Everlasting Love!

She'd gone back to Antelope Hill to find a tether she was able to re-anchor her life.

It broke Leo's heart that she'd left, but Leo supposed she must have found her tether what she needed because less than two months later, she'd married Lyle. It had broken his heart. Though his heart was broken, Leo had gotten a promotion at Big Tech. Soon, he didn't have too much time to think about it. Leo knew he had to get ahead to the next level. He had to impress the bosses. Leo had so much to do, so he put it back in his mind and continued working. Since Leo had nothing in his life,retreated into his solitude and loneliness.

For the past two decades, Leo yearly, made the promise to himself that just one more year and then he'd be happy. Just another year, and he'd be happy. So, two decades had gone by. Leo had risen in Big Tech. He'd accrued awards, status and many possessions, but true happiness never arrived for Leo. He'd always put it off for "another year."

Leo knew he'd married Sandra because he was "supposed to." He'd also thought she'd bring him happiness and status. Get ahead, get ahead, get ahead...had been Leo's guiding principle, but now his life's mantra had shattered like glass into a million pieces.

For so long, finding the new and best thing had been his purpose. It had seemed like a clear path but really was anything but. From when Julie left him, Leo had a series of "love affairs" with Big Tech work projects. They came first. So, Leo remained an unattractive, socially inept and workaholic man until that came crashing down.

Back in Antelope Hill, somewhat broken by the rat race, Leo was suddenly again thrown completely off balance as Gail blabbed, betraying Julie's confidence. Even after all these years, Leo knew it was typical of Gail. He wouldn't trust Gail with the weather forecast.

"Good...now see, it isn't that hard to give a lady an answer even if you are a big fish at BigTech," stated Gail. Pacified that Leo would do as commanded, Gail left Corner Cafe alone and headed out. The dancing Santa started up with "Jingle Bells." as she left.

"Hey, can I bum a smoke?" Leo questioned a stranger at the next table. The stranger nodded and gave him a cigarette and a light. It had been years since Leo had smoked. Although he thought about it and craved them every day, indoor smoking had been forbidden in California 'for health reasons' for the past ten years, but no one had bothered to tell Antelope Hill's Coner Cafe or the bar down the street. Wyoming would get around to banning it someday...eventually...probably. Ultimately, no one really complained unless teenagers started smoking in class instead of sharing cigarettes behind the high school. (An open secret/tradition that Leo had also participated in.)

Leo took a long drag on his cigarette and smoked. The irony of him smoking when he'd just heard Julie was likely dying of cancer wasn't lost on him. Still, he smoked, poking his now cold scrambled eggs with a fork. What in the world should he do now? Leo had no answers, only questions.

Leo eventually left the Corner Cafe. He meandered around Antelope Hill for a while,

wondering how Julie could have kept this from him. He stared at the War Memorial, walked by Abraham Lincoln High School, where he'd gone to school, and the Nativity Scene in the city square. (Again, based on his California experience, he thought that was probably illegal, BUT who here was going to complain?) It was one of those small-town things you just shut up about and accepted.

Leo would have gone to Antelope Hill's Carnegie Library, but Ms. Kottke, now in her mid-70s, still worked there. ( Leo had lost a "Goosebumps" book in the 4th Grade. She'd yelled at him about civic duty and responsibility.) Even though he was an adult, he was still afraid of her, so the library was definitely out! A fierce winter wind picked up, and Leo headed back to Julie's house. He had a lot to contemplate.

Upon entering Julie's home, wanting an escape from all the deep revelations that had come his way, Leo opened his laptop and decided to listen to music. He chose some whiskey smooth jazz, not cheesy electronic pop Christmas music.

A notification pinged upon opening the laptop. It was from the law firm of Dewey, Cheatem and Billings in Silicon Valley. His wife, Sandra, was filing for divorce. Well, fine by him! Since Sandra had cheated on him with her Pilates instructor; in his mind, she was nothing but a dirty Hoochie!

Leo took a little nap. Awakening and looking at his computer, he realized as it was already 4:30, Julie would be home soon. Suddenly, Leo had an epiphany that had been slow in coming. Leo realized Julie's emaciated state and thinning hair weren't from age but from Chemo. He pulled out the spaghetti and warmed up the leftovers for the night.

