Esther and Star Ch. 03

I slid my hands under her hips and lifted. Her ass bent up; her tummy remained against the mattress. Star was presenting her ass to me, arching it at my cock. I gasped at what I saw. My mind exploded with lust.

I grabbed my cock with one hand. With the other, I grasped her thigh, just under her ass, and squeezed. Her bare little pussy appeared, and I lowered my dick towards it.

"Stop," she muttered.

"I don't want to," I said, and the head of my cock pressed against her.

"Stop. I'll take care of you."

"I don't want a blowjob right now." I pushed, and the tip began to slip inside her.

"Stop. Now."

I did.

"I'm not going to give you a blowjob," she said, soothingly. My cock slipped out of her when she rose up to on her knees. She scooted back, and the shaft rode up her back.

She twisted her back and, though her body faced forward, she looked up at me. "Trust me," she said. I felt her fingers wrap around my erection, and she faced forward.

Star angled my cock down, wiggling it between the cheeks of her ass. The tip was snug inside, lodged just above her anus.

"Uh, Star?"

"Leave it right there," she whispered.

She let go of my cock, and then the muscles of her ass suddenly gripped the head of my cock with incredible strength.

"Oh, damn," I uttered.

She pitched forward, resting her chest on the bed. Then, she reached between her legs and, taking hold of my cock, she began massaging and stroking it.

I felt her ass relax, and then suddenly flex again, clutching the plum head of it between those two incredibly feminine and curvy cheeks.

To any observer, the first thought would be that we were fucking doggy style. Upon second glance, the same observer would have decided I was fucking her ass. Yes, my dick was in her butt, though not inside it. I had no idea what to call this sex position.

She continued to contract and relax the muscles of her ass on the tip. All the while, her strong little fingers stroked, coaxed, and massaged my cock.

"Look at me," I grunted.

She twisted around, letting go of the shaft, and I kissed her lips. She opened her mouth and let me lick her tongue. I reached around her body and grasped her tits.

The tip of my cock had ridden down a little, and when I felt it pressing against Star's butthole, hot blood pumped through me. I grunted into Star's mouth and squeezed her breasts into my fingers.

She broke the kiss and grabbed my cock, stroking even faster. Her ass flexed and held there. I groaned, deep and long, and then I felt my cum squirt into the tight space. It lubricated our connection, but Star held me in place as more and more semen coated her asshole.

Suddenly, she let me go and fell to her stomach. I watched the final shots land on her ass and the last dribble seep out from the tip. I grabbed my cock and wiped it on her ass, and then I sat back on my heels.

Star was belly-down and spread wide. I gazed at the perfection of her butt with streaks and globs of cum covering her cheeks and asshole. I watched a small pool slip down toward her little pussy until she rolled over, sat up, and asked, "How was that, Hatrick?"

I shook my head in wonder, and then I collapsed on the bed, grabbing a pillow and shoving it under my head.

She laughed and laid beside me.

"When's your train?"

She peered over my head at the clock on my nightstand. "I should go in an hour or so."

"What's going on in New York?"

"Just work—some meetings with our ad reps."

I nodded. "When will you be back?"

"Thursday, but I'm hoping Wednesday night."

"Esther know?"

She nodded.

***

Star left that night before Esther got home. We ate separately. Later, I knocked on the door to Star's room.

"Come in."

I did.

Esther was reading in bed.

"I need to update your Mom," I said. "It's been more than two weeks, and I'm feeling guilty. Can you help me, like before?"

Strangely, I was the only resource for Esther's family to receive news on her. Since she was disfellowshipped, they could not talk to her or read anything written to them by her. But, I wasn't disfellowshipped; I wasn't even a member. They wanted me to send them emails.

Esther's father didn't care for me at all. So, I sent the emails to Esther's mother, Astrid. What Esther and I had done in the past is I'd have Esther sit beside me and tell me what to write, and I'd type it up and send it. When her Mom responded, I'd just let Esther read it privately.

Esther said, "Just write it for me, and I'll read it before you send it, okay?"

I drew my head back, surprised, and said, "You're not going to help me write a note to your family?"

"Please," she almost yelled, "I can't."

I grabbed our laptop, took it to my room and typed. Not particularly liking to write, it took a while.

