Everybody Except Me

"Go back to Jorge, Carrie. Don't you see it? I'm setting you free."

"But I did love you, Josh. Don't you see that? I couldn't have stayed with you for 20 years if I didn't love you. Yes, I'm not in love with you like I am with Jorge, but I truly do love you," she cried.

"Your version of love is way different than mine, Carrie. If you truly loved me, you would have done right by me and not kept me as your back-up guy. I should have been number one. I deserved to be the guy you were in love with, desired. By deceiving me, you never gave me the choice to stay as your number two... or maybe find a woman who wanted me to be number one.

"I gave you two wonderful kids. We had a good life... or at least I thought we did. Gone in a puff of smoke. You get what you wanted, apparently. Jorge got what he wanted, apparently. Robbie got what she wanted. And I got what... I got shit.

"So what was your game plan for after the kids left the house, assuming that I never found out about you and Jorge?"

Her mouth opened, but no sound came out, at least for a few seconds.

"I guess I always thought that I would go back to Spain to be with Jorge... and Robbie. I'm sorry, Josh, I guess I never really considered... you in my long-term plans," she said quietly.

"I know," I responded just as quietly.

"I won't fight anything on the divorce," she practically whispered.

I was surprised that both kids weren't happy with my decision to divorce their mother. Originally, they were both upset that she had cheated on me for so long, but I guess she was able to persuade them her love for me was real. As for her being in love with Jorge... well, that had been going on for so long they were able to rationalize it to themselves. Apparently, they were also able to rationalize in their minds that I would be happy being their mother's number two guy.

"Aunt Robbie is good with it. Why can't you get on board with it like her?" AJ asked.

"Aunt Robbie helped set the whole thing up. She, Uncle Jorge and your mother made plans. I was not included. Everybody except me was in on this whole shitshow. Why wasn't I included in the planning? Because your mother knew I wouldn't go along with it. Better to ask forgiveness... if you have to, rather than seek permission," I said.

"Let me ask you something, AJ. When you get married, are you going to let your husband have a lover... a lover that he cares about more than you?"

"No. I'd kick his ass if he even suggested that," she said emphatically. "But this has been going on for more than 20 years at this point."

"So I should just accept it because it's been going on forever? Like Aunt Robbie has? Like you would if it happened to you?"

She grimaced and dropped her eyes. The conversation was apparently over.

My assumption that Carrie would head to Spain after the divorce was done was confirmed by my kids. I'll admit that I missed the companionship, but not the life I had... since I never really had that life. Realizing I had no trust in women anymore, I went to a counselor and got help. Still, I wasn't exactly looking for my next relationship.

I went out on a few dates here and there and even had sex occasionally, very occasionally, but that wasn't high on my list anymore. I was surprised by the fact that there seemed to be a lot of unattached women in the 40 to 50 age range. I guess I never realized that fact when I was a supposedly happily-married man.

I also never realized the changing dynamic between men and women in the last 20-something years. The last time I was loose on the dating scene, the men did most of the hunting. I found out today it's a 50-50 proposition. It took me a minute or two to get used to this new dynamic. I have to admit it's a big ego pump when a woman approaches me to get the dance started.

Hers was probably the last face I expected to see when I answered my doorbell one day about two years after my divorce. It took a couple of seconds to realize who I was looking at, even though she looked almost exactly the same as the last time I saw her. Robbie Santiago was still a beautiful woman.

"Uhh... come in, Robbie. What brings you to my door?" I asked, still somewhat in shock.

"Can't I visit an old friend... assuming, I suppose, we still are friends," she said timidly.

She accepted the cup of coffee I offered and we sat down in my family room. She squirmed in her seat and cleared her throat.

"You never answered my question, Josh. Are we still friends?" she asked.

I screwed up my face as I thought.

"We used to be friends... at least that's what I thought. Then I found out you didn't think so..." I started to say before she jumped in.

"No, that's not true," she interrupted. "I always considered you a friend."

"If I was a friend, then how could you do to me what you did?" I questioned.

"I was selfish... and incredibly stupid," Robbie said. "I never looked hard at the consequences of what I was doing because I trusted Jorge and Carrie. Carrie was like a sister to me. I never saw it coming.

