Eye of the Beholder

"Great! Then let's go get some real food," Justin said as he nodded back the other way.

He opened both doors for her then opened the door of his truck, too.

"I can't remember the last time a man opened a door for me," she said right after thanking him.

He laughed then told her, "Well, I can't ever remember letting a woman open a door for herself!"

Taylor finally laughed, and Justin thought to himself she was more than attractive enough. In fact, she had a kind of girlish charm about her that he found quite appealing, and was now very interested in getting to know her better.

Once they got out on an actual road, he said, "I'm very sorry if I offended you this morning. I certainly didn't mean to."

He glanced over at her and saw her glance at him then look away.

"No. Now that I think I about it, I can tell I was just being defensive. I hope you don't think I'm...well...I'm sure you must think I'm a...flake. Or worse."

She shyly glanced his way again, and when they made eye contact, Justin smiled.

"No, not at all. I'm still not sure what I said, but I don't think anything even close to that."

"Well, thank you, Mr. Anderson. I suppose I just assumed you were..."

She hesitated then said, "This sounds so terrible."

"No. Go ahead. I probably deserve it," he said with a big old smile.

Taylor laughed again then said, "Thank you for making me feel so at ease. I was really dreading this, to be honest."

"I'm glad," Justin said as he waited for her to explain.

"Anyway, when you mentioned not having an attractive girl around the office, I automatically took that to mean you realized I'm not exactly attractive and were using it as an insincere throwaway line. I know now I completely overreacted and I apologize."

"No. Please don't," Justin told her. "I get it now that you explained how my comment made you feel. But I'm the one who's sorry, Taylor. I had no intention of making you feel bad."

He paused then said, "I was just being honest."

When he glanced over at her again as the rode along, he saw her roll her eyes.

"You don't have to pretend, Mr. Anderson. My overreaction aside, I'm really not sensitive about my looks. We're all born with them to varying degrees, and I'm perfectly content with who I am and how I look."

"Taylor? Would you please call me Justin?" he said, hoping to derail her from what sounded like putting herself down.

"Oh, sure. I'm sorry. I just can't help thinking of you as my employer. Or my ex-possible employer. Or whatever that would be."

She smiled again, and Justin felt much better. They were getting close to the restaurant he wanted to take her to, but he had at least one more thing to say before they sat down to eat.

"I don't want to sound overly dramatic or anything, but it's really important you believe me when I tell you I find you attractive, Taylor."

She didn't roll her eyes this time, but she did raise an eyebrow.

"I'm pretty good at assessing other people's character, and I'm convinced you're an honest man, but what you just said doesn't fit with anything I've ever experienced. However, I will take you at your word and just thank you for being so kind."

Not sure if he should press the issue, Justin only added, "I wasn't being kind, Taylor. Or at least I wasn't just being kind. I meant that very sincerely."

She glanced at him again just before he turned into the parking lot and smiled sweetly and thanked him again.

Then she said, "Oh, in case you didn't know it, you're a very handsome man...Justin."

He smiled but didn't say anything other than, "I hope this place is a little better than Crack in the Jack."

Taylor laughed louder than he'd heard, which wasn't loud at all, and said, "I haven't heard it called that in years. But that's what we all called it."

"As far as fast food goes, it's as good as any other. I wouldn't want to eat there every day, but it isn't...awful," he told her.

He looked over and saw her smiling then said, "Okay. It is pretty awful, isn't it?"

"Oh, yes," Taylor said. "It's pretty awful."

"And this is more than nice enough," she said referring to his choice for lunch.

She started to open her door when he held up a hand and said, "Oh, no. That's my job."

She pulled her hand away and said with a smile, "I'm very sorry. I didn't realize that."

He ran around, opened her door, then bowed at the waist.

"Ma'am!" he said as he raised up and offered her his hand.

She was light as a feather and straight as a board, and yet Justin found himself somewhat aroused just by the touch of her hand. He didn't want to let go but realized that really was too much too soon.

Instead, he smiled and held out his elbow. Taylor looked at him so he nodded to tell her, "Go ahead," and she did.

"I wish I'd worn something nicer," she said as they walked inside.