Dear Astrid,

I'm sorry I haven't written sooner. Things have been a little bit crazy here. I'm going to be blunt. Just a warning.

Esther and I separated. Not formally, though. A few weeks back, she read a book that really opened her eyes. She's pretty upset at me for being her husband and wanting to have sex with her. (I admit I was doing a really crummy job at sex, but I'm trying to learn and do better.) So, we are no longer sleeping in the same bed.

There are a bunch of other changes, as well. Esther got a job running the mailroom at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute on weekends. She seems happy to be working and contributing, and I'm sure she does a great job. I think she may have drunk some alcohol. She has moved into my sister's room, and best I can tell, they are having a lot of lesbian sex together.

Just so you know, I always thought you were fantastically beautiful. You may be twenty-five years older than me, but you've still got it, Astrid. I always felt a little pleasant jolt throughout my body whenever you touched me. I mention this because I don't think I'll ever see you again, and I say it as a compliment, and I'm being brutally honest. I thought it might mean something to you to know that you still make young men dream.

In case you're worried, I still love Esther and hope we can patch things up and move forward. I'd love to be able to fill your arms with a bunch of grandchildren someday. I very much want Esther to be happy. She won't like this note, but she doesn't talk to me anymore. I really don't know what she wants. So, I figured I'd be honest.

I hope you're doing well, along with the rest of the family. We think of you all the time and miss you very much.

One quick final question, are Witnesses really prohibited from doing it doggy style? Do try and answer that one. I'm very interested.

I signed it with love and called Esther into the room.

She sat at the small desk and read while I sat on the bed, watching her. I saw when she realized this letter wasn't full of the old routine bullshit—her body froze for a moment. I watched her back rise and fall with increasing panic as she continued reading. I heard her suck in a breath.

I wasn't smiling or taking any pleasure in her reaction. She asked me to type the note, and I thought I'd write one that told the fucking truth. I was being a dick, I know, but it was easier for me to do it this way than to tell her she was being a stupid bitch.

I didn't expect what happened next.

Esther flew out of the chair at me, slapping me in the face. Once. Twice. Three times. Four. Her eyes were red with rage and she cursed me, called me a "bastard." Five times she hit me. She was connecting on my cheekbone, and it stung. Six times. She told me she hated me. Seven.

She didn't seem to like it that I just let her slap away at my face.

I didn't mean to let her. If someone had told me she was going to hit me—and I had believed them—I probably would have blocked her right away, and then pinned her arms to her sides and marched her ass out of the room. I just didn't expect it. I was so stunned by Esther being violent that I just took it. I wasn't angry; I was in awe.

A thought occurred to me at some point, and after she hit me the eighth time, I said, "Esther!" She stopped with her hand cocked for a ninth strike. Very slowly, I turned my face, presenting my other cheek for her to swat. "Here's the other one for you," I said.

She lowered her hand and stormed out of the room. I heard her scream and cry from Star's room.

I slid a note under her door: "Haven't sent it, yet. Feel free to revise." I signed it with love and left to get a beer.

At the Cask & Flagon Bar about 15 minutes later, I took a long drink of my Bud Light and then held it on my left cheek for a while.

I had two beers. During the second one, I knew I needed to go back and check on her. My own shock and anger had briefly hidden the fact that Esther had no-shit freaked out. This wasn't some pathetic tizzy. Something in her broke.

It was just after ten when I walked into the apartment. I knocked on Star's door.

Nothing.

I knocked harder.

Nothing. Shit.

I opened the door.

Esther was sitting on the floor, her back against the foot of Star's bed. I came in and sat down on the floor across from her, under Star's taped-together rainbow unicorn poster.

"You okay?" I asked.

She looked up at me. "I sent the email."

I nodded.

"I didn't change anything."

My eyes popped. "Shut the fuck up. No you didn't." My words came out fast, full of disbelief.

She slowly nodded.

A big chuckle just exploded from me, and I stared at her, astonished, with my jaw hanging open. Esther smiled. I laughed, and then she started laughing, too.

Esther's joy seemed a little over the top—like it was wracked with nerves. It ended abruptly, and an uncomfortable silence remained.

She finally said, "I'm sorry I hit you."

