Eye of the Beholder

That, too, was something brand new; something he'd never once thought about. The closest thing he could find to use as an analogy was the way he felt about Sarah when they went somewhere. He was constantly watching other guys, all of whom were looking at her, for those she might have smiled at or flirted with. It wasn't the same thing, but it was a kind of insecurity, and all he knew was he hated that feeling.

But Justin learned something important in that brief ride back to work. He would have to be completely open and honest to allow this new Vera to be able to trust him. The thought of her feeling that way everywhere they went bothered him and was unacceptable.

Over the next three months, Justin found that old habits really are hard to break. In that time, in spite of what he thought were serious intentions to change, he racked up a dozen or so new hook ups but not one relationship, let alone with a girl like Vera.

Another month passed, and two weeks before Justin turned 38, Joel let him know their office manager was quitting.

"No. Don't even tell me that," his older brother said.

"I'm serious. She just got engaged, and her fiancé lives in California," Joel told him.

"California. That's not near Italy, is it?" Justin quipped.

"Um...no, but some say it is its own country now," Joel said back in his typically sarcastic style.

"Shit. How much notice is she giving?"

"Thirty days."

"That's better than two weeks, right?" Justin asked rhetorically.

"I'll start advertising the job online. Can you check with that agency in Seattle that trains and hires the kind of person we need?"

"Person? You mean as in a man or a woman? You can't seriously be thinking about bringing a guy in here."

Joel just shook his head.

"No, I'm not thinking of bringing a guy in here. Excuse the hell outta me for saying 'person'. Sheesh."

Justin had never even considered that a guy...a man...might be as good or better than a woman. But it just didn't seem to fit no matter how hard he tried to look at the practical side of it. He didn't think he was a sexist, and yet he had to admit he really, really wanted another attractive—and talented—woman to work in the office.

It took a few days to get any traction, but their feelers got several hits by the end of the week. Now it was up the brothers to make time for interviews, something neither of them enjoyed. They like working with their hands, and they were both very good at it. They enjoyed fixing and building things, not sitting in an office asking questions. But it had to be done, so they set aside an hour a day for a week to interview the first five candidates after screening over fifty resumes then whittling them down to just five.

The first woman was named Candy Hale, and the brothers both laughed and said, "Sweet!" at the same time when their outgoing office manager told them Candy was waiting.

Candy was maybe 45, a bit on the heavy side, but otherwise highly qualified and very experienced. Hiring her on the spot would have been a no-brainer but because they'd already scheduled the other interviews, they decided to follow through with them.

"Besides, it would be nice to find a woman like Candy who was also—eye candy, right?" Joel said after they finished the interview.

Justin laughed out of habit, but he realized things like that weren't as funny to him anymore as they'd once been. And for the first time in many days, he remembered the talk he and his dad had had.

The following day they interviewed another older woman. She was slightly more attractive, but not nearly as qualified and had only one year of experience. They thanked her for her time, and let her know they'd get back to her.

It was the third candidate that turned Justin's world on its head.

"Taylor Donovan is here to see you," their office manager said as she peeked into the office.

Both men stood up to shake her hand, welcome her, and ask her to have a seat.

Joel paid little mind to her personal appearance, but Justin was unable to stop staring.

Taylor was maybe 5'6" and no more than 100 pounds—if that. She was not only very thin she wore black-framed glasses, and had no visible signs of growth in the chest area. Her dark hair was clean and straight, but certainly wasn't silky or anything close to sexy. Were she to style it, it had potential, but she wore it straight and it was a plain as she was.

She sat down, pulled her knees together, sat up straight and tall, and smiled.

Taylor's smile was nervous but also genuine. Her teeth were almost perfectly straight but by no means perfect. The resemblance to Vera was so uncanny it caught Justin off guard to the point he was having trouble focusing.

He heard Joel say, "Justin?" then felt a nudge in the ribs.

"What? Sorry," he said as he finally stopped staring at the woman sitting in front of them.

"I was just telling Taylor how glad we are to have her stop by and that we're looking forward to talking with her."

