All Comments on 'Exchanged'

Writing a conversation in a single paragraph is confusing. Break up each character’s statement into separate paragraphs for more clarity in your writing.

What a beautifully tender gentle sexual encounter, so slow-moving made it extremely erotic and a delight to read.

Robertodavo.

Oh my you made me cry. It was so extraordinary. You made me remember my first lover, so long ago. She was from Finland, such a beautiful country, she was so unlike me. Tall, thin, beautiful, funny, popular and her laugh made me feel soooo wonderful. I will never know why she picked me, I was totally opposite her, unpopular, dealing with acne, I felt ugly and so fat. I really was not fat, just inherited my mothers body, all boobs, thick waist and fat butt. She befriended me for reasons I can not imagine, she pursued me after some girls were crueler than usual. She helped me with makeup my clothes, my posture, even my skin care. Mom died when I was little and I was the only girl in 3 boys, dad loved me but he was a farmer and there was no money for dermatologists which she told me her mother was in Finland, she secretly got me on birth control (a sin) and my skin immediately cleared up like a miracle. Over the summer we walked then road bikes, then swam, I did not realize she was getting me to exercise not just hide, when school started again no one knew who I was, my hair was done, I was wearing makeup, I was a different girl. But not for her, somewhere I fell in love with her. I know when it was, it was just a month before she was to leave, we were swimming at the lake, it was cold in the water, we got out of our suits, it was harvest time and dad and the boys were working but I got away for a weekend. She sat with me by the fire, I was shivering and she had me sit down near her and I shivered more, I guess you can figure out what happened next. It was and is the most beautiful night of my life, we made love over and over and I don't know that we ever stopped. I wish we could never have stopped. 40 years on and I still remember her lips and how her breath tasted on my tongue. I would give anything to relive that night, God forgive me, even my husband and my children, to just go back and stop her leaving. I was afraid I was a lesbian and back then homosexuals usually had hunting accidents or some such thing. To this day being a homosexual will get you kicked out of your family never to see them again under any circumstances, your name stricken from church roles and remover from the family tree as if you never existed, they will swear you ever existed even to the government. Homosexuality is a mortal sin. I loved my family, and I was terrified of what that meant for me. I never should have let her go, I don't know what I could have done to keep her with me, she was 18, I was 17, of course she had to go home at the end of the year but I would have loved to try or at least go with her.

Mmmm lovely.

"For over a minute, our tongues dance a messy routine amongst our open mouths, one that only tongues know."

I love this line! Only "amonst" should be "between". The rule is: amongst for more than two, between for two.

It was alovely story that quicly had me horny.mit was great to find another lover of fresh, sweet juice a particular thing of mine. It was essy to imagine each progression to the ached for release. I really loved this tale.