"I'm sorry I was a dick about it."

"So, you think my Mom's hot?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Not as hot as you, but yes."

"She was always very touchy with you. It really annoyed me. I saw her put her hand on your...your ass once—when you were hugging."

Esther was trying out curse words. "Ass"—I'd never once heard her say it, and it didn't sound natural for her, yet.

I nodded, remembering. "She didn't grab me or anything, but I remember her hand sort of slipping down and lingering there."

She nodded. "I miss her. I miss them all."

Esther's parents had two children, both girls. Esther was the youngest. "I didn't understand, Esther—when you got disfellowshipped. I screwed up. I didn't see it for what was. I didn't think of it as if you were losing your family. I guess...I guess I figured no parent would ever just ignore their kid, you know? I'm sorry I didn't get it."

She sniffed, nodding again.

"If I divorced you," I began. She looked up at me. "If I did that, could you go back to them?"

She looked at me sadly. "The church would have to approve it, first. They'd convene the elders and decide. If I could show that you had been unfaithful—if that was the basis for the divorce—then yes, I think I could."

I opened my mouth to respond, but Esther stopped me with a raised finger.

"But, I can't go back. I can never go back to that life. That's why I sent your email. Everything I know now...I could never be a part of that again, even if it were only to fake it so that I could see my family."

I ran the fingers of both of my hands through my hair. "I'm so fucking sorry, Esther."

She wiped her eyes and sniffed again. "It isn't your fault. I made these choices. All you ever did was give me the chance to find out for myself—the book."

"If you won't go back to that life, then could you at least visit them? Talk to them on the phone? Be their daughter and sister again?"

"Maybe," she said, "The church would decide." She looked up from the floor to me. "You would do that?"

I nodded.

"But I already sent the email."

"It's from my account. I'll say that I was lying—that I wrote it in anger to hurt you."

She accepted this silently.

"Esther?" When she looked at me again, I asked, "What's it like to go through? Becoming a new person, I mean."

She pinched her eyebrows, curious at my question, it seemed.

I tried to clarify. "That's what it seems like to me—like you're a new person. If we'd never dated and married, and I met you out on the street, I would never guess it was you. I'd think it was someone who looked a lot like you."

She smiled.

I asked again, "So, what's it like?"

She sighed, looking up at the ceiling, before answering me. "Terrifying and lonely, but exciting," she said. "In some ways, it's like I'm new. In other ways, it's like the world is new—like there were some things that were always in the shadows, and now they're in the light."

"Do you feel like you're in control?"

"No," she said, "Yes. I don't know. Sometimes?" She closed her eyes and leaned back against the bed. "It is easy for me to lose control—like earlier tonight."

"It must be kind of an amazing journey you're on," I said. "Like—I don't know—like the Joads."

"What?"

"My book—the book I'm reading—you're like the Joads."

She opened her eyes and looked at me. "You're reading Grapes of Wrath?"

I nodded.

"The actual book? Really?"

"Yep."

This seemed to amaze her. She shook her head, and then leaned back again, closing her eyes. "So, how am I like the Joads?"

I wanted to fuck her right then. She looked beautifully sad, and I wanted, just at that moment, to kiss her and touch her and fuck her until she screamed with joy. "Well, they lived in Oklahoma for generations, right? Never knew anything else. Now they're on the road, heading to California. Some parts of their old lives have died away. Everything else is new."

"I had forgotten that book," she said.

"Esther?"

She sighed, "Yeah?"

"How can I get you to stop hating my guts?"

"I don't hate you. I just...I needed to take it out on someone."

"Why me?"

"Honestly?"

I nodded.

"I guess a part of me knew you would take it and still care about me. Do you hate me for that?"

I shook my head. I did hate her a little, but how could I, just then, with how sexy she looked.

"I deserve it," she said, "You should."

My brain was already unhooking her bra and rubbing her pussy. I let it romp and imagine as I silently took in her body and face.

Maybe she felt it. Her head came up and she said, "What are you thinking bout right now?"

"How I'd like to...to ask you on a date."

"What? Really?"

I nodded. "You're not the only one changing around here. It might be fun to go out together, eat at a nice place. Hear about your adventures."

She smiled. "When?"

"Tomorrow?"