The couple sat around the green Formica table again. Leo had a million questions for Julie but decided to start with an easy one. "Where's Lyle?" Leo questioned. Julie had wanted a real marriage, dependable, tethered. A place to be safely anchored. In his quest to get ahead at Big Tech, Leo had been unable to provide that...SO Julie had left him alone in Silicon Valley and gone back to Antelope Hill. Less than two months after leaving Silicon Valley, Julie married Lyle.

Julie had pointed out that Lyle was a long-distance trucker and made good money. (At least by Antelope Hill standards.) Lyle and Julie had gone on a few dates in high school and grown up next door to each other. So the wedding wasn't unexpected nor peculiar. It was "a good match" in the eyes of the residents of Antelope Hill.

"I don't know where Lyle is. He left me about ten years ago now...could be anywhere. Liesel was just eight when he left. The bastard doesn't even send child support. Not that he would now that Liesel is nearly twenty. Liesel is over in Sheridan at a Cosmetology school. Liesel wants to have her own 'Beauty Parlor' right here in Antelope Hill, a salon that does mani-pedis, hair blowouts and whatnot! I'm so proud of her! Whoever thought my baby would be a businesswoman?"

Leo noticed how her face lit up when she talked about her daughter, Liesel. Leo knew Liesel was the pride and joy of Julie's life.

"Anyway...I have no clue where Lyle is." Finished Julie.

Suddenly, Leo was aware that Julie was picking at her food again. Leo now knew it was the chemo that took away her appetite. Leo wondered what he could do to make encourage her to eat. She needed to eat healthy nourishment to get better! He'd only been in Antelope Hill a day, but he now knew it would his job to get Julie better.

It made him realize how much he truly loved her. Leo just nodded. He had sorta wondered why Julie had named her daughter after his grandmother, Liesel. But it was probably a coincidence. Liesel was a beautiful name, and lots of people in Antelope Hill had similar names. Yet, part of Leo felt honoured.

And so, the days of early December went by. During the days, he spoke on the phone with attorneys about divorcing his wife, Sandra. In the evenings, Leo and Julie would walk around town looking at the Christmas lights. He'd always make sure she was wrapped up warm to protect her from the fierce winter winds. Leo never let on that he knew Julie was getting chemo.

He wanted her to have her pride. Julie would say she had to Christmas shop, so Leo would drop Julie off at the Cheyenne Mall to do "Christmas shopping." He knew she really went to Chemo at the hospital, BUT he let Julie have it her way. He wanted Julie to have her pride. Leo knew Julie didn't want to worry him. Julie always put everyone else first--herself last. So, Leo continued the charade of "taking her to the mall."

During the winter evenings, they'd have dinner and walk around. After one particularly freezing night, Leo and Julie shuffled into the house. Snow flurries followed them inside. "SO COLD!" said Leo, shivering and teeth chattering. Julie nodded and took off her scarf. "I'll make us some hot chocolate,"

Leo reached for Hershey's Coco powder, and when she smiled and nodded, he took it down from the cupboard. Julie grabbed the milk from the refrigerator. They were working in sync as a couple.

As he was pouring and mixing the ingredients together, Leo realized Julie was staring at him with desire in her eyes. No one had looked at him like that in a LONG time. " You know I still have THOSE movies we made...down in the cellar...we could watch them if you want," she said, winking.

"You still have THOSE movies? But they were on VHS and SUCKED! They were SO

cheesy!" stated Leo. Long ago, when he and Julie had first moved to Silicon Valley, Leo and Julie had made sex tapes. They would set the HUGH video camera up on the tripod, bought at Circuit City, of course, and they would...well, they would copulate. They did all the stereotypical porn videos. "I have a BIG package for you!" "Me Tarzan...you Jane" and so on. It was one of the few romantic things they did as a couple in Silicon Valley. Leo had truly enjoyed "acting" with Juile in those videos.

Back then, they had been so intense, so in love, and he'd let it all slip through his hands... Leo knew he had been a fool. His heart ached for all the time they'd lost. It had been the worst mistake of his life!

"Of course, I still have them. I haven't seen them in ages, but what was I supposed to

do...give the tapes to Goodwill? Some little kid puts it in the tape player, expecting to see Sesame Street and well...gets us." said Julie, laughing and blushing at the memories. "Besides, I have a new TV...I don't have the right hook-up system. But I'd really like to see those movies again."