It wasn't a high-end restaurant, and other women were wearing jeans, but Taylor would have at least liked to have worn a nicer pair of pants and a prettier blouse or even a dress. But Justin didn't seem to mind at all, so again, she trusted that he meant what he said.

A very pretty girl, who was the hostess, recognized him and said hello immediately.

"Hi, Justin! Long time no see," she said while looking only at him. Justin had completely forgotten she worked there and was visibly uncomfortable.

"Hey, Avery," he said back weakly. "Yeah, it's been crazy busy lately."

He noticed she hadn't noticed Taylor and said, "Avery, this is my friend, Taylor. Taylor, this Avery, and old...acquaintance."

There was an uneasy exchange of 'pleasantries' leading Taylor to wonder if she might be more than just an 'acquaintance' as the girl was very pretty and roughly her age. She learned long ago not to be jealous of other people as jealousy, like anger, was a wasted emotion. Neither solved anything and only made the people who wallowed in them miserable. If she had been more than a friend, it was none of her business. Besides, this was nothing but a quasi-business lunch, and she would never see Justin—or Avery—again.

Avery seated them and let them know their server would be right with them.

"She's very pretty," Taylor remarked.

"Avery? Oh, sure. I guess," he said nonchalantly.

"You see, when you're as attractive as you are, beautiful women are no big deal. But trust me, she's very beautiful."

Justin picked up a menu, looked right at Taylor, then said, "Okay, but I prefer my present company just the same."

Taylor wrinkled up her face a little as she tilted her head in doubt but didn't say anything in response.

"So...what's good here?" she said trying to steal his line from Jack in the Box.

"Pretty much everything," Justin said. "I love their catfish."

"Seriously? Is catfish even edible?" Taylor asked, her face slightly more wrinkled up this time.

"Oh, it's delicious," he told her. "Are you brave enough to try it?"

"Well...I was willing to eat a fish sandwich at Crack in the Jack, so..."

Justin laughed a hearty laugh just as their server, a women a little older than Justin, walked up.

"What can I get you two?" she asked pleasantly.

Justin raised an eyebrow at Taylor and she told him, "Okay."

"Two orders of catfish with hush puppies and slaw and..."

"Is iced tea okay?"

"Sure. That's perfect," Taylor told him.

"Two iced teas. Coming right up," the woman told them.

Justin leaned closer then whispered, "She has to run out and catch them first, so it could be a while."

Taylor tilted her head and tried not to laugh, but she couldn't help it.

"You're ridiculous!" she told him with a smile.

"Well, as long as you're not upset with me, I can accept that," he told her as he smiled back.

"No. Not at all," she said very sweetly. "And this is very nice, Justin. Thank you for bringing me here."

"Thank you for giving me a chance," he told her sincerely.

"A chance. Ha!" she said trying to be funny.

"What?" Justin asked.

Taylor saw the look of confusion and tried to explain.

"I was just joking around. You know, using the word 'chance' as though I actually had a chance with a guy like you."

She saw the way he was looking at her then said, "I'm doing it again, aren't I?"

"I believe you are," he told her. "And I say your chances are actually quite good."

The way he said it, along with the way he looked at her, caused something to happen deep inside her. She was still quite certain there was less than no chance of anything ever happening with a guy like that, but her body reacted very strongly—and very pleasantly—to what he said.

Feeling like he'd said all he dare say for now, Justin steered them away from anything connected to the topic they'd been discussing.

"So tell me some more about yourself, Taylor. I barely got to ask you anything about yourself during the interview. I understand you're from around here, but is this where you were born and raised?"

For the next 45 minutes or so, the two of them had a very pleasant conversation about growing up there, going to the same high school—just fourteen or so years apart—and then what they'd done since high school.

Justin had been gone a little more than hour, but it seemed like he'd just sat down when he got a text from Joel asking if he needed him to call to pry him away from the 'stick chick'.

"Sorry, it's my idiot brother," he said hoping she couldn't see the screen of his phone.

"No, I'm good. I'm actually enjoying myself," he texted back.

"Is everything okay?" Taylor asked.

"Sure. I just need to get back to work. We've got a new project we're starting this afternoon, I kind of lost track of time."

That part was true. It just had nothing to do with the nature of the text.

