Exploring Feelings Ch. 03

"Just this one more time," squealed Amy. "Then we can move on with our lives."

"Yeah sure," said Chris, unconvincingly, as he frantically worked to free Amy from her pretty dress. Amy was working equally hard on his pesky belt buckle...the task made harder by the fact that neither could pull away from each other's mouths.

Finally garments were removed and Chris laid Amy on the bed in her bra and panties. If this was the last time (and Chris was increasingly becoming convinced it wouldn't be), he wanted to savor it, savor her beautiful body. In turn, Amy almost felt drunk at the hungry way Chris was looking at her. No man had ever looked at that way, and her heart sped up on seeing it again.

"Oh, please Chris, I need to feel you again, don't tease me," begged Amy.

Chris said nothing, instead ripping her panties off and going down on her like a parched man in the desert. He knew exactly where to touch her, to lick her, and within moments Amy was steam rolling to a powerful orgasm. Oh how she missed this!

"Oh baby, I'm gonna cum so hard, don't stop, don't stop...YESSSSSS!"

Chris continued licking her lovingly for a time, and then moved up to focus his attentions on her breasts, taking off her bra. As always, the sight of her freckles drove him wild. He paid lavish attention on both nipples, teasing them to full erection...if he did it any longer Amy was convinced she'd cum again, but right now she wanted to return the favor.

"I want your cock in my mouth," she cried. Chris didn't need to be asked twice and pulled himself up the bed into Amy's waiting and eager mouth. She sucked lovingly behind the head, then took long licks up and down his shaft, driving him wild. He was about ready to cum when he stopped her. There was only one place he really wanted to finish, the only place he ever wanted to with Amy.

Though she first looked at him questioningly, she quickly knew what he wanted before he even said it.

"I need to blow my load in your sweet pussy, Amy," he grunted. "Get ready, it's gonna be a big one."

"Oh yes, I need it too," said Amy delightedly. In the back of her mind she couldn't believe she was here again, with this man, especially given tomorrow's events. But at this moment, there was no place she wanted to be more.

Chris could wait no longer, and positioned himself at Amy's wet entrance. He slowly parted her delicate folds, almost to savor it, then pushed in to begin a dance both of them were intimately familiar with. He pushed his entire length then began with long slow strokes and deep tender kisses. But both of them needed a faster tempo, and in no time Chris was rapidly approaching a second gear as they both moaned in delight.

"Yes, faster that's what I need...it feels so good, so deep," exclaimed Amy.

"Your pussy feels better than ever, so tight," replied Chris.

Amy locked her legs around Chris's ass, as he strove to drive her deep into the mattress. The room became filled with the sounds of squeaking bedsprings and the moaning voices of two people reaching the heights of pleasure. Soon, Chris felt that familiar tingling and tightening in his groin, and began to savor the precious moments before the much needed and inevitable release of pressure.

"Oh Amy, I'm gonna cum I can feel it," groaned Chris.

"Me too, I'm there baby, fill my pussy with your cum!" cried Amy as she fell off her own cliff into a wave of pleasure.

"Oh yeah, oh yeah, OH AMYYYYY!" exulted Chris as he pumped one last time into her and roared as he unleashed what felt like about 18 months of pent-up cum into Amy's exquisite snatch.

"YESSS," squealed Amy as she felt Chris' molten cum bathe her insides. Oh how she had missed that feeling!

As Chris finished his last jet of semen, he rolled over next to Amy to catch his breath, and his thoughts. Three hours ago he had been at her rehearsal dinner, and she was marrying his best friend tomorrow. But right now, he had just unloaded the contents of his balls into her, and nothing ever felt more right.

Amy was also full of conflicting emotions. Deep down, she knew when she came here that this was a possibility, but nothing prepared her for the feelings it brought up. Euphoria, satisfaction, and now guilt. She was less than 24 hours from being Mrs. Brian Harris, and here she was in a hotel room filled with his best man's cum.

"I can't believe this happened again," said Amy quietly. "I thought we had stopped this."

"It just happens, we can't explain it," said Chris. "We buried all those feelings, and they just resurfaced in an instant. But what does it mean?"

"It can't mean anything. It was great sex, but I'm marrying Brian tomorrow," said Amy, as if trying to convince herself. "I just got freaked out about Brian's job, and did the one thing that helped me through it last time."

Chris was not so sure that was it, but he also knew he couldn't be the one to end Brian's wedding. That humiliation would be too much for anyone to endure.

"You're still marrying him tomorrow," Chris forced himself to say. "Whatever this is between us, we need to figure out, but it can't be at his expense. Neither of us wants that."

"No, I still love him, I know it's hard to believe when I'm here with you, but I do. Maybe I should go now before my parents wonder where I am," said Amy as she got up to put her dress on.

