Everything I'm Not

The biggest surprise of the day came when I got a call from Charles Jasper 'CJ' Johnson, the President, CEO, and principal stockholder of our bank. He was also my great great uncle.

"Susan, how are you? I understand congratulations are in order. I've actually met your intended, back when he was still married to your cousin. Good man, lots of character. I'd be willing to bet he's going to make you very happy. I expect an invitation, my wife has always been fond of Eric. Do you know he ships her produce on a regular basis? He started when he found out she had a lot of allergies, many from the chemicals used to treat our foods. It's helped her tremendously. Stubborn fellow won't take a dime. Glad we get to keep him in the family."

When he finally ran out of breath I managed to stammer out a thank you.

"You're welcome, child. Also, I want to thank you for your efforts. The forgiveness program you helped develop has paid great dividends. Our foreclosure rate is now one of the lowest in the country, and the ones we end up getting back are usually in much better shape. There was even talk of moving you back with us, but I doubt that will happen now, one of the pitfalls of marrying a farmer. I'm sure you think it will be worth it. Goodbye child, and keep up the good work."

And just like that, he was gone.

Word spread of the call, he talked to my direct boss and the branch manager, also a great nephew. And he sent an email to all our branches, praising my work and wishing me well, mentioning the engagement.

People seemed to be looking at me with different eyes. My life was perfect. I had a great job, the man of my dreams, nothing could destroy my happiness.

Right?

I can't say that I was shocked to see Mona at the conference. I had heard that she was allowed back as some sort of a reward for reporting a scam run by Dick and some Inuit tycoon.

I was showing Betty pictures of Jackie. I was gushing about our "little girl" when Mona came over.

"Susan! How are you?" she said. "I understand congratulations are in order. I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. You have a little girl? May I see the pictures?"

Betty stiffened. Everyone knew Mona was back, but she worked on a different floor in a different branch. Still we were bound to cross paths sooner or later. Betty stepped back, waiting for the fireworks to erupt.

I was taken aback for a second, but soon I was grinning. "Hi, Mona. I heard you were back. I should have popped down to say hello, but the job has me jumping, and between it and planning a wedding, I've been kind of busy. Here you go. This is Jackie, the other love of my life. Isn't she cute?"

Mona stiffened at the mention of the wedding, but she looked down, surprised to see a small dog, sitting on a red pillow. She was flawlessly groomed, with a red sweater and red bows on her ears. She even had her toenails painted red.

I scrolled down, and there he was. Eric, sitting on a chair with the dog in his lap, while I perched on the arm. Eric was wearing a grey suit with a red tie, and I had on a very nice red dress. One of his hands was on the dog, and the other was firmly clasped around my waist. We were beaming. "Can you believe I talked him into posing for this? It's gonna be our Christmas card this year."

Mona faltered for just a second. I was sure that she was regretting what she could have had. As she handed the phone back, she congratulated me.

"He's a good man, Susan. Don't make the mistakes I did."

I was about to say something along the lines that I would never betray him, but the sadness in her voice stopped me. "Thank you, Mona. I'll do my best to deserve his love." To lighten the mood, I showed Mona my ring.

"My God!" she said. "That thing must have cost a fortune. Farming must really be going well."

I grinned, reading her expression as easily as a newspaper. "Oh, he makes a living. Are you enjoying being back? We all heard about all the unpleasantness at your last location. Good for you for putting yourself and the company first. I wish you all the best, Mona. Really. If you're staying, maybe you can find someone new, someone to treat you right. We all need that, don't we?"

I didn't wait for a reply, and walked off, already talking to Betty about our honeymoon plans. "I told Eric he was absolutely not going to spend that much on the honeymoon. Just went in one ear and out the other. Then again, all I said while we were watching a travelogue that those Greek islands were really pretty, and BOOM!, he's booking Greece for our honeymoon. Maybe me telling him that most all of the beaches were topless had a little to do with it." We were both giggling as we turned the corner.

Eric grinned when I told him I'd run into Mona during the day. "How is the bi... er, how is she?"

