Everything Changes

"More than okay. It is right."

Claudia gave her a reassuring hug. "Yes it is. Now we have to plan a wedding." She proclaimed.

Abby and I both shivered.

"Absolutely," Mum added. "Although, where should we hold it?"

"You know the bride's parents have to pay," Dad said laughingly.

"Typical." Klaus laughed. "Why are Poms always so bloody tight?"

"Who said Abby's the bride?" I threw in. "If we are getting married, I'm wearing a bridal gown."

"Same." Abby chirped in. "I'm not being out done."

The night evaporated into toasts, laughter and even more hugs.

Our world was turned upside down. We suddenly had two diva mums talking about venues, guest lists, cakes, flowers. Not a day went passed without the conversation.

Abby and I, alone at night, cuddled together in our bed, had our own discussions about venues. We both had ideas. I had one I was a little scared to float. It was a place I always considered sacred, and I had once had a very vivid dream about getting married there.

"Do you think your parents would be prepared to travel to Karamea for our wedding?"

Abby gave me a funny glare. "My parents... What about asking me first?"

I nodded. "Okay, would you be prepared to get married in Karamea?"

She grinned mischievously. "Will you be there?"

"Yes."

"Then I will be there as well. I don't care where we do it. I mean, I was hoping to do it here, but if you have something special, then I'm going to be there."

I opened my laptop and showed her the myriads of photos. I explained my dream, and she just said. "Wow." She quickly kissed me, and replied, "Yes, oh hell yes. God it's beautiful. Could we do it though?"

"I think so. It's in the national park, but I think we could get permission. If not, we could just sneak in."

"What about a reception? I mean, I always imagined a band."

"I know this cool place in Karamea. It would mean asking a fair bit of our friends and family. It's a long way to go."

"Babe, if they're truly our friends, then they will come."

I nodded. "What about bridesmaids?"

She giggled, "What about Lilly?"

"What?" I gasped. "Really, Lilly?"

"It was a joke, but in a way I'm serious. Without her, a lot of this wouldn't have happened."

"True dat." I giggled again. "But I'm not asking her."

"Oh fuck," Abby said feigning fright.

When we called the family meeting it was a bit scary, but once I floated it, Mums smile got so broad it was impossible to quell. Klaus and Claudia looked unsure, but when they saw the photos, and picked up on both Abby and my enthusiasm, they were on board.

"I don't know when you're planning this event for, but remember. I'm still a few months away from being able to walk properly," Klaus said loudly.

"Oh shut up, you old fart. I'll bloody carry you if I have to," Dad said in response.

There were so many things happening. My record label were chasing me to fullfil a couple of gigs that I had already committed to. My return date to Uni was closing in, and Abby was excited to record the new song. She wanted us to do it together, and when the record label heard it, they were ecstatic. I had another couple of songs I had written during my break up with Charlotte that I thought were pretty good. When Abby heard them, she was also excited.

Topping that off, we were still trying to help run the restaurant. It was easier now that Claudia could work, and with Mum by her side they made an awesome team. Dad worked with Klaus. He was pretty strict on him, not that he had to be. Klaus was adamant he wasn't going to be the reason we had to postpone the wedding.

Getting back together with the band was amazing. Arty and Nigel were overjoyed to have Abby back. Brenda, Casey and Maeve didn't take long to understand why I was so keen to have Abby in the band.

We started the rehearsals with hugs, and set about recording the new songs. Life seemed so much easier and fuller with Abby by my side. Problems dissolved with her helping. We started back at Uni the same day, which was fun. Our big project for the final year was to record an EP. We had that covered. There were some papers and assignments, but it all seemed so easy.

What wasn't easy was the phone call with Charlotte. We still chatted at least once a week, sometimes more. I had been reluctant to tell her about Abby, but in the end I had to tell her.

She was going on about a band she was working with, and I just had to get it out.

"Charlotte, are you sitting down?"

"No, should I be?"

"Might be a good idea, babe."

"You're coming back?" she said hopefully.

"No, I'm getting married." The line went silent as she absorbed the information. "Married... I suppose you want me to say congratulations?"

"No, I want you to be honest. I still consider you my friend. I would like to keep you in my life if that's at all possible."

"Who is it?" She asked, the bitterness dripping from every syllable.