"Take a shower first," offered Chris. "And for what it's worth, Brian read a little too much into what I said about Liz. She's great, and I could see myself marrying her someday soon, but I wasn't planning on proposing tomorrow."

"Oh," Amy said with (some) relief. "Well, when it's right you'll know. Forget what I said about Eliz...Liz, I'm sure she can make you very happy."

"Yeah, I think so too," said Chris. As Amy went into the bathroom, Chris began to think about Liz. She was great, and he was falling in love with her. She was beautiful, smart, funny, a great listener and sounding board. Their sex was different than it was with Amy, more loving and tender than fast and passionate, but he'd come to love that as well.

But could he ever give her his full heart when another woman had a piece of...something within him? He didn't know exactly what it was that Amy had, but he knew he couldn't give it up either, at least not yet.

As the shower began to run, he realized he needed her again, right now. As soon as he opened the curtain, Amy smiled at him, as if his joining her was inevitable. Soon she was pushed against the wall as Chris sought to undo all her efforts to wash up in the past few minutes. Soon enough both were groaning in delight as Chris dumped his second load of the night deep into Amy.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Amy said after dressing. "As strange as this sounds, this helped me. But we should talk again when I get back. We can't keep doing this and risk getting caught."

"I know," said Chris, but he knew now this was not ending when Amy got back. She was about to marry Brian, and he may marry Liz one day, but there was something powerful between them, and tonight both of them realized it was probably impossible to stop. So Chris quickly discussed a plan.

"Maybe we can figure out a way to make this work so it doesn't affect our relationships. Maybe we take breaks if things get too intense. But I don't see how we can give this up completely. I don't want to, and I don't think you do either."

"I don't think I can either," Amy admitted. "But we have to figure something out. Goodnight, Chris." With that Amy kissed him one last time and left his room.

Now that Amy was gone, and his desires met, Chris began to think about the situation. Why did this turn him on so god damn much, cheating with a taken woman, on the night before her wedding no less? Just thinking about that alone was getting him hard again. Why did he enjoy cuckolding the man who he felt was his best friend?

He knew about the cuckolding fantasy, or at least what he thought it was, but it didn't seem exactly like what he was feeling. He wasn't excited by the idea of Brian knowing about it and approving; rather the idea that he didn't know but might found out was what drove him. What was that exactly? If Brian had been in the room he couldn't have done anything, but if he was in the next room, oblivious, while he fucked Amy, that idea drove him wild.

He thought back to his college girlfriend Emma, as he did often at these times. At one point he thought he would marry her; he realized was crazy now, they were just college sophomores when they dated, before she left for her study year abroad. But she was really the first girl he ever loved, or at least thought he loved.

He still remembered that moment when he checked his email in the library computer room at school one February day. Emma had seemed distant when she visited around the holidays, but he thought nothing of it. Then, checking his email, his world collapsed. Emma wrote him to say it was over, that she had met someone else, a dashing French guy in one of her classes, and she needed to see where it led with him. It was all he could do not to break down right there; he made it back to his frat house and confided in Brian about what happened.

He remembered Brian being a great friend to him then, telling him to forget about Emma, that she wasn't good enough for him anyway, too snobby and stuck-up for a great guy like him. Even Amy tried to console him when she visited. But he couldn't get the image of Emma and Frenchie (Brian came up with the name to cheer Chris up one day) out of his head. It drove him mad with anger and jealousy to picture this French weasel with his girl, at least for a time.

Then at some point, those visions changed. Instead of angering him, it started to turn him on. Not that Emma was cheating on him with Frenchie, but that Frenchie had taken another's girlfriend. That seemed like the ultimate power move to Chris, something he could never do, or so he thought. Eventually, as he walked around campus, he looked at couples walking hand in hand, and begin to wonder if the girl was cheating on the guy. And start to picture himself being that guy she cheated with, sneaking around with her and slowly taking her from her boyfriend. He should be sympathizing with the guy being cheated on; instead he was rationalizing why the girl should cheat, with him no less. Somehow, the situation had reversed in his head. He couldn't explain why, but it had.

Before he had left for the wedding, Chris had received his college's alumni magazine. In the back was the class notes section, where members of each graduating class sent updates on their lives. He noticed Emma had sent an update, he knew she was working a high-powered investment banking job in London after she had graduated. He was stunned by a picture she sent, announcing her engagement, to none other than Frenchie.

He didn't begrudge Emma her happiness; he had long since moved past her, and Brian was right she was way too snobby for him. But he felt like he should be at least angry at Frenchie, after all he had taken the girl he thought he would marry from right under his nose and made her his. So why did he feel like congratulating Frenchie in the moment, for actually pulling it off? All these thoughts disturbed Chris, and he went to sleep a very restless man.

