don't think I could do it to them."

"Okay. Do you want to talk about anything—anything about how you're feeling and what you're thinking?"

"Not tonight. I'm tired." She went to the bathroom.

When she came out and slid into bed beside me, I said, "I'm sorry, Ess, that I...I failed you." Fuck, that was hard for me to say, but it needed to get done. "I'm trying to learn."

"I am, too, Sweets."

I wasn't tired. For some crazy reason, I felt like reaching for a book, but there were none in my nightstand. So, I turned off my light and laid there, thinking.

What a fucking day. Holy shit.

Sometime around midnight, I got up and went into the living room. I turned on the tv. The couch was too soft for sleeping. I grabbed a long pillow and laid on the floor in front of it. I flipped through the channels, hoping to find something that might take my mind off of the worst parts of the day. I ended up on a classic movie channel, watching some old war pic. It was June 5th, and I guess they run war movies around d-day.

I glanced to my right and Star was standing beside me, wrapped in a pink fuzzy blanket.

"Geez!" I hissed. My entire body flinched

She smiled. "Sorry to sneak up on you. Couldn't sleep?"

I shook my head.

"Me, neither. Care if I join you?"

"No."

She briefly opened the blanket when she sat down. I caught a glimpse of her thighs and panties before she curled it back around herself. I turned back to the movie.

"Are you okay? Your neck?" I asked.

"I just have a headache is all."

"I'm sorry."

"Me, too. Aren't you cold?"

I was in my usual—basketball shorts and nothing else. I didn't haul out a blanket or anything. "It's June, Star. No."

"But the air conditioning, I mean."

"I'm perfect."

We watched in silence for five minutes, and I could feel her glancing at me every so often. Finally, I asked.

"What?"

"Will you give me a head rub, like when we were kids?"

I looked at her. No guy could refuse her face. "Yes, but I'm not moving. I'm comfortable here."

She liked to be carried by me, yes, but she also liked when I gave her a kind of head or scalp massage. I hadn't given her one since I was probably eleven years old.

She smiled and said, "I'll just lay here."

I didn't know where "here" was until she laid on her side at a right angle to me and rested her head on my belly for a pillow, facing the television. Her hair was all over my bare chest, and I liked how silky it felt.

"Oh, my gosh," she said, "your body is warm."

I brought my hands up and buried my fingers in her hair, wiggling down to the scalp, and then I slowly rubbed tiny circles. She uttered a long hum of satisfaction, and I liked the sound.

"Can I ask you something?" she muttered.

"Yeah."

"You can be honest."

I waited.

"Were you going to really hurt me earlier? Like, really kill me? I won't be mad."

For a fraction of a second, I wondered how I ought to answer. I stopped rubbing her head and said, "What?"

"You heard me."

I sighed. "I don't know what I was going to do. I lost it." I began massaging her again. When she didn't say anything, I finally said, "Maybe."

"Sometimes—sometimes I feel like I can read your mind."

"You're my sister, and I love you. I'm sorry."

"It's over," she said, and her face rolled down. I felt her lips on my tummy; I heard a tiny smack. Then, she rolled back.

I left one hand on her scalp, and used the other hand to rub the back of her neck.

"Oh, that's nice."

After I finished with her neck, I gently ran my fingers along the underside of her jaw, and then back over her cheeks and around her ears. She purred, and I did it again.

It began to feel sexual. I imagined that she was sucking my cock like this—her head resting on my belly, facing away from me. My hands, gently massaging her head, were guiding her and encouraging her.

I drew my hands off and, embracing the vision of Star sucking me, nestled my fingers into her scalp again. I added the tiniest bit of pressure, nudging her further down my tummy, closer to my cock.

It was growing extremely rapidly. She must not have been looking.

She hummed again, and I imagined her lips around my shaft, swirling her tongue and making that sweet sound.

Her head lay sideways upon me. One of my hands was on the top of her head; the other was on the side. Each of the tips of my fingers rubbed slow, sensual circles, embedded in her lush hair.

I was rock hard now, and I could see the tent on the other side of her head, completely blocking her view of the television. Part of me was embarrassed, another part of me didn't give a shit. The dream was too good, and I didn't want it to end.

Keep your eyes closed, Star. Please!

Star adjusted herself the tiniest amount, and I froze.

She uttered, "Are you going to ask me about J and J, now that I said you can?"

Were her eyes still closed? I replied, "Do you want me to?"

She was silent for a beat, and then she said, "No."

"Then I won't."

I continued rubbing. Fuck it, I thought, maybe she'll fall asleep, spare me the explaining and let me keep this incredibly sexy moment in my memory.

Star whispered, "I love you."