"Right. Yes. Yes, we are," he said as he looked back over at her.

The innocent way she looked at him and the obvious nervousness were somehow...scintillating. He fumbled with her file, took a look at it to refresh his memory then began the interview.

"Ms. Donovan, I see her you recently graduated from the University of Washington."

"Oh, yes. I finished up in June and have been looking for work since," she said with a smile Justin found...charming.

"Um...since you have a college degree, what is it that interests you in working in a small office like this?" he asked.

"My family—my parents—live here, and I really don't want to leave the local area, so I was hoping to find employment nearby. My parents have used your company, and told me they were very satisfied with your work. So when I learned of the opening, I thought it would be an excellent opportunity for me."

Justin sort of nodded while tilting his head then asked, "I see you have no experience with any kind of office management. What makes you think you could do the job?"

It wasn't a challenging question. It was one that simply needed to be asked.

Taylor provided a sound, reasonable answer, then he turned it over to Joel to ask more technical questions about the software programs they ran to manage their business, and Taylor's responses were very impressive.

They thanked her, too, then discussed her qualifications after she left.

"She's not much to look at, but I like her," Joel said.

"I don't think so," Justin said almost immediately.

"You don't think she's a plain Jane or you don't think she's qualified?"

Justin hadn't shared any details of his talk with their dad, and he didn't feel like getting into right then and there with his brother.

"She's not ugly," Justin said hoping that would satisfy his brother.

"I didn't say she was ugly, dude. I said she isn't much to look at. She's got that...mousy look, you know? It's almost cliché to say it, but she looks like she belongs in an office. Or maybe a library."

"Yeah. Maybe so," Justin said absentmindedly. "Let me think about it, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. We still have a couple more people...women...to see, so let's let this play out."

By the end of the week, they'd narrowed it down to Taylor and Candy, with Candy being the more experienced of the two with Taylor having the advantage in terms of computer skills and overall education.

"So? What's the verdict?" Joel asked. "I'd be okay with either one, so you make the call."

Justin hadn't been able to stop thinking about the lithe, young woman and wanted to have Taylor right there in front of him every day, and yet he knew Candy was the more qualified of the two. She'd lived there all her life, her family was there, and she wasn't going anywhere. Taylor, on the other hand, was young and even though she said she wanted to be near her family, that could change. She could meet someone from say...Italy...and be gone, and stability was very important. Their current office manager had been with them since day one, and the idea of someone leaving in a year or so wasn't a pleasant thought.

"I say we go with Candy," Justin told his brother.

Joel laughed, said, "Sweet!" again, then high-fived his brother.

"Just don't say that—or Candy Cane or Candy Land or anything else—when she's here, okay?"

Joel laughed again then said, "You wanna call her and give her the good news?"

"No, you take care of that. I'm gonna let Vera know she was our runner-up."

"Vera? Who the hell is Vera?" Joel said, giving his brother a puzzled look.

"Vera? No. I meant...Taylor. I'll give her a call and let her know it was close."

"Yeah. Good idea," Joel said, having already forgotten about the Freudian slip. He had no idea who Vera was or that his brother had ever had a thing for her, so it wouldn't have mattered anyway.

Justin waited until close to 10am before calling the number Taylor gave as her primary point of contact. It rang twice before he heard her answer.

"This is Taylor," she said rather than 'hello'.

"Taylor. Good morning. This is Justin from..."

"Yes. Good morning. How are you, sir?" she asked pleasantly.

"I'm doing very well," he told her trying to sound just as cheerful.

Justin knew she was aware of why he was calling so when she didn't reply, he understood she was waiting for him to speak.

"First of all, both my brother and I were very impressed with you during the interview."

"Thank you," she said quietly sensing there was a 'but' coming.

"We also had another candidate we liked very much."

"Oh, okay," Taylor said just as quietly.

"She has many years of experience running an office, and we felt like she was the better choice."

"I see."

"We'd have loved to have you, Taylor. We know you'd have done a really good job for us."

When she didn't respond, Justin wasn't sure what else to tell her so trying to be lighthearted he said, "It would have been nice having such an attractive young woman on our team, and if anything comes open, we hope you'll keep us in mind."