"You work nights."

"How about between my shifts, say around two o'clock? We can do a late lunch date."

She shrugged. "Okay."

"I'll pick somewhere nice. We'll dress up."

Esther seemed so happily surprised, so fresh and full of wonder, I thought I might be able to kiss her, then and there. Who knows, I thought, where the kiss might lead?

But, I shoved those desires down. I wasn't about to push it too far, too fast.

***

I got home after my first shift at 12:45, showered, and changed into slacks and a light dress shirt. I had made reservations for the two of us at the Capital Grille, a decent steak place not far up from us on the Green Line.

Esther came out wearing a light blue summer dress with thin straps and lace all over. She'd parted her hair in the middle, and it poured down over her chest in big curls.

"Wow, Esther. You look amazing."

She smiled.

"Ready?"

She nodded and we left for the Longwood T stop.

We had the run of the place. There were, maybe, ten other people in there. We both ordered steaks with garlic mashed potatoes. I got the ribeye; she got the petite filet.

While we waited, I asked her about cussing.

"What?" she responded.

"I guess I've always found that some words are just right for certain moments. There's nothing quite like saying 'shit' when you really need to, you know? So, are you finding that you like using them?"

"I'm just getting used to it," she said.

"Have you said 'fuck,' yet?"

"Yes."

"Will you say it for me?"

She smiled, shaking her head, "Why?"

"It'll be cool to hear you say it," I said, laughing.

"We're in a restaurant," she argued.

"Nobody's here. Come on, let's hear it."

She laughed. "Okay...fuck."

I laughed. "That was so awesome, Esther!"

She chuckled a bit, too, seeing my laughter.

"Another one! Say 'son of a fucking bitch.'" I had a huge grin on my face.

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?"

I nodded. "Come on. Please?"

She shook her head, and then closed her eyes. "Son of a fucking bitch."

I smiled. "One more?"

"What do you want me to say?" she asked, taking a sip of water.

"Fucking cock-sucking monkey ass cunt-whore shit." I said, and she blew her sip of water all over me and the table. She didn't even care, she was laughing so hard. Her hand slapped the table, and then it covered her heart. Fuck, it was great making her laugh.

I wiped my face and a few other spots. It took a minute, but Esther eventually settled down. "I'm sorry about that."

"Forget it. When was the last time you laughed that hard?"

She giggled again, and then she thought about it. Finally, she answered, "Before we moved here. Probably back in our old apartment."

"You mean that old fucking cock-sucking monkey ass cunt-whore shit place we used to live in?"

Esther lost it again.

After we ate, I asked her about Star.

"She's been great. I love your sister."

"Me, too. She's such a contradiction, but it suits her."

"How do you mean?" Esther asked.

"Well, on the one hand, she's so girly, you know? On the other, she's just raunchy."

"Raunchy? Really?"

"She hasn't fucked with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, my gosh, Esther. Star is...let me tell you some Star stories," I said, and I told her a bunch. Most of them were the ones about Star making me look like an idiot. I blew Esther's mind. It was a side of Star she'd never seen before.

And in telling her those stories, I got to see another side of Esther I'd never seen before. She was laughing about farts and boogers and tampons and piss bags and fake turds and all the other bullshit that Star had inflicted upon me over the years. I'd never told Esther these stories before because, hell, I knew she'd find them disgusting. Here she was laughing at them...hard. It was a wonder.

A few minutes later, I paid the bill, and we left together.

We were standing on top of the steps leading down to the outbound subway line when I said, "You may not have noticed, but I have: all the guys have been looking at you, everywhere we've gone. You really are beautiful, Esther. I was a lucky man today."

She seemed to not quite know how to take my compliment, but I spoke again before she could respond.

"I'm sorry, but I have to leave you here and get back to work. I've had fun. Thank you for coming."

"You're going back?"

"I need to get to South Station soon."

"Okay."

I took her hand and drew her toward me. I kissed her on the cheek. I was quick, so she didn't get the chance to stop me if she'd wanted to. "See you tonight," I said, and then I turned and walked over to the inbound stairwell and left.

Out of sight, I pumped my fist and said, "Fuck, yeah, Star!"

***

Note: Thanks to readers. More will follow. -FS