Julie put her head against and snuggled deeply into his warm embrace. Leo enjoyed holding Julie, for now. He smelled her chocolate brown hair streaked with gray and perfume. He liked being with her; tomorrow, he'd go down to the basement and figure out what tech Julie needed to hook up the old VCR to the new TV. He wanted to watch THOSE movies, too. Leo drank his hot chocolate and embraced Julie. They just were together as a couple. They were just being.

Leo had been going down to the Corner Cafe every day. He liked people-watching and the atmosphere, and he could smoke there. Sadly, Gail was also a mainstay. (She had to pick up her hot gossip from somewhere!) To Leo's great annoyance, Gail would often come and plunk herself down and sit next to him.

Gail foolishly assumed that because he lived in California, he would know famous celebrities and tell her all their intimate secrets. Gail gave every person who tried to talk to him the "evil eye," and they would flee back to their seats, afraid of Gail and her muckraking. Thus, when at the cafe, Leo had no one to talk to, so he talked to Gail.

One day, he mentioned Liesel, and immediately, Gail interrupted, saying, "So Liesel is coming home from Sheridan for Christmas? That's great news! We're all so proud of her. You know she was born two months early, but she was as healthy as a horse! Liesel has really made a lot of herself. "It's just too bad Luther Jolsen of Main Street Bank hates her. Liesel will never get that loan for her beauty salon. I personally don't care for gossip, BUT the rumour is she refused to sleep with him in high school. Liesel said she wanted better than a dirty scumbag like him....but you didn't hear that from me! I don't spread idle gossip." Gail stated.

Gail quickly finished her coffee and then left in her abrupt manner. Gail always had places to be and gossip to spread; in person, of course, spreading it on text message left out the salaciousness, and you couldn't see a person's reactions.

Leo sat in his booth and smeared strawberry jelly on his toast. Liesel had been born two months early, or just seven months after Julie married Lyle. That meant Liesel could be his daughter...could, but wouldn't have Julie told him? If Liesel was his daughter...he probably could not have handled it at the time. Sure, his quest had been to get ahead, get ahead, get ahead, and he barely had time for anyone. Let alone a baby who needed twenty-four-seven care. Still, he was devastated that Julie hadn't told him about the baby...if Liesel was his baby.

Still, deep in his heart, Leo knew Liesel was his baby. There really was no point in denying it now. Leo knew that Julie returned to Antelope Hill rather than spoil his dreams of being a manager at Big Tech, with a mansion that had a pool in Silicon Valley. Leo wondered how he could have been so young, naïve, and yes, stupid that he'd let his love go. Leo could only wonder what to do now and hope it wasn't too late.

Leo wanted to ask Julie so many questions, but he knew that if questions weren't asked at the right way at an appropriate moment at a certain time, they could never be asked again. Why she had left him was one of those questions he couldn't ask, for in his heart, he already knew the answer.

He'd selfishly put himself first and everyone else last. Leo had sought greed and fleeting objects instead of true love. He was the opposite of Julie.

One afternoon, Leo was in the house reading a tattered paperback that he'd gotten from the library. Ms. Kottke had finally heard that Leo was in town and living with Julie. Now she let him check out books from the library, although she reprimanded him about the missing Goosebumps book. Leo didn't go often; truth be told, he was still a little afraid of her!

Engrossed in his book, Leo didn't hear the key turn in the lock. There was Julie with a bunch of grocery bags. "Ok...I got everything I think we need for Christmas dinner. I figured since it's just the three of us, we'd pick up a rotisserie chicken from Costco a few days beforehand. There's no way the three of us could eat an entire turkey, but I've gotten everything else."

Leo helped put the groceries away. Suddenly, it struck Leo that in the time he'd lived in Silicon Valley, Julie had become a very mature woman. She no longer needed someone to pay the bills or fetch the groceries; she could look after herself and even do things like change a tire or put up curtain rod holders. She'd even managed to succeed in raising a child (mostly on her own) and become a manager at Shop N Save. He loved her for that!

Sandra had relied on him (well, mainly his bank account.) too much. Julie didn't lead a fancy life, no mani-pedis or spa days, but she stuck it out. She had a daughter to take care of! After two weeks, the technology to hook the VCR up to the new TV had arrived. It was considered a "specialty. item", so it had taken a while. Also, Antelope Hill was considered a "remote location"; next-day shipping wasn't available.

