All Comments on 'Everything for the Career Ch. 03'

by HeavyHeartLaments

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  • 47 Comments
KOTKKOTKabout 15 years ago
I waited for this one.

Yeah it did took a long time but worth a wait. This story is really very good it focuses on the real problem mostly all couples face. Thank god it's got nothing to do with cheating. One thing I didn't like was Arthur having sex with prostitutes. Ok, everyone have their needs, sex is also a basic need like food, clothing & shelter but having it without any protection was like playing with fire. This story is quite different from others & I'm really very interested to know what will happen next. I think they will get together & Jennifer will do anything for Arthur. I can only request you to submit the next quickly. Hope you don't take too much time. Anyways a good story & thanks for sharing.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
Finish it then we will see.

Sorry stopped as soon as I saw three had to be continued. Another 2 years?

LazylonerLazylonerabout 15 years ago
horrible chapter stop

Terrible spot to stick in the chapter stop. You needed to have it either where Jennifer screams and faints or when Arthur realizes that she is outside the room screaming.

Instead you kept on and left the story hanging in the middle of the scene. Cliffhangers are nice, but they should fit the moment and you had a much better point for it just a short time before.

Interesting idea, but I want to see the ending before saying more.

Vulcan_in_OhioVulcan_in_Ohioabout 15 years ago
This story needs an injection of logic . . .

I have mixed feelings about this story. I had never read parts 1 and 2, so I went back and read those before reading this part. It might be nice if the author would indicate how many more parts are forthcoming because, as others have repeatedly said, there is concern about the gap between parts 2 and 3 and it seems pointless to begin reading a story and then to never know how things will turn out. Imagine a hot mystery thriller with the last 20 pages missing, and you only find out they are missing after reading everything up to that point. Frustrating, to say the least. General comments: This story was not badly written but there is a lot of repetition throughout. Jennifer keeps saying the same thing, over and over, about how she will make up for the 15 years of ignoring Arthur, she's going to change, etc. etc. I feel the repeated promises are over-done. The "18 years" working for the bank plus Jenny's age of 32 created a math problem at the elementary school level. I think it was creative that the author explained this when the bank CEO pointed out to Jenny that she was essentially delusional in thinking her time running errands at age 14 counted as working for the bank. But it was not totally convincing. How could a smart, capable, dedicated professional who reaches a vice-presidency be that far into denial? As for Arthur, well, his character is not well-developed considering that three chapters of this story are already over. I think it would have been better and more convincing for his character to have been equally developed (equal to Jennifer's) such that the reader could better understand his thinking. As things stand, there is absolutely no logic or consistency regarding his decision to fuck around with hookers, especially before his divorce is even filed. We are led to believe he is a very straight, honorable, and upstanding person based on how Jenny's parents and others speak about him; just because he is sad and depressed about the end of his marriage, it is simply not believable that he would do what he has done. And if he has been doing it for 5 days, then he began even before he announced to Jenny his plans to divorce her. If he could go 15 years without having his sexual needs met, it is more logical he would wait just a little bit longer until his divorce was completed, or at least filed and he was legally separated. In fact, if he is so down and defeated that he cares not for his appearance, has a flat voice with no emotion, basically feels dead to the world, then it is evident he has a severe depression and sex is the last thing a depressed person would pursue -- depression basically wipes out one's sex drive; trust me on this, it's true. So the author is now going to need to convince the readership that Arthur's actions have some consistency with both his character (what little we know of it, that is) and with believable reality. I mean, is this Arthur's way of committing suicide (exposing himself to HIV)? Is Arthur playing a game of making Jenny feel hatred towards him, so she won't fight the divorce? Did he leave a trail for Bernie so that Jennifer would stumble in on his debauchery, to hurt her back for the hurt he feels about her lack of caring about their marriage? Why don't we know anything of Arthur's parents, only Jenny's? Is his family dead or somehow out of the picture? "The Devil is in the details," or some such saying. Well, we the readers need more details in order to better understand and identify with the characters. Jennifer was not much of a sympathetic character to begin with -- it is really hard to feel sorry for her because she made her own bed must now lie in it, but Arthur has suddenly been made out to be a jerk and a bastard, so perhaps he deserves to be unhappy too. I feel the story needs two things in the way of improvement. Firstly, it would be best to write the entire story before submitting it. Giving us a part at a time is fine, allowing for minor revisions of other parts based on comments, but please don't delay too long between parts. Secondly, it feels as if this story is being made up as it goes, rather than having a tight plot and coherent characters with consistent behavior throughout. I don't think it is quite as good a writing technique to have a seemingly-contradictory set of circumstances and then to need a large portion of the subsequent chapter(s) to explain such contradictions to the readers (Jenny's 18 years of working for the bank, for example). It is really difficult to understand why Arthur would not seek counseling earlier in the marriage; I have the feeling he wimpishly put up with 15 years of unhappiness, said very little, and now he has lowered the boom all at once, again not very credible. Thanks for writing and please give us the rest of the story!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
You waited this long to post a chapter