"I put up with it because I got Sergio out of the deal... and after that it was just for a few days here and there in all the years. And I absolutely loved it when you forbade her from seeing him for those few years. But then you divorced her... and sent her back into his life... and mine. I guess after all these years, I'm tired of being his second-best woman.

"I completely get where you are coming from now. God, I was so stupid."

"Hurts, doesn't it?" I asked smugly.

She didn't answer but dropped her eyes. Finally, somebody showing a little remorse.

"I guess we can be friends again, of a sort. Friends linked by shared experience," I said.

We talked long into the night. We switched from coffee to a bottle of pinot grigio, and finished that. When she got ready to leave, I surprised her... and myself... by offering her my guest room. She accepted.

It was... fun, I had to admit, to have a piece of my old life back. I think we both enjoyed the familiarity.

The second weekend she stayed with me, we went out to a restaurant for dinner, followed by hitting an upscale bar for drinks and dessert. It was two old friends, not a date, but somewhere along the way, hormones got involved. She was wearing a fairly tight dark blue dress that showed more than a hint of cleavage and a lot of muscular, tight legs. I certainly wasn't planning on anything happening, so I was a little surprised when I felt myself getting hard while we were eating dessert. I blushed... and she just knew. She reached across the table and took my hand. We continued holding hands for the rest of the night.

We were about a block from my house when Robbie changed the game.

"This doesn't have to mean anything, Josh," she rasped. "You're a handsome single guy... and I'm in an open marriage. We're consenting adults."

I smiled brightly. I reached for her hand, found it and gave it a kiss.

Clothes started hitting the floor almost as soon as we got back to my house, sort of like you see in one of those chick-flick romances. As we made our way to my bedroom, I discovered that Robbie was a world-class kisser.

When we got to my bedroom, I gently guided her to the bed, started sucking her nipples and began fingering what I found to be a very hot, wet pussy. Her breathing got ragged and then hitched before she screamed out her first orgasm. I quickly got her twice more and then slid further down her body.

Her secretions were fairly thick, almost like a honey consistency, and she gave off a fantastic musky aroma as I licked her opening and nibbled on her lips. Somewhere in the middle of that she levitated off the bed and went stiff in the air before screaming at full volume.

I wasn't ready for her jump and I have to admit she hurt my neck and nose with that move. I was licking for all I was worth and it seemed like she was trying to give me a concussion by ramming her gooey pussy into my face. I gave a hoarse laugh as she came hard again, then resumed my tongue work. Damn, she was hottttt!

I got two more orgasms out of her with my tongue before I moved up her body, lined up my tool with her pussy and sunk inside in two strong thrusts. Her center was molten heat and I started doing math in my head to delay the eruption that was building in my body.

She started yelling something in Spanish at that point. I knew she was bilingual after all these years living in Spain, but since I had only visited their home a few times, my Spanish was pretty bad.

"English! Say it in English, babe! How do I know if you like something or not if you're speaking a language I barely know," I said.

I was able to hold off for another 10 minutes or so before I growled out my own orgasm. I gradually moved off to the side so I wouldn't hurt her with my body weight as my prick softened. She smiled softly when I looked into her eyes.

I'm not going to lie and say it was the greatest sex of my life, although it was the best sex I'd had since I found out about Carrie cheating on me several years ago. We went at it one more time that night and did it again in the morning. We showered together and enjoyed washing each other's bodies before I took her to IHOP for a great breakfast. We spent much of the rest of the day on the sofa in the family room, cuddling, kissing and watching TV.

She didn't return to sleeping in the guest room for the rest of the time she stayed with me, which turned out to be another three weeks.

"I need to go back to Spain and divorce Jorge, then figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life," Robbie said. "I know we've had our fun together, but both of us know we're not each other's long-term solution. Still, you're a helluva good man, Josh. I'm really sorry I started the ball rolling on ruining your marriage."

"You didn't force her to do what she did, and at least you showed remorse. That's more than Carrie," I said.

"Well, I hope you find somebody that appreciates you for everything you bring to the table, and that's quite a lot," Robbie said.

