All Comments on 'Esther and Star Ch. 04'

Not going to lie, Star pissed me off in this one. How in the hell, is she going to screen her brother from talking to his wife? And before he can even attempt to be there for her when she gets possibly the worst news a person can get, she steals his moment? And then Esther, she decides to take Star instead of her husband? Really? Wow...Wow...Wow

And then after he hands Esther the divorce papers and begins to take steps into once more help himself, the woman he's interested in gets shot?...

...

...

...Wow

I honestly don't have anything positive to say and since I don't want to be one of those people who leaves insults in a comment section when I don't like a part in the story, I'll keep my opinion to myself on that..

Oh, if you are going in the direction I think you are then can you please at least even the odds? I mean, look at it however you want, but Patrick has just been eating Ls since the beginning. The only positive he has is he's getting smarter, while Esther gets a new lover and basically new life, while Star gets whatever the hell she wants with little recourse. She gets to experiment with guys again via her brother, she gets a constant lover/toy in the form of Esther. She gets a complete lackey in her brother, who despite enduring her abuse-lets just call it what it is-, keeps following her around like a dog. And she gets to hold onto the reason for why her brother was almost incarcerated.

That last part, I understand the reason behind if it is like we've been led to believe. I know someone who went through it unfortunately.

I'll be honest, I can't see a happy ending for Patrick in this. At least, not with them. He should just file the divorce papers under 'Irreconcilable Differences' and go about his merry way.

PS, don't know if you are doing it on purpose or not but you are heavily making Star an unsympathetic character. Her past with J and J, not being a good enough reason for her to be how she is. I mean, if you saw a person bullying someone and later found out that the bully is getting beat themselves at home, would you feel bad for them? Yes, would you excuse their behavior? No...If you are going to make Star likeable, start tossing her some bad luck. It won't excuse her behavior to Patrick but at least we'll know karma exists in the story.

Well,

As I read down page two, it was better? Patrick, made the call and executed. Good for him. I really hope he doesn't take his (soon to be ex)-wife back. She explicitly made her call in whom to seek comfort from, and it wasn't him. I hope he's able to find help (therapy) and comfort elsewhere.

Star? May she screw it up with Esther, and live a long, unhappy, lonely life knowing that she was Patrick's abuser.

And then I get to the shooting. Ok. NOPE. It's obvious that his is a way of getting Esther to realize that for all of the attraction to Star, she loves her (soon to be ex)-husband, and for Star to realize that she nearly lost her brother.

Honestly? Both of the 'crazy twists and turns' feel cheep and contrived. It's actually a bit frustrating because for the most part, the author manages to have... flawed (in Star's case downright evil) but plausible characters and mostly reasonable plot progression. I can't help but wonder if the broadly negative reaction - of the 24 comments that have been posted on the first three chapters as I type this <counts> not less than half (12), and as high as three fourths (18) {sue me, I like math} can be construed as either being not-positive toward the actions of either Star (abusive, messed up), Esther (messed up, unable to find her way, and now [this is me] under the thumb of a known abuser), or Patrick (abuse victim - how much of his unwillingness to listen to others was caused by the years of abuse at the hands of a sister who 'loved' him?). This doesn't count any complaints about the initial cliffhanger.

I love your writing. The random humor, the detailed erotic scenes, and the overall story being interesting. I’m anxious for the next part. Good work.

Like the relationship between Estelle and Hatrick :)

I'm enjoying the series so far interested to know whether Esther always had suppressed lesbian tendencies and if that why she was so not into hetero sex.

One thing. Just been through the comments to the previous chapters and was quite surprised at the reactions to the chapter/story.

This is a fantasy story, enjoy it for what it is.

Dude keep writing.

Star could be one of the biggest piece of shit characters I have read on here. I hope she gets what is coming to her. After everything she has pulled she deserves nothing but painful loneliness and heartbreak. She is calling Esther her girlfriend now? He needs leave that apartment and forget both of them, end up with a woman 10 times what Star and Esther are, and then proceed to rub it in their faces.

Not sure if there's someone from your real-life who the main character is analogous to but it seems like you must really hate that person. Can't see any other reason for someone to write a multi-part story about someone getting crapped on left and right (who is also a somewhat decent person) if you didn't hate this person.

But maybe we're wrong because the story may not even really be about him. After all, it's named after the 2 characters who crap on him the most.

I have been reading this from the beginning. I keep hoping Star gets her just deserts in all this. I believe she hates men enough to get between her brother and his wife like she is doing. In this chapter she starts to screen her brother from talking to his wife with something very important. I then get to the part where he gives his wife divorce papers which I believe is the right thing to do but he also needs to just pack up and go. Patrick needs to man up and leave them, there is nothing there for him now, even now at the end of this chapter with him being shot I don't think nothing will come of it.

that you can easily turn even a story this dark around, and I didn't want to vote based on the depression that reading the incomplete story created in me. It seemed unfair. So no 1stars from me.

I'm still holding to that, but I really hope you plan to bring this to a much happier conclusion, because otherwise this will be one of the most depressing yet well-written stories on this site. And that would suck. You're very good, and you've very successfully made me feel for the main character; also made me feel a great deal of anger towards Star and Esther. I hope they end up making amends with Patrick for cuckolding and mistreating him, and that there can be healing.

-Anubelore :-)

I am now pulled into this story ... it seems like the main character is finally ready to get his act together and is getting ready to drop his toxic sister and absolutely swayed ex and ride off into the sunset... at least that’s what I’m hoping for. You got me on the edge ready for the next chapter. Superb writing...

Okay, I'm gonna take another shot at this review thing. Okay, so there are a few things in this chapter that irritated me but not because of your writing. In fact, the fact that I can even get upset at the treatment of a character says a lot about your skill as a writer.

Having said that, I hope that with this twist that Patrick's luck will begin to change as I hope this will bring about the needed insight into his life that most receive after a near death experience.

Short, sweet, with an unexpected twist. Simply excellent!

after reading (raised eyebrows, headshaking and frowning) 1-6:

nope no not gonna work

With this "thing" as a sister and this "woman".... Hard Reset divorce and also getting rid of sister dear (both are not working in their intended roles IMO)

MC isn't written as being a wimp or hateful towards the two women.... but he's also not described as someone who stands up for himself or is really close to his sister or wivey (behaviour, choice of words, thoughts)... he's more or less a zero line with scene-depending pings and doesn't advance the story in the slightest.

It makes the story annoying at best and head-shaking at worst.

the idea wasn't bad, but the execution...

It seems that the "gods" or the author really had it in for this poor guy. Damn.

Sorry, but after reading all the chapters, I think the author did a lousy job!

Why? Example:

-I guess he didn't want the sister to seem like a house-wrecking, stupid cunt.

Since she is the catalyst she actually has an important function but, also referring to other comments, she is instead the main problem of the story and makes it partly non-functional.... and hugely so!

-I also think that the MC should not appear completely mentally unstable (swings between murderous rage (rightly so imo) <> suicidally sad, lovey<>hate... moodswings).

-wife seems rather unfit for life and naive?! - partly she came across in the story as if she was only there for the siblings to have another sexual partner and less like a character (like an onahole with lines), sorry?

-and some other problems but by far the worst is the sis.