Eve & Lucy Ch. 01: The Audition

Hi!

Thanks for being here! I hope you're well. So, before you start please know that there is an immediate spoiler for my story Love is a Place here. That might not matter to you, and you don't need to have read that one first to understand this one, but, you know, if it was me I'd want to know that kind of thing in advance.

Also, one of the characters in this story appears in The Hardest Step. Again, it's really not important to have read that one first, but if you want a bit of background on Carrie that might be worth reading beforehand (it's very short).

All characters are over 18.

All feedback gratefully received.

Happy reading.

T

Eve and Lucy Chapter 1: the audition

Finally, the bathroom door opens and Louise comes out.

"Enjoy," she grimaces, "they've just started round two!"

I groan as I go in and lock the door behind me.

Yep, she's right. There it is - the buzzing sound coming through the wall, the moans of pleasure.

Samantha and Sarah are shagging. Again. Every bloody morning for the last 15 months or so. Plus most evenings. I mean, they are fucking insatiable! Given that their bedroom shares a ply board wall with the bathroom, any of us wanting a wash between 7 and 9 on a Sunday risks getting the full aural experience.

"Oh Samantha! Oh yes, right there.... Oh my God.... Oh my God... ahhhhhhhhh!"

I swear, Sarah couldn't sound louder if I was in the same room as them. I wonder whether the bathroom tiles actually amplify the sounds that come through?

The buzzing goes higher in pitch. Here it comes. Samantha is a creature of habit in all ways.

"Oh God, Samantha.... MMMMMMM .... Oh, yes, Samantha.... I love yooooooouuuuuuuuuu..."

Poster girls for the glories of sapphic sex, the pair of them. Damn Louise: I'd been really hoping to get in early and get done beforehand. I wanted a clear mind for the audition, not a screaming reminder about the screaming disappointment that is my sex life.

I start running the shower, hoping the sound of it will drown out round three. That's usually the loudest. Samantha's turn is normally much quieter. God it's weird how I know that!

I wash carefully, especially under my arms, where I've been letting my hair grow back ever since they announced this play. I figured it would be more authentic and I wanted to show I was prepared to commit to the role. Still, being hairy there does make me feel a bit self-conscious and so I want to make sure it's super clean.

"Ah ah ah ah ah ah...." Sarah's so loud I can hear her over the rushing water as I soap up my hair. Lucky I dealt with myself under the covers before coming in here or I might be, well, cumming in here. Wouldn't be the first time. Well, I might be straight but it's hard not to find those sounds a total turn on. That's when it's not making me insanely jealous: none of my lovers have come close to what those two seem to manage on an ordinary morning, either in stamina or outcome. The benefits of not having a refractory period I suppose.

Bump bump bump bump bump bump

Headboard? Or the upstairs neighbours thumping the floor to complain again?

Bump bump bump bump bump bump

No, must be the headboard whacking against the wall. Sarah's screams are almost in time with the thumping. Not for the first time, I wonder if they have a strap on or something? I imagine Samatha between Sarah's legs fucking her with a massive plastic penis. Or are they doing it doggy style? Samantha would probably tell me if I asked but, well, that would be kind of crossing a line.

I wait for Sarah's climax before getting out. Oh the absurdity of it: working my wash routine around my flatmates' sex life.

"Samantha my love, my love.... yes, yes, YES! Oh, oh, oh.... stop, stop..."

Right, time to get out. I'll just dry off and do the rest in my room and put the towel back later.

* * *

"Now, I want you to go back, go back, go back through time. Find a time of innocence and wonder," Keke's voice drones on as he paces around the large, top floor studio space he's booked for the audition. I like him, but he can be a pretentious prick at times. He's clearly envisioning himself as some kind of guru here in the group audition.

We've stretched and warmed up and done some drama games and now come the audition exercises.

I carefully ensure I'm near a group of first years and as far away from Carrie Huntley as possible. As much as I resent her, I have to admit she's an amazing actress and most likely frontrunner for the part of Eve. It's her final year too, so like me she'll be wanting to go out with a bang. Being next to her at this point will just invite comparison, whereas I should be able to outshine these over-serious freshers.

"Recall your early childhood: the time of why; the time of play; the time of now," Keke continues. I get what he's doing. The play is set in the garden of Eden before the fall, a time of innocence. I guess he wants to see if we can inhabit that headspace.

