All Comments on 'Express Delivery'

I absolutely loved this one, and hopefully there will be more eventually. Thanks for sharing.

Incredible and addictive, couldn't stop reading! Please, give us more!!! :)

I really liked your world building and the story. All the different races were well designed. I really liked the Seekers mutiny and the whole pulpy aspect of the story. It was a really enjoyable read. I only had two major issues. The first was with Zeeris, she just rubbed me the wrong way, but since it wasn't a huge part of the story, it wasn't a big deal. The other issue was his sister. She seemed like a throwaway character and kind of a MacGuffing to explain backstory. I would love to see more stories in this universe.

Thanks for your kind words so far!!

@Unrighteous & Tjorvenr: There are already stories in the same universe, namely "The Rembrandt Legacy" and "Fading Stars". There might be a sequel in the cards involving Sal & company. The Seeker arc isn't quite over yet and the Dark Tide will feature heavily in future storylines. But first I think Sal has to visit the Gravon again :)

Keen-eyed readers will probably find at least two cross-references to "Rembrandt Legacy". I'm curious if you can spot them.

Anon: Zeeris will return with a vengeance should I write a sequel to Express Delivery. I thought I gave her enough of a motivation and backstory to be a visible and viable alternative to the other women in Sal's life. It's okay if you don't like her or disagree.

As for Sal's sister, she was mainly there to show how different both of them are. She's the rule-adhering career officer, Sal tends to skirt the rules, with varying degrees of success. It's in the eyes of the beholder to decide who is better off in the end.

There are more stories in this universe. Fading Stars and The Rembrandt Legacy share it and technically Twin Suns of Atlantis does too. I'm sure there's more in the works but Mud and Magic is taking a bit of priority at the moment.

Impressive read, totally enjoyed your story. Thanks

Speaking of which, you've kept me up for hours.

Excellent story - you grabbed my attention on the first page and I couldn't stop. I think there were a couple of parts where you went a bit too technical, but your storytelling was great.

Loved it, and good luck.

x

more please , I love this genre, I love your storytelling!

The story line was fascinating and the pace of the story was great!

I'm a sucker for good, engaging sci-fi, and this had it in spades. An excellent story that had some spicy sex in it, but sex wasn't the story. (That's a good thing!)

I hope you continue with more stories in this universe.

Hands down, this was just.. superb

Kudos!

J

.. for the great stories you share with us readers.

As you asked for the pointers connecting to "The Rembrandt Legacy" ...

there are two mentions of Padari ..

and then the mention of the overthrow of an Faceless ship by a Nor psychic ... which should be Praecor Thal ...

both crew members of the Seeker.

Looking forward to more stories in the Precursor universe

Wolfgang

So well written, but I didn’t particularly appreciate all the cock the guy took because it wasn’t in that category. True, you gave us plenty of time, story-wise, to avoid it, but not warning about it ahead of time is disingenuous. I like your writing, but these stories are categorized for a reason. I should know before reading so I can make an informed choice.

I’m not uptight, but that stuff doesn’t do it for me. I don’t want to read it. This is an erotic site, after all.

This story was exceptional. I can picture a sanitised version being a fantastic Netflix or amazon series. Engaging characters, both villains and heroes. Would love to see this rivalling “The Expanse” as my favourite SciFi series. Do hope you continue and consider submitting toned down versions to a content maker.

If I could give you 6 stars I would. An excellent story, well paced & fun to read.

Ditto on the 6 Stars but alas I can only give you 5. Excellent Space cowboy adventure, I can't wait for your coming chapters, (you know its to good to stop now). My only problem was my visual of Han Solo sucking Wookie Dick. But that's just me. Maybe I just need more of this. Hint Hint. Thanks for this wonderful read during our lockdown.

What a great story. 5*

damn, you just keep getting better and better, don't you? Great story!

Epic space opera! Thanks for several days worth of entertainment. I especially enjoyed the flirting and innuendo with San'yas and all the detail that went into rebuilding Consuela. I'm looking forward to what you have in mind for the Dark Tide in the future. Nice setup.

Please keep going

Good story telling, convincing science fiction. Hot sex banter. I love the tensions, sexual and otherwise.

Constructive feedback: I hoped some more sexy scenario's would've played out (: story kept me going anyway with ease.

-Bjs

Great story, I really look forward to more in the future!

Really enjoyed the story and as other comments have said it kept be hooked to keep reading it.

I really enjoyed this. A compelling main character, interesting supporting cast, a fascinating sci-fi setting, and some very fun playtime scenes. Absolutely worth the time investment!