Before he finished speaking, he knew there was nothing else that could come open unless Taylor was to become a licensed contractor.

Her reply surprised and even stung a little.

"Sir? I did my very best. I took the interview seriously and would have loved to work for you. But just because you and your brother are model-handsome doesn't mean you can make fun of me because I'm not. I'm well aware in not exactly an attractive girl, but I do my best to look professional. Reminding me that I'm not exactly in your league is just very unfair of you. I'm old enough not to be hurt by it anymore, but it's still an issue I struggle with, so please try and keep in mind we're not all created equal. At least not where appearance is concerned."

Justin was so taken aback, he was speechless. Taylor had come across as thoughtful and well-spoken but never wordy. But the tongue lashing he'd just received had been lengthy and detailed. In his mind, it was undeserved because he'd meant nothing close to the way she'd taken it. However, judging by her quiet lambasting, Justin needed to at least try and make this right.

"Taylor?" he began. "I believe we have some kind of disconnect."

"I agree," she said. "I should have only been considered on my qualifications. But if the way I look cost me the job, then yes, something is very wrong."

Justin was so lost he wasn't sure how to proceed. He knew he had to say something. He just wasn't sure what to say.

"Taylor? Would you please give me the chance to talk to you in person? I feel like we're two blind men describing the same elephant from different ends."

Justin wasn't politically correct, but he'd lived in the Seattle area long enough to know that a very large percentage of the people there were.

Fearing she might take offense at the reference to being blind he added, "And I mean no disrespect to the visually impaired."

"I really don't see any reason for us to meet, Mr. Anderson. I believe you've already explained things quite well."

Exasperated, Justin said, "I want you to know I not only didn't mean any disrespect—I meant what I said."

"Now you're just being patronizing," she said.

Justin couldn't tell if she was angry or hurt, but it was obvious he was still upset.

"Taylor? Please let me at least try and explain myself. I'd very much like to sit down over coffee or even lunch and try and straighten this all out. Would you please at least let me do that?"

There was silence for several seconds before she said, "I suppose it's possible I overreacted. If so, then perhaps I owe you an apology, Mr. Anderson."

"No. Not at all," he said feeling relieved. "But I'd feel much better if we could spend even just a few minutes together. I think it's important for you to hear it from me directly. The phone is better than email, but some things just need to be handled face to face. So would you at least let me buy you a cup of coffee and try and pull my big foot out of my even bigger mouth?"

His tone of voice must have helped, because hers changed, too.

"If you really feel like that's necessary, then...okay. I'd be willing to sit down with you and talk," she told him.

"I don't know your schedule, but I'm able to take some time during lunch to meet with you. If you haven't eaten, I'd be more than happy to buy you lunch," he told her.

"Well, I don't really have anything planned, but I'm not exactly dressed to go out. I'm anything but professional-looking right now," she explained.

"That's fine. It doesn't matter to me what you wear. I just want you to know I'm not the kind of person you think I am."

He sat there shaking his head trying to figure out how a simple phone call had gone so far afield.

"I suppose it doesn't really make any difference," she said in a way that made him wonder what that meant. Maybe she was one of those women his dad referenced who are terminally insecure. If that was the case, it would be very hard to get beyond that.

"I only meant my interest isn't in your clothes. It's in fixing this," he said no longer sure what it was he was trying to fix.

"Well, I...I suppose that would be okay," she said with some hesitancy. "As long as it's some place simple."

"I have your address from your resume. If you're at home, there's a Jack in the Box not too far from there. Would that work for you?"

"Oh, sure. I know exactly where that is. I actually used to work there when I was in high school," she told him.

"And is noon okay?"

"Um...sure," Taylor told him. "I can meet you there at twelve."

"Great. And thank you for giving the opportunity to redeem myself."

"As I said, perhaps I'm the one needing to do the redeeming."

Justin said very pleasantly, "Either way, I'll see you there at twelve o'clock."

"Okay. I'll be there," she said almost sweetly.

"What the hell was that all about?" Joel asked.