And then her fingers lifted the waistband of my shorts up and over my erection. And then her hand grasped the very bottom of my shaft and bent it down, towards her face. I saw the tip fall from my view, blocked by the back of Star's head.

I felt her warm breath against the tip, and I waited in disbelief and a peak of anticipation that I had never known before.

My fingers were utterly still on her head. My heart raced.

Then, Star's head slid down my tummy, and I felt her lips close around the head, and I felt her tongue gently bathe it in warm saliva.

I groaned and whispered, "Oh, fucking shit, that's amazing."

It was like a total eclipse, that moment. Everything was different and new, simultaneously. Imagination met reality, and reality won. I wanted my cock in a woman's mouth, always.

Star hadn't moved to take more of me in, but I felt like more of me was inside her mouth. Could a cock, already hard as iron, grow even more?

I nestled my fingers in her hair, and began to both massage her and gently urge her on. She remained latched to the tip. Her head hadn't moved, but her tongue continued to caress.

I heard a tiny smack and felt her lips release the head. Her head craned forward and I listened to Star take a gulp of air, and then her lips cinched deeper on the shaft. Slowly, they drew up it, and just as slowly, down. Up and down.

I gasped and let out a breath, feeling my stomach clench as if lightly tickled. My ass flexed when she went down. The sensation was crushing in its power. I belonged to Star, completely.

I pinched my eyes shut and grunted, "Fuck, Star, it's too fucking good."

Still, her lips rode the shaft, and I watched the back of her head come and go. Every time she went down was like a step up—to a new height of pleasure, ever closer to cumming. Soon, my heart felt like it was pumping fire, not blood.

"Please, Star. Oh, shit. Please."

The muscles of my stomach fired, and my head rose from the floor. My cock was contracting rapidly, and I began to fill Star's mouth. That she didn't pull away, that she actually let me cum inside her mouth, was like some incredible gift from her, and it made my first blowjob absolutely perfect.

I grunted and Star moaned as my cock throbbed between her lips. It pulsed and more fired into her. She moaned again. And again. Shortly, my cock convulsed one last time, and Star uttered one long, unbroken, high-pitched moan. Fuck, it was sexy.

I let out the breath I had been holding. I softly ran my fingers through Star's hair, caressing it. Her lips continued to hold tip of my cock, and I felt and heard her throat swallow.

"Thank you, Star," I gasped. "Oh, shit, that was amazing."

She didn't respond; she just laid there on my tummy, letting me pet her and clutching my penis with her lips.

Her hand released the base of the shaft and cupped my balls, lifting them and then feeling each with her fingers. I felt her mouth open, but she didn't pull off. She just laid there, mouth open, breathing. I felt the air sweep up and down my cock with each breath. After several seconds, she closed her mouth around it. She sucked it briefly, and then just held the tip in her soft lips. Her hand never stopped gently massaging my balls.

"Oh, shit, that feels good," I told her.

My dick was softening, but not completely. Star's lips kept me in a semi-full state. I wanted to ask her a question, but I didn't want her to stop. I was too perfectly comfortable.

I watched the movie.

Once, Star adjusted her head and neck, and I thought she had finally decided to bring an end to the pleasure she'd been giving me, but I was wrong. She let go of my balls, grabbed the shaft, and then tilted her head back. Now, she was watching the movie, too, and the head of my cock was still inside her mouth. Her hand let go of the shaft and resumed the slow, tender testicle massage.

I was torn between wanting to talk and wanting to relax and enjoy Star's post-orgasm gift. I decided to say something. "Seeing you and Esther together, I was so conflicted," I said.

Star hesitated for a moment, and then continued in her work.

I said, "I was turned on by the two of you together, no doubt about it. It was unbelievably sexy, but I also realized that for the first time in my life, I was no good at something physical. I sucked at sex with Esther, and it made me so jealous and angry."

Star sucked on my dick for a few seconds, and then relaxed her lips back into a kiss. Her hand began to slowly grab and tug on my balls, gently pulling them down, stretching the scrotum and then releasing them. It would have really hurt if she'd been even the slightest bit more aggressive. As it was, it felt really good.

"Mostly, I was mad at myself. I hated being incompetent. Even worse was the idea that I had been hurting Esther. Really, Star, the only thing I care about is making Esther happy. That, and having her think well of me."

I wasn't limp, but I was far from hard in Star's mouth and softening. Talking about my own failures probably didn't help matters. Star, sensing the change, began to take more of it into her mouth. Her lips gathered and collected more and more.