Enjoyed it a whole lot! Would like to see a continuing of the story!

Your story kept me spellbound for 30 very long pages!

chur m8 awsum story

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Great story, needs at least two more episodes, 1 getting rid of mother 2 dealing with the dark

This I really enjoyed. Stretch my boundaries, and was a well put together read. Yeah there are some Gratuitous Sex but not all that much. For that I'm very grateful.

now we must realize all that happened will take place as greed occurs through out society in the forms of religion and politics. TK U MLJ LV NV

When I was reading the NEW STORIES section , I thought this might be a good story. I forgot to check the page count BECAUSE the first page got me HOOKED ! I spent 3 sleep deprived night reading this fantastic story and have started researching your other stories . I can't believe I read the whole thing Sci-fi is not my usual bag , but you got me hooked with GREAT story ( I hope there are more chapters . The love stories side just enhanced the whole thing , the sex was was great tooo.

THANKS FOR THE READ 5*s if you have to ask .

txcracker

I wholeheartedly agree with the development of a trilogy comment!!! (1) Express Delivery, (2) Freeing the rest of the Seekers and permanently retiring Mother, (3) Bringing Light to the Dark saving the Galaxy.

I loved the flow of the story and the development and maturation of the characters, I would like to see the integration of the rest of the seekers into galaxy. Maybe the reintegration of their DNA could refresh and infuse the existing galactic races aginst some malevolence galactic disease, biogenetic warfare, epidemic as they were the seed used to spawn the galaxy. And it would hurt to see further development of the various interpersonal relationships such as males for the seekers, Jelana and Sal, etc.

My only complaint was all the ex-machina's that came in to play to save our hero along his journey. Our hero needs money fast to pay off his debts, the next minute a person with 5 million bucks gives him a job. They fill up at a space gas station and a evil doer wants to take his woman/client. The next minute a random undercover faceless person saves him by sheer dumb luck. The bounty on his head gets fixed because his slaveholder has an ex machina change of heart towards him. Then he Needs repairs for a busted ship, doesn't have enough money to cover the costs, sex starved faceless does repairs for free. Gets captured by mother, a literal mutiny happens the next minute to free the hero. All the quick ex machina's in the story became expected. Our Hero never struggled for anything and everything just kind of fell into place for him without him having to do anything. I enjoyed the world building and characters I just wanted to point this storytelling flaw out to you to help you become a better writer. Good luck.

This was the first story of yours I've read and it won't be the last!

Mickey R.

Anonymous "I liked it... But"

Jenala's timely arrival wasn't an "ex machina". It was the setup of the whole story, complete with a reason for her to pick Sal over anyone else - he had a working spaceship while most others on that day were blown to bits by the terrorist attack. Also, his trading partner knew that Sal was always looking for lucrative jobs and sent Jenala Sal's way. An "ex machina" is a sudden and implausible turn of events and I made damn sure that every event was solidly grounded.

Dr. Najali can't be called an "ex machina" since I rather strongly hinted that she was more than just a simple doctor. No simple doctor working at a franchised medical center knows about "highly illegal black-ops level cyberware". Also, even during the landing sequence I dropped hints that Nemex' enterprise might draw all kinds of attention, both from the law and other criminals, something I kept on bringing up.

Nera didn't have a change of heart out of nowhere. First, as stated by Ylzics, she obviously liked Sal to begin with. Then, taking a huge cut of the bounty in exchange for Sal's freedom is not "out of nowhere", just good business sense. She got way more than his debt out of the deal, so in the end she won regardless. Where is that "out of nowhere?"

Sanyas didn't do repairs for free. I mean, come on, maybe for us degenerates tentacle sex is the new norm, but most other people would view "being fucked by a tentacled shapeshifter" very much as a fair price to pay for ship repairs. So, no, even that isn't an "ex machina". Being alone for extended periods of time does raise certain needs and shapeshifting aliens are no exception.

The mutiny didn't "just" happen - it was brewing for some time, even before Jenala freaking LEFT the fleet. Her return and the events afterwards (including Mother possessing Ajura and basically forcing her to be cruel to Sal) were the spark to light up the powder keg.

I wanted to write a story where the protagonist does not solve every problem alone and with unbearable ease. The universe doesn't revolve around Sal, he's merely living in it. And he did have his moments of brilliance, which increased in frequency towards the end, where his growth as a person and "hero" (I use that term reluctantly() became apparent. His use of the hijacked loader mech, skillful flying (you know, the ONLY thing he said he was good at!), holding his own during the brawl on the Faceless ship (and saving the Lorekeeper) - that was all him. Much more importantly, overcoming his own preconceptions and prejudices was much more important to write than being a one-man action hero army. If you look again, you will find enough evidence that I'm not pulling these reasons out of my ass. How do you think that story ended up being so goddamn long?