Carrie had been living with Jorge for five years, and my kids had both relocated to the south of Spain to be closer to their mother. I missed them, but not their attitudes. I was tired of apologizing for divorcing their mother for cheating on me. No one was more surprised than me when Troy called one Sunday at 6 AM. Yeah, who the fuck calls someone Sunday morning at 6? I didn't look to see who was calling. I just grabbed the phone and yelled.

"What? This had better be a fucking emergency, or someone's dying!" I yelled.

"Dad? Dad! It's me, Troy. Why are you so mad?" he asked.

"It's 6 in the morning on a Sunday, Troy. Did you forget about the time difference?" I asked.

"Uhh... yeah, I guess I did, Dad," he said softly. "I'll call back later."

"No, Troy, don't hang up. What did you need?" I asked.

"Uhh... I'm not sure how to say this, Dad, but here goes: did you know that AJ is sleeping with Uncle Jorge?" he announced more than asked.

At this point I had gotten about three hours sleep after a very late night with a girl young enough to be dating... my son, but that was a whole different story. By the time he finished his statement, I was wide awake.

"What? What the fuck did you just say?" I yelled through the phone.

"You heard me, Dad. I said AJ is sleeping with Uncle Jorge," he announced again.

"How do you know that?" I asked, still at full volume.

"We were all over at Uncle Jorge's: AJ, Sergio and me, and when it got late all the kids went to our bedrooms, leaving just Uncle Jorge and Mom up. In the middle of the night, I got woken up by a woman screaming out an orgasm... and I realize it's not Mom. So I got up and went to AJ's door and listened for a bit because I was pretty sure I was going to have to kill Sergio. For God sake, he's her half-brother. But then it got worse: it wasn't Sergio," he said.

"Are you sure?" I croaked out.

"Yeah," he whispered.

"Well, she is 27, Dad. I guess she can make her own decisions about whom she sleeps with... but still, it's just creepy, you know what I mean?" he said.

"And your mother is good with this?" I asked.

He hesitated.

"Not really sure if she knows about this," he said.

Two days later, I was standing on Jorge's doorstep waiting for the fancy-ass doorbell to be answered. The woman of the house answered with a gasp.

"J-Josh. What are you doing here?" Carrie asked with a very shocked look on her face.

"I was in the neighborhood and wanted to see my children. Got a problem with that?" I said gruffly.

She stepped aside and let me in.

"Why didn't you call? You could have stayed here if we knew you were coming," she said.

I glared at her as all three kids and Jorge came into the parlor. Seeing it was me, all three kids approached for hugs while Jorge hung back. The kids all started talking at once, but they quickly went silent as I approached Jorge with fire in my eyes. He raised both hands in surrender. It didn't matter.

I'm not a great fighter, but I can hold my own. In this case, I had rage on my side. I unleashed my best straight right hand, which went through his upraised hands and connected directly with his nose. I felt the bone crumple and blood exploded everywhere. He staggered back before I hit him twice in the stomach as hard as I could, once with each hand. When he fell to his knees, I considered crushing his nuts, but decided that was too cliché. Still, he was right there, so I unleashed my best 50-yard field goal kick. It didn't crush his nuts, but by the shriek he gave I'm sure it conveyed my message.

I stepped back, breathing heavily, and looked around at the shocked faces.

"Uncle Josh, you promised me you wouldn't hurt Dad for what he did with Aunt Carrie!" Sergio wailed, but he wisely held his ground.

I was snorting fire from my nostrils, watching Jorge writhe in pain as Carrie rushed to him.

"I didn't break my promise to you!" I yelled back. "He got that beating for fucking my daughter, your half-sister!"

"Did you know he was having sex with your daughter?" I asked, turning my attention to my ex-wife.

Her expression changed from scared to shocked as she looked up at me, then back at Jorge.

"What is he saying?" she asked Jorge.

Jorge was curled up in a fetal ball, bleeding profusely and whimpering.

"I'm old enough to decide who I sleep with!" AJ declared. "I don't need permission from either of you."

"Yup, you are old enough to make your own mistakes, like sharing a man with your mother, even if he is the man who broke up your parents' marriage. But you, like your mother and shithead on the floor, are also old enough to know there are consequences to every action... and his recent action gave me the chance to give him the consequences I couldn't give him for fucking your mother because I'd promised Sergio.