"Abby."

"Oh fuck me... Tell me you're joking?"

"No, you were right. She was in love with me. I discovered I still loved her as well."

Silence descended and the room temperature dropped. I could almost hear her teeth gnashing. "Charlotte. I would like you to come to the wedding."

"Oh, fuck no. No bleeding way. Jesus, you cheeky fucking bitch. There be no way I'm going to your flaming wedding."

"The invitation is there. I would love for you to be there."

"Yeah, well you can kiss my arse." She disconnected the call, and I was left holding a beeping phone.

When I told Abby, she was a bit annoyed. "You invited her?"

"She's my friend. She was a big part of my life."

"I get that, but we should talk about these things. How would you feel if I said I invited Joe?"

"I would say I'm glad, believe it or not. Everybody who has been a part of our lives has led us too this point. Without each and everyone of them. This might not have happened."

"Holy shit, you're serious."

"Yes, and it was you that got me thinking about it. When you mentioned inviting Lilly, it got me thinking, and yes, I think we have to invite Lilly. There's trillions of atoms flying crazily around our universe, and for you and I to meet, then reconnect again. It took a lot of energy. It's no coincidence."

She paced around the room for a while. Then with her hands running through her hair, she said, "You think I should invite Joe?"

"Yes, categorically."

"Fuck, you might be crazier than me."

We both laughed, and then it was a hug... A kiss... Then her supple body was entwined with mine. Our lips mashed together, our wet slippery sex thumping together wetly.

The songs were coming together' there was an incredible power emerging from the group. Maeve and Abby gelled amazingly. They fed wantonly from each other as they grew the sound of the strings. If I was honest, I was a little jealous watching them forge a tight bond. Seeing two musicians bond like that is very emotive, the power of two far exceeds the one.

Still, the rest of us were hardly idle. Brenda and I worked tirelessly on the drum sounds and the rhythms. I didn't want straight ahead rock-based drums. I wanted something expansive, poly-rhythmical, complex but powerful and compelling. I wanted listeners to be hooked, unable to switch the dial or change the channel. I wanted them involved, their souls not only hearing, but feeling the pulse.

Brenda was good, way better than many. She unlocked what I was trying to explain. She gave the songs a robust temperamental feel.

When we all came together it was surreal, all of the individual parts combining to form this wondrous sound: something the lyrics could cling too, burst explosively from.

Like life itself, they grew. Twisting and turning, finding unusual crescendos, highs and lows. Emotions swelling, then soaring on the wings of the poetry within.

The sound engineers at the studio were amazed with how developed the songs were, and this time, they listened to Abby and I as we described the feel we were going for.

The madness began. The record label booked out the Powerstation for the album release. It was a free concert. They were going all out.

Klaus was now able to walk, Mum and Dad had returned to Westport and Mum was frantically working with DOC, filling out applications and permits for the wedding to take place. She had to use some connections she had with our tribe, Ngai Tahu, to bring some pressure to bear on DOC. She worked hard with Claudia to finalise things. The date was finally set for February the 20^th. We had four months.

Life couldn't have been busier. The new album release was big. This wasn't student radio, this was a full on campaign, with the new title track being released simultaneously in Australia, as well. The Powerstation gig promotions were huge, TV interviews on major platforms, radio interviews, there was nothing but rehearsals, Uni, helping at the restaurant when required and recording.

There was no way Mum and Dad were missing the album release. They arrived a few days before and the house went crazy. With Mum and Claudia back in the same room, all they wanted to talk about was the wedding. It drove me crazy, it seemed everywhere I turned there were bridal magazines, quotes from caterers, hotels, guest lists, permits, and of course, let's not forget the photographers, videographers.

All I wanted to focus on was the album release; even Uni was taking a back seat. Abby seemed able to switch off to the parents, but I wasn't like her, this stuff filled my brain. If it wasn't for her luscious body snuggled up against me at night, I would have been lost.

The pressure, as they say, was building. Maybe it was the expectation and anticipation that created the tension in the band as well. We were eager to perform the new material. Get real feedback. The label, however, wanted us to wait, let the tension build for the actual release. Locked in our little studio at the campus, we were wound up tighter than ever, little cracks appearing as our post-release tour schedule was developed. Brenda struggled the most. For the rest of us, it was easy. She, on the other hand, had a husband and child to look after and appease. Her hubby, who we'd met many times, was a nice guy, if a little insecure. He hated Brenda being on tour. I don't know why; Brenda never once gave him reason to doubt her. She loved him, warts and all.