I've done my research. I've deliberately decked myself out in a simple, sleeveless dress in pastel colours. It's very loose, so I have leggings and a sports bra underneath. I'm not wearing makeup, ok, just a tiny, natural look smattering, and my curly hair is bouncing free. I'm hoping I look childish and naive. Perfect for Eve. I'm also hoping that, for once, my darker skin will be an asset not a hindrance. I mean, I got that I couldn't really be believable as Blanche DuBois, but it still smarted to be cast as the nameless coloured woman and have to watch while Carrie brought the house down in the title role. And to be relegated to Maria in Twelfth Night (with Carrie as Viola, of course!) was annoying, for all that I made that role my own. But this time, my appearance should make me the frontrunner, especially with Keke directing.

"Now," commands Keke, "play! Play children! Play!"

The first years - Tabitha and Lucy - jump on some toys and immediately start squabbling in a caricature of childhood tantrums. I hang back, and pick up some plastic animals. They're spending it all at once.

I'm not going to go fully method now. I will, if I get the part. But by now I've worked out what these group auditions are about and how to play them. It's not about raw talent, and definitely not about raw emotion, which is all those girls are showing: it's about accommodation. The director wants to know who will follow, who will be directed. Showing too much now will just threaten him or her.

I sit cross-legged on the floor and just play with the animals. I wait until I feel Keke's attention on me and then beckon to a boy near me.

"What's it called?" I ask, in my best little girl voice, holding up a plastic hippo.

He plays along, "that's a 'ip-o."

"A 'ippo?!" I giggle. "No, 'ippos are when you have 'ippos. Like dis," I do my best imitation of hiccups.

He laughs.

I don't want to over play it, so I pick up a model cheetah: "what's dis un den?"

"Dat's a cheetah."

"No! You're da cheater," I giggle.

From under my hair, I see Keke making notes and nodding to himself. I keep my little scene going. Of course, I've read the play: the opening scene is basically God and Adam naming animals. I'm sure Keke made the connection, but I'm hoping he thinks I was just improvising rather than making a deliberate reference.

Keke lets the scene run, before having us respond to various scenarios as a group. At one stage it all gets rather Lord of the Flies - bloody boys - but, again, I suppose that's appropriate given what Cain and Abel get up to.

I'm sweating by the end, and deeply conscious of my smell. I slathered on the deodorant, but I'm not used to being hairy. I desperately want to grab my roll on from my bag and reapply, but don't want to break character.

Finally, we stop and Keke calls a ten minute break while he consults with his producer, Baz. I grab a drink and stick on more deodorant. I'm not the only one. I pull up my audition script and review it, then run it through in my head one more time, facing the window. We're up on the 6th floor of the Students' Union building and the panorama is wonderful, the Wills and Cabot towers sticking up over the roofs of Clifton. I use the view to avoid small talk. I want to get in the zone.

"Ok, everyone, thank you all so much for coming. You were fabulous, all of you. It's been really hard for me and Baz to make a decision but... well, sadly we can't cast you all. Everyone here will get free entry to one of the performances though, as a little thank you."

He takes a breath. I offer a quick prayer to whichever deity cares to listen in.

"So, for recalls, we'd like to see in this order: Suzy, Carrie, Amanda, Haile, Dev..." I've stopped listening. Yes, I made it through. Only three girls - well the only female part is Eve. That's the bloody problem with theatre in general: not enough parts for girls. I lobbied for us to do Top Girls last year, but it wasn't accepted: we ended up with Streetcar instead.

I'm pleased. Suzy's lovely, she was a great Stella, but I think I'm better, and going last will work in my favour. Following Carrie though - it would have been better for me if she'd gone first. Still, at least she won't be following me.

The disappointed would-be cast members gather their things and leave, while the rest of us remain, expectant.

"So, we're going to do the auditions here in 10 minutes. I'll put a list of times up outside, and there will be chairs there to wait in. We'd appreciate it if you were here at least 20 minutes before your time, as we're going to overlap. You'll do a scene with the person before you and after you. Suzy as you're first, and Rich as you're last, Baz will partner you."

Ok, makes sense. We file out. I glance at my time: I've only 20 minutes effectively. No point going anywhere, but I don't want to hang around. Once we're cast, I know we'll all bond and be fast friends by the end, well apart from Ice Queen Carrie, though I guess if she's cast I won't be, and vice versa, so for once that won't be an issue. Right now though, I don't want to chat with anyone. I plug my headphones in, set an alarm on my phone, and go for a walk around the block.

When I get back, Suzy's already gone in. Carrie is sitting there reading.

"Hi Amanda," she says, "how are you?"