In the morning, Liz arrived for the wedding. They went down to the hotel restaurant to get some breakfast before leaving for the church. Chris was distracted, thinking about last night, but he couldn't help but laugh looking at his girlfriend, who was making funny faces at the little kid sitting across from them. She was so beautiful, but she had a goofy, fun-loving side to her that made her irresistible. She brought Chris out of his shell, as she always did.

"You keep doing that we're going to get kicked out of here," he joked.

"Oh, don't worry he loves it, Mr. No Fun...maybe I should just make those faces at you," she replied, and they both laughed.

"Hey I was thinking tomorrow before we head back we could go to the Philly Museum of Art, I always wanted to run up the steps like Rocky!" Liz said, excitedly lifting her arms up and down, drawing the attention of all the nearby patrons.

Chris nearly fell out of his chair laughing. Composing himself, he teased "Sure, but don't get arrested. I can't bail you out. I have an image to maintain." Liz replied by sticking her tongue out at him.

He wasn't like this around everyone else, most saw him as serious and shy, a reluctant talker. Liz made him want to be different, to go out and do things, have fun. At home, she always loved to watch Seinfeld and Simpsons reruns with him, they were both of their favorite shows, as well as his favorite movies, especially Caddyshack, and she was the only person who enjoyed that he liked to quote every funny line as it was said; it just annoyed everyone else.

They also had long serious talks about their lives and the future. They worked in the same industry so knew the up and downs of health care and pharmaceuticals. Whenever one had a bad day at work, the other could immediately understand and relate. When they weren't together, he often found himself talking to her on the phone for hours at night, about nothing and everything. He didn't do that with anyone else, even his parents and family.

He knew what he said to Amy last night, but times like these made him feel that proposal was sooner than even he realized. He could do no better than Liz, he was sure of that. She fed his body, mind and soul.

Amy, he said to himself, still she was never far from his thoughts. He did his best to hide it from Liz, but he began to think about what would happen after she returned from her honeymoon. How could he, could they, continue to do this? But everything about Amy and the situation turned him on. It was like he shut off his brain around her. He didn't want to hurt Liz, but he selfishly still wanted the thrill of sex with Amy. But he would have to think of these things later, right now he needed to get ready for the wedding.

"I gotta go, hun, I'll see you at the church," Chris said kissing his girlfriend.

"K babe, I'll be sure to take a lot of pictures of the world's hottest groomsmen...and by that I mean your friend Rob," she said with a wink.

Chris nearly choked, until he quickly realized she was joking. If only he could say the same thing about Amy, that it was only a joke. Unfortunately, it was far too real.

At the church, Chris watched Amy say her vows to Brian with no second thoughts. At least it didn't seem like it to Chris, but he was doing his best to not look at her. He honestly wasn't even jealous they were getting married; distressingly the idea of sleeping with a married woman just turned him on more. He turned and looked at his girlfriend, who was looking at him funny. Oh my god, she knows what I'm thinking, panicked Chris. Instead, she broke out into a big grin and began taking pictures of Rob.

It completely took him out of what he was thinking, and he barely suppressed a laugh at how ridiculous she was. In that moment, he knew he wanted to marry Liz. He just hoped his other desires didn't ruin things. The last thing he ever wanted to do was wipe that goofy smile off her face.

Amy was also having other thoughts, mostly about what a bad person she was. But she was selfish and still wanted this. She truly loved Brian and wanted to spend her life with him. Even though he got busy, he was always devoted to her when he was around, always looking to make her happy. She knew he would be the perfect father and provider for her and her children.

Chris didn't make her feel that way, though she could no longer deny he made her feel something. Most of the times they were together they said very little after sex, at least anything of meaning. Brian was quiet and shy, but she could draw him out and get him to have fun with her, to laugh and talk about things.

She never could with Chris, and to be honest she didn't really want to. He was her drug, her stress release; their bodies fit perfectly together, but not so much their minds. She knew it was unfair, and hypocritical, but she now knew she couldn't give Chris up yet. She would have to figure out a way to make it work without destroying her life.

Then, she pushed her bad feelings aside and smiled as she became Mrs. Brian Harris.

PRESENT DAY

Chris pulled into the hotel parking lot thinking about those days before the wedding. That was truly the last time either Amy or Chris really thought they could end things between them, at least until that unforgettable night in his hotel room. After that, they would take breaks from each other, as they agreed when things got too intense, or events made things too intense, but before long their desires were back and somehow they ended up together.

Based on tonight, Amy seemed to be suggesting it was time for another break. But would this be the time they finally made it permanent? As much as he thought he should end it, for the sake of his family, he didn't know how he could, or if he even wanted to.

He knew he had a long sleepless night ahead of him. Whatever he thought now, he knew one look at Amy could change his mind completely.

TO BE CONTINUED...