And you posted something this fucking stupid? Thanks for wasting my time with this illogical horseshit.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
Seual?

this is supposed to be a sequal to the first two chapters? This is more of a non-sequitur than a sequal. No relationship between this chapter and the two preceding ones

the Ct. Yankee

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
I'm afraid

I am terribly afraid you screwed the pooch with this chapter. The first two were good, but this makes both characters pieces of shit and so who gives a crap what happens to them now? You can't save this now. You blew it.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
Damn!

The writing is great but I can't understand this last chapter. We go from a very understandable first couple of chapters to something WAY out in left field. It seems like our author has lost his idea of where this tale was going. I don't know, but it seems like two different tales trying to come together. Thanks for your efforts though...

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
Really don't care!

After reading this overly wordy, out of character chapter, I really do not care about the rest of the story. Whatever you had going, you blew it.

Harryin VAHarryin VAabout 15 years ago
Big swing and MISS!

The SUDDEN change in Arther' character and the intrusion of two sex workers / hookers into the story and having jennifer see "her" arther does NOT work.

<br></br>

Not even close. WHY? <b>Because this author never has Arthur tell us of the deep longer sexual frustration he has with his bone headed wife. IF that part of Arthur's agony had been developed THEN this chapter would of made sense.</b>

<br></br>

I know of plenty of men... some of them S.H.A.D.- stay at Hom Dads -- who have cheated and stepped out on their wives.

<br></br>

In EVERY case where the S.A.H.D. has stepped out on his wife...the wife has become too busy with her career and / or no longer feels attracted to a Man changing diapers or doing Laundry.

<br></br>

If One were to tell these stories the <b> MOST IMPORTANT part was NOT the Lakc of sex by the wife per se BUT that the wife's loss of sexual interest in her Husband... Her sexual rejection of her husband ... Meant something</b>.

<br></br>

The point is that none of this about Arthur is developed by this author.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
You remind me once what it felt like fainting ...

6 mo. ago I broke several ribs. I then caught pneumonia. I awoke one night with a coughing fit, re-broke my ribs. I thought it couldn't hurt any more then passed out, smashing my head on the floor. My wife woke me. I thought I was still in bed, and had accidently knocked her out of bed b/c she was on "my side". I didn't remember at first rebreaking my ribs and fainting. There was a total disconnect, kind of like with this story. Do not worry about writing any more, I no longer care! Jennifer is unbelievable. You don't go 15 years then turn into the milk sop you made her. Hubby is even worse. He is supposed to be a decent man, now you have him whoremongering and perverted. You lost me competely. too bad b/c you can write well. -ttom

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
your detractors are mostly correct...

The story had real potential, then it was as if YOU became bored with the story and just trashed it... :-(

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
a dream sequence?

ch 1 & 2 had a trend and a path, then the 3d. the hotel door was open? she wakes in a bed away from the hotel and there is arthur reading a newspaper? all is wounderful in the world?

striker1017striker1017over 14 years ago
enough of a wait

already. This is the fourth time I read the stories and I am still waiting for the next one.This is such a good story and it needs an ending!!! I've been waiting five months for the next chapter, and I'm reaching the end of my rope. C'mon, you can't leave us hanging like this. Please finish it???

Ducky7Ducky7over 14 years ago
Good story, well written

but it will take forever to complete at this pace. I seems that the outcome is the next on the agenda. I do know some people with this problem. Always at work and never at home. Thanks for the story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Interesting...

I've enjoyed the first and second chapters, though in all honesty the third chapter here seems a bit contrived. Mostly the part of Arthur hooking up with prostitutes. Multiples at that.

