Eta Carinae Pt. 12

"Wondering what the point is to this diatribe? The bonobos are on the endangered species list and the chimps are thriving! If I have my druthers, I'd druther be a chimp!" He finished with a broad smile.

Elaine squinted. "So what about societies that are matriarchal, such as the Iroquois? The head of each clan is an elder woman?" She queried. She does like debate.

"If you look closely, the clan mother has a war captain she relies on. My position is pro-existence and anti-extinction! I don't care who the alpha is, just as long as they can get the job done! If not, the leader is dead! Long live the leader! Your ass is replaced!" He said with that arrogant, smug grin that makes him so hard to dislike!

"Well played!" I said, tipping my beer. Everyone laughed.

"So, you don't think there's room for improvement, maybe a better way of doing things? Or is this carved in stone?" Elaine countered.

"There's always a way to do things better! It's a matter of how changes are introduced. Experience has taught me small adjustments and tests. Repeat that cycle until you have something that works. It's not rocket surgery!"

"OK, what then, separates us from the primates?" Paige shot back.

"I think it's choice. Animals operate on programmed instincts; algorithms. Because of the highly polished executive Man has choices. The human can consciously choose to off himself!"

I could tell that Elaine wanted to argue a point with him, but she was mulling his ideas. I'm sure this isn't finished.

We talked for a bit longer and got back out on the water. Back at camp, Elaine and I chose to read, with Mac and Paige went out on a hike. They returned half an hour later and decided to take the boat out. We thought this might be a good time for a nap. We crawled under the sleeping back comforter.

"I think this buffalo hide rocks!" I whispered.

"It makes me feel naughty! I think we should always pronounce naughty with an English accent. Sounds more authentic." She said with a smile.

"Oh, do tell! Does it make you feel randy to say it, love? I said ala Austin Powers, rolling into her neck. She giggled for a second and our mouths found each other. Our kisses tend to be long and passionate.

"What did you think of the Chimp-Bonobo thesis?" I said softly.

She rolled her eyes. "It's funny. He starts with one of his various theories and a first blush, it sounds authoritarian and misogynistic. After thinking about it, much of his thinking makes sense." She answered.

"Stuff to think about. He does have that irritating quality; making sense!" I said, thinking out loud.

"So, you're not totally on board with ideas?" She asked.

"Well, you know me. I'm slow to assimilate. His ethos is his and I'm still fitting pieces. With that being said, he's legit! Fun to hang with, and an excellent fisherman! He really is a master in small boat handling!" I said laying on my back.

"Nothing wrong with that! You two do complement each other. He's sort of......"

"Impulsive, spontaneous, or hasty?" I observed. She huffed a laugh.

"Yeah, pretty much. But he's hard not to like." She said thoughtfully.

I laughed. She's right. She sat up and opened the screen and tied it back. It was a gorgeous mid-afternoon without any bugs. I looked toward the lake and saw the boat. Could barely see them in the bow of the boat. She pushed me down and my shorts were off! I rolled over on my back and she had my legs pushed open in an instant. I was in the process of one of those blood-loss hard-ons! She leaned over me and began to swirl her tongue around the tip of my cock. I gave up on muscle control and melted into the buffalo fur. Her mouth opened and my dick disappeared. I let out a sharp wince. My penis was buried balls deep into her mouth, and she was turning her head to accommodate more. As badly as I wanted to take control, I couldn't! I was going to cum when she wanted! Turnaround is fair play.....especially with sex!

We separated and rejoined in a 69. My face ended up where it always does, with my tongue strained at its base. I've been compelled to see if I can touch her cervix with my tongue. I know it's not possible, but I can keep trying! The fruits of my labor emerged as little whimpers. Followed by long, gutter groans. Her pussy was on overflow as usual and warm to the touch. I pressed her thighs open as far as I could and swirled my tongue around her clit. She responded with one of the longest and most intense orgasms ever! It was one of those clenched teeth, pull an ear off orgasms! I rolled her over and climbed on top. I let fly in about 10 seconds! My hips found a cyclic rhythm that brought me to climax 3 times! That last load felt like my testicle ejected! I crumpled on top of her, both of us a mess of sweat, passion, and satisfaction. I curled up in a spoon with her. Her hair was stuck to her cheek and forehead. I brushed it aside. There's something about your partner looking freshly loved! I'm certain I must look like a glazed cruller myself. I reached over for her cigarette case. I lit one and gave it to her. She rolled over on her back, as did I. It suddenly realized that with the door open, we were in plain view of the boat!