I playfully punched his arm. "Let it go. Look on the bright side, every ounce of hurt she caused led you to me, where you should have been all along. You ought to send her a thank you note."

He grinned, grabbing my hand and kissed it. "Not a bad idea, babes. Reckon she'll appreciate it?"

"Don't you dare! Leave her alone. She has to deal with the fact that every time she sees us that she lost and I won. Isn't that punishment enough?"

By then I had slid into his lap and was nibbling on his neck. "You're right, as usual. Now, tell me again how lucky I am."

I looked up, lust and love in equal measure in my eyes. "Why don't I show you instead?"

Jackie heard us, and while she couldn't understand the words, she knew the tone. She would be in her crate for most of the night.

Without even trying we were the golden couple in this town. Eric was rising in importance, the Feast In The Field was such a success he was offered positions on other committees. He talked every offer over with me, and helped on two. There was a grassroots movement to talk him into a County Commissioner run. I don't want to brag, but I seemed to have the Midas touch on my projects, completing everything I was given to the best of my ability, usually with very good results. I was also offered a few committee positions, and the CEO of the branch was pushing me to accept as many as possible, hoping the bank would get benefits from good press and my networking. Eric and I picked the same two, and did very well. The community was starting to notice us, and we were often pictured at social events, together and separately, cementing our status as a local power couple.

The truth was neither of us cared about our place in the spotlight. We had chosen the committees we served on carefully, believing they were the most likely to succeed and benefit the causes they sponsored. Many farmers, big ones as well as the smaller ones, consulted Eric on all sorts of matters, including the local political scene. There was a new County Commissioner who was very active in trying to rezone several areas, turning them into industrial sites, with the intent to destroy the farms through eminent domain, forcing them to sell.

Eric did his homework, consulted me for my insight, and appeared before the Commission. It took him three months to get on the list to address the Commission, and only then because he speculated in the newspaper why he was being denied his right to speak. The room was packed and tension was high when he strode to the podium.

His speech was eloquent, impassioned, and well-reasoned. He talked of destroying their heritage, pointing out that some of the land affected had been in the same family since the early eighteen hundreds. He talked of the negative impact it would have on the environment of the county, destroying green spaces and replacing them with asphalt and concrete. He told them though the jobs displaced were few, they were important. He even brought out a ninety-three-year-old woman, who talked about the rich history of her farm, the contributions it made in both world wars, and how even now some of the produce they sold went to firms who supplied the military.

There were television and newspaper reporters present. The Commissioner who was pushing rezoning realized this could be a major setback, and the promised fees from the companies wanting the land were in danger, and fought back.

"These things are all well and good, Mr. Summers. I agree heritage is important. But you must understand, this is for the greater good. Think of the jobs that will be created if these new companies are allowed to build."

"All true things, Commissioner, but let me ask you something. The new Industrial Complex the county has already spent tens of millions on, is it at full capacity? Is it not, in fact, only half full? Why don't the new companies go there? There are empty buildings I'm sure that would suit their needs, ready access to the interstates, low taxes, and an ample workforce to draw employees from. Wouldn't it make more sense for them to look there first? If they did need more room, there is still a hundred and fifty acres not developed. They could expand into all of it, if necessary, and the water, sewage, and power supply is already in place. The land you want to condemn is remote, the roads would have to be widened, all the before mentioned services would have to be run or expanded. Lives would be disrupted for months as construction took place. Seriously, sir, it seems you are favoring outside business concerns over the residents of the county."

There were quite a few cheers when he finished, as well as a few jeers when the Commissioner spoke. "All valid points, sir. However, we think the new site would better suit the needs of the business, and continue to pursue rezoning."

The crowd got angry. The new Commissioner was a recent resident, moving down from New Jersey ten years ago. He was raised in a political family, and was used to seeing graft and corruption at every level in his hometown. He had planned well, made the right friends, established a presence in the community, laid all his plans carefully. Still, he lost the first two times he had run, and won by only five percent when he finally succeeded. Chants of "Yankee Go Home" began, infuriating him. He opened his mouth and spoke before his filters kicked in.