Ok, maybe Ice Queen is too harsh. I mean she's pleasant and polite, but she's always kept herself at arm's length. We've been in three plays together - Into the Woods was the other - and I feel like I barely know her. I know she's older - like 24 or something - but it feels like she's way more reserved and distant than a few years' age gap should account for.

"I'm good thanks," I smile, "you?"

"Yeah, fine." Then she turns back to her book. Suits me. I want to get into the zone.

I start to pull myself into the persona I've imagined for myself for Eve. The first woman. The template. Of course, she's a male construct, and this is an Arthur Miller play: his women are nearly always tropes. But I want to make her real.

Using strategies our drama tutor has taught us, I lower myself into her constructed psyche. I open myself to wonder and joy, an absence of fear. Through her eyes, I take stock of the corridor we sit in. The harsh angles become a miracle to me, an unbelievable work of construction. The posters on the wall are a wonder of colour. Carrie is transformed into a poised beauty, her wavy red hair like a waterfall at sunset, her freckles like pollen on lily petals, her long lycra-clad legs a miracle of muscles... gah! This strikes a wrong note.

"Just going to the loo. Tell them I'm, like, here," I say to her.

I shut myself in the ladies and take stock. I need to get that mindset back and not be distracted by my rival. But I also need to distract Keke and Baz from my rival. Urgh.

I think of Eve. I try to picture her.

And of course, she's naked. She's naked. Not nude, but naked. Well, that would certainly distract them!

Hang on, what am I contemplating here?! Going into the audition naked?!

But... how badly do I want this role? This is the final play the Union would stage in my final year of my English and Drama degree. My future is uncertain: I really want to be a stage actress and this is my chance to put something eye-catching on my resume.

"Come on Amanda, how much do you want this?"

Before I lose my nerve, I whip my dress over my head, strip off my sports bra, pull down my leggings and pants, then put my dress back on. I stuff my underwear into my bag, then, before I change my mind, go back out.

Carrie has gone in. Haile has just arrived.

"Hey," I say.

"Wha gowan?" he drawls. Off stage he is super street, but on stage he can be as articulate as anyone. He'd been a great Antonio.

Suddenly, we hear clapping from the audition room. Hmmmm, probably not a good sign as far as I'm concerned.

"Excuse me," I say, "I need to get in the zone."

I try once again to lower myself into Eve's persona. Strangely, or perhaps not, the feeling of not wearing anything under my cotton dress makes it easier. I feel that freedom, that innocence, that wonder. The back of my mind is reminding me that this shouldn't be sexual - Eve isn't aware of sex, not yet - but a childish lack of care, belonging to a world before shame, before constraint.

I am aware of Suzy coming out. "Suzy!" I say, my voice high and little-girl like, "how was it? Was it fun?"

"Yes, it was great, thanks. Went well I think."

Amanda would care about this, but Eve doesn't. She isn't of a time of jealousy and envy. "Yay!" I give a little squeal. "That's brilliant."

"Aw, thanks. Well, break a leg yourself. You too Haile. Bye!"

I turn my attention to my feet. They are in sandals. In the back of my head Amanda is saying I should take them off, so I do, clumsily, trying to work it out. Finally, managing it, I examine them, wondering how they were made, and why I might have wanted to wear them.

Suddenly, a head is sticking out of the door. Oh, that's Carrie!

"Amanda, you're up." Oh, that's me.

I jump up, then follow Amanda's mental instructions. "Can you watch this for me?" I say to Haile, pointing at my bag.

"Fo' sure."

"Thank you!" I chime. Then reaching down, I grab my dress, and pull it off and over my head and drop it on my bag. Haile's jaw drops.

Naked, I skip into the audition room, my bare breasts bouncing

"Hi, hi!" I call. "I'm rea-dy. What we doing?"

Baz and Keke are sitting at a table, Carrie standing in the middle of the room. All three have their mouths hanging open.

I spin around, all innocence and look behind me.

"What're you all staring at?" I ask, wide-eyed.

* * *

"Good for you! I'll teach you to ride my alligators!" Adam declares.

I squeal with delight, and pirouette, before seizing his hand and dragging him off. I want to ride the alligators.

I'm a bit disappointed that there aren't any.

A round of applause erupts from behind me, and I spin around again to see Baz and Keke clapping. I bow bashfully, my hair flapping about.

"Wow, you two, wow," says Keke, "great chemistry! So believable."

"Safe man! I felt good, ya feel me?" Oh, Haile isn't Adam anymore.