I do like the portrayal of the guilt, and the other commenters idea of this third chapter being more of a "dream sequence" as opposed to main storyline. But my big gripe here is that we don't know when or how the story might conclude.

Dear Writer, cliffhangers are dangerous things! Leave a story at such a point too long, and even devout followers of your story won't bother to come and read an update; they'll of moved on!

But mainly I also see that you've written yourself into a wall; as it would seem the likely conclusion that Arthur would justly demand she quit her bank position, or at the very least scale back; that's assuming you have his 'forgive' her... You just have more of a plot here than a simple "DIVORCE HER NOW!" kinda' story, which is what makes this one very Interesting...

Thanks.

fern501fern501over 14 years ago
How did Mr. Thacher feel about Maggie and Ronnie..

Agreed chapter three was kind of weird as opposed to 1 & 2 but it is a story made to entertain and nothing else.

I made a comment after the second chapter I believe, but all the other comments were dated 2007.

The story was good enough for me to think about things, life, philosophy, history, what we are and what will come us.

The mistakes we see in the others are imbedded in ourselves.

I call it "the human factor", man like ants will survive a lot so there is still hope.

Maybe we'll have a fourth installment by 2010, that'll be the year people may vote against prop8 in California, will this change anything? Nope, the human factor will remain.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
I reread this and to some degree enjoyed it again

both of the main characters are basically idiots. However, it says it will be continued and eight months later it still hasnt. Did the writer leave Lit, suffer and epiphany, and just drop over like the shit for brains wife in this story?

lgreenlgreenover 14 years ago
Still Waiting

I think it is a story with a very good flow. However, will it be another 2-3 years before the story is continued/finished?

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
What Crap

Stop this immediately. Your story line is all over the board. This needs to be withdrawn and a major re editing done to it. Your characters all seem to be psychotic. You write emotional bullshit. Obviously you never intend to finish this story so treat the uninformed reader properly and just delete this trash. Accept the fact that your desire to write far exceeds your skills. anon jerry

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
leave and go w/o her

there is this need she felt to get the success and her renunciation of it all? ambition and selfishness don't leave that easily. it was the proper decision to go part from her, and look at the options he was made aware of through ramon.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Looks like most readers

don't want this story finished, given the trashing they gave this author. It's been over two years now since chapter 1.<p>This is a different read from the norm, started out with divorce pending not because of cheating but of wife neglect, but surprising enough this chapter introduced infidelity. Can't figure out why but am willing to read a continuation to find out.<p>Author, the most irritating beef I have with you is not your story, but the way you stretched it out over years. Had to read it from the beginning just to remember the story line. If you can't submit a story complete why do you bother even writing it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Let's see now

she ignores him for 15 years, only starting to clue in after she gets served, then proceeds to wonder why he can bang two hookers when she's his "wife"? And it's now HIS fault, and now she's "re-evaluating"? What a fucking stupid woman. If she had done her job in the first place he'd be banging HER ass instead of a hookers. Looking forward to the next chapter.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
when will u complete it?

man will u take another 10 years to complete this story.plz submit the conclusion.waiting eagerly for the end.

mwoody2950mwoody2950over 14 years ago
Buck up man, finish it

Quite the story. Just guessing, you haven't finished because you've become lost in how you want it to end.

Interestingly for me is that my wife is a banking senior VP, overseeing the entire chain. She started with a high school education and has done it the hard way. I'm her everything, I'm her armor. We've been married for 27 years. Early in our marriage we joked that we hoped that one of us would make it to the top. Well it was her and I have helped her every step, dedicating myself to her success. She loves me dearly. She isn't a hard core executive type, more of a wife and mom with a gift for understanding people and banking. She has never taken a college course.

Oh, the president of the bank tried to bed her for maybe ten years and would not promote her. Finally after his 5th DUI and his own son killed a kid on a bike while drinking the board fired him. My wife was promoted 3 times over 5 years to senior VP after his dismissal and a new president was found. I'm guessing she will become an executive VP in the next five years. She is currently 49 years old, 5'5", blond, 130 lb.

What's interesting also is that I'm basically blue collar/middle management. I've been layed off twice in the last nine years and wonder if my wife is going dump me some day. Funny, she wonders the same thing about me some times, meaning we are crazy about each other and can't imagine our journey with out being by each others side.

Finish the frigging story, I'm so worried you are going to wait so long that I'll forget you and never find it again.