"That's enough! Respect your betters! I'm going to bring this county forward if I have to displace every redneck in it. Deal with it."

The other Commissioners looked on horrified at the outburst. He may as well have climbed on the table and taken a dump right in front of them.

The Head of the Commission rapped his gavel, quieting the crowd. "I remind those present to behave with decorum, even if you are rednecks I'm sure your mommas raised you to be respectful. And you, Mr. Cappelli, need I remind you of the rules of behavior in this room? I will also add this to what has been said tonight. Our esteemed colleague is entitled to his beliefs, but he is not the whole Commission. This matter will be debated in public and private, and public hearings will be held to gauge the want of the people. Mr. Summers, thank you for your input. It has given us things to consider when making our decision. This meeting is adjourned."

The people filed out, mumbling, venting their feelings.

*****

I was never prouder of Eric. He presented a strong, reasoned argument, never grew angry, never responded in any negative manner at all. The television crews had followed him as he left the room and walked outside, to see almost a hundred people waiting for him. They erupted into cheers, and handshakes, hugs, and back pats were plentiful. The reporters asked him a few questions and let him make a statement.

"I feel good at what was accomplished tonight. We may have opened the Board's eyes on a few things. I'm just sorry it devolved into name-calling. In fact," he said grinning, pulling me to his side, "I happened to be downright loving when it comes to some Yankees." He gave me a little kiss before letting me go and getting serious.

"Mr. Cappelli should want what we all want, the best thing for the people of this county. I happen to think on this particular issue he may not be wrong, but I don't think he has enough information to make a reasoned decision. It was our purpose to give him that information. I hope he makes the correct decision. Goodnight."

It was a quiet ride home. In fact we didn't speak until we were getting ready for bed. I looked at Jackie and grinned. "Sorry, girl, but Daddy did a very good thing tonight, and he needs to be rewarded. I'll let you out in an hour." I took his hand and led him to the bedroom before giggling. "Maybe two," I said, as I closed the door.

*****

Betty and my boss were all over me the next day.

"We saw you and your honey on TV last night. If Eric ever ran for office, he could win it on the redneck vote alone." Betty was gushing, she was so excited.

My boss Hank had a more serious look in his eyes. "We need to talk," he said, as he closed the door.

"All right, here it is. The consortium that wants the property rezoned approached us last week. They want to secure financing through us. It's a very lucrative deal, but I have reservations. Here's your assignment. I want you girls to take a meeting with them, get a feel for whether you think they're good prospects. While you do that I'll get a couple of people together and do a little digging myself. Ah, here they are now."

Two men walked into the room and my eyes went wide. One was a lawyer famous in the company, the other their top forensic accountant. I began to get a very bad feeling. Betty and I greeted them before fleeing into my office.

"Wow," said Betty, sighing. "The big dogs. This company may not be on the up and up. We better tread softly here, Suz."

We met in a conference room two days later. Betty took one look at their point man and immediately disliked him, his thick Jersey accent grating on her nerves. If possible, I thought even less of both, but listened politely as they made their spiel. When they finished they grinned, expecting us to be awed. They were disappointed.

"Well, it looks like you're going to be spending quite a bit of money on this project. I see you have it listed as disposal and recycle, when in fact you'll be handling quite a bit of hazardous waste. Don't you think the area is a little too densely populated for this sort of thing?"

Their smile slipped a little. "Possibly," said the leader with an amused grin, "but we've found in the past that when people find out what we do they can't sell fast enough. Of course, it will impact the price quite a bit, and we'll get the surrounding properties for a song."

"What about litigation?" said Betty. "When people find out what you're planning, won't they take legal action?"

They had stopped smiling. "Usually, by the time people find out, it's too late. Relax. We've done this a few times, and that's where you guys come in. We need you to spin this as a good thing for the community, more and better jobs, how safe it is, that sort of thing."

I must have let a bit of my feelings show, because the front man was on me immediately. "You don't approve?"