"Amanda, that was amazing. Thank you. You showed us so much."

"So, just to be clear Amanda, if you got the part, you'd be willing to be naked on stage?" Baz asks.

"Well, of course!" I say, while Amanda facepalms herself at the back of my mind, "why not? Right?"

"Ok, wow, thanks! Lots for us to think about," says Keke. "Thanks so much, you were amazing. We'll be in touch."

"Bye boys! Thanks!"

With that, I skip out of the door. Dev's waiting in a chair to the side and his mouth drops open when he sees me. Carrie is also slack jawed and waiting.

"Er, how did it go?" she asks, holding out my dress to me. Her freckled face is beetroot red.

"Oh, great thanks. I loved it." I'm in no hurry to put my dress on, but I suppose I should.

"I just stayed to watch your stuff for you... I didn't want anyone stealing your clothes."

"Thank you, that's sweet," the thought of having to walk home naked brings me more fully out of the Eve persona, and suddenly I can't finish getting my dress on quickly enough. I rummage in my bag and pull my knickers out, hitching them up under my skirt. Then leggings, then sandals. I can do without the bra for now. This dress gapes a bit but it'll be fine for the short walk home. Yet another advantage of living a street away from the Union.

Carrie's still here. I don't know why. I look at her in inquiry.

She looks embarrassed.

"Look, Amanda, I just wanted to say.... That was the bravest thing I've ever seen at Uni. Like, wow, I'm blown away. But, forget the nudity, you were Eve. They should totally cast you."

"Aw, thanks!" I'm actually touched.

Suddenly, the enormity of what I've just done, and what I've just committed to, hits me. I'm going to be naked on stage!!

"Um, like look Carrie, do you want to, like, get a drink?" I suddenly feel the need for something strong.

"Sorry, I'm driving. I can't have anything."

"Well, keep me company? Are you in, like, a rush to be anywhere?"

"No, not straight away, ok, yeah, sure."

She really doesn't seem sure. I don't know why I care if she comes or not - I guess I'm just enjoying seeing the usually unflappable Carrie fail to stay calm and collected.

"In fact, let me buy you something," she says.

"Deal. Bye Dev! Break a leg!"

We ride the lift down to the bar.

"Gin, gin, gin," I chant.

"There's a deal on doubles if you like," says the boy behind the bar.

"Yep! Hit me!" I yell. "What are you getting?"

"I'll have a coke please," says Carrie. "I'll pay."

"No argument here!"

Once we have our drinks, we grab a high table and pull up stools.

"Cheers!"

"Cheers!" We clink glasses.

I gulp down half the G&T in one go. It's strong.

"Oh my God! I can't believe I did that!" I'm buzzing.

"I know. I mean, just wow Amanda. So brave. How did it feel?" She leans over, elbows on the table.

"Like it was excruciating and empowering at the same time, but I'm, like, only feeling that now, really? If it doesn't sound too wanky, at the time I was, like, just focussed on being Eve, you know?" I brush my hair back from my face.

"Actually, yeah, I do. And I could tell. I mean that was a ballsy move, and you deserve the part just for that, but really you were Eve. It was as if you were seeing everything and everyone for the first time..."

"Exactly! Yes! That's, like, totally what I was going for!" I clutch my hands together in glee. She gets it!

"Well, it worked: I was sold." She pauses, looks at me intensely for a moment, then pulls out her phone. "Hang on." She taps something into her phone. "There. Done."

"Anything important?" I take another gulp of my drink.

"Just messaging Keke and Baz to say if they don't cast you as Eve they are fucking idiots and that I don't want to be considered for the part."

"What!? Carrie!" I throw my inhibitions and usual jealousy of her to the wind and throw myself at her, crushing her into a hug. "You can't do that! That's like... that's so sweet... but you just can't."

"Well, I can and I did. So there."

"But that's not.." suddenly I'm a little disappointed: I wanted to be cast over her because I was better than her for the role, not because she withdrew. Now I'll never know. My shoulders slump a little. I start again. "I don't want you to withdraw Carrie," I try to say sincerely, "you know, like, this is your last chance at performing too."

"Well maybe, but I've had my turn. I was Viola. And Blanche. And that was such a racist choice these days: where were the parts for people of colour? Especially given the talent in the Uni? It was so unfair. No, this is your turn Amanda. You're going to be great. You deserve this. You are a brilliant actress. I mean you were great as Maria, but you should have been Olivia." She rests her hand on my arm and stares into my eyes as she says this.