"I want to learn how to give Esther the kind of satisfaction that you gave her. I want her to kiss me after I fuck her and tell me that I'm the best. I want her to want me. I want her to want my cock...to love it, you know? If she loves my cock, then I know she loves all of me. I want her to scream for joy for me, like she did for you. Oh...oh, shit, Star."

Still tugging my balls, Star's lips were wrapped around the root of my cock. It felt really, really good. She wasn't watching the movie anymore; her head had turned down towards my body. My whole cock, I thought, is in Star's mouth, and the idea thrilled me. Star sucked hard. I felt the shaft stretch from the base. The tip was near the back of her throat, and Star swallowed at it. Her throat pinched it and tugged it, and then it was released.

"Fuck," I whispered.

My cock was growing again. I heard Star giggle into the shaft. She let go of my balls, turned, pushed herself up, and moved between my legs. She looked at me, and her eyes were happy.

I shook my head and whispered, "Again? Are you kidding me?"

She shook her head, and then looked down, concentrating, it seemed, on what was happening in her mouth.

I watched the base of my cock reappear. I watched as more and more of the shaft came into view, slipping from the grasp of Star's lips. She whimpered. In the end, she had less than half of the tower in her mouth. She whimpered again, disappointed at how little she'd been left with, I guessed.

I asked, "Can you get more?"

She tried. She opened her mouth and stretched her lips. I felt the tip push up against the back of her throat. Her lips clamped down on the shaft. She'd gained, maybe, an inch.

"Fuck, that's good." I said, "More?"

She took a few deep breaths, and then she opened her mouth again. The pressure I felt on the back of her throat was stronger, and she stopped, gaped her mouth open and coughed twice.

"Stop," I said, "Don't...don't hurt yourself, Star. I like it like this."

She nodded and slurped, wiping her mouth; her coughs had unleashed a torrent of thick saliva. My cock felt like it was covered in warm syrup. Then, once she took me back inside her lips, she began to slowly bob and twist on my cock, up and down, like one of those twenty-five cent horsey rides they used to have in front of the grocery store when we were kids.

Throughout, I felt Star's tongue pushing and dragging against the underside of my cock. It was perfect. I didn't want or need her to do anything else. What she was doing would easily take me to the end.

"You're killing me, Star. Shit."

I reached down and ran my fingers through her hair, from her forehead to the back, and then I held her there with both hands. I didn't exert any force; I just liked the feel on her head in my hands while she gave me the blowjob. She hummed a tiny little note of pleasure for me. I liked it.

She must have known I did, because she did it again. She slowed her pace, and every time she went down, she hummed.

It was the sound women make when they're eating a warm fudge brownie, I thought, and it's that perfect balance of gooey and firm. My body was racing to a climax. That sound—I didn't know if it was real or not, but I liked it; I liked that Star seemed as if the blowjob was giving her as much pleasure as me.

"You're fucking killing me, Star," I urgently hissed.

Suddenly, I was holding her head firmly place, several inches down on my cock. Star was moaning, and my cock was surging in her mouth, pulsing and spilling between her lips. I grunted, holding my breath and feeling like my entire body was cumming. From my toes to my fingers to my brain, my whole body was supercharged and pushing the climax to my core and out through the head of my cock. Star's waiting mouth collected it.

I released her head when it ended and felt myself go utterly lifeless, all except for my lungs. They pumped air.

Star, finally, let my cock free. It collapsed onto my tummy. She looked at me and smiled, and then she scooted up and laid beside me. I pulled half of the pillow out from behind my head, offering it to her. She took it, and we were head to head.

"I love blowjobs," I said.

Star laughed.

"Two of them are even better," I added.

She turned to me, smiling and laughing. She said, "I forgot how much fun those can be."

"You didn't mind doing it?"

"No, dumbass, I liked doing it."

"And the cum?"

"Well..." she said, and when she stopped there, I started laughing.

We laid there, laughing together. When it began to die out, I asked, "Did you mean what you told Esther about maybe not being a lesbian?"

"Dumbass!" she whispered, "Didn't I just give you some pretty solid evidence?"

"Yeah," I said.

Star was silent for a moment, strangely so, and then she said, "You should see what sucking cock does to my pussy."

"What do you mean?"

"How wet I am right now."

"Really?"

She sat up. "Here look," she said, and then she threw her leg over my chest. She backed her ass towards me and bent forward. I was looking at her crotch. It was dark, but nothing seemed to be there. Fuck, it was a beautiful ass. I put my hands on it, craning my neck forward to see her wetness.

She looked back at me, "It's like what happens when I swallow cum."

I peered over at her, "What do you mean? What happens to you?" I turned back, scrutinizing her crotch two inches from my nose.

She whispered, "I get cum farts."

"No!" I hissed and shoved, but it was too late. She farted in my face.