All Comments on 'Extending the MILF List Ch. 06'

long

Looks like you are starting to figure out how to give Sonny his Mojo back to him. As for the length, yes it is long and takes a while to read, but so do some of the other great stories put up on Literotica (i.e. "My Only Talent" and "The Morrisons").

Please at least in the next story do one of two things, either get Sonny to start his seduction of Sean's mother so as to start her addition to being added to the MILF List or have Sonny start his preparation to making someone else airtight.

Part of the problem in this series, that was not there in the other series, is that there does not yet seem to be a clearly defined goal, just a meandering path. While in the preceding two series there is a clearly defined goal. In "Making the MILF List" the goal was in getting each of the mothers to fuck Sonny so as to see if they would cheat on their fathers and if Sonny's single mom would cross the line and have incest with her own son, as she was seen as the biggest obstacle they had to overcome. In "Sharing the MILF List" the goal is in making all 5 mothers having incestuous sex with their sons and then to make them all airtight. In both stories the meandering of the story line was there, but the goal was what held the interest in the story.

So, in your next chapter please clearly define who will be the targets to be made airtight between Sonny and the other 5 guys (Landon, Branden, Chris, Sammy and Sean). If in later chapters they add other women to the list, like you did with Sammy's Aunt Melisa and with Landon's girlfriend Darlene in the prior series, then add in those little surprises to keep the story fresh.

Nice sidebar and twists. Not too long at all. Keep it going

You are a damn good writer. Write what you want not what others may suggest. It is what makes your stories different and is much better than most.

Don't care about what the previous guy say, it's not too long. Some other story with only 2 pages seems longer, this one was rightly wrote so it's easy to read those 12 pages. Can't wait ti read the next one.

have enjoyed all your stories to date, keep writing the length is what it is don't change your style. I prefer a longer story if the writing is good and the narrative doesn't drag your doesn't. Just hope it won't take three months for the next chapter.

The first few pages, all of the characters sounded the same. The flow of words was needlessly broken by the use of multiple comma's (for all characters). A simple change in word order would have made the sentences flow for an easier and more pleasing read and still conveyed your intent.

I believe that you overreached yourself on this chapter. The intent is muddled, the execution is... not terrible, but it feels forced. I feel you tried for too much complexity. I would suggest that if you had broken this down a bit into more bite sized elements to expand on them individually, it would have made more sense without losing your goal. By expanding the individual elements a bit, yes it would have made your offering longer but cleaner. Overall, again, not up to your normal standards but still good enough for 4 stars. I would have given you 3.5 but that is not an option.

What hypocrisy.

Not your hypocrisy, but mine, to criticize you when I have no offerings of my own on this forum. My lapse is truly egregious and I beg your forgiveness if I have overstepped myself. The intent of my comment will hopefully be received as the constructive criticism it is meant to be.

I do at least have the courage to post under my ID and not anonymously. You deserve that much and more for having the courage to post your work.

I wish you well on your next offering.

Wow, your writing is never dull and positively addictive

..Can't wait to read more of your sexual eye candy!! Bravo