Outstanding story. Original universe and denizens. The character development was wonderful. I wasn’t left wondering about the individuals. Even Mother and the other Seekers only seen briefly were well rounded. I hope to see more of Sal and company, including Neira. This is amongst the best I’ve read. (Can we see Mother again pleeeeeeeze! She’s so wonderfully evil). 5*

Test

That was a great read. It showed up with perfect timing. Stuck in lockdown with nothing but twice read books laying around. I took the day off from doing nothing and read it straight through.

I used to love sci-fi stories. Nearly all I read for entertainment. Got away from it for a good long while. Now I've found your stories, Blind _ Justice. Thank you. If the rest are only half as good they'll still earn 5 stars.

Incredible writing that perfectly straddles the line between sci-fi and a romance novel, with an impressive world built around it to make it believable.

Great Sci/Fi story, very well written and thought out characters. If I had found this in a book store I would have been very pleased with my discovery,

I found it while looking for something to read while waiting on 7-8 serials I'm reading, (mostly Sci-Fi). Figured it would be 2-3, maybe 4 pages since it was a single drop. Much to my delight, it was a book. Gave me a two whole days of reading. LOL

My main leisure time activity is reading; has been for nearly 60 years. Plus I've been disabled for 17 years, which causes me to spend about 50% of my time lying down. I've been voraciously consuming LIt works since about 6 months after the sites launch.

Here's to hoping I find more gems like this in your subs list.

Thanks for sharing your imagination, and especially thanks for all the work it takes to put together a Lit sub.

If you ever need a technical consult for something, give me a shout, (add my sig, below, to Comcast's email domain), I've had a very diverse life full of experiences, as well as 'several' careers.

GeoD

The part where he agrees to be butt fucked ruined the whole thing..not my cup of tea..would have been fine with him just observing that, not experiencing it ..not into it at all ..thanks but no thanks on any future reads..good luck...

A wonderful story with the right amount of sexual contents and not vice versa as it is unfortunately very often the case. I couldn’t stop reading and burned some midnight oil until reaching the end. I am looking forward for a second chapter.

Predictable plot in much of the story, but still most enjoyable because of the people involved. The twist at the end was nice too although it seemed to cut off a bit short and the build up needs work or something to juice it up.

I've read hundreds if not thousands of sci-fi books and this to me is one of the best. Tons of action, well developed characters, gritty story, plot twists, excellent flow, published level editing, really cool mostly believable tech and enough future sex! to make my banana cry! I'm not into guy butt stuff but it wasn't over done enough to make me want to skip it. Plus they were futas so that kinda helped. Keep writing and pumping out this stuff. 10/10

Lots of unknowns i like. was great read with more to come please

Great space romp. Inventive. Keep me binge reading throughout. I am a SciFi fan and this is high quality. Thanks!

Great read in sci-fi, kept me interested throughout. More please.

Great characters, plot shifts, comedic interludes and massive heart stopping action sequences make for a very enjoyable read, could not "put it down" and so looking forward to the sequel/s. Thanks for a great tale!

I have just reread this story for the third time and it is definitely one of the best on Literotica. A great story line with well developed characters and very easy to read. I particularly loved the interaction of Sal, Jenala and Sanyares, very sexy indeed. To those who object to some of the sex scenes just skip them but in the context ofthe story and characters they are an essential part. I totally loved it. May we please have some more of these fantastic people❤️ Cheers Ian from Oz

Nothing to add or take away, just wanted to say I enjoyed it and to encourage you to keep putting words on paper (virtually speaking).

Great sci-fi with an engaging plot and characters. No criticisms, but a follow-up wouldn't be a bad thing.

Strand

This is really good. I wouldn't mind more stories set in this setting. Reading through it made me want to explore more of the setting.

Do you have like setting notes on technology, species, and astrography for this setting?

Good story with a lot of imaginative twist and turns. Kind of a long read but worth reading till the end. I was a little saddened that Sal and Jenala were not united at the end, but I guess Sal found taking a dick was more than just a pain in the ass, lol.

Fantastic story. Some writers just make it all sound so easy, but you found the right amount of drama and danger to make it more believable. Great work

As an old sci fi freak, this was exceptionally entertaining. Great plot, loved the twists and turns and please, if not a follow up, then maybe a parallel offshoot. Thanks!