All Comments on 'Extra Change'

Keep it up.

As I said above, good, erotic, and well written too. Most of these kind of stories are descriptions of male fantasies, as this is. But you took a different approach from most of them by writing from the female's point of view.

Hope you write more. Thanks.

The action you stated was more like Zack moved into a

parallel universe. Chris (or Crissy) seemed to have an

entire life in each time he touched the remote. The

interesting thing was that Chissy knew about the other

universe, and could help Zack adjust to the new universe.

I liked the thought process going on in Crissy's mind to figure out how to ease Zack into the new world. Wonderful.

This is a good story, but has very little mind control in it. It would be more accurate to code it transexual rather than mind control.

Now when do we get a New Chapter. It would be most excellent if the "Old Flame" Karen made a Reappearance

and tried to weasel her way into Zack's life.

and he and Crissy could put her through their Paces and take Pics to Scandalize her with?

Quite a fantastic piece. I especially enjoyed Chrissy's bracketed thoughts - they help pull the reader even more into this alternate universe. Fantastic re-envisionment of a quirky commercial.

Would love to see it continue.

This story is Too Good to leave as it is. Do they or dont they Stay together.

Or does Karen weasel her way back.

...I've got four other stories I'm (slowly) working on. And two more in the idea stages. A further chapter will have to come from someone else. But I don't mind if someone takes this and runs with it; in fact I'd be fascinated to see what other people did with it.

Well written. I appreciate the way you covered the different aspects of Zach's life. Not only did you have Crissy's early comments about Karen being wrong for him, you also let us see it for ourselves when they encountered her at the club. Crissy with Zach was hot, adding Shawna was inspiring.

Was panting out loud reading this.

You need to keep going this has the potential to be a great multi-part epic.

there must be more to this story in your head!!!

PLEASE post it so that I can keep living!!!

One of the best stories I've read on this site. I liked the dynamics of the relationship between Crissy and Zack.

A great way to run with an idea from a commercial and turn it into an outstanding story.

A few minor editorial mistakes, but far fewer than seems common with many writers. Your use of polysyllabic words were correct and that's very nice to see.

This story is a must read and I may must have to take my own shot at a version of "change" and see how I do. Though, honestly my forte is short stories and poetry. Still, worth a try! Keep up the great writing!

I enjoyed this story immensely but I have a few beefs. The romantic element was very strong but it was unnecessarily offset by the mff action at the end. She seemed so madly in love with him throughout the story. It seemed unrealistic for her to be willing to share him after she went through so much trouble to make him love her. It was also a little strange for her to suddenly still be into girls after her supposed reform. And Zack goes from being unsure about Crissy to being comfortable enough to have a ménage-a-trois with her in the blink of an eye. In summary, the final act was the weakest of an otherwise interesting story. The ending also needed to be a little bit more fleshed out. What happens to them? Marriage? Kids? Breakup? Some people say another chapter is warranted but I don't see where else the story could possibly go, unless more magic ensues. My last quarrel with you is for a factual error. Somewhere in the story I recall you writing that it's harder for lesbians to catch STD's, which I'm sorry to say is absolutely untrue. Their chances are just the same as anyone else's.

@JonnyZelda - The genre of 'Mind Control' was not chosen by accident. If Chrissy's attitudes are unlikely or unusual in precisely the ways that Zack would like, that's not a coincidence.

And yes, lesbians are not immune to STDs by any means, but lesbian sex does have a significantly lower chance of transmitting an STD. For example, the number of documented cases of female-to-female HIV transmission in the U.S. is in the *single digits*. That cannot be said of male-male or male-female transmission.

While it comes to an end at a decent point, with all the major questions answered at some level, this story could really use a sequel!

Like GoesGrunt commented last year, I would love for this story to continue. I see from your submissions page that you haven't contributed since last year. Hopefully, you will again. My fellow readers certainly like your work by the ratings you have received. This one - well written. Five stars!

Been some time since I read this story, and it still matches up to the first time. Bravo

Though I personally would have an issue with my gal wanting sex with other gals it would be more because I'd worry I might end up out in the cold - not being able to be sure which she preferred - but...

If a gal was EXACTLY what I wanted, she'd probably be a gal into other gals that would absolutely be able to continually make me believe I was her first choice and, if needed to be, her only choice.

Clearly Zack isn't adverse to threesomes and more, he just definitely wants it to be *all females* and him and for HIS primary to consider him HER primary.

Good writing...

On a personal taste kind of thing, I'd have liked some markings between the scene changes... But also willing to give you benefit of the doubt that the site removed what you had.

… I loved it!

Is it possible to give more than 5 stars????