"I guess I owe you a big thanks for giving me the chance to do something that was long overdue. But still, your choice of sexual partners is more than a little disturbing considering everything that has happened."

She blushed as she looked first at me, then at her mother.

"I'm sorry, Mom," she said.

Carrie looked hard at AJ, and I knew then what was coming. She turned toward Jorge and swung her leg as hard as she could, catching the man in the face with her foot. He groaned before passing out.

"Nice shot, Mom," Troy enthused.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Josh. I didn't know about Dad and AJ. That's... just wrong," Sergio said.

"Yes it is, Sergio, but it's not your fault and not your place to apologize," I said.

"Kids, it was great to see you all, although you, AJ, and I have a lot to discuss someday. Carrie, not so great to see you. But I have some sightseeing to do for a few days before I go home. Now if you don't mind...

"Oh, by the way, you've got my number if dickhead wants to press charges against me. Just give me a call and I'll turn myself in."

"That's not going to happen, Uncle Josh. That's my promise. Dad and I also have a lot to talk about," Sergio said.

******

"YEEEAAAHHH!"

Everybody screams when they land after their first parachute jump, and I was no exception. That was absolutely off-the-hook fucking amazing!

My toes touched the ground first, and since my legs were out in front of my body, I gently sat down and screamed. I quickly scrambled to my knees and then feet, running back to grab my chute.

My pulse was going wild. I was too pumped to think about looking at my Fitbit, or I might have seen unbelievable numbers. I felt like my chest was going to explode my heart was beating so hard and so fast, and I knew my grin split my face in two.

"YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!" I screamed again as the jumpmaster came over to congratulate me and see if I hurt myself in any way.

"Nice jump, Josh!" he enthused at me as I gathered my stuff and headed out of the landing zone.

As I headed to the garage area where other people were coming out to greet me, I realized I was sweating profusely and it seemed like every noise around me was a little louder, a little crisper. Maybe that's what happens in a near-death experience, I thought to myself.

Okay, okay, I realize I was being a tad over the top... maybe a tad and a half, but next to witnessing the birth of my two children, I had just experienced the most amazing event of my lifetime... better than marriage... better even than my first time having sex! I may never be able to accurately explain what I had just gone through.

I was 51 years old and had been divorced for several years. I had pretty much moped through life for several years since the divorce, but a recent trip to Spain had jumpstarted my life. To be more precise, beating the fuck out of Jorge Santiago had done wonders for my spirits.

I practically jumped out of bed the first day I was back in the states. I laced up my New Balance trainers and hit the road. I had gotten back to jogging in the last year, but it had been a slog getting back into condition. On that morning, I ran, not slogged, through 7.2 miles, clipping off the distance at a 7:30 per mile pace, instead of my usual eight minutes a mile.

I practically bounced into work that morning. I was almost insufferable, I felt so energized. My admin, Theresa, noticed immediately, and five minutes after I got in, she appeared at my door with her cup of coffee and her pad because I had a lot to catch up on after being gone for a week, at least according to her.

The ruse ended a minute later when she sat down, looked straight into my eyes and said, "Okay, spill. You spent the week in Spain getting laid, didn't you?"

"Even better, Theresa," I responded. "I found my mojo. Who knew it was vacationing in southern Spain?"

"That's great, Josh. I'm glad for you. You deserve it."

I enrolled in a couple of classes at the local small college just for fun. There are over one billion Chinese, so I decided I needed to understand that culture a little better. The second class was even more frivolous, being all about classic rock. Most of the people in the class were in my age range, but there were a few kids in there, too, who were probably forced to listen to their parents' music as they were growing up and got hooked.

A month later I decided I needed to skydive.

I'm not sure why that got into my brain, because I'm scared shitless of heights. I just felt that I needed to do something to combat this fear... and jumping out of a plane from 2,000 feet seemed... completely fucking ridiculous.

Maybe that's the drawback of living alone. There's nobody else around to tell you that a stupid fucking idea is exactly that... a stupid fucking idea. Think about it: why would anyone volunteer to jump out of a perfectly good airplane? So I actually signed up for the class needed to start jumping.

I thought the class was good, but everything changed when we donned suits, broke into groups of three and my group headed out to the converted four-seater plane out of which we were going to jump.