Watching my words, I gave a neutral reply. "I don't have enough information to give an opinion. Yet. But I'm marrying a farmer, and I'm picturing his reaction when I tell him."

"You won't tell him!"

It made us jump, it was said very harshly. "Part of our requirement in negotiating with your bank is total confidentiality. You can't tell a soul what we've discussed, and that especially includes your redneck farmer."

Something in the way he said it set off bells. "Are you any relation to Vito Cappelli?"

The man grinned. "Cousin Vito? Not at all. As far as you know."

It took all my willpower to shake their hands when they left. In fact, I went straight to the restroom and washed them before they were off the elevator.

*****

We met the next day, and it was a very somber group. My boss got right to it. "Thoughts?"

"This whole thing smells, cousin. Those guys made us very nervous. If they get the zoning, it will destroy at least three neighborhoods, possibly five. And those guys were a little too arrogant. Did you know at least one of them is related to Vito Cappelli? They act like it's a done deal, but from what Eric told me the commissioners are leaning away from it."

Hank had his own frown. "Something is going on we're not aware of yet. It's being pushed hard by the commercial section, they want it done as quickly as possible, once the zoning is done. I talked to Dan and Bob this morning, and they didn't have anything good to say. Seems the group has mob ties, and were basically run out of New Jersey by some crusading ADA. An ADA that was later found dead in his car, an apparent suicide. They have three other locations, and they're all in the midst of some litigation or another. My advice to our bosses will be to distance ourselves as much as possible. Let some other bank handle it, and live with the fallout and bad press. Agreed?"

We couldn't nod fast enough. "Right. As soon as Bob and Dan finish, I'm kicking it upstairs with the recommendation we politely refuse."

I thought it would stop there, and was stunned when I was summoned, along with Hank, Betty, Bob, and Dan, to a meeting with the regional director.

We were stunned to see Vito Cappelli and his cronies, and surprisingly, Mona and her boss. They had apparently just concluded their meeting with the director, and left with smug smiles.

The meeting was a disaster. The regional director was determined to go forward, despite warnings from all involved. I thought about it as the others debated, sometimes pretty sharply. I looked into my soul, and knew I could never look Eric in the eye again if I was forced to go along, and I knew I would never be able to keep it a secret from him. He had questioned me about my mood last night, and I sadly told him sometimes my job required me to interact with people I didn't particularly care for, and it always upset me. He responded by cuddling me in the massive rocker a friend had built for him from an oak on Eric's property. He quietly told me if it got too much, I should quit, even though I loved my job. With what he was making we could still live very comfortably, or, he suggested, I could open my own office, and control who I had to work with.

All this was running through my mind when the regional director looked straight at me. "I expect everyone to do their job here. Am I clear?"

Not trusting myself to speak, I only nodded.

*****

I went back to the office, looking at the accolades on my walls, the picture of Eric and me taken at the Feast In The Field. It was taken right after he proposed, while I was on his knee kissing him.

It hardened my resolve, and I drafted an email. My fingers hovered over the send button for a second, before pressing it firmly.

"It is with regret that I am submitting my resignation. I have enjoyed my time here immensely, and will miss it and the people I work with, but sometimes you have to make hard decisions. This was one of the hardest I've ever made, but it is for the best."

I went on to say I would remain for a month, to help train my replacement, but my decision was final. In it, I also said that while I was willing to stay, I would not work with the consortium in any capacity. If I was forced, I would leave immediately.

I went home, both happy and sad with my decision. Eric knew immediately something was wrong, so he cuddled me in the rocker and told me to let it out. I broke down in tears, and he just rocked and petted me until I regained control.

I turned and gave him a desperate kiss. It scared him a little, and he asked what got me in the mood I was in.

"I quit my job today, honey. They wanted me to do something I found so repulsive I couldn't do it, so I resigned. Looks like I'll be just a farmer's wife for a while. Please don't ask for details, I'm bound by a confidentiality clause and can't tell you. Just know I love you, and I could have never looked you in the eye again if I had continued."