"Yeah. Me, too. Just not the work part," she said very sweetly, referring to how quickly their time together had passed and hoping she joke about having not been hired. "And the catfish was surprisingly good. Thank for suggesting it, and thank you for taking me to lunch."

"You're very welcome, he told her.

Then, without warning, he looked right at her and said, "I'd really like to do this again sometime, Taylor."

She did a quick shake of her head indicating she must have misheard.

"You what?" she asked, sure she really had missed something.

"I'd like to see again," he told her.

"I...I don't understand," she said even as brain tried to make sense of it.

"I've had more fun with you than I've had in a very long time, and I was hoping we might be able to do something together again. Anything, really. I just like spending time with you," he told her with such sincerity her body reacted the same way it had earlier.

"You're really serious, aren't you?" she asked trying not to let her overflowing incredulity show.

"Yes. Very," he told her in a matter-of-fact kind of way. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. I guess it just doesn't make any sense. That's all."

"And why doesn't it make sense?" Justin asked. "Is it because I'm so much older than you?"

"Oh. I...I hadn't even thought about that," Taylor told him truthfully.

"Then what is it that doesn't make sense?"

"Justin. Come on. You're you and I'm...me," she said hoping he'd get it.

"Now that doesn't make any sense," he told her.

Taylor looked down for a moment, then looked around until she saw Avery. She knew Justin saw her look before she turned back toward him and said, "Guys like you belong with women who look like Avery. Not...me."

"Says who?" he asked.

"Says...life. Says the universe. Says...everyone."

Justin got quiet then said, "Not everyone. I don't say that."

"You really want to go out with me?" she asked still not believing what she was hearing.

"Yes. I really do. Why is that so hard for you to accept?" he asked her.

Taylor sat there for a few seconds trying to process everything before finally believing—or at least maybe hoping—he was being sincere.

"Well if that's true. If you really do want to go out with me then I...I think I'd like that," she said, very concerned he might really be kidding or setting her up for something terrible. She'd had that happen before with a very good-looking guy, and it had been downright awful.

"Great. Then...I'll call you, okay?" he said as he motioned for their server so he could pay for the meal.

Taylor's heart was pounding in her chest, and her brain was on the verge of short circuiting. She'd never wanted for boyfriends or dates, but she'd never even dreamed of going out with anyone who looked anything like Justin Anderson. It was one of those unwritten rules and doing so violated every law of nature she'd ever heard of. And yet here he was asking her out in a way that told her he really wanted to spend time with her.

She wasn't aware she'd been sitting there just staring at him for several seconds after he told her he'd call her. She again shook her head, but this time it a kind of 'let me wake up here' type of shake.

"Sorry. Um...yes. Okay. That sounds really nice," she finally said, still not fully able to accept that this guy, this...gorgeous man...could possibly be interested in her. And yet, unless he was the best con artist she'd ever met...he certainly seemed to be.

As they rode back to the 'Crack in the Jack' where Taylor had parked her car, they continued to make small talk, and Justin found himself feeling things he'd never felt before. It still hadn't hit him that his dad had 'nailed it', but that was the last thing on his mind as he realized how much he was enjoying himself. Not the way he normally did but in some new, different, almost-exciting way he'd never experienced before.

Were she anyone else, he'd have already suggested they go back to his place—or hers—and if the past was any indication of the present, she'd have agreed. In a couple of hours it would be all over, and he'd be hard pressed to recall her name a couple of days later.

But Taylor was unlike any girl he'd ever been with, and from his point of view, he hadn't actually been with her. And that led him to another first which was the realization he had no interest in being with her like that. At least not yet. It was so new and even refreshing to spend time with a woman he wasn't going to sleep with, and yet that's exactly what was happening.

"Am I boring you?" he heard her ask in a polite way that had no hint of an accusation.

"No, not at all," he said, unaware he hadn't heard a word she'd said for over a minute.

"It's okay. I certainly understand," she said. There was no self-pity. It was just a statement of fact—at least from her perspective.

"You are definitely not boring me, Taylor," he told her as he looked over and smiled at her. "I guess I was just kind of lost in thought."

"Oh, right. You have that big project coming up," she said, assuming that must be it.

Justin smiled again then told her, "No, it isn't that at all."

He saw her quickly look his way, then turn away just as quickly.

