by noplex
This was a good story, how ever you might want to have some one proofread them prior to publishing on the site. The typos or word usage was sometimes confusing.
Great little story. I could have read a hundred more pages. Look forward to reading your next story. Thank you.
please write more of this story love the peolpe in it and love your style of writing
This is a great story! Please continue it, I will read every chapter you write.
you've put a lot of detail into the background of Dave. I thought that you have done a very good job of setting up this story and I think that it shows a lot of promise for future chapters. Maybe if you have time you could give us more background on Danni or a problem that develops because of her past. Please continue with your story. You've got a really good style.
I really love this story. I cant wait till you post again so that i can read what happens next. Please continue soon.
Very nice,
I absolutely enjoy reading what you created, be it this story
or the others.
Thought I have to second the previous comment, she did come about a *bit* fast - but then, two month is a lot of time where you wouldn;t just write crap to make it feel long for us...
I absolutly like his attitude, please continue,
I'll be allways eager to check back for new content by you;
Cheers
Killerdog
but i think that she went too fast what with her past and all...
overall i would saw a 8/10 for this submission...looking forward to more chapters soon...as well as in your other stories...