"We were in plain sight of them, did you know that?"

"No. Hadn't really thought about it! You didn't say much either! Preoccupied?" She chided.

"Yeah, I admit it I was thinking about the promised land too!"

"Hah..." She scoffed.

"What if they saw us?" I wondered out loud.

"Knowing Paige, they probably did!" She giggled. I took a drag and handed her the smoke.

"It's kind of a turn on now that I think of it." I thought out loud.

"Oh, do tell!"

"There's something so....risque about it! It's so out of character for me!" I exclaimed.

She lightly touched my nipple with her finger. I winced.

"I loved too! Aren't we a pair?" She laughed. "We're something!"

*****

Solstice Evening

Paige and Mac returned around dinner time. We poured some drinks and sat down with some cheese and crackers. I think we were all aware of the new peeping tom club! What a bunch of pervs! I had a nice star-hop sequence for tonight. The polar alignment was dialed in and the mount had been tracking for a half hour. We had a green salad with some of the salmon from the other night and it hit the spot. After cleaning up, we stoked up the fire and watched the sunset. Mac had his guitar out again and just pickin' a bit and tuning.

"A little pine, mountain air, and fishing, you re-hydrate and buff up!" He said as he turned one of the tuning pegs.

"Yeah, this is the recharge I always need! I love it here, or anywhere out away from people and concrete. I keep thinking about how I could somehow have this and a way to make enough money to live comfortably. I don't think this is one of those have your cake and eat it too deals! I think what I'm asking is fair and doable! Am I wrong? Am I going to pull a yoke, then get a break every 3 months or so? Or, could I work and live in a small community, out in the woods or on the coast?" I said in thought.

"A question I keep asking myself. Where do I want to be?" Mac responded.

"Any ideas?" I asked.

"A few I'm grinding on. I have an idea of what I want to do, but not a detailed picture. I've found my path reveals itself, most of the time!" I nodded with a huh frown. I wish I was that relaxed with life. Mac was finally tuned up and played an intro to something unfamiliar. Paige started singing on cue. She has a beautiful etheral, soprano voice. I didn't know what the song was or what she was singing, it was one of the most angelic pieces I have ever heard!

"My God Paige!" Elaine observed.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Suo Gan. It's a Welsh lullaby." She said sipping her drink.

"That was Welsh? Don't tell me you speak Welsh also!" I exclaimed.

"A few words. I just learned that song because I like it. You should read the lyrics sometime."

"So how long have you been doing this?" Elaine inquired.

"Singing? We've been singing together since before we could walk! Our families sing often. Kind of a 'thing' in our household." Answered Paige.Mac broke out his cigars and I had a Corona Gorda with a darker wrapper. The women begged off. It was a really smooth, rich smoke! I may give up cigarettes, I think cigars are here to stay. Good drink, cigars and friends is a straight flush!

Mac played some Billy Joel, CCR and then into a cover of Ain't No Grave. He had changed some of the lyrics; instead of angels, a company of Marines. A bugler instead of Gabriel. He sang from a deep well, hidden in that bunker he calls his heart. If I had his heart, I'd keep it well protected too! He finished, put his guitar away and pulled Paige in close.

"Maybe you could write a song about us." Elaine said quietly, looking into the campfire.

"I don't know how to play banjo." Mac answered thoughtlessly.

After a couple seconds of pause, we all laughed simultaneous! I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time!

"You know, were talking about my kin!" Elaine mentioned, wiping tears.

"We have a bunch of family from Kentucky and Virginia!"

"Well, that explains a lot!" Paige remarked. Another round of laughter.

"Unfortunately, incest has become synonymous with hillbillies or child molesters!" Paige reflected.

"Don't forget royal families! I saw a Youtube the other day. Cleopatra was voted Miss Inbred of Antiquity. Her family tree was a 'trunk' going back 1500 years!"

"Yeah, that does bring us to the darker side of familial relationships, the fruit of thy labor!" Mac commented, lost in thought. Paige dimmed a bit.

"Can't resolve that ROI?" asked Elaine.