"I was just sitting here thinking about how pleasant it is talking to you and just being with you."

He smiled one more time then said, "Even if I temporarily zoned out and made you feel like I wasn't having one of the best times I can ever remember. Which I am, by the way."

He saw a kind of pained expression on her face and asked if everything was okay or if he'd just said something to offend her.

"No. Not at all," she told him. "It's just...well, my heart loves hearing the things you've been saying, Justin. But my brain is having a very hard time accepting them."

"And it's not because I'm 37," he said as a statement but which was meant as a question.

"Oh, my gosh. You're...37?" she asked, her eyes wide open with surprise.

"For a few more weeks anyway," he said, still smiling, but concerned that might be a deal breaker. Hiding his insecurity he asked, "Did I just scare you away?"

"Well, no. Not really," she said, as she fumbled for the right words. "I knew you were older than me, but I thought you were more like...30 or so."

"No, sorry. That ship has sailed," he told her.

He could see something was still troubling her so he asked what it was.

"It isn't the age, Justin. It's...it's the whole...disparity thing."

"The disparity thing?" he asked. Being the far-better looking of the two, he couldn't relate, let alone understand, the level of insecurity Taylor was feeling because of the huge disparity in their looks.

She looked over at him then tried to explain.

"I hate when guys 'rate' girls. You know, on the 1-10 scale. But girls do it, too, so all I can say is I don't. But were I rate you, you'd be a 10. To me, anyway. And as I said, I'm very comfortable with who I am, but I'm...maybe a 6. And 10s don't date 6s. Ever. It just doesn't happen."

Because he was driving, Justin couldn't keep looking at her, but he did glance over several times. He let her talk without interruption, and even when she finished he wasn't sure what to say.

So with raised eyebrows, Taylor said, "Does that make sense?"

And that's when he remembered what his dad told him.

"Taylor, please never forget that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. And to my eyes, you are much more than some meaningless number."

She hadn't stopped looking him the entire time, and she was again watching very carefully as he spoke.

"There are so many things about you that make you beautiful to me. And since this is just me talking to you, what else or who else's opinions matter? I think you're beautiful, so isn't that enough?"

Her heart was racing again, and she had a sick feeling in her stomach as she continued trying to understand how this could possibly be happening to her. Not usually at a lack for words, and intelligent, meaningful words at that, she just blurted out what came to mind.

"You mean like my body that looks like it belongs to a boy? The one with no butt and no boobs and no curves? Or maybe my plain face or my average hair or my..."

They were turning into the restaurant, and Justin whipped into the parking lot, found the first open spot he saw, stopped, and turned off the engine. It happened so fast, it startled her, and Taylor stopped talking.

He leaned over and when she looked at him, he kept leaning and kissed her on the lips. Softly and only for a couple of seconds, but he did kiss her.

"Why...why did you do that?" Taylor asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Because I like your...boy body, and your flat butt and your non-boobs, and your...amazing, very-pretty face."

He kissed her again for less than a second then said, "Okay?"

Taylor sat there frozen in fear, excitement, dread, and hope all rolled into one as she croaked a one-word reply: "Okay."

He reached over and touched her face then asked, "Do you believe me now?"

"I...I want to," she told him, as her entire body trembled. "It might take me some time, though. I mean, it's not like...the disparity...isn't real."

"That's fair," Justin told her with a smile, his face still very close to hers. "I just want you to know that I've lost track of how many Averys there've been in my life. And none of them—not one—has ever made me feel the way you make me feel, Taylor. Okay?"

Her eyes were moving so fast between his Justin couldn't look at them. He closed his then pulled back slightly then heard her say, "I can only imagine how many there have been. What I can't imagine is how I could possibly be so...different."

He moved closer again then said, "Well, you are. And you're different in the best possible way. Different as in...special. You're very special to me, Taylor."

She blinked several times, then feeling slightly more in control, said, "Justin? I've never lacked self-confidence before, and I don't want you to think I'm some insecure little girl. It's just that I've always 'stayed in my lane' and been quite happy there. And now you come along and tell me I belong in the fast lane, and that contradicts everything life has ever told me; every social cue that's ever been sent my way says otherwise. So do you see why this is so difficult for me?"