His call to Candy had lasted less than thirty seconds while his big brother had been on the phone for a several minutes.

"How long does it take to say, 'Sorry. Better luck next time'?" Joel kidded.

"I'm actually gonna go sit down with her. We had a kind of misunderstanding, and I want to try and work it out."

"What kind of misunderstanding? Did you tell her she got the job or something?" his brother asked trying to figure out what Justin meant.

"No. Nothing like that. I think I might have said something to offend her."

"Yeah, so? You'll never see her again, right? So what's the big deal?"

"She seems like a really nice girl. I don't want her thinking we're a couple of assho...jerks," Justin said.

"Yeah, well we kind of are," Joel said with a laugh.

"I guess, but maybe I'm tired of being one."

"Hey, it's your time. Do whatever you like with it, bro," his brother said, unwilling to keep beating what he thought was a dead horse, and Justin was glad to let it go.

He got up at a quarter 'til twelve and told Joel he was headed out.

His brother shook his head again then said, "If she was hot—or even cute—I wouldn't expect you back for a couple of hours. But since she's not..."

He looked at Justin then said, "Tell me again why you're doing this?"

"I'll be back in a while," was all Joel got in response.

As he headed for the Jack in the Box, Justin was doing his best to try and forget about the misunderstanding and found himself looking forward to sitting down with Taylor. He couldn't help but think if he could enjoy spending time with her, there might really be hope to find his modern-day version of Vera. It almost certainly wouldn't be Taylor, but she could prove very valuable in his future search.

He pulled in right at noon, hopped out, and headed inside. As he walked up, he saw her standing just inside the first set of glass doors, obviously waiting for him.

She'd told him the truth about not looking professional. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a simple green blouse. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and once he opened the doors he could see she was wearing a bit of mascara under her glasses, the only makeup on her face.

Even so, Justin thought she looked great and smiled when their eyes met.

"Hi, Taylor," he said. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me."

"I felt I owed you at least that much since I may have been the one to cause all of this," she told him.

"How about we hold off on assessing blame for now and get something to eat?" he suggested as he opened the inner door for him.

"Oh, thank you," she said as she kind of bent down then walked through first.

"You're welcome," he told her as he caught up.

"So...what can you recommend?" he asked as he nodded at the menu behind the counter.

"Well, you could run while there's still time," she said with a smile.

Justin laughed and smiled at her, too.

"I like your sense of humor," he told her.

Her smile brightened before she said, "I wasn't kidding. I used to work here, remember?"

Justin laughed again and found himself enjoying her company already.

"Well, we could go somewhere nicer," he told her just as he remembered her previous comment. "Unless, of course, you'd rather not."

"No, this is fine," she said. "I'm really not dressed for it, and I'm sure you wouldn't want to...you know...get caught at a decent place with the likes of me."

Justin stopped walking and turned to face her but not in a confrontational way.

"I would be very proud to be...seen...with a woman as pretty as you are...anywhere," he told her quietly and sincerely.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but guys like you aren't seen with girls like me. Unless it's business, of course, and as I said, I'm not professionally dressed."

She wasn't being rude. She was being honest. Taylor was very aware of how things worked. Guys like Justin dated girls who were extremely hot and sexy—not girls who looked like her. She wasn't offended. She just 'knew the deal'.

"Maybe we have more to talk about than either one of us thought," Justin said with a smile as he looked right at her.

"I don't understand," Taylor said with a look that told him she truly didn't.

"Come on. Let me take you someplace nicer that isn't...fancy. Is that a reasonable compromise?" he asked with yet another smile.

"Now I really don't understand," she said as she tried to hold his stare.

"Give me a chance to help you understand, okay? It's my treat, and if you find me to be truly reprehensible, I'll bring you back here and you'll never have to see me again."

"You want me to ride with you?" she asked, her eyebrows raised high in disbelief.

"Sure. You're welcome to follow me if you'd like, but it would seem a lot simpler if we rode together. Your call," he said keeping the smile going.

"Well, I know you own a business, and my parents know who I'm meeting, so I suppose that would be okay," she said rather tentatively.