"The risk-reward analysis just doesn't pan. We accepted the fact that we get to have each other and not have the kids. Our side of the MacDonald's is far from dying out!

"What about the 'unknown factor'?" I asked.

"That resolved itself. I was blown out of a bunker when I was in Iraq. The over-pressure from the blast screwed up my swimmer count. I'm shooting squibs, blanks!"

"I can't whine about it, or just accept that it is, what it is! Accept that maybe, this is an opportunity." He said with gravity.

"Accept! You're not a closet stoic, are you?" Elaine said sarcastically.

"Well, I secretly read Marcus Aurelius and Seneca." He hung his head in mock shame.

"That explains a bit." Elaine added.

"What do you mean 'explains a bit'?" He returned.

"Well, like him," She nodded my way. "You're following your own star, if you will. It's good to see. We live in a society that's obsessed with feeling good, a hand out, a level playing field....do I need to go on. Hearing I'm playing the hand I was dealt is........refreshing!"

Mac tipped his glass toward Elaine.

"So, you don't think we can level the playing field?" Paige inquired.

"Sure, to certain degree. You and I both know that there are those who get lucky and those who make their luck. No one is going to hand you anything. You see and opportunity, you take it or someone else will! After Elliot left, I could have either whined about the unfairness of it all or go out to build a life for him and me." She answered with gravity.

Paige smiled. I think there's some part of her that likes to get Elaine wound up on things . The whole feminist movement is one item that rattles her cage. I was really enjoying this!

"OK there Skipper, what other hard and fast rules do you have?" I asked.

"Hang on for a second, now that you've had me over the coals....your turn! What's the bottom line for you?"

I thought for a long couple seconds. "The one thing, the bottom line? My word and family! Ed drilled that in to me for years!" I said, looking Mac in the eye.

"Good answer!" Paige said with a sarcastic 'golf clap'." I gave her the stink eye.

"Yeah, I tend to agree. Lose your honor by breaking your word is one of the most fucked up crosses to bear! Believe me! It should be too! We seem to forget there are consequences for our behaviors!"

"How are you going to integrate your philosophies with society?" Elaine inquired.

"There are only a few items that are part of my ethos that doesn't dovetail with mores of society. One is harming my family or friends, there will be a reckoning. How the tabla is balanced is open. There's a Latin phrase that appears all over in Scotland: Nemo me lacessit impune! Our family lives by it."

"No where...one...impunity." I guessed.

"No one touches me with impunity." Paige injected.

"I like it! Simple, to the point. Very utilitarian!" I said as I pondered. I looked at Elaine. She was smoking a cigarette, sizing up Mac. We are very much alike in being very slow to let people close. Even with the common bond, we still operate with caution.

We sat, drank and talked till 11. We'd probably hit the bite in the morning. It had been a great day!

*****

Day 4

Our last full day started out with the same routine. After breakfast, we broke out one of Mac's MIL grid maps. We decided on one of the existing tracks and packed up. Heading up the track, Mac and Paige took the lead. The trail took us up through white, yellow, lodge pole pines. The other day the pine flowers bloomed. Essentially, these little seed pods let loose their pollen at one time. Everything is dusted yellow! It makes Elaine sneeze sometimes, but I just love the smell! It's a very specific pine smell that I can't describe. It's the smell of the pine woods I guess.

We had been hiking for an hour and a half and took a break. Mac approved of my hiking stick. It was a long piece of Manzanita trunk that I had finished myself. I removed the roughness with heavy sandpaper and finished it with linseed oil. I had wrapped the handle in leather. It was light, strong, and flexible. He'd mentioned the walking stick he made from a yew tree. The route chosen was easy. The soil was that crumbly clay that nothing grows in: except pines! Just a nice stretch the legs walk. We made our way back to camp and ate lunch. Elaine wanted to read, Paige a nap. We said the 'hell with it' and went fishing.

The wind had started to gust a bit and some mid-altitude clouds came in with it. Mac took the helm and we headed back to the dam. We found, what was thought to be salmon, around 50 feet. It was obvious that they were staying there until feeding. Motoring around, and scanning the bottom structure, crappie were found. A regular 'convention' on a stump-covered hump. We were on the fish for about 40 minutes, then the bite turned off. Mac grabbed a couple of beers, laid back, and took in the sun. Mac rummaged around in his knapsack and produced his leather cigar case. He opened it, took out a cigar, and offered me one. I looked at the sky, thinking.