It was too much for me. One Saturday, it just overwhelmed me. The band had been arguing. Mum had been pressurising me about the dress. Abby and her parents were having stressful discussions about family who they wanted to attend.

Everywhere I turned, there were people chasing me for something. On top of it all, I missed performing. It might sound vain, but performing is what it's all about: putting yourself out there, throwing everything you have into something and seeing what comes back. I bloody missed it.

It wasn't quite an argument, but there was friction. It got the better of me. I walked out to the van, reversed out the drive way and I was gone. Why, I don't know, but I ended up down at the Viaduct, down town. I got my gear out, and set up. The moment I started playing, all the anxiety and pressure lifted. With the easing mood, I let my voice soar. I played mostly covers and a small crowd gathered. A couple of skateboarders started breakdancing, and the crowd got into it.

I was in my element, all the other bullshit vanished and i played my heart out. It was amazing. I broke the rules, I stayed for two hours. The case collected some money, but that's not what this was about. I just wanted to play.

As my second hour was coming to an end, I glanced into the thinning crowd and there was Abby. I stopped playing and talked to some of the audience. She just stood to the back and watched. When they were all gone, she walked up and hugged me. "What are you doing?" she asked, confusion and frustration evident.

"It simply got to me. I'm sorry but all this stress, the album release, the tour, the wedding, Uni. I couldn't breathe. I had to get away."

She hugged me tighter. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I don't know. I felt guilty. Everybody has been trying to help. I know they aren't trying to make life difficult, but the weight of everything. It just weighed me down. Are you angry?"

She laughed softly. "No, why would I be? I get it. But please, don't bottle it up. Talk to me. Fuck, I would've loved to be down here with you. I know all those songs, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, course I know. Shit you taught me most of them. How did you find me?"

"I used the find my phone ap."

"Jesus, you could be a PI. I better be careful."

"You better invite me next time. That's what you better do."

I gave her a cheeky grin. "I was going to go up to Ponsonby next. You could come with."

She laughed. "Yeah, fuck it. Let's do it."

Ponsonby went off. With Abby playing tambourine and singing and dancing with me, the crowd went nuts. We actually got chased off by the cops.

Driving home, we held hands. Abby sighed blissfully. "Fuck that was fun. I'd forgotten that feeling. Bloody hell, I missed it."

"Yeah, me too. We have to do this again."

"Too bloody right," she shouted in agreement. Winding down her window, she stuck her head out into the afternoon traffic and screamed her head off.

It looked so liberating, I did the same. As we raced along the western motorway, we must have looked like a couple of crazy women.

At least all the pressure had been momentarily released.

When we arrived home, Mum and Klaus rushed out, concern etched into their faces.

"Tui, where were you? We were all so worried." She grabbed Abby, cuddled her tight. "Thank you for finding her."

"Mum, I was a little overwhelmed. I needed some space. I went busking. At the moment, I feel like everybody wants something from me. I have record label execs chasing me for more of this or that. At Uni, my professors are wanting more. We're trying to finalise the recording, and rehearsals. The tour details are huge. Then I get home and you and Claudia are all over me for wedding stuff. I just felt overloaded."

She dragged Abby and I into one of her magic hugs. "I'm sorry, dear. I didn't know. Why didn't you say something?"

"Because everybody's trying to help. I felt guilty complaining. You've been amazing, and I love that you want to be so involved in our wedding. I think once the tour is out of the way we can relax a bit, then maybe focus on the wedding."

"Sorry, babe." Abby said almost apologetically. "It's gonna get worse. I have talked to some of the label execs, as well, and they want us to undertake a short Aussie tour. It's gonna get worse before it gets better."

"Aw shit. Maybe we should postpone the wedding," I muttered in defeat.

"Tui, we have really worked hard to get DOC, and Ngai Tahu on board. We have only a tiny window. I don't want to put pressure on you."

"No, you're right, Mum. I just have to suck it up for a while."