Leo hooked it up. It was Tuesday, so he and Julie were having spaghetti again. "The right thingies came for the VCR hook-up today. I thought we could watch THOSE videos tonight. Whadda you think? It was fun to make them all, BUT do you have a favorite one?" Leo asked Julie.

Julie blushed a deep red. She knew Leo wanted to make out. She wanted to make out, too, but she knew now was the time to tell the dark secret she'd been harbouring.

"Leo, I want to watch the videos and do stuff...I'm no longer a spring chicken...lots of things have happened since then. You used to say that I had the perfect breasts, not too big- not too small, just right for your hands. We used to lay next to each other all night...you'd suck on them or just play. That was wonderful...I loved that. No one ever...you brought me so much pleasure that way." Julie was openly crying now.

Leo already knew what the problem was, but Julie had to tell her the truth. "I have

cancer...and I've had a mastectomy...I've been getting Chemo--- it's all red and bumpy down there. I was going to get a tattoo to cover my mastectomy scars...but now it's too late...my cancer has metastasized...it's everywhere! It's terminal." Julie couldn't say anything else. She just dissolved into tears.

Leo didn't know what to say. He didn't even know if there were words. But HIS Julie needed comforting now; not everything in a relationship was about physical attraction. They were no longer the young and impetus children they had been when they first fell in love.

Yes, HIS Julie had cancer; Leo had known that for a while. Leo knew he was at a crossroads in his life; part of him was saying that he should get the hell out of Antelope Hill and get on the first airplane back to Silicon Valley. But Leo had let Julie go twenty years before. He'd regretted it every day since. He knew Julie was dying. He knew there was no hope. But, here, at the end of the world and at the end of all hope, Leo loved Julie.

Those three words were all that mattered. Leo loved Julie. Leo sat down next to Julie. She put her head on his shoulder and cried bitter tears. Leo comforted Julie and ran his hands through her hair. Kissing her, hoping his kisses could be a salve, a cure, for the inevitable. The lovers held each other and made love without moving, as only a couple who have been together forever could. It was love as pure as truth.

Leo quickly signed off on his divorce to Sandra and shortly received the final decree. Leo rejoiced that it was so quick as he wanted to be free to marry Julie. He didn't want her to be his Mistress.

He wanted Julie to be his wife! Leo knew that some married couples might get divorced so that they wouldn't inherit their spouse's medical debt, BUT finally, having learned from Julie what unselfish, totally giving love really was after a lifetime of seeking money and status, money and status, debt didn't matter to Leo. Leo felt her debts wouldn't be a burden. He loved Julie! That, above all other things, Leo knew to be true!

He simply wanted Julie as his wife, free and clear. He saw picking up her debs as not a burden. He remembered how Julie always wanted something from Tiffany's; Leo ordered Julie an engagement ring from Tiffany's and proposed. He was astonished at what Julie said as she collapsed in his embrace. "I'd love to marry you, Leo....but I have terminal cancer. I'm going to die; there's no way around it. No magic fairies, no miraculous treatment...I will die and fairly soon."

Julie wiped away tears from her eyes. She didn't know what else to say. She hadn't really questioned the Cosmos on why she got cancer and was dying until Leo had returned. People got cancer and died all the time. Julie had accepted that she had cancer and was going to die. But now it was far too late to make a pilgrimage to the Ganges River, Mecca, the Western Wall or Lourdes. Places where people went to pray for miracles, which many believed sometimes come true. It was too late to summon fairies or ask Santa.

Julie simply was going to die. There would be no Christmas miracle. She knew people die at Christmas all the time. Life is like that. After all, people come together because every time they do, it could be the last Christmas. Every Christmas has the potential to be "last Christmas," and this would be Julie's.

Leo had always believed in "the power of love," BUT it was only in movies and stories that love conquered cancer. Nothing would save Julie now. Julie thought she'd made peace with her terminal cancer but now wondered as she continued crying in Leo's arms. But now, now that Leo had proposed, Julie didn't know what to do.

Her heart was shattering like glass. How could she marry him only to leave him alone? Why couldn't there be magic fairies to make everything alright? Julie wanted to say no. It would be so easy. It would be the "right" thing to do. But Julie could only follow her heart. She loved Leo. She'd always loved Leo.

"Yes, Leo,...yes, I'll marry you. I know we should have gotten married twenty years ago; for twenty years, we could have lived and loved together. We could have shared each other's gladness and wept each other's tears...we don't have time for gladness now, Leo...only tears." said Julie, crying.