"For Christ's sake dude, live a little!" He let out in exasperation. I took a cigar. He passed me the torched and I lit up.

"How did you form all these personal philosophies that you live by?" I asked, lost in thought.

"Some were handed down, attitudes of a family and it's legacy. People and experience gave help me form my own personal ethos." He said with a sip of beer. "You know what I'm talking about. You've done the same thing! You're one of those souls who is always asking 'Who am I? Where am I going and where do I belong?'." He followed. I smiled.

"Those seem to be eternal questions. Do you have a semblance of where you're going?"

"A few ideas. Don't know many of the specifics, but I do know that all of us are wired in it together!" He replied.

"I have that same feeling, that were joined at the hip, so to speak. I wonder how that happened?"

"Who knows!" he breathed.

We saw a bear out foraging for food. It was nice to see that some things still work.

"If you were to choose a martial art or fighting system, what would you recommend?" I thought out loud.

"I'd have to say Krav Maga. Easy to learn, highly effective, and pragmatic. Very Israeli! Basic 'moves', no 'katas', no working 5 years before being competent! You'd like it. I have a friend who teaches in the City. I'll give you his number."

"I need something more! Violence in the city is off the hook! I worry every day that Elaine has to walk to the Muni stop for the train, then downtown. She has to go to work with pepper spray and a stun gun! That ain't fuckin' right! I know other cities have had problems, but this is off the hook!" I ended with exasperation.

"I know. Start training. Stay the course."

The sun was close to the western hills. Back at camp, Mac and I pulled the boat out and prepped it for the road. One less item in the morning.

Dinner was light. Salmon salad spread was made out of the leftover fish. More items were put into the vehicles, just to get organized. I hate tearing down camp! As usual, we were gathered around the fire. I guess I was lost in thought.

"What's up?" Elaine asked, bumping my leg with hers.

"Just thinking about returning to the 'Cave'."

"Cave?" Paige queried.

"You know of the Cave Allegory?"

"I haven't thought about that in years! Plato's 'Matrix'." Mac commented.

"Unfortunately, the zombies will kill you! Now I know why that Walking Dead TV show is so popular!" I said in frustration.

"Something tells me that changes are in our future." Elaine said in thought. Another one of those cryptic statements of hers.

Paige mentioned her project at the university was finally ending. She wasn't sure if she was moving on or what. Elaine discussed some of what was going on at work. She often just speaks in generalities. She has always be careful about talking about her job, any facet of it. Career and home have always had a wide separator. That being said, and knowing like I do, something is brewing! On that note, it was time for bed.

*****

The End of the Beginning

We were back on the road by 9 the next morning. We stopped at a gyros place outside of Santa Rosa for lunch. Elaine wanted to drive the last leg of the trip. A little sleepy from lunch, I laid my head back and closed my eyes. My thoughts drifted to the events of the weekend. Mac's strange, enigmatic qualities completely contradicts the other hard and fast rules he lives by. As always, I'll play with the puzzle piece, to see how it fits! Dropping my guard is slow, at best. I'm wary of women and 'stiff arm' most men! I've come to realize how deep the 'cut' went with my father. Some part of my soul snapped close when the dickhead bailed out of our lives. I'm pissed at all of it! What it did to us emotionally, mentally, and financially. I'm not certain I know how.

Gary and I just meshed. We were matched as pitcher-catcher in our sophomore year, and we made school history! A number of school records were broken. But, Gary and I had different paths. I've read in numerous books or seen in movies, how a pair of men who maintain friendships for years. My experience has been very few friends and numerous acquaintances. I think I have considerable work to do with beliefs and attitudes! Deep down, I think I need and want a mentor. That being said, I still chafe at the idea of vulnerability. I'm going to trust in my path.

This small holiday with a major disconnect has been a boon for the 'Fellowship'! The general timbre of the group is more of a family. Mac refers to us as a clan. The one thing I know for certain is that Mac is a protector! I'm not talking 'Snorg, the Caveman'! He's that guy who always has his head on a swivel and ready to step-up and a moments notice! He has a number of the same properties as Ed. The common thread is Marines who are men with a solid self-image. However it may have manifested, we all somehow converged in this time and place. For what remains to be seen.