Thankfully, one aspect was happening. The album release concert was upon us. We spent nearly the whole day at the Powerstation setting up the stage, doing sound checks, meeting with the promoters and label heads. They set up a small VIP area off to the side where our parents and band member's families could sit.

We, the band, decided to have dinner together to celebrate. It was a wonderful occasion, all the nervous anxiety evaporated as we talked about the set list and an encore. By the time we walked back into the venue, it was packed, and there were people lined up outside. Inside, the noise was cacophonous. You couldn't hear the people next to you. I spotted Mum, Dad, Claudia and Klaus. Abby and I both rushed over for hugs.

It was back stage to get changed and get ready.

We heard the announcement from the MC as the audience erupted, cheering, stomping their feet and clapping endlessly.

We held hands as we walked out on stage, the spotlights following and flashing brightly.

We all went to our instruments and prepared. We decided to start with 'My Life.' This was different, now we had the cello and I wanted it to stand out. With a nervous smile, Abby led into the intro, just her alone on the cello, the haunting resonant sounds echoing around the auditorium. There was silence; this was new for the crowd. They had never heard this version. As Abby worked deeper into the intro, Maeve joined on the violin, and the sounds amplified, the notes soaring as they played in unity.

I turned to Casey as she hit a fat crunchy bass note that echoed above the others. She held the note, the vibrations carried by feedback before she came back in with her fat bassline. Arty followed with the tuba, his notes long and overlapping, his melody overpowering.

Nigel's keys added that extra depth, lifting again, louder, resilient.

Brenda let her play one full verse before adding the ethereal drums. All of a sudden the crowd lifted, they were at the stage of the song they knew, and when my vocals cut through, it exploded.

The audience sang with me as Abby added her harmony. The noise it was unreal. The crowd carried us higher. Having Abby in the mix changed everything. She was such an incredibly talented musician she found things the rest of us missed, filled in gaps, elevated lyrics, and her harmony was heavenly.

As we moved into the set, she stood up and started dancing, the cello her partner. I was hypnotically drawn to her. We stood facing each other, our eyes closed as I riffed into my solo, and she echoed every note, the cello so deep and ethereal. We swayed together, our bodies in unison. It was magical, powerful. With our heads back like baying wolves, our eyes cast skywards. We sung like never before.

It was and amazing night. Everything we tried came off. It wasn't just Abby it was the whole band. We fed off each other. It was no shock when the screams rang loudly for an encore.

We walked back on stage, all holding hands, and I introduced everybody. When I introduced Abby, I couldn't help adding, "Oh, and by the way. We are engaged, she is soon going to be my wife."

The roar was ferocious, whistles, rollicking hand clapping. When Abby hugged me and we shared a little kiss, the place went ballistic.

It took hours to clear away the fans wanting their photo with the band and their signed version of the new album.

We were all exhausted when Mum, Dad, Claudia and Klaus finally managed to get to us.

Dad, who had obviously had a few whiskeys, was jubilant. "Wow, Tui, that was absolutely stunning."

"It wasn't just me, Dad, it was these guys, aren't they great?"

"Bloody hell, Lassie, they're better than that," he stated firmly. "You lot are amazing." He grabbed Abby and pulled her into a hug. The rest of the band were trying to get their breath back, sitting around having drinks.

Klaus was a little more reserved; he had, of course, seen us before. "Remarkable, girls. Wonderful show."

Mum hugged Abby and me together. There were tears in her eyes. "Whakamiharo taku aroha."

"Mihi ki a koe, mama."

Claudia joined our little group hug, and she was as equally amazed. "You girls, astounding."

Dad interrupted. "We're going to get going. Klaus's leg is pretty painful."

They disappeared, and the party started. The Powerstation was generous and delivered a whole bunch of drinks. We sat in the chill-out room laughing and joking about the show. Brenda had to go when her hubby turned up, and that sort of kickstarted the rest of us to get moving. It was the start of a frantic week, which was all we had to get ready for our NZ tour. It wasn't just the planning and packing, the organising and hours on the phone. Both Abby and I had assignments due that we were busting our arses to finish.

By the time we jumped in the tour bus, we were pretty well worn out. Still, once you step out on stage, the audience lifts you, and that was true of our shows. The crowds were amazing, and the record sales were much better than expected. We powered through the major cities and headed back to Auckland for two more booked out shows.