Everything for the Career Ch. 02

He seemed pleased by my answer.

"How long have you been working for the First Corporation Bank Jennifer?"

"Around 18 years now." I replied, without hesitation. Edwards seemed to shake his head in disappointment at that answer. His eyes kind of saddened at that answer.

"No Jenny, how long have you been really working in this bank?" he quizzed again.

"Well, 18 years" I said, more forcefully. "You know it Edwards. You got me in, remember?." I replied, wondering why he was asking this question when he already knew the answer.

He sighed, then asked again, "Jenny, let me put this another way. How long have you been working in my bank since you got your appointment letter from me?"

I was thoughtful. I never had thought of it this way.

"Well, if you put it that way, I'd say I'm in this bank for around 8 years after the appointment letter, I'd guess... but I was working with you for about 9-10 years before I got that appointment letter. So I'd say roughly around 18 years." I said again.

"Jenny, how old are you?" He asked, his tone still tinged with sadness.

"Me? I'm 32. Why?" I asked.

"Jenny, you worked with me for 18 years, and you are 32 years old. Can you not see the problem Jenny?" He asked sadly.

I could see things somewhere far off on the horizon. Things were a massive blur, but somewhere deep in my subconscious, there was a light coming on.

"Well...um.... Let me see" I was trying to calculate and find out if there was any hidden meanings in that question of his.

"14 years." He said simply, without waiting for me to reply. "If you are 32 years old, and have been working for me for 18 years, you would be employed in the bank when you were 14 years old Jenny." He said.

I swallowed as hard as I could. "But Edwards, you KNOW that I was working with you since I was 14, don't you?" I asked. It was true. I really started working at 14. Why was he denying that?

"Jenny," he said softly, "You were my friend's daughter. All you did in my bank before the appointment letter was 2 hours of fetching newspapers and magazines for the staff members. They treated you as their daughter. Nothing more." He added, remembering the time.

"Well, that's true, but I also helped you out on so many things other than 2 hours of delivering newspapers. I spoke with your staff, I helped them!" I said, my voice now raising.

"Yes, but simply as a friend. Speaking to cashiers after 2 hours of magazines does not qualify you as an employee. Jenny, I'd be sued by over a dozen organizations if I took someone in employment below 18 years!" He added.

"That's not fair Edwards! I told you I was like an employee since I was 14 years old. I studied, did my MBA but still worked for your bank at least 2 -3 hours every day." I screamed. "How can you forget that?"

"Jenny, allowing a friend's daughter to spend 2-3 hours at my bank does not qualify you as employee. You cannot use that as experience." He was egging me on. He was making me angry.

"You are ungrateful!" I shouted. "I worked with you for 18 years. That's it! Part time or full time or whatever. I WAS ASSOCIATED WITH FCB SINCE I WAS 14 YEARS OLD." I shouted again, almost close to tears for the third time.

"Jenny, why do you feel the need to say you worked for 18 years, when stating that you worked for 8 would actually be more accurate?". His words cut through me like a knife. I had enjoyed my work since I was 14 and here he was, asking me to be politically correct.

"Because I love this bank! And every day when I stayed here for 2 hours were the best in my life!! Because I would give anything for this bank you ungrateful bastard!!!!" I let go, sobbing and heaving. "YOU BASTARD!!" I screamed. "OH GOD!!!" I said and began crying.

Edwards pushed the pile of tissues towards my end of the table again.

"Jenny, why do you want to say you worked more years that you actually have. Why Jenny?" he asked.

I could not answer. Why did you love your mother? There was no answer. You just loved her. Similarly, whenever someone asked me a question when I joined FCB, my answer would always be 18 years. I loved that bank.

"Because I love FCB, Edwards. It's my life." I added. This time, I was positively bawling. Thankfully, he stopped asking question then.

When I had reasonable calmed down, Edwards asked me a question, that would forever change my image of myself.

"Even more than Arthur?" he asked softly.

I snapped up. What did he just ask?

"I asked," repeated Edwards, "do you love FCB more than Arthur?"

A chill went up my spine. I paused in mid-bawl. Something began telling me I was wrong from the start, but I could, only now, begin to see a shape to that.

"You see Jenny," continued Edwards slowly, "you love FCB so much, that you get upset when someone tells you, you have been working for fewer than 18 years. Why this unhealthy obsession with FCB Jenny?" He carried on.

"You met Arthur when you were 17 years and after a year of moving around you guys got married. But when someone asks you your marriage years, you INCLUDE the year of moving around." He added.

"Don't you see Jenny, you are having an unhealthy dose of commitment to everything you do. The word for that, Jenny, is called 'Obsession'." He said, finally.

And I slumped against my chair. So THAT was it!

THAT is why FCB got more share of my time, my life, my love. I was unhealthily committed, or obsessed, as Edwards called it, with the bank.

"It's true Jenny that whatever gives you happiness during childhood is forever etched in your memory as pleasant. In your case it was the bank. The bank gave you so much good memories Jenny, that you forgot to move on." Added Edwards sadly.

I looked at him stunned. My heart instinctively felt what he was telling was true. My God. MY GOD! What have I done to my life? What had I done to my Arthur? What had I done to my family?? The bank was my fountain of happiness. But why did I forget to move on?

My breath caught in my chest. It was as if someone tied me to the chair. I was hyper ventilating. Dear lord in heaven. What had I done?

In an instant, my entire married life flashed before me. The number of times I had denied Arthur, the number of times the bank got priority over him, the number of times I ignored him, the number of times I looked at fulfilling contracts while ignoring his needs. My god! I could not stand myself. A taste of bitter bile rose in my mouth. What had I done? How could I have been so blind?

"Jenny, can't you see what's happening?" He asked in a tone my father would have used on me when I committed a mistake that was too serious for him to get angry about. A tone when he would use when I was stubborn, unmoving and refusing to see reason.

"You have made FCB the focus of your life. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING gets between you and FCB. Solve problems? FCB First. Find out tastes and dislikes? FCB first. Priority? FCB first. Sick department or sick husband? Department first. Jenny, you have made a mess in your obsession with FCB." He said sadly.

But I was already zoned out of what Edwards was saying. He sounded so far off. It was like a dream.

All I was thinking while he went on talking was why did I not realize that I was obsessed with FCB and my career? Why did I not realize that while it was not necessary to sacrifice my career for my husband, it was also NOT necessary to sacrifice my husband for the job.

Why was I such a failure in my love life and such a success in my professional one? Were profession and love two scales? Tip one and the other is affected too? Just what had I done? And how could I have been so blind to it?

"..ny...jenny...JENNY!" screamed Edwards. My reverie was interrupted as I snapped back in this world and in on Edwards again.

"Jenny, are you OK? You seemed to faint. Your eyes were way up your sockets." he asked, a concern writ large on his face that only a father could have for his children.

"yes.. ye.. yeah! My God Yes. Edwards! What have I done? Just What the hell have I done to my life Edwards?" I screamed, looking at him beseechingly.

"Jenny, I hope that you see the light after what I explain..." he continued, but I interrupted him.

"Edwards, I think I got it. It's still hazy at the moment, but I get the idea. I understand where I have messed up. In fact Edwards, I think I have messed up in the last 15 years now.." I said as I got up to go.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To save my marriage. And make it up to Arthur. Edwards, I need your blessings today." I uttered.

"You have them child. You always did." He muttered, his eyes going all paternal on me.

I opened the door and rushed out off the office and the building.

I knew what had happened. I now wanted my Arthur back. And by god, I would make it up to him.