Tail End PeteTail End Petealmost 14 years ago
okay...

A 2 year hiatus before she finds him in the hotel, and that was over a year ago. So, how much longer do we wait for you to finish this stale biscuit?

Totally good story deserving the 5, just the wait inbetween times....

lgreenlgreenalmost 14 years ago
Started as a great story

This started as a great story but I now find that the author just wasted my time. With so long between chapters, I forgot where it started and will never know how it ends. Apparently the author also forgot how/when it was supposed to end. I definitely do not want to read whatever he may come up with in another two years or so!

0649d0649dover 13 years ago

"Dear lord, he had spilled his seed inside her ass!" - cracks me up!

I would not be interested in sodomy but anal play with fingers or ice or whatever is fun

bruce22bruce22over 13 years ago
Luckily I only fond the story today

so I have six instant chapter. I agree that doing two prostitutes for five days was not an option in the initial Arthur. But it is your story and I will read it because it is well written!

DWornockDWornockover 12 years ago
1*

Near worthless ch.

UndrApprctdUndrApprctdabout 12 years ago
Hard to justify his cheating before divorce

Not to mention exposure to disease.

betrayedbylovebetrayedbyloveover 11 years ago
Arthur's First Mistake

Because he waited so long to reveal his feelings to Jenny the first time he sought other female companionship he was caught. If he would have talked to her before, and I mean maybe five years before, he would not have become a cheating asshole. I don't see a happy ending. We'll continue...

Drbeamer3333Drbeamer3333over 10 years ago
Enjoying it

A very odd turn of events. I am not sure the husband character has been developed enough for his actions to come across as justifiable. I'm not liking him very much at this point.

connoisseur29connoisseur29about 10 years ago
****

It's getting better. Good ol' Artie's got some gonads at last. The thlot pickens. Cheers!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Arthur is having bad sex with his wife and then opens the hotel door and books some prostitutes?

What an unbelievably jumbled piece of writing this is.

Tim413413Tim413413almost 10 years ago
This author needed an editor.

Not necessarily for spelling, punctuation, etc., but for "big picture" items like story flow, inconsistencies between and within chapters. For example: A had never been separated from J for this long. What had it been - five days? He recalls, two paragraphs later, when she had been in Philippines for a month.

kdcee79kdcee79over 9 years ago
A good editor urgently needed

I heartily agree with a previous commentator that you need an editor to improve the overall story. A good plot but you're spoiling it by your haphazard & weird style of writing. In one paragraph in this chapter you finished it with 3 short sentences when it should have only been 1; it would have improved the meaning & flow . Just small things but they distract from the enjoyment of this tale. Also if you start a sentence with " and" or " but '' then it means the 2nd part should be added to the first to make a longer & hopefully better sentence. English writing skills. 3 ***

kdcee79kdcee79over 9 years ago
Just a thought

I'm not sure where this story is supposed to be taking place, but, I can not believe in this day of supposed enlightenment that any " professional " ladies of the night would undertake unprotected sex. Unrealistic, mate.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
please!

really? years of mercy fucks? 6 months without? and all that time he did nothing to try to fix his marriage?

Drbeamer3333Drbeamer3333almost 8 years ago
Second time through...

Thanks for the offering. Quickly losing interest.

ErotFanErotFanover 7 years ago
I'm not losing interest

I want to hear Arthur's story. This should be good!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
5* You go big guy!!!!

His ego-centric, unfeeling wife mostly cut him off from sex for 15 years. He divorves and now is getting ass, mouth, and pussy from quality pros. He better be bonking them everyday to make up time. To hell with the wife!

danoctoberdanoctoberover 5 years ago
So...

Now the couple is truly in deep trouble.

26thNC26thNCover 4 years ago
He some

Well, old Bernie has put a boot in her ass now. Maybe that will wake her up. I hate the name Bernie, I'm going to think of him as Barney now.

Schwanze1Schwanze1about 3 years ago

She will "let him fuck her for the rest of" whatever? How about she's looking forward to fucking him? A hard no on the duty fuck.

And then it got weird.

bobareenobobareenoabout 2 years ago

I’m done. Don’t give a rat’s ass about Jennifer or Arthur. I’ll hope they were both hit by a bus.

HighBrowHighBrowabout 1 year ago

I